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guineapiggie101

Post accident depression and doubt...

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Is that common? Even for people with accidents that are NOT that serious?

Also, did you find that hanging out at the DZ made you more depressed since you couldn't join in with your friends on doing jumps, etc?

I usually hang out at the DZ most weekends, but sometimes it depresses me since I feel like I am not part of the culture there since I can't jump at this time. I miss it terribly and watching people jump, hearing people talk about AFF, about jumping in groups, etc., brings it painfully home to me that I am not a part of this anymore.

I have been trying to develop a weekend life outside of the DZ. I have hung out with other friends, spent some time with my husband and his friend, etc., but every time I drive by the DZ (I take the expressway that goes by the DZ, every weekend, on my way up north), I look for parachutes and realize how much I miss this.

I am conflicted, and wondering if this is a common feeling among injured skydivers who take a few months (if not longer) to heal. How did you deal with it?

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Is learning to pack or helping with manifest an option? It might make you feel more involved and also possibly build your bank balance with jumping funds?

Sorry to hear that you are feeling down.
Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

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Depression because you can't jump? That's pretty common, and I find that hanging out with skydivers actually helps, since you can still be part of that community.

Doubt? That's also common, and to me that's a good thing. Skydiving is dangerous and too many people tell themselves a story of safety that makes them comfortable jumping. But often that's more wishful thinking than reality.

Sometimes the first time a jumper really thinks about the dangers is when they are injured, or when they see someone else get injured or killed. It can be a troubling time for some people since those thoughts can take them way outside their comfort zone; contemplating life in a wheelchair (or worse) isn't pleasant for anyone. For me the first time this really hit me was when a friend of mine (John O'Hara) got killed. It wasn't even his fault - someone deployed under him and he was dead before he hit the ground. I thought for a long time about what his death meant to me, and about how my death could affect others.

I think talking to other skydivers can also help with this process. A lot of them have been through this already, and will likely have some experiences they can relate on how they made that decision, and the tradeoffs they made on risk.

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I had a broken hand/finger that had me in a cast for 6 weeks one summer. Sucked!

But I managed to run around and help with tandems, drive the cart/truck, and watch people in the landing area. There are so many little tasks that go on unseen at the DZ that someone can help out with if they have the inclination.

Yeah, it wasn't jumping, but it was better than sitting around staring at the idiot box or watching the lawn grow.

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Jump more, post less!

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Billvon, you've hit upon my feelings exactly.

I have talked to other, seasoned skydivers about my feelings and about what to do. In light of my accident and some other circumstances relating to my anxiety, I am leaning towards not continuing with getting my license. I still haven't made up my mind completely yet, but that is where I am leaning.

I don't want to leave the sport, but I also am coming to realize how dangerous the sport is. I just wish I could find a middle ground and be able to enjoy the sport and deal with my mind crippling anxiety. Currently, I am exploring methods to deal with my anxiety so I can maybe, one day, return to doing solos.

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>I just wish I could find a middle ground and be able to enjoy the sport and deal
>with my mind crippling anxiety. Currently, I am exploring methods to deal with my
>anxiety so I can maybe, one day, return to doing solos.

My bit of advice there would be to take your time. The sky will always be there for you when you want to go back, and in the meantime there are skydivers to hang out with and wind tunnels to fly in.

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If it makes you feel any better, I am recovering from breaking my ankle in two places on my second (that's right I said second) AFF jump! I attached a pretty picture if you feel like seeing the hardware that is holding me together.

I was more angry than depressed at first. I hated that I made a mistake that not only has made me wait to jump again but gave fuel to all my Whuffo friends and family who don't want me jumping.

I am sure everyone is different but I have not been back to the DZ since it happened eight weeks ago (but plan on going soon). I would not feel comfortable wandering around a DZ on crutches.

Anyway, long story short I have learned to stay positive, ignore the naysayers, and chalk it up to a learning experience. Remember how much you love it and relax and have fun.

Blue Skies!

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If it makes you feel any better, I am recovering from breaking my ankle in two places on my second (that's right I said second) AFF jump! I attached a pretty picture if you feel like seeing the hardware that is holding me together.

I was more angry than depressed at first. I hated that I made a mistake that not only has made me wait to jump again but gave fuel to all my Whuffo friends and family who don't want me jumping.

I am sure everyone is different but I have not been back to the DZ since it happened eight weeks ago (but plan on going soon). I would not feel comfortable wandering around a DZ on crutches.

Anyway, long story short I have learned to stay positive, ignore the naysayers, and chalk it up to a learning experience. Remember how much you love it and relax and have fun.

Blue Skies!



Ouch, that looks painful.

Do you plan on continuing with AFF once you heal up?

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FL_new_jumper's experience is similar to mine. I twisted my ankle pretty bad on my first AFF. I am the type of guy who will read and prepare extensively for everything he does, so as to do it right the first time. When I got hurt, I was more mad than scared. Still, after about a month, I started jumping again and I felt scared of getting hurt again. I remember on the ride up I used to think "what am i doing here, i just want to be at home, safe", but I always found that those feelings would go away after the jump. If you can, I would suggest giving it one more shot, and not letting an accident turn you away forever from what could be a great experience that will be with you forever.

