airtwardo 6 #26 March 12, 2003 ...AND There was the time at Elsinore, some spectators (re; whuffo) were askin the pilot why the jumpers were putting in earplugs prior to boarding... He told them- "I'm trying to get rid of my fear of flying...they don't like to hear me screaming!" ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clownburner 0 #27 March 12, 2003 Quote Once my sister asked, "Do they teach you a special roll just incase your parachute doesn't open? They do, it's called a 'jelly roll' 7CP#1 | BTR#2 | Payaso en fuego Rodriguez "I want hot chicks in my boobies!"- McBeth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #28 March 12, 2003 QuoteAfter viewing a couple of video's my mom wanted to know how far I went back up after opening...got a good chuckle out of that one..:) A guy just got done doing his first tandem and was looking through parachutist. There was a picture of an exit from a helicopter. He said, "I thought you couldn't jump from a helicopter because when you open your 'chute you'll go up into the propeller." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iflyme 0 #29 March 12, 2003 Someone I work with once asked "what if your parachute doesn't open?" I replied (with a straight face) "Gee, I never thought of that..." I guess it wasn't a dumb whuffo question -- just a smartass skydiver answer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpCrazy 0 #30 March 12, 2003 I also love this one: "So what happens when your chute doesn't open?" My response: "Well you cut it away and deploy your reserve chute." They say: "Isn't it kinda hard to use a knife to cut the lines when that happens?"Flying Hellfish #470 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ron 7 #31 March 12, 2003 Whuffo: What do you do if your chute does not open? Me: You cut away by pulling this handle, then open your second chute by pulling this handle. Whuffo: What do you do if the second one does not open? Me: Start to walk to the white light."No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casch 0 #32 March 12, 2003 My mom once told me I should be a rigger, she said "Just talk with Kelley and he can teach you how to pack your reserve next weekend so you won't have to worry about paying for a repack... I spent the next 10 minutes trying to explain to her how it's not that easy...she still doesn't get it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SPY 0 #33 March 12, 2003 Quote Whuffo: What do you do if the second one does not open? Me: Start to walk to the white light. The answer could also be: " you have 10 seconds to learn how to fly.." S-P =========================== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gcalder 0 #34 March 12, 2003 Whuffo: What do you do if the second one does not open? Me: Tie my shoes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,384 #35 March 12, 2003 >making it sound like we 'lost' one or two every weekend and it didn't >realy care... Uh, we do lose around one a weekend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamsville 0 #36 March 12, 2003 I guess that's true, at around 30 a year. The thing that whuffos often do not realize is that the sport has progressed to wing canopies from rounds. In most cases, many also believe that landings are hard (yeah, it happens more on the earlier jumps), and that landing softly under parachute, steering the parachute, and steering the body in the air don't really happen. |I don't drink during the day, so I don't know what it is about this airline. I keep falling out the door of the plane. Harry, FB #4143 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #37 March 12, 2003 I am shocked at how many people don't realize that we have A, B, C & D licenses and rated instructors/ jumpmasters. Several people I've talked to since I started jumping have actually asked me to take them up for a tandem, like ANYBODY can do it! ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Snowbird 0 #38 March 12, 2003 Not a question but a comment... of sorts. A customer overheard me talking to another customer who knows I skydive. He looked at me dumfounded and said, "Voluntarily, for fun?" and then laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.My mom asked me if my stomach gets queasy from being jerked back up when the canopy opens. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lolie 0 #39 March 12, 2003 Quote A customer overheard me talking to another customer who knows I skydive. He looked at me dumfounded and said, "Voluntarily, for fun?" and then laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. That reminds me of the guy who asked how much I get paid per jump. I wish! -Miranda you shall above all things be glad and young / For if you're young,whatever life you wear it will become you;and if you are glad / whatever's living will yourself become. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 0 #40 March 12, 2003 QuoteI spent 1/4 of an hour trying to explain to a dumb ass tandem student that we don't go back up, it's jsut the cameraman keeps falling. ..Have you ever thought of asking them how far backwards they go when they slam on the brakes? - -My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lauril 0 #41 March 12, 2003 QuoteSeveral people I've talked to since I started jumping have actually asked me to take them up for a tandem, like ANYBODY can do it! Has happened to me too, a friend of mine once asked me, just when I got off student, 'so when can you be a jumpmaster ?' Some girls have been asking that tandem too...And people are always so amazed when I tell them that I don't have any money because I just spent all for a reserve repack.. 'What ? Can't you pack it yourself ?' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casch 0 #42 March 12, 2003 Quote And people are always so amazed when I tell them that I don't have any money because I just spent all for a reserve repack.. 'What ? Can't you pack it yourself ?' I love it! Yeah when I told my mom I wouldn't feel confident in packing my own reserve, she said something along the lines of, "Well you're comfortable packing your main right? Well why would you be nervous packing your reserve?" Then I try and tell her that you don't have to pack your main PERFECT. I mean, I pack it and I'm FAIRLY confident that it will open, but I am prepared to cut it away and open my beautiful reserve which I KNOW will open, when I need to. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #43 March 12, 2003 QuoteThen I try and tell her that you don't have to pack your main PERFECT. Yeah...went down that road with my Mom...she didn't like that answer. "What do you mean? You better pack it perfect every time!!!" When I explained to her how we use rubberbands to hold the bag closed she just about had a conniption. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,384 #44 March 12, 2003 >Then I try and tell her that you don't have to pack your main > PERFECT. I mean, I pack it and I'm FAIRLY confident that it will > open, but I am prepared to cut it away and open my beautiful > reserve which I KNOW will open, when I need to. Uh, I hope this doesn't worry you too much, but reserves can mal, too. Their deployment system is a little more foolproof, but the main reason your reserve is a good thing isn't that it's much better/more reliable than your main, it's that the odds of two different canopies with two different deployment systems failing on the same jump are really low. Personally I know of four reserve mals (just reserve mals, no main/reserve entanglement) of which two were fatal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydivegirl 0 #45 March 12, 2003 My mom knows how to pack a round... LOL Pink Mafia Sis #26 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
betzilla 56 #46 March 12, 2003 QuoteI've also heard a mother of a tandem passenger ask the JM' "so...how many jumpers do you lose a year?" My fiance often teaches tandem classes at our DZ. Last year a student asked him, "When was the last fatality here?" She thought he was joking when he said "Yesterday." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 232 #47 March 12, 2003 Yup, a friend of mind ask if you can move around. I said yes. He said, so you kick like you're under water?"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 232 #48 March 12, 2003 "So, you do things like synchronized swimmers up there?" That's how I explain what RW is. (Shields up)"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #49 March 12, 2003 Back when I was married and I mentioned that I skydive to the other suburban women, they inevitably asked, "and does your husband go with you too?" Once I told them no, they said "Oh" and just stood there with a frozen smile. It's like they were incapable of processing the information that a wife could do a sport like this without her husband being there! I don't really hang out with those women anymore. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casch 0 #50 March 12, 2003 Oh dear god don't get me wrong, I KNOW reserves can mal. They are just more likely NOT to. I'm not going to be naive and pretend that I am perfectly safe skydiving because I have a 100% reliable parachute. But the odds are in my favor and if I get the short straw, well I guess I have 12-15 second to figure out how to trick my way through the Golden Gates Anyhow Bill, you know what I was trying to say Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
