Newbie - AFF Course Persuasion

[zf15z 0]

Hi,

My first post to the forum.

I have decided to take up skydiving and have done a lot of research into it over the past year or so.

I am currently only 19 and heading to college soon. I want to do my AFF course before I go to college but there is a problem holding me back...my parents.

It is a one hour and a half drive to the dropzone where I plan to do the course, I have done a tandem there previously. The only way I can get there is to drive, parents permitting which they are not, or to take the train.

I have tried persuading them that skydiving is very regulated and that it is made as safe as it can be. My dad does not mind me doing the course but my mum won't listen and is determined that it is basically suicide.

I have been hooked ever since my tandem and want to skydive but cant see myself doing it during college. I guess I could camp the Dz?

What are your opinions on this.

Thanks!

[NWFlyer 2]

If you're dependent on your parents for 1) transportation and 2) finances ... it's their call, not yours. If you don't reasonably believe you can skydive during college (though many many people do manage to make it work) you may want to wait till after you're done to even start. Finishing AFF now and coming back 4 years later will mean you're pretty much starting from scratch in 4 years.

If you can support yourself fully and support your skydiving, then your parents are out of the equation, as you're 19 years old and an adult who is able to make your own decisions. But if you're relying on them to take care of your financial needs, then they still have quite a bit of say in your life, including whether or not you skydive.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[airathanas 0]

You are over 18. You are an adult. You can make your own decisions.

I made my first tandem when I was 18. I told my Mom that I went jumping only after I did the jump.
She didn't like it when I got into either.

Over 10 years later, she did a tandem and brags about it to everyone she meets.
She has pictures of me jumping in her office and brags about me to everyone that comes into her office.

Do what you want to do. Live YOUR life. If you want to jump, then jump. If you don't want to, then don't.

http://3ringnecklace.com/

[zf15z 0]

I can handle the financial aspect as I have worked hard over the summer to save up. It's just whether it can be logistically organised, having to get the train then cycle 6 miles to drop zone to do my full day of AFF. The rewards could be great but its hard to get myself to do it with all the problems that will be caused...

[NickDG 23]

When I was nineteen years old I was already in the Marine Corps for three years and had a hundred jumps.

Grow a god damn set of balls!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFgiUm4lQig

NickD (Tough Love Light On)

[Hvance 0]

It can work. I'm in college now; just have to organize things carefully. Of course, I paid for everything out of my own pockets and drive myself. My parents aren't too concerned, but it wouldn't stop me if they were.

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

[skyflower_bloom 0]

Hi there,

Congrats on your tandem!! I think it helps a lot of parents to know that you have done your research and are taking safety precautions, educating yourself, and that AFF is a thorough and well designed progression.

Sounds like you have done this to some extent, and maybe this helped your dad but not your mom? As a daughter and a mother I can say (hopefully without too much gender bias- just in my experience) that maybe moms can sometimes be a little more emotional and a little less rational about things pertaining to their child's safety at gut reaction level than dads, in my experience at least- "mama bear" etc. though of course your dad cares for your safety too. And they act as a unit and he is not likely going to, say, overrule your mom and give you permission to take the car- I know most folks wouldn't as they have to act as a parenting "unit" even if he is more supportive and she needs more time to accept this.

Maybe your mom will be more willing to listen after you have safely made a few jumps, show her that you are willing to do this with or without her support but tell her you would really like to have her support? Or if you tell her, when you are both calm and she is not heated, that you really want to have an open, calm, and unbiased discussion and make it less personal- perhaps talk about it in more general terms to get her head out of you-as her son- doing it, see what her concerns are in general about skydiving and be able to address them (safety issues, etc.)

Or maybe write a letter if it just turns into an argument if discussed verbally? But just maybe once she wraps her head around the AFF program and the sport in general as not being some crazy suicide club, then she can contemplate YOU as her child doing it. But, OTOH maybe she needs to see you and other students doing it safely to really wrap her head around it- maybe she feels that she has to try to stop you but will want to be supportive and hear about the program once she realizes you are committed to doing this regardless and are an adult making your own decisions..?

You know her best, what do you think she would need to feel safer, since obviously what you have tried isn't working? TIME may just be the key factor, I think that was a lot of it with my mom, and realizing I was doing it and was not planning to stop doing it, it wasn't "up for discussion." (but not in a mean way, just acknowledging as in other areas of my life that I am an adult and I did not ask their permission, why would I, ya know?) But then, she never tried stopping me really, though she has thrown obstacles out there at times for me to step over/around if ya know what I mean.. like the car thing for you..

For me I did explain all the safety procedures (start w/ tandem, then 2 AFFIs holding grips, then one AFFI, then a coach, etc.) use of radio, use of RSLs, reserves, AADs, but over time so as not to overwhelm them.. I think it helped them, along with seeing my enjoyment, and for my dad when he met the folks at the dz and watched others jumping too, he was reassured a lot that it was not some crazy cult. Speaking of that, yes, he came out and watched me jump, he watches my videos, and now thinks it is a cool sport, though I am sure he still worries at times. My mom is still not thrilled, but doesn't badger me too much, and I try not to bring it up with her though I wish I could share this part of my life with her, it just seems like this is the best I am going to get, not really liking it but somewhat accepting or tolerating it.

And yes, you would have to take the train I guess- at least at first- but I think that is quite possible, that they are saying that to try to stop you and make it seem insurmountable/impossible, that over time they may give in on that, but idk.

