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Bob_Church

My first Santa jump. NOT a Christmas story

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When Nick called last Monday morning, I knew something was up. Something I wasn't going to like. He kept sort of beating around the bush. This is a guy who runs an explosives factory, Austin Powder's Red Diamond plant, as his career and manages an airport as his hobby. He usually just comes to
the point. But not this time. He starts off by telling me the shirts he specially printed for me are done. Oh yeh, he also has his own little screen printing business. He talks about taking me up for some jumps on Wednesday, and other pleasantries. Finally, he gets down to it. He mentions the upcoming
"Hilltop Music and Antique Car Festival" at the Vinton County Airport this Sunday, and confirms that I will be jumping for it. Nick's our pilot for these things. He's also the head booster for the Vinton County Airport, which receives no money from the county.
"Bobby" (I know I'm in trouble now), "bobby, how do you feel about jumping in a Santa suit?"
He interprets my hesitation as reluctance, and I've got plenty of that, but it's more the idea of why in God's name would I be jumping a Santa suit for a music festival during the first weekend of August.
But that's what he wants.
It turns out it's his latest idea for the candy drop. Many of you may be familiar with Candy Drops, but not the way we do them. You go to your Wood County Airshow for instance, and the kids are kept 500 feet back as some old guy in a Piper Cub taxis down the airstrip dumping candy. After the engine has been shut down, the kids are allowed to run out and grab the
candy.
But where's the sport in that?
The first candy drop Nick did still stands out as one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had at an airport, at least during the day.
First off, they filled a five gallon bucket with candy. And we're talking a wide assortment, lots of jolly ranchers, tootsie roll pops, gold wrapped chocolate coins, the works.
Then all the kids were kept in a group just inside the fence, as Nick flew over and Scott dumped the bucket.
The kids were kept back by a group of adults, including Harry the instructor, and they all noticed that something wasn't quite right. On the final part of the run, Nick decided that he was too far to the right (the kids being to the left) and made a last moment adjustment. This did two things. It increased airspeed and put the plane on a course with the kids.
We heard this huge "whoosh" like all the whooshes you've ever heard but all at the same time as five gallons of candy hits the slipstream. It looked like a Peter Max poster. All the colors of the rainbow, plus a few, especially the Jolly Ranchers. Speaking of which, as the heaviest, they hit first, striking the hangar roof across the parking lot and sounding like 50 caliber machine gun fire, Then a creeping barrage of candy advanced
relentlessly towards the kids. Harry took a tootsie roll pop to the forehead and went down on one knee. Just before it reached the kids, the barrage ran out. Chocolate coins were exploding out of their wrappers, leaving little gold carcasses and little m&m packs were doing their Claymore impressions.
The kids loved it, and Nick was forced to promise that there would always be a candy drop.
It's never been quite that good again. Last year they used a little helicopter. The guy hovered at about 20 feet while his partner dumped out the candy. I stood behind the EMS truck. It was the most solid looking thing around, and I knew that one cough of that ancient engine would mean prop pieces everywhere.
But somehow, and I'll probably never know how, Nick got it into his head that Santa should jump in, then the candy would be dropped. The idea was that I would exit at 3,000 feet, make a landing then walk over to the kids, do the Ho Ho Ho bit, as Nick and Scott dropped back down to about 20 feet and dropped the candy.

I pointed out that this was stupid. After all, why would Santa jump then have the candy dropped? I know they're kids, but that doesn't mean they're stupid. I mean, what's my motivation?

