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tbellopa-c

A day in the life of a DZO

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Sometimes being a DZO can be fun.

A group funjumpers from Skydive Houston served this on me today, 45 days before we move our DZ to Eagle Lake. 50 Miles WSW of Houston. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.;) Answers are on the bottom of the demand letter.

“New Skydive Houston Dropzone Requirements and Demands”
1.Everyone needs a place to live on the dropzone
2.1 private kitchen, 1 kitchen for the dropzone café (Hotflash)
3.Volleyball court, Racquet ball court, Bowling alley
4.Personal masseuse’s
5.Personal golf carts
6.1000’x1000’ Swoop pond w/ 6 jet ski’s and wakeboarding boat.
7.All meals provided
8.All beer provided
9.Ladies of the night provided
10.Jager machine provded (3)
11.New rigs for everyone
12.Someone to accompany us on each jump to pull for us and perform EP’s
13.Adult/Baby changing station
14.Shuttle service to Tomball every 30 minutes (Bell 407 Helicopter)
15.Day care facilities
16.Dog kennel’s
17.Two 2011 Twin Otters w/ -34’s, 1 CASA, 1 Hawker 550 for the Boogie tour.
18.One Hot air balloon
19.One Midget
20.Someone to smoke for us
21.16’ Skyventure Tunnel
22.Personal packers
23.Xgloo tents for the boogies
24.Keg landing facility (20,000 acres)


Sincerely,

SDH Fun Jumper Board of Directors

"Skydive Houston, DZO Answers and Disclaimers to Demands"
1.NO!
2.NO! You get one café so bring your wallet.
3.Yes, but volleyball court only
4.NO!
5.Hell NO!
6.1000 by 1000? Are you out of your mind? How about a lake!
7.No!
8.Special events only.
9.Go to Vegas.
10.Yes, but the SDH FJBOD must pay for it.
11.NO!
12.NO!
13.Wipe your own ass.
14.NO!
15.NO!
16.NO!
17.Hmmmm
18.NO!
19.Sounds pretty cool to me.
20.NO!
21.NO!
22.For hire only
23.NO!
24.NO!

Respectfully,

TB
DZO, Skydive Houston
www.skydivehouston.com

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#25, Yes! Hopefully it will keep the kids from wanting someone to teach them to swoop.:(



No crap! Even when you take someone and try to get them on the right path, with good info and a good plan, they'll say "F it" and do their own thing. Their own thing puts them in the hospital or kills them.:|
--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

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Shoot, I must be behind the times, because I thought a good DZ was one with an airplane and shade for packing.


:P


P.S. What are the seven words a DZO most loves to hear?

"You know what you ought to do?":D

----------------------------------------------
You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

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I am the legal representation:S for this group and we think the list to be well thought out and full of reason. There are other things that "my clients" want, but we felt that we should not be greedy and ask for "everything".


People don't forget to give your DZO a little bit of Hell---- they need it!!

Nathan

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Well, to be fair to the DZO, I think some concessions need to be made:

1. We will refrain from whining about anything.
2. We will pick up and properly dispose of our own trash.
3. We will pay our monies promptly.
4. We will issue no rubber checks.
5. We will offer you sloppy seconds on the DZ groupies.

:D:D:P

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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Shoot, I must be behind the times, because I thought a good DZ was one with an airplane and shade for packing.


:P


P.S. What are the seven words a DZO most loves to hear?

"You know what you ought to do?":D





A DZOs motto
"all your money for the rest of your life!"

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Well, to be fair to the DZO, I think some concessions need to be made:

1. We will refrain from whining about anything.
2. We will pick up and properly dispose of our own trash.
3. We will pay our monies promptly.
4. We will issue no rubber checks.
5. We will offer you sloppy seconds on the DZ groupies.

:D:D:P



rubber checks?
"Never grow a wishbone, where your backbone ought to be."

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1) If not for the self-righteous zeal of former Texas governor Dolph Briscoe, you could have taken care of point 9 with a short trip to LaGrange.
2) Swimsuits are optional in Texas, so I'm sure the pool will be very popular.
3) Nathan sounds like a very reasonable person, and I support his efforts whole-heartedly. With any luck, the trend he is starting will spread.
You don't have to outrun the bear.

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Pea gravel accuracy pit for the old farts



You're welcome to take one of ours...



You've got TWO pea pits? Well shucks, you outta be willing to donate one of them to the new home of Skydive Houston. Now all we need is someone who owns a dump truck and is willing to drive it a thousand miles to get the peas here from Iowa...

Maybe we can just take our own old pea gravel to the new location, and leave the caretakers with a gaping hole in the ground. At least big enough to swallow up one of their Piper Cubs.

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Well, to be fair to the DZO, I think some concessions need to be made:

1. We will refrain from whining about anything.


and all this time, I thought you've been hanging around skydivers half of forever ... LOL!!
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2. We will pick up and properly dispose of our own trash.


see first response
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3. We will pay our monies promptly.
4. We will issue no rubber checks.


see first response 2 more times ... :P
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5. We will offer you sloppy seconds on the DZ groupies.



That one might not fly too well with his wife, who skydives so is at the dz ... :)

For my contribution ... Nate, you forgot a nice built in smoker! Edit to add ... if you're going to let JR, et al bring rifles, we'll also need a gun safe for post beer light lockup! Don't want any more fires endangered by bullets ... ;)
As long as you are happy with yourself ... who cares what the rest of the world thinks?

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