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vortexring

Donald Trump bans apples from US after Putin tells him swallowing pips can make trees grow out of your bum

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Not really, but perhaps somewhat more believable than the recent annual appraisal disguised as a summit.

Welcome to the dark ages.

'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'

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