So I had them modify the upcoming announcement. Santa was going to jump in and then hand out candy. What I would do was to come up to the crowd of kids, give my ho-ho-ho and reach into the candy bag. Which is empty. Santa
forgot the candy!!! It's still on the plane! Everyone is horrified, but Harry, remember Harry, who will be standing beside me will get on the radio and let the plane know. They'll find the candy and drop it off.
They liked it.
I find all this very, very stressful. I'd feel stressed out enough just wearing a Santa Suit and going up to a bunch of kids, but to climb out of a plane at 3 grand, not know what the wind will do to the suit, etc. puts the pressure on. Which, I firmly believe, is why Nick picked me to do the Santa
jump. The others would have said "that sounds too stupid, no way." Plus the damned suit fits me, but I don't want to go into that.
At about 5:30 I put the suit on, put my rig on over it, and had Ted and Neal both do gear checks on me to see if I'd missed anything.
I knew the cap wouldn't stay on in freefall, so I'd hold it in my left hand. I use my right hand for opening, and figured that if nothing went wrong I'd be ok with that. If it did go wrong, then Nick would owe someone a new cap, since I might have to toss it to get things straightened out. The beard was a bigger problem, I decided that the only way to keep in in place was to bite down on it. As I told everyone later, if you think that
beard looked bad, it doesn't look half as bad as it tastes, smells or feels..
Scott sat on the backseat of the 172, and I knelt on the floor where the passenger's seat would normally be. This gave me a good exit without moving around a lot, which I needed, but meant that I was on my knees during the entire flight. A flight that went on forever. I never found out if it was because of a plane in the area, or timing or what, but we circled for at
least twenty long miserable minutes. I have a purple bruise on my left knee.
Finally, this is it! Nick lines up on the airport and I put my head out to spot. I notice that if I have my head down, charging-bull style, as I put it out the door, the wind plasters the beard to my chest, which works out well. I've worn two altimeters, my usual chest mount and my less-used wrist mount, to make sure I'll be able to see at least one of them. so this is perfect. I climb out, let go and rather than opening immediately I take it
down a good six to seven seconds. It's just that freefall feels so good after such a stressful day and plane ride. Then I reach back with my right hand and toss out my pilot chute. The next thing I know, I've gone into a cloud. No, it's the beard, being pushed up over my face. I clear it, then clear up the canopy, busting the breaks, checking the cells, collapsing the
slider and generally making sure I have a working parachute. Details. Then I put on the cap, and it's time to play Santa.
And it went really well. Neal slipped a sack to me with a handful or so of candy in it. I went up, did my bit, and the kids actually bought it. When Nick and Scott flew over I stood out on the tarmac holding my sack up, getting into the act, when they kept on going. I couldn't tell if it was part of the act or what, but I faked it, jumping up and down. This happened
twice. Scott explained afterwards that Nick was way too far to the left each time. Half the candy would have ended up on the terminal roof and the other half directly into the kids, taking out an eye or two. As the kids ran out to gather up the goodies I slipped into the briefing room and de-briefed, as it were.
Man it felt good to get out of that suit, and to have gotten past the whole thing. And the kids actually bought it. I kept my interactions to a minimum, mostly because I didn't know what I was doing, but also to cut down the chance of some older kid pointing out that I looked a lot like that guy who'd been here all day.
One really sweet point was when a little girl was telling her Mother that she wanted to thank Santa, but couldn't find him now. The Mother told her that Santa had had to get back to the North Pole, etc. This was while I was standing next to them, in street clothes. so I'd pulled it off.

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I've done a few over the years, a couple of them stick in my memory.

One after an all night session at the local bikies club HQ, when I wasn't feeling very ho ho ho. (Don't try this at home) This was for all the airport workers kids, so everyone knew everybody.

I had to hand out presents from a sack I was handed after landing. First kid came up (all the presents were named), and instead of the traditional "Merry Xmas" greeting, I came out with "happy birthday". D'oh!!!

All the adults cracked up!!! I never lived that one down.

Another one was into a works Xmas party with hundreds of kids, again all had presents, but I didn't want to go through that bit, so we had another Santa hiding in a tent, ready to step out with the sack as I walked in.

The other Santa was a rather dark skinned Maori guy, and of course the kids picked that up straight away...Santa had changed colour in a matter of seconds. One little smartarse came out with..."You're not Santa, you're that skydiver fulla". To which my reply was..."no presents for you then"

He disappeared quick smart.

Candy/lolly drops were always done from under canopy by Santas helpers, they worked fine. Beards go on once under canopy.
My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing....

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Bob_Church


We heard this huge "whoosh" like all the whooshes you've ever heard but all at the same time as five gallons of candy hits the slipstream. It looked like a Peter Max poster. All the colors of the rainbow, plus a few, especially the Jolly Ranchers. Speaking of which, as the heaviest, they hit first, striking the hangar roof across the parking lot and sounding like 50 caliber machine gun fire, Then a creeping barrage of candy advanced
relentlessly towards the kids. Harry took a tootsie roll pop to the forehead and went down on one knee. Just before it reached the kids, the barrage ran out. Chocolate coins were exploding out of their wrappers, leaving little gold carcasses and little m&m packs were doing their Claymore impressions.



That's the funniest thing I've read in quite awhile! Thanks for sharing!

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conwayte

***
We heard this huge "whoosh" like all the whooshes you've ever heard but all at the same time as five gallons of candy hits the slipstream. It looked like a Peter Max poster. All the colors of the rainbow, plus a few, especially the Jolly Ranchers. Speaking of which, as the heaviest, they hit first, striking the hangar roof across the parking lot and sounding like 50 caliber machine gun fire, Then a creeping barrage of candy advanced
relentlessly towards the kids. Harry took a tootsie roll pop to the forehead and went down on one knee. Just before it reached the kids, the barrage ran out. Chocolate coins were exploding out of their wrappers, leaving little gold carcasses and little m&m packs were doing their Claymore impressions.



That's the funniest thing I've read in quite awhile! Thanks for sharing!

Thanks. I've got a picture of the stream of any leaving the cessna somewhere. I've got to find it and post it.

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Mid 70's at Clark AFB RP I jumped as Santa. My beard blocked my view but I did land on the pitchers mound as planned. Was handed a bag and moved into the gym to hand out candy. I was mobbed by the kids. Finally ended up throwing the candy up in the air for them to grab. Went into the men's room to adjust my pillow and the kids were climbing over and under the stall asking for more candy. Last time I did that.   Joe Wachs D-4671

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