Cepheus 0 #51 November 30, 2002 Jimmy, I think when he meant that the student grabbed him, not that he told her to.-- Skydive -- testing gravity, one jump at a time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #52 November 30, 2002 Cepheus.....I know what what he meant.. Bro...... and I understood her willing participation,,,,still. gimmee a break....He set up the situation with his comment,,,,,.. he seemed to dig the attention... and I stand by my statement..... The dude can take YOUR sister... on a tandem,,, but not mine.....get it??? hey friends,,,I'm not tryin' to be a jerk here,,, but let's get serious.. Tandem Mastering should be about the first jump person,,,, not the T M (too many of whom seem to be closet comedians.....) some of whom do it for the wrong reasons....(like prestige, free skydives, or some kind of ego trip....) although I'll admit........ maybe not in this specific case with this specific TM.... sorry if I over reacted..... peace.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #53 November 30, 2002 From my vantage point, the little jokes and pranks pulled between a TM/staff and a Tandem Student is in good fun, and a way to get the student to relax, laugh and understand the fun we have skydiving. Although, I can't speak for all DZs, I know the ones I've been around, if a student is obviously distressed, we don't joke around with them, we're very reassuring.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Genie 0 #54 December 2, 2002 well during student week in our club, we filled a whiskey bottle with weak cold tea, and the two TM's took very visible LONG swigs, while repacking the parachute and training the two students. They then pulled out the "instruction manual" and started to check a couple of things - one of the TM's ragging the other guy that he was meant to have finished reading that before the weekend. The manual got tucked in the TMs jumpsuit so he could continue to study on the way up. Both TM's staggered around while putting the rigs on and then had problems finding the way into the plane - explaining that it was a new plane and theyd never jumped from it before. All of this is on video, with the two students looking uncertain in the background. One of the students actually asked "Are you guys sure you know how to do this?" Now they were friends of friends of skydivers, they were a good laugh and took it all in good spirit and it really is the funniest video. But we generally wouldnt pull that kind of stuff on new students.. of course the question of "What the hell is this and where did it come from??" while staring at the back of the students harness is always fun... Mind you - tables were turned on one of our tms once when he took up a guy who had a prosthetic leg and hadnt told the tm. On opening his leg detached and fell away from them and the passenger turned to the tm and said "My leg just fell off!" - the tm got a bit of a shock... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #55 December 2, 2002 Quote On opening his leg detached and fell away from them and the passenger turned to the tm and said "My leg just fell off!" OMG! The TM's expression must've been priceless... Did they find the leg? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ron 7 #56 December 2, 2002 Well I know where the line is. Its just like being in a bar. You don't flirt with the ones with a boyfriend. I am not even going to start on this, But its not like I do it to every female I jump with."No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Genie 0 #57 December 2, 2002 Quote Quote On opening his leg detached and fell away from them and the passenger turned to the tm and said "My leg just fell off!" OMG! The TM's expression must've been priceless... Did they find the leg? No, We jump over a bog and it disappeared in there somewhere... $3500 worth of leg which no doubt will terrify some poor person walking thru the bog some day...poor bloke was a bit teed off - hed just bought it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jdhill 0 #58 December 2, 2002 Said to the big manly man who is concerned about being strapped to another guy... "Don't worry, your instructor is not gay... but his boyfriend is..." Said to cute girls... "If you reach back and pull on the ripcord and he (the TM) starts to giggle... well that's not the right handle..." TM follows up with... "Yeah, but keep on pull'n..." TM is going through hook-up procedures and pretends to be complete, asks the student if they are ready to go... Video guy grabs the upper hooks and says... "man, you forgot these again... you remember what happend the last time you forgot these" After the plane takes off and starts to climb, the pilot throttles back and there is a noticable change in the engine noise... Act scared and start looking out the windows at the engines... There is a bump in our runway... as the plane takes off, it hits the bump and makes a sound... at the same time, grab the student and give them a little shout... then say tension breaker, had to be done... That is just a few of the usual ones... JoshAll that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. - Edmund Burke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