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I think most people who are injured go through phases of depression during their recovery period. I found that I would feel really good if the doctors gave me good news, but feel really rotten if they gave me bad news (extension of recovery step, delay in starting something new, etc.). I really enjoyed visiting the DZ, but you have to be very careful not to over do it. 2 hours was about my max at first. Finally I read Dan BC's book and it helped me get over the worst stuff. I highly recommend it.

Blue skies,

Jim

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AFF8 went in hard, ended up with a nice titanium rod in right shinbone.
Live alone with two cats, lots of dorky friends who think i'm nuts and parents live 4 hours away and are flakey to say the least....am i nervous when i'm in the air? God you bet!
That first jump.....man it's a trip. But then it gets better.
But it's not for everyone, this sport we love. It can and will kill you.
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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I think a lot of it has to do with me and my own personal feelings and perceptions, not how others treat me. I still have a lot of friends at the DZ and people are happy to see me when I show up. It's hard to explain. I just feel like "I am outside looking in", esp since I can't jump right now, and am even not sure if I will return to the sport.

I am trying to re-establish other things in my life that I put aside while trying to get my "A" license. Kinda like not "putting all my eggs in one basket".

I still try to go to the DZ at least one weekend day every week and will be going there for the next boogie they have.

Gemini, I agree with you about the phases of recovery. I was kind of crestfallen when I went for my last checkup and asked the doc if I could do tandems yet, and he asked me to wait another 4 weeks until my next checkup to see how things are going (in other words, no definitive date).

Besides toodling around in a boot and on crutches, I am back to a normal life. I drive and go out and stuff, so that is something to be happy about too.

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i broke my leg on a low turn when i had 60 jumps, i decided i had to go back to the dz and learn more about how i ended up where i did.

its amazing how much you learn when you cant jump but want to!

i ended up jumping with the boot(months later) just put a big ass sock over it.

you talk about a dzo giving you the stink eye!

your passion for the sport will be the driving factor for you to heal, if the sport got ahold of you, which it sounds like it did.

hope you heal fast and get the urge to learn more, every jump is an adventure and learning experience!
Flock University FWC / ZFlock
B.A.S.E. 1580
Aussie BASE 121

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Once your doctor clears you, tandems are a terrific way to get back into the sky.



I asked my surgeon (on Monday) when I could get back to "normal" activity. He asked what I wanted to do.. so I said well.. what if I were to jump off this chair.. when would you say I wouldn't get injured any more than if I hadn't had the surgery..

Having the wisdom of an accomplished ankle surgeon he said, "What EXACTLY are you trying to ask me?"

I said, "Well I want to get back to skydiving..."

His response was, "Oooh, skydiving... no problem... you can skydive, it's good for business!"

Not exactly the answer I was looking for.. but thought everyone might get a kick out of it. :)

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While I have not had an injury I did have an unexpected pregnancy (haha) around jump 36, so I had to put jumping on hold and that was NOT what I wanted to do. But I worked manifest out at the dz and spent as much time out there as possible during that 9 months. I was "paid" in jumps so by the time I did get back into the air I had many many jumps saved up.....being at the dz will be the best place for you to decide whether or not to continue in this sport. It is dangerous, It can kill you or injure you horribly. Sitting around packing gear and learning everything you can about the gear, the people, the stories and the dangers....Good luck to you!!! and like billvon said, the sky will always be there!
"A man only gets in life what he is believing for, nothing more and nothing less" Kenneth Hagen

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Is that common? Even for people with accidents that are NOT that serious?



Yes.... For some people the doubts are larger than others, for some people the depression is deeper than others.

You have been very open and honest about our fears up to this point.... this leads me to think that you are more in touch with your emotions than others.... So, it is pretty normal for you too feel these things more than someone else.

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Also, did you find that hanging out at the DZ made you more depressed since you couldn't join in with your friends on doing jumps, etc?



Nah, for me it is the people not the activity that really matters. Sure it starts with the activity, but then melds into being around the people you care about. Last weekend I was coaching an 8way team.... I made exactly ZERO jumps and had a great time. This weekend I will be running a 4 way competition... I plan on making ZERO jumps and will still have a good time.

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but sometimes it depresses me since I feel like I am not part of the culture there since I can't jump at this time



That's all you. You can change that, or let it bother you. You can't control the events that got you to here.... You CAN control how you feel about it and you CAN decide on where you go next.

So it is common.... And so strong that people sometimes do really stupid things like rush back before they are 100% and get hurt again and have to stay out longer.

But after all of this.... You really need to understand that YOU are in control of how you feel about this. Does it suck you can't jump? Sure. But you can still be a part of the DZ without jumping.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."


Which wolf are you going to feed? The one that focuses on what you CAN'T do at the DZ and all the fun you think you are missing? Or are you going to feed the one that lets you build fantastic relationships with people who you like and like you and enjoy all the fun you CAN have?
"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

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I have been injured three times in this sport -- C-1 went unstable at pull and ended up with 76 stitches under my left arm. Later I hit a fence (hence my moniker "fencebuster") while still a student. No major damage but I broke a couple of ribs and was down for 6 weeks. Most recently, I stalled my canopy at low altitude and crashed and broke L-1. L-2 , L-5 and my tibia. So I used my AFFI rating to be the ground training guy at my DZ until I am healed, in a few more weeks. IT suck not to jump, but participating makes it all worthwhile.
Charlie Gittins, 540-327-2208
AFF-I, Sigma TI, IAD-I
MEI, CFI-I, Senior Rigger
Former DZO, Blue Ridge Skydiving Adventures

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