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lauril

Funniest whuffo question

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No less than three of my friends have asked if i can tandem jump with them when i'm done AFF.



LOL!!! yeah i get that question all the time... and it always makes me chuckle a little bit....:)
Now for my story....

This one time. At the drop zone... we were all just standing around packing our parachutes when the latest tandem student comes up all excited and says "Wooooooo Whooooooooo I'm finally a member of the mile high club..." We all stoped dead in our tracks and looked at him stunned at what he just said. There was about 5 seconds of silence then all at once everyone yells out the tandem instructors name " Hey Ronnie" then we all busted out laughing... Needless to say we all had allot of fun with that one for the rest of the day... B|B|

You know i still don't think anyone ever told him what being a member of the mile high club actually was...... :-)

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I know it's been a month since this thread has died, but I just found it and read the whole thing.....so freakin' funny.

I'm also a fencer and I get all sorts of dumb questions about that too. Except they're no special term for people who don't fence. They're normal I guess.

After my first cutaway, I decided to show my whuffo mother my equipment so she won't worry about me so much. When I got done explaining all of the handles and such, she goes, "Oh, I was wondering how you were able to open a jack knife (and does the hand motion) in the air to CUT AWAY your parachute. I was having nightmares!"

Also when people find out that I'm a skydiver, they say, "You've gone skydiving?"
"Yes, but I'm a SKYDIVER."
"You have your own equipment and everything?"
"Yes."
"You pull your own ripcord?"
"Yes." (even though it's not a ripcord)
"Can you bring me for a skydive?"
"No."
"Why not?"
and on and on and on.......

So I just don't people that I'm a skydiver. When people ask what I'm doing for the weekend, I say that I'm visiting friends. So I'm not actually lying.
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I had a botched landing, after which i found myself at the Doctor's.

Her answer: "Since you do not need your ankle while in the air, I do not see a problem with you continuing to jump, provided that you can make sure that you can make sure that you do not have to dampen the shock of touching down yourself."



When I herniated a disc, one of the medical professionals I talked to said that openings might be good for me because of the stretching.

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I could only stare at her, while having a mental picture of the fire department running after me with one of those catching whatchamacallits..



You just need a big rig, accuracy tuffet (air-bag), and the skill to consistently hit it.

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my first mistake, talking about skydiving around a bunch of whuffo's at work. 2nd mistake, tell them about a guy that had a cut-away, well my brilliant co-worker starts asking about the cut-away and starts making motions of a fucking machete, i still dont know where i would keep a machete on a jump. i love whuffo's
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" You're falling at 200 kph? Wow! Aren't you afraid that it will knock you out?"
Took me a while to realise they were thinking of (fighter) aircraft, and the g's they can pull.


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You just need a big rig, accuracy tuffet (air-bag), and the skill to consistently hit it.



A skill I sadly lack, but am working on to improve:)
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No less than three of my friends have asked if i can tandem jump with them "But I'd feel so much safer jumping with you!"

Are you RETARDED??!?!?! Safer with me than with a certified TM with 500-6000 jumps under his belt?



Retarded.. Now, that's not very nice. They just don't know anything about the sport, that's all. What they are looking for is not actual safety, but moral support. Just offer to be on the same load as they are, and make sure they can see you during the ride up. Smile a lot, thump their shoulder and whatever.
But make sure to discuss things with the TM first, no matter your current experience level.
They'll tell you how to behave in freefall, and probably also to stay the F away from the tandem in freefall. But that doesn't really matter, your friends do not need the support anymore once they are out of the door, now do they?
"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

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OUCH!
I never heard that,
I'm glad that it isn't true!
But I have to say, I had 2 old fillings removed and
replaced 8 months ago and they are still hurting..
May I need a root canal... Great! Or maybe when it gets cold and I don't jump they'll stop hurting, I'll let you know...:ph34r:

Whether you think you can or can't
either way you're right!

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One of my favorite things is when I stumble on a conversation about skydiving that's taking place between people who don't know I jump. I love to listen to them tell people all about it. Just this past weekend, I was at a party where a girl was telling some people about her vast experience as a skydiver. She was throwing around the big talk and made it sound like she was a total pro. After all, she "had been doing it for years and had racked up 63 jumps!" Finally, I asked what skydiving discipline she liked. She replied, "both!"

