tbellopa-c 0 #1 November 11, 2010 Sometimes being a DZO can be fun. A group funjumpers from Skydive Houston served this on me today, 45 days before we move our DZ to Eagle Lake. 50 Miles WSW of Houston. I hope you enjoy as much as I did. Answers are on the bottom of the demand letter. “New Skydive Houston Dropzone Requirements and Demands” 1.Everyone needs a place to live on the dropzone 2.1 private kitchen, 1 kitchen for the dropzone café (Hotflash) 3.Volleyball court, Racquet ball court, Bowling alley 4.Personal masseuse’s 5.Personal golf carts 6.1000’x1000’ Swoop pond w/ 6 jet ski’s and wakeboarding boat. 7.All meals provided 8.All beer provided 9.Ladies of the night provided 10.Jager machine provded (3) 11.New rigs for everyone 12.Someone to accompany us on each jump to pull for us and perform EP’s 13.Adult/Baby changing station 14.Shuttle service to Tomball every 30 minutes (Bell 407 Helicopter) 15.Day care facilities 16.Dog kennel’s 17.Two 2011 Twin Otters w/ -34’s, 1 CASA, 1 Hawker 550 for the Boogie tour. 18.One Hot air balloon 19.One Midget 20.Someone to smoke for us 21.16’ Skyventure Tunnel 22.Personal packers 23.Xgloo tents for the boogies 24.Keg landing facility (20,000 acres) Sincerely, SDH Fun Jumper Board of Directors "Skydive Houston, DZO Answers and Disclaimers to Demands" 1.NO! 2.NO! You get one café so bring your wallet. 3.Yes, but volleyball court only 4.NO! 5.Hell NO! 6.1000 by 1000? Are you out of your mind? How about a lake! 7.No! 8.Special events only. 9.Go to Vegas. 10.Yes, but the SDH FJBOD must pay for it. 11.NO! 12.NO! 13.Wipe your own ass. 14.NO! 15.NO! 16.NO! 17.Hmmmm 18.NO! 19.Sounds pretty cool to me. 20.NO! 21.NO! 22.For hire only 23.NO! 24.NO! Respectfully, TB DZO, Skydive Houstonwww.skydivehouston.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #2 November 11, 2010 25. Pea gravel accuracy pit for the old farts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 3 #3 November 11, 2010 Quote25. Pea gravel accuracy pit for the old farts. Bull shit I want a tuffet. (sp. ?????) SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tbellopa-c 0 #4 November 11, 2010 #25, Yes! Hopefully it will keep the kids from wanting someone to teach them to swoop. www.skydivehouston.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #5 November 11, 2010 Quote #25, Yes! Hopefully it will keep the kids from wanting someone to teach them to swoop. No crap! Even when you take someone and try to get them on the right path, with good info and a good plan, they'll say "F it" and do their own thing. Their own thing puts them in the hospital or kills them.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #6 November 11, 2010 Quote 25. Pee gravel accuracy pit for the old farts. Fixed it for ya ---- I guess that it's too far to walk back with a weak bladder (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #7 November 11, 2010 Shoot, I must be behind the times, because I thought a good DZ was one with an airplane and shade for packing. P.S. What are the seven words a DZO most loves to hear? "You know what you ought to do?" ---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWernig 0 #8 November 11, 2010 I am the legal representation for this group and we think the list to be well thought out and full of reason. There are other things that "my clients" want, but we felt that we should not be greedy and ask for "everything". People don't forget to give your DZO a little bit of Hell---- they need it!! Nathan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #9 November 11, 2010 Well, to be fair to the DZO, I think some concessions need to be made: 1. We will refrain from whining about anything. 2. We will pick up and properly dispose of our own trash. 3. We will pay our monies promptly. 4. We will issue no rubber checks. 5. We will offer you sloppy seconds on the DZ groupies. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spootch 0 #10 November 11, 2010 Quote Shoot, I must be behind the times, because I thought a good DZ was one with an airplane and shade for packing. P.S. What are the seven words a DZO most loves to hear? "You know what you ought to do?" A DZOs motto "all your money for the rest of your life!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #11 November 11, 2010 Where is the minimum 7 foor deep swimming pool for water training and hot summer days? (not to mention suit optional swimming after dark) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thrillstalker 0 #12 November 11, 2010 Quote Well, to be fair to the DZO, I think some concessions need to be made: 1. We will refrain from whining about anything. 2. We will pick up and properly dispose of our own trash. 3. We will pay our monies promptly. 