I have a car but I will say I drive nearly two hours, each way, to the dz- so even on the train, it is do-able if you want it bad enough! I would hope once she/they realize you want and love this, and have done your research, they will both support you with love! Good luck with your folks and your AFF progression and keep us posted!

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

[zf15z 0]

Perfect answer thanks. Totally agree with the whole irrational moma bear thing!

Think I will go for my AFF level one and see how it goes =]

[Gators1240 9]

Quote

When I was nineteen years old I was already in the Marine Corps for three years and had a hundred jumps.

Grow a god damn set of balls!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFgiUm4lQig

NickD (Tough Love Light On)

+1

[skyflower_bloom 0]

Quote

Perfect answer thanks. Totally agree with the whole irrational moma bear thing!

Think I will go for my AFF level one and see how it goes =]

Glad it was useful
I am glad you have decided to go forth with your AFF and are excited about the sport, let us know how it goes, enjoy, and here's to hoping and assuming your mom will come around to some extent- if not thrilled, I assume once she sees you are taking it seriously and hopefully enjoying it and staying safe, she will at least tolerate it, maybe want to learn more, maybe one day come watch! (I still hold out hope that someday my mom will come watch jumping, who knows, but I am only 17 jumps in so who knows!?)

Enjoy. Oh and about that train ride- I was thinking about it, and with more than an hour commute each way (1:45-2:00 here depending on traffic) I would think a train would be MUCH nicer than a car, lol. If I had a train to my dz I would ride that biotch all the time. No dealing with traffic AND one could be studying, reading, or sleeping. Think about it, otherwise that is 2-4 hours out of your day you are just dealing with driving- idk bout you, but I would most rather have a train haha- I guess maybe the grass is always greener though as I am so used to having a car and having to drive everywhere... *shrug*

Blue skies!! R

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

[absane 0]

I was fortunate enough to have parents that showed some concern for my choice to go skydiving, but they also supported my decision to do it. Maybe they knew in the back of their mind that they couldn't stop me anyway... heh.

I did my AFF 1 jump and got it on video. They bragged to their coworkers about what I did and had to show the video to everyone they worked with.

My mom will always tell me to "be careful" when I head to the DZ. My dad will ask if I did "any jumping" today... and says to have fun.

If you go through with the AFF program, you might consider getting your first jump on video. That way, you can show your parents just how much safer it is than they might think it is. One thing that I also found helpful is to explain at what altitude you are pulling at, how many seconds that is from the ground, and how that's enough time to deal with an emergency. Like, when I was pulling at 6,000 feet... that was about 30 seconds to the ground (from freefall). That gives me about 25 seconds to deal with an issue if my main parachute isn't working. I was like "mom, 25 seconds is more than enough time to pull my cut away handle and then pull my reserve handle. And, if I am knocked out, my AAD will likely save me."

At least, that conversation worked well for me. Maybe your mother will react differently than mine did, lol.

Don't forget to pull!

[mrbiceps 0]

if its such a pain in the butt to get to the drop zone why dont u see if u can stay there and put a week aside to complete the whole aff course in one go. Most dz's dont mind rolling out a mattress on the packing room floor and crashing for the night.

[zf15z 0]

I have decided that the safest and best decision would be to wait until next summer where I have 4 months off and do my qualification at the beginning of the summer and then skydive throughout to get 50 jumps or so and confident with my skills.

I think that this would be much safer than just do the AFF 8 jumps and then the 10 consolidation jumps. I would then have to wait 3 months until xmas break to jump again and i think not only would this be unsafe but I would probably ride the plane down. =]

Also another 9 months reading this website and educating myself may lead to a more definitite decision next summer when I ask myself again, should I book this aff course.

Of course skydiving is in my mine and so I cannot wait almost another year to jump and therefore I am going to book myself another tandem right now XD

[Andy9o8 0]

You need to take your parents completely out of the picture. Non-skydivers have a lot of ignorance and misunderstandings about skydiving, but one thing they do instinctively - and correctly - understand about skydiving is that it always - always - involves an appreciable risk of death. (No analogies, please; I've heard them all.) There is nothing more instinctively horrifying to a parent than the thought of losing a child, at any age, to death during the parent's lifetime. No amount of rational argument will ever, ever change that human nature, period.

I started skydiving at age 18. I didn't tell my father or sister about it until I had had several jumps. They were completely opposed and unsupportive, and begged me not to tell my mother. That was the right decision, as she would have come completely unhinged had she known. (She eventually found out about it when I was in my late 30s.) BTW, I write this now as an over-50 parent myself of 2 college-age kids; so I know, first-hand, the mentality of both sides of this.

So, quite properly, I had to do it on my own. I had to join the USPA to jump at the DZ, but couldn't have Parachutist or USPA mail come to my parents' home; and my sister (who had her own place) wouldn't let me use her address for that purpose; so I got a P.O. box. I didn't have a car yet, so I either got rides to the DZ, or lied to my dad about where I was going in the family car - or I didn't get to jump.

If parents are supportive, or even just anxiously tolerant, of their young adult kids' skydiving, that's fine. But sometimes they're not, and nothing will change that. You set both yourself and your parents up for failure if you try, in any way to force through that barrier. Best thing to do: go around it, don't involve them in any way, don't discuss it with them in any way, and do it all yourself. Been there; done that; would you like to see my collection of t-shirts?