My personal favorite was a couple of years ago when I stumbled on a similar conversation and the person was explaining to her astounded audience how cool it was that you can have a totally normal conversation during freefall. I said, "really? how do you hear over the sound of the wind?" She said, "it's not windy at all. It's totally quiet and peaceful."

More graduates of the Point Break School of Skydiving.

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I've had prople ask me, "Waht if your parchute doesn't open?" I reply, " I have a reserve" Then they say " What if that one doesn't open?" Then I say... "then you go back up to the plane and get another one!" You'll will stun some people as they ponder what you just said. Dumb asses:)

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the most fun Ive had was watching a drunk in a bar tell a "hot skydiver chick" about his "airborne experiences"... not realizing that she had 3000 jumps and that the other side of the bar (the rest of us she was out with) were having trouble breathing from some of the claims he was making...
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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

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Whuffo spectator at the DZ once asked me about the pilot chute that was spinning behinbd the canopy in flight. I told her it was the propulsion for the parachute, sort of expecting she'd never believe that. But she thanked me and then related the inside info. to her friend. "It's what maes them go forward." True story.

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I was told during my Basic Training in the Army that i could not be a paratrooper because i had fillings in my teeth that would explode at altitide............


It still hasn't happened



Considering the kind of "altitude" you get on your typical military jump that's one of the most ludicrous statements ever made. If it were true I would be in total agony every time I drive around the mountains at altitudes substantially higher than those of your typical paratrooper drop, not to mention when I actually fly at altitudes that are bordering on HALO territory (>18000 ft).
My teeth are more filling than bone and I have yet to experience a single twinge of pain :S
I guess this fable just adds to the overall military "macho" attitude :|
Cheers,

Vale

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He's not talking about "typical military jump", in my country (Belgium) paratroopers sometimes go pretty high up on Halo jumps, and I'm not talking about 18.000 ft, more like 30.000 and sometimes even higher. It's a fact that people can start having troubles with their fillings. I've recently been on a 20.000 ft halo jump and some people experienced itchy gums and and slight pain on their teeth. Even before I went on that halo jump, everyone who went got a briefing from the pilot about what it would feel like and he too mentioned that there is a possibility of experiencing pain on teeth fillings.
So I wouldn't be too hasty on calling it a "ludicrous statement".

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I was told during my Basic Training in the Army that i could not be a paratrooper because i had fillings in my teeth that would explode at altitide............


It still hasn't happened



LOL you know in the US ARMY.... Your Training jumps are only at like 1200 feet AGL. When yu get to your Unit as a Qualified jumper you then start jumping in most sane units at 800 feet AGL...then there was my unit who loved to jump as if it were REAL COMBAT more than half the time on FT Bragg and Loved to put us out at like 500... Still dunno why they made us even strap those reserves on our bellies LOL... Now anyone feel free to correct me here as I am stating what was done in the 503rd MP BN in the early 90's on Ft Bragg..

Paratrooper in the Us Army is a Far Cry from Halo type jumps. Your Standard Paratrooper is jumping low alt on a static line.

However Back to the topic... My Favorite is when they ask what does it feel like in the rain? And of course my Reply is..."Its Horrible, i mean yout hitting the pointy end of the rain drop and it hurts!" most go "Oh yeah thats right your above the Rain Drops and you would get the pointy end!"
I usually Walk away then:)

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Sounds a bit hairy

In Australia the lowest we go now is 1000ft.
I jumped with the US Army a few years back, i love the way you spit chewed tobacco into a bottle and hand it to the dispatcher on the way out the door.
"Chicks dig guys that jump out of Planes! "

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>If it were true I would be in total agony every time I drive around the
>mountains at altitudes substantially higher than those of your typical
>paratrooper drop . . .

If you climb to HALO altitudes at the rates that aircraft can climb (as opposed to the rate that you gain altitude by driving) you may indeed experience some pain. I had problems with my teeth during WT04 and 06, although nothing exploded (although a few times it felt like it wanted to!)

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I've had lots of funny whuffo questions and I used to enjoy clarifying the progression and aspects of the sport..but then one Q leads to another and another and next thing you know you've spent 30 minutes with someone who will never try the sport, now I point to someone else and say "umm..ask that guy, he'll be a good one to ask" and then my friend gives me the look of "GTH,,and pay back is on its way":ph34r:






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