apoil 0 #59 December 2, 2002 Two of you walk past as the tandem master is gearing up or briefing the student and say to each other "yeah, he's the one I told you about" Or I'll say to the tandem master directly, "Are they letting you jump again? So soon after the accident?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ducky 0 #60 December 3, 2002 I can honestly say that if the Instructors at my DZ were stiffs w/ such caution and no sense of humor I never would have made a second jump. I can alos add that when i bought my big Sis a tandem for her 37th b-day she was disappointed. Her TM was a total bore and spent most of the ride to alti offering half ass attempts at calming someone who was hoping to be messed with a bit. I gues it doesn't count for much considering the DZ in question does more tandems and FJstudnets than most any other in the country. The fact that the TM mentioned is not longer employed there probably doesn't mean much eitherkwak Sometimes your the bug, sometimes your the windshield. Sometimes your the hammer sometimes your the nail. Question is Hun, Do you wanna get hammered or do you wanna get nailed????? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jessd 0 #61 December 3, 2002 I so enjoyed every moment of my first tandem. Part of what made it so fun was that the instructor and the videographer made a few comments that were intended to freak me out a bit. But, at the same time they were intended to calm me a bit. Both of them really got me excited about making the jump. It also made for a real funny video "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheMonkey 0 #62 December 3, 2002 QuoteSaid to the big manly man who is concerned about being strapped to another guy... "Don't worry, your instructor is not gay... but his boyfriend is..." on my first tandem, i got something similar right after being hooked up: TM: "Did they tell you that one of our tandem masters is gay?" ME: "No!" TM: "Kiss me and I'll tell you who it is!" --------------------- Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kevin922 0 #63 December 3, 2002 QuoteWe have one TM who use to introduce landscape to student while climbing flight ; " Look, there is cemetery of Malmi!" and "Let's compare altimeters.... you have red one and I have blue one" If I remember right there is only one student who got the joke (atleast those tandems I filmed) Uh forgive me for having a brain fart, but I don't get it.. ?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drenaline 0 #64 December 4, 2002 We don't joke to much to the tan students, we only say: "Who is the victim? so is he going to live or is it going to be the same like the one before him?" with a very serious look in our faces. On the plane ride up we don't joke, we let them concentrate on the dive and fart like crazy (you should see the looks on theyr faces when they start to smell the farts), we usually try to eat beans the day before the tandem.One of the students wanted to kick me out cause of the farts. HISPA 21 www.panamafreefall.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
outofit 0 #65 December 5, 2002 yeah, me too! It is better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faber 0 #66 December 5, 2002 Quote After I open, I point out the other tandem in free-fall At my DZ we cant ceat tandems,so we use the first time s/l student.The instructer tells them to be careful to tjek that chute,while 3300ft aint so high.Then we drop the student(usaly the one who tells evrybody that he s the guy),then a anther licened jumper jumps but pulls low.It works evry time.They are normal when they come down again.. Stay safe Stefan Faber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leandercool 0 #67 March 16, 2012 Heard these once: Right before jumping: "You connected these last lines right?" - TM: "after this jump, I might be allowed to jump by myself! So please pull in time and make a great landing" From 0 to 12.000 in 9 minutes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dpreguy 14 #68 March 17, 2012 An old favorite is: "When we get near altitude i'll ask yu if you want to jump." But remember: With all of the noise, "I don't wanna go" sounds just like "Geronimo!" Light hearted and fun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #69 March 17, 2012 Quote Heard these once: Right before jumping: "You connected these last lines right?" - TM: "after this jump, I might be allowed to jump by myself! So please pull in time and make a great landing" Troll alert 10 yr old thread Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leandercool 0 #70 March 17, 2012 Quote Quote Heard these once: Right before jumping: "You connected these last lines right?" - TM: "after this jump, I might be allowed to jump by myself! So please pull in time and make a great landing" Troll alert 10 yr old thread Threats That shouldn't be forgotten shall return. Why not restart an old oneFrom 0 to 12.000 in 9 minutes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #71 March 17, 2012 Quote Quote Heard these once: Right before jumping: "You connected these last lines right?" - TM: "after this jump, I might be allowed to jump by myself! So please pull in time and make a great landing" Troll alert 10 yr old thread So we tell people to use the "search" function and when they do we slag them off for it??You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stayhigh 2 #72 March 17, 2012 Dude, they let you do tandem again after that???Bernie Sanders for President 2016 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leandercool 0 #73 March 18, 2012 Quote Quote Quote Heard these once: Right before jumping: "You connected these last lines right?" - TM: "after this jump, I might be allowed to jump by myself! So please pull in time and make a great landing" Troll alert 10 yr old thread So we tell people to use the "search" function and when they do we slag them off for it?? Search function? Oh uhh, yeah. Let's just stick with that. And why would I be a troll by bringing back old and fun threats? It's not like I'm sitting here with a bag of popcorn, waiting for a flamewar From 0 to 12.000 in 9 minutes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skidz 0 #74 April 9, 2012 Did my first Tandem over the weekend with my best friend, whose mother was there to watch (It was his birthday). As the tandem instructor was securing his harness the birthday was mentioned and the instructor asked which birthday he was celebrating. I quickly replied "His last." We all got a good laugh, with the exception of his mother. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tkhayes 123 #75 April 10, 2012 In a thick Eastern European Accent, say something like "This morning, I janitor. Today, Tandem Instructor! What a great country America is!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