4. We will issue no rubber checks. 5. We will offer you sloppy seconds on the DZ groupies. rubber checks?"Never grow a wishbone, where your backbone ought to be." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bertt 0 #13 November 12, 2010 1) If not for the self-righteous zeal of former Texas governor Dolph Briscoe, you could have taken care of point 9 with a short trip to LaGrange. 2) Swimsuits are optional in Texas, so I'm sure the pool will be very popular. 3) Nathan sounds like a very reasonable person, and I support his efforts whole-heartedly. With any luck, the trend he is starting will spread.You don't have to outrun the bear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craigbey 0 #14 November 12, 2010 QuotePea gravel accuracy pit for the old farts You're welcome to take one of ours... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #15 November 12, 2010 QuoteQuotePea gravel accuracy pit for the old farts You're welcome to take one of ours... You've got TWO pea pits? Well shucks, you outta be willing to donate one of them to the new home of Skydive Houston. Now all we need is someone who owns a dump truck and is willing to drive it a thousand miles to get the peas here from Iowa... Maybe we can just take our own old pea gravel to the new location, and leave the caretakers with a gaping hole in the ground. At least big enough to swallow up one of their Piper Cubs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rmsmith 1 #16 November 12, 2010 #17 - It seems that the PT6A-60A is an STC for the Twin Otter. #19 - I feel sorry for that Midget on rainy days; glad I'm a 6'2". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craigbey 0 #17 November 12, 2010 QuoteNow all we need is someone who owns a dump truck I wouldn't be surprised if our DZO owned a dump truck. Just don't ask him where he parked it. One more item for the list ... shooting range. Congrats on your new digs. Hope the transition goes well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #18 November 12, 2010 QuoteOne more item for the list ... shooting range. Doh! That's an obvious one that I should have thought of! QuoteCongrats on your new digs. Hope the transition goes well. Much longer drive for me, and most people. Blech! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #19 November 12, 2010 Up here in WA, I lived 15 minutes from the Twin Otter DZ, until zoning issues pushed them 3 counties away. Now it's an hour and ten to the DZ for me.Oh well, a Twin Otter DZ within 60 miles of my driveway. A whole lotta people would be real happy with that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JerryBaumchen 1,047 #20 November 13, 2010 Hi John, Quote a Twin Otter DZ within 60 miles of my driveway. About 15 yrs ago I had five ( yup, 5 count'em ) dz's within 1 1/4 hrs from my house. Oh, where should I go this weekend???? JerryBaumchen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,394 #21 November 13, 2010 >About 15 yrs ago I had five ( yup, 5 count'em ) dz's within 1 1/4 hrs >from my house. Once Grimm opens his DZ in Oceanside we'll have 4 within 1 hour! 3 of whom have Otters. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cloudwlking 1 #22 November 13, 2010 Shorter drive for us by an HOUR maybe a bit more!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beachbum 0 #23 November 13, 2010 Quote Well, to be fair to the DZO, I think some concessions need to be made: 1. We will refrain from whining about anything. and all this time, I thought you've been hanging around skydivers half of forever ... LOL!! Quote 2. We will pick up and properly dispose of our own trash. see first response Quote 3. We will pay our monies promptly. 4. We will issue no rubber checks. see first response 2 more times ... Quote 5. We will offer you sloppy seconds on the DZ groupies. That one might not fly too well with his wife, who skydives so is at the dz ... For my contribution ... Nate, you forgot a nice built in smoker! Edit to add ... if you're going to let JR, et al bring rifles, we'll also need a gun safe for post beer light lockup! Don't want any more fires endangered by bullets ... As long as you are happy with yourself ... who cares what the rest of the world thinks? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccurley 0 #24 November 13, 2010 Damn, I think thats two pits more then in all of New Zealand! Watch my video Fat Women http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRWkEky8GoI Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #25 November 15, 2010 26. DZO gets to make the LAST jump at the old drop zone. 27. DZO gets to make the FIRST jump at the new drop zone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites