Completely unpredictable fear response

[leonard 0]

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to get an opinion from the more experienced people here. I've browsed the forums for posts related to handling fear, and saw some great advice, and similar stories to my own, so it's good to know that I'm not a unique case. That said, I figured I'd start a new thread, as all the ones I've seen before were from a few years back.

I'm currently an AFP student, having a lot of fun once I'm out of that airplane, and a real hard time on the way up. The strange part is that I really can't predict how afraid I will be on any given day. First time I jumped, I did a tandem, and was completely calm, no fear at all. So I thought skydiving was for me, and started up the AFP course. Was completely surprised at just how afraid I was for that first AFP jump: cold sweats, hands trembling, the works. Got out the door anyway, had a great time.

I had a similar reaction on subsequent jumps, but every jump seemed to be just a little easier. Got to my AFP 5, first solo exit, and actually wasn't really afraid at all, just apprehensive. Got out without a problem, thought I had licked that issue. Talked to my instructor about how that dive gave me new confidence, and got on the plane on the same day for a AFP 6. Got to the door, had a panic attack, and stayed in. Never had one of those in my life. I've been afraid many times, never to the point where I couldn't push through it if I reasoned out that the fear was out of proportion. Plus, I don't get it: why would the fear get worse as I jump more often?

The instructors were great, told me it's something that happens, and that they'll help me get over it. I figured it was a one-time thing, returned to the DZ the following week. This time around, I started having the panic attack before boarding the plane. Got in anyway, but didn't get out again. Once again, full support from the instructors, I really have no complaints at all about any of them. They work with me until I feel comfortable with the dive flow, they're really safety conscious, and they've given me good advice on trying to handle the fear. In the past, it has worked well, but I seemed to have hit a wall here.

I was going to try again this weekend, but got a cold, so it'll have to wait until next week. Any advice anyone would like to share? Right now I'm feeling pretty good about my chances to just suck it up and dive out, but apparently things change once I get up there.

[pyrotech 0]

I'm still very new to this sport, and still get nervous before every jump. To be honest, I hope that never changes. Part of the fun is overcoming the nervousness. There have been a few stunts that I've pulled in the past that scared the shit out of me. It was the biggest accomplishment to me taking the fear, pissing in its face, and telling it to fuck off while I landed the trick / stunt. This sport is supposed to be scary, right? That's what makes it fun!

I'm willing to bet that the next time you're getting out of the aircraft and are scared shitless, once you let go and land like a boss, that's going to be one of the most fun jumps you've made so far.

[jackwallace 3]

Why would you not want to be afraid? Then it would be bowling. People spend a fortune trying to be afraid: scary movies, roller coasters, bungy jumping and it'll never come close to what you got. Appreciate it. Soon most of it will go away and you will never get it back.
Unless you team jump and then you'll know what reeeeal fear is, cause if you screw up they will climb down your throat and rip out your spleen.

U only make 2 jumps: the first one for some weird reason and the last one that you lived through. The rest are just filler.
scr 316

[NWFlyer 2]

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Plus, I don't get it: why would the fear get worse as I jump more often?

Possibly because you're starting to gain a greater understanding and appreciation for the risk that you're taking. I remember when I was a student, some days I was calm, other days I spent the entire drive out to the DZ thinking "WTF am I doing?" I spent several plane rides (later jumps, in the 10-15 jump range) thinking "I can always ride the plane back down. I don't have to jump." I was well into my student jumps (single JM jump but can't remember the exact number) when my instructor asked "Are you ready to skydive?" and I just stared at him for a long time and had to take several deep breaths before I finally said "Yes." He told me on the ground he was starting to get worried about the spot because I'd taken so long (and he was so used to me giving a rapid "Yes" response).

What helped me (and continues to help me when I get performance anxiety or anxiety about a new experience for me) is to visualize - from beginning to end, as much in "real time" as I can. Visualize getting on the plane. Visualize the ride up, and the activities you'll do on the ride up. Visualize gear checks and preparation for exit. Visualize the door opening. Visualize climbing out. Visualize exiting. Visualize the skydive itself and all of the activities you'll do in the air. Visualize wave-off and deployment. Visualize your control checks. Visualize your canopy flight and any skills you'll practice in air. Visualize landing safely.

Going through that in your mind, on the ground, in a calm, quiet environment can not only help you to remember what you are supposed to do on the skydive, it also helps you envision a safe and successful skydive and every step involved in that. I find that makes the actual skydive itself much less of a shock to my system, since I've internalized all of what to expect already.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[catfishhunter 1]

I hate(ed) the airplane. I was on the verge of freaking out every singel jump up until jump 25 or so. It still comes back if I haven't jumped in awhile. The getting out part was/is my relief.

MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT
Life is Short and we never know how long we are going to have. We must live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. Everything we do should have a greater purpose.

[airtwardo 6]

Remember to breathe deep, think positive thoughts and get your affairs in order...

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[obelixtim 100]

It seems unusual to me. Fear is normal, but you shouldn't be experiencing "refusing to exit" type fear.. It makes me think something else is behind it.

Think back to your training prior to your first jump. Was there any aspect of it that you didn't "get", missed, or was unsure about.

I'm talking about where the parachute was opened up and shown to you, how it was explained to you how it deployed, how it was built and how it is flown and controlled.. Also how your reserve and AAD worked.

Then think back to your emergency training. Were you totally confident that you could handle an emergency with the parachute. Did the instructors put you under stress during the EP training.

In the intense training you get, it is easy to miss something, and the training continues at pace because there is a lot to learn. Once you start jumping it is hard to go back and revisit aspects you might not have been confident in.

IMO this manifests itself as anxiety which steadily gets worse, when the opposite should be true.

A lot depends on the quality of your instruction, and quality of instruction varies a lot, I've seen it at lots of places. Your instructors should have already physically run you through your procedures after your refusal. If they didn't, they aren't doing their job properly.

Getting into the plane you can have some level of apprehension, that is normal, but you should at the same time be totally confident you can handle anything on the jump.

When you have time at the DZ, get in the hanging harness and practise your EPs, you can never do too much of that, no matter what your experience level.

Long time gaps between jumps don't help either.

My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing....

[leonard 0]

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NWFlyer
Possibly because you're starting to gain a greater understanding and appreciation for the risk that you're taking.

I wish I could say that was the case, but I'm definitely at the point where I don't know enough to know what I don't know, and that includes most of the risks. I think that might be true for that first AFP jump after the tandem: there's something to be said for jumping out of an airplane after taking a 6-hour course most of which is spent on how to recognize problems and what to do if they arise :)

Thanks for the visualization advice, and especially thanks for sharing your story about your student days. It's good to know people who feel this way in the beginning still go on to get to the D license level. My instructors have told me to visualize the dive, exactly as you've said, and it worked beautifully in the beginning, because it kept my mind busy. This last time, it worked itself in panic feedback loop: I kept visualizing the dive, and then visualizing what would go wrong. I think part of the problem may be that thus far I've had real stable dives, so I'm not real confident in my ability to recover if I ever do go unstable or end up on my back. This will probably work itself out the first time it happens :)

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pyrotech and jackwallace

Thanks to advice there, guys. Yeah, I'm not an adrenaline junkie, I'm the mellow nerd who nobody believes has taken up such a sport. It's the only thing I do (other than driving) that can really be qualified as a risky activity. That said, I think you're right. The key should be to learn to enjoy that aspect of it, like you guys do. I'm pretty sure pyrotech is right, when I beat my fear, that sense of accomplishment is going to make the dive awesome.

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catfishhunter and airtwardo

Thanks for the support there guys. Good to know this is a thing which other people deal with successfully, and that's what I intend to do. Next weekend, I'm going to take a breath, suck it up, and dive out. Maybe write a will beforehand... :)

[leonard 0]

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It seems unusual to me. Fear is normal, but you shouldn't be experiencing "refusing to exit" type fear.. It makes me think something else is behind it.

Yeah, this is what I thought too. Like I said, I was afraid before, but the panic thing was new.

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Then think back to your emergency training. Were you totally confident that you could handle an emergency with the parachute.

Well, I'm totally confident I know what I'm supposed to do, I was never confident on my execution. I mentioned this in another post, but all my dives so far have been belly to earth, no out of control spin, everything went perfectly, and even though I've been told "arch fixes everything", I haven't seen it through experience, so I do have anxiety about things not going according to plan.

I've also been having a tendency to start the first stage of the flare too early (causing the instructor on the radio to help me finish the flare), so I'm not yet confident that I can judge my height well. One instructor has, however, taken me to the side after my last actual jump, and just shown me around the DZ different things at different heights that I can help use as a reference.

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A lot depends on the quality of your instruction, and quality of instruction varies a lot, I've seen it at lots of places. Your instructors should have already physically run you through your procedures after your refusal. If they didn't, they aren't doing their job properly.

They did, right before the next jump attempt. Like I said, they're safety conscious people. They also recommended doing an intermediate dive where we exit together, with the instructor linked up again, just for fun, no objectives, to see if it helps get over the fear. It's gotten to the point where I'm equally afraid of leaving with somebody holding on than I am on my own, so I think I'm going to try pushing through one more time, though.

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When you have time at the DZ, get in the hanging harness and practise your EPs, you can never do too much of that, no matter what your experience level.

We don't really have a hanging harness at my DZ, unfortunately. We just practice the cutaway and reserve deployment movements while standing up.

Thanks for all the comments.

[Andy9o8 0]

It's very normal, and very typical. I also had very similar experiences to NWFlyer and Catfishhunter. As a newbie, I'd get nervous-nauseous on the drive to the DZ, and then go discreetly throw up once I arrived. Yeah, the plane ride up was awful until about 20 jumps or so.

In addition to the good advice already here, I'll echo the point that you should try to avoid letting too much time pass between jumps. The more frequently you jump, the more natural (less unnatural?) your lizard-brain considers it, so the less nervous you are. We refer to it as "currency", or "being current". When I was a student, most of the time I'd make just one jump per weekend. Very nervous each time. Then at about 20 jumps, I stayed-over at the DZ the whole weekend and made about 6 or 7 jumps. By the second day there, the nervousness in the plane - the "door fear" - was gone. That was the currency doing its thing. It really does make a difference.

[JerseyShawn 0]

Maybe do a jump with an instructor and just work on recovering from flips and rolls the whole jump. Get the confidence thing up, since you're worried you may not be able to recover. Then you wont have the worry anymore.

Have fun, and overcome that fear!

[Jonathan-rasch 0]

on my first solo jump i actually was quite calm in the plane. when we reached 3400 meters and the door was about to open i started getting very nervous. i just stoped thinking about my nerviosity and it worked. once i got out of the plane i had one of the best times of my life

[Muffie 0]

Just to add to the other stories. One of the guys I respect most in this sport told me that when he first started he'd have to pull over and throw up on his way to the dz. Then he'd spend most of the weekend just hanging out trying to get up the nerve to jump, end up finally doing one or two jumps at the end of the weekend, and then do it all again the next weekend. Now he has something like 18,000 jumps and twenty years in the sport. So, as the others have mentioned, it is possible to get past it. I would just say don't force it. Maybe just go and hang out at the dropzone, watch some landings, sit in on some AFF or coaching debriefs, and when you feel relaxed and ready give it another go.

[fallfast69 2]

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Remember to breathe deep, think positive thoughts and get your affairs in order...

That made me literally laugh out loud

[bqmassey 0]

When you're brain is rational, make your decision to skydive. Be aware of when fear has driven your brain into an irrational state, and trust those decisions you made when your mind was rational. "Hack" your mind.

This isn't just a skydiving thing. This applies to anything you want to do, but have emotional trouble executing, like for example, someone trying to stick to a diet. When you're not being affected by physiological responses such as hunger, you're able to evaluate yourself and make goals in a rational, stable state-of-mind. When you get hungry, your mind becomes clouded, and you start to make irrational decisions ("Man that cheeseburger looks good. I guess it's not that bad, I should eat it. Just this last time."). The most effective way to fight off those irrational decisions is to expect your mind to flip into that irrational state from time to time. There's nothing wrong with your mind slipping into that irrational state; it's a very natural thing. Expect it to happen and be prepared for it.

Next time you feel fear getting to you, tell yourself, "When I was thinking rationally, I thought through this. The statistics are in my favor, and I made a rational decision to become a skydiver." You have to TRUST the decisions you've made when your mind was in rational mode.

Expect the fear to creep in, laugh at it when your prediction comes true, and stick to the plan.

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so I think I'm going to try pushing through one more time, though.

No.

Push through one or ten or twenty times. Push through as many times as it takes to get over this. The harder it is, the more it will be worth it in the end. Once you've overcome this, you'll look back and be glad for it. You'll realize that the lessons you're learning in skydiving can easily be applied to the rest of your life.

I dealt with a lot of nervousness myself. It was most definitely nauseating at times. Once you get through being a student and there's no pressure on you to perform, the jumps become a LOT more fun and it ENTIRELY worth it.

[airtwardo 6]

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Remember to breathe deep, think positive thoughts and get your affairs in order...

That made me literally laugh out loud

I'm very serious though regarding the breathing deep thing.

What you have to remember is the O2 is thinner up high which tends to make your heart beat faster. Your mind can take that as a key to trigger the fear interpretation and then the race is on.

Breathing deeply will slow your pulse and get more O2 rich juice flowing into the brain which lets you think clearer.

Certainly there is some fear involved, that's nature...it's what kept the old human beans from being tiger food. But understanding it and turning the fear into excitement then using it in a positive way is part of what keeps Skydivers from denting up the planet.

Still and all, never hurts to have your affairs in order, nothing worse than a loved one going through your sicko animal porn stash...

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[psk99 0]

There has already been a lot of good advice given here. I would add, that Brian Germain has a book, "Transcending Fear" that may help you learn to get your head in the right place and overcome this. There are a lot of skydivers out there, who have gone on to be great in this sport who have conquered fear. You can, too!

Deep breaths really do work!

[alp27 0]

I did my AFF ground school 3 weeks ago but sadly the weather has been too poor in UK to do my first jump. After i had practiced my exits on the actual plane I started to get a little paniced over the exit and would i be able to do it.

I have read Brians book 3 times and got it out and reread it follwing this panic. I then sent Brian an email thanking him and advised that it really help me get a clear head. He replied with the following words

"Look in the direction of the best case scenario and never look back. Relax, Focus, and Live!"

words to live by right there, and they will be with me when i make my first jump (hopefully next weekend if the weather behaves). Good luck mate, you should be really proud of what u have achived so far and the adventures to come.

Everyone dies.... not everyone lives!!

[bluetwo 0]

I just see it as: it's natural to have some fear, and you should, especially to the degree that it makes you remember to check your gear, do gear checks on others, re-check your handles before you get out and you see where I'm going with this.

While doing this just remember, outside the plane and into the air is where you want to be. That's what it's all geared towards. Planning to go to the DZ days or weeks in advance, driving there, packing, talking parachutes with buddies, the loads of cash you pump into the activity... it's all geared towards getting out of the plane and everything you do right after that. So yeah, it's a pretty crazy activity but we love it and we do it safely so others can do it safely too.

_______________________________________

[Gnusmas 0]

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Hey everyone,

Just wanted to get an opinion from the more experienced people here. I've browsed the forums for posts related to handling fear, and saw some great advice, and similar stories to my own, so it's good to know that I'm not a unique case. That said, I figured I'd start a new thread, as all the ones I've seen before were from a few years back.

I'm currently an AFP student, having a lot of fun once I'm out of that airplane, and a real hard time on the way up. The strange part is that I really can't predict how afraid I will be on any given day. First time I jumped, I did a tandem, and was completely calm, no fear at all. So I thought skydiving was for me, and started up the AFP course. Was completely surprised at just how afraid I was for that first AFP jump: cold sweats, hands trembling, the works. Got out the door anyway, had a great time.

I had a similar reaction on subsequent jumps, but every jump seemed to be just a little easier. Got to my AFP 5, first solo exit, and actually wasn't really afraid at all, just apprehensive. Got out without a problem, thought I had licked that issue. Talked to my instructor about how that dive gave me new confidence, and got on the plane on the same day for a AFP 6. Got to the door, had a panic attack, and stayed in. Never had one of those in my life. I've been afraid many times, never to the point where I couldn't push through it if I reasoned out that the fear was out of proportion. Plus, I don't get it: why would the fear get worse as I jump more often?

The instructors were great, told me it's something that happens, and that they'll help me get over it. I figured it was a one-time thing, returned to the DZ the following week. This time around, I started having the panic attack before boarding the plane. Got in anyway, but didn't get out again. Once again, full support from the instructors, I really have no complaints at all about any of them. They work with me until I feel comfortable with the dive flow, they're really safety conscious, and they've given me good advice on trying to handle the fear. In the past, it has worked well, but I seemed to have hit a wall here.

I was going to try again this weekend, but got a cold, so it'll have to wait until next week. Any advice anyone would like to share? Right now I'm feeling pretty good about my chances to just suck it up and dive out, but apparently things change once I get up there.

Hi
I want to get in this sport too but i suffer from generalized anxiety's, some one have told be to buy and read the book named Transcending Fear written by Brian Germain who is a skydiver/skydiving instructor, test pilot and a psychologist.

I have read over the internet that is a good book about teaching us not to be overwhelmed by fear.
Do a search on amazon. I allready ordered this book, today i must go to postal office to get it. I wish you luck, wish me too, hehe.

[e.a.hernandez 0]

During my student days I got really scared at times. There were couple of times where I got to the dropzone early and waited outside debating whether I was going to quit or not (this sometimes took >2 hours ).

For me the visualizing helped a lot. I would let the fear sink in real hard and then I would try to breathe and relax (focusing on all the muscles going limb). Then I would visualize the plane...sound..etc get scared again and let it go out. I believe learning how to deal with your fears (specially knowing how you will feel) is part of your growth in skydiving and will serve you in life as well.

I had a friend who did fine until he got to level 6. In his case, he was over anxious about doing flips and exiting without the instructor holding him. Try not to over think this flipping deal too much...just go for it. It is not as bad you think it is.

Good luck and keep us informed on your progress.