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marcorandazza

Fatality at Eloy (Dec. 30), Condolences for Cliff Heller (Apoil)

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i chuckled and brought up 'exanguanate,' which is one of the few words that even a word nerd like myself gives pause to spell correctly when writing (still probably got it wrong). the word means 'to drain of blood.' it was his little code. you had to put it in the subject line if you wanted him to actually open an email you sent to him. i never forgot that about him, and every time i saw him, or even heard mention of him, that crazy word would pop into my head.



Another one of his favorites was "steatopygia". Look it up and you'll know why. A few of us in Hollister got together at my house this afternoon to remember Cliff in his first California locale. We drank some nice German microbrews he would have appreciated and watched some videos that Adam put together. It was truly a shifting point for me. Watching his huge grin in the air brought home how happy that kid was skydiving and I was able to smile too, watching him be that happy, knowing that's how he felt on the 30th.
Congratulations, Jen, on being able to bring out a side of Cliff that no one else could. As much as the flip side hurts, I'm so happy that he was able to find joy in you and your children, and a reality he had never seen before. Thank you for the words that must have been heart rending to write.
All the love,
Aviva

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i chuckled and brought up 'exanguanate,' which is one of the few words that even a word nerd like myself gives pause to spell correctly when writing (still probably got it wrong). the word means 'to drain of blood.' it was his little code. you had to put it in the subject line if you wanted him to actually open an email you sent to him. i never forgot that about him, and every time i saw him, or even heard mention of him, that crazy word would pop into my head.



Another one of his favorites was "steatopygia". Look it up and you'll know why. A few of us in Hollister got together at my house this afternoon to remember Cliff in his first California locale. We drank some nice German microbrews he would have appreciated and watched some videos that Adam put together. It was truly a shifting point for me. Watching his huge grin in the air brought home how happy that kid was skydiving and I was able to smile too, watching him be that happy, knowing that's how he felt on the 30th.
Congratulations, Jen, on being able to bring out a side of Cliff that no one else could. As much as the flip side hurts, I'm so happy that he was able to find joy in you and your children, and a reality he had never seen before. Thank you for the words that must have been heart rending to write.
All the love,
Aviva



He taught me what corophagia means. Ok, not as in he demonstrated... as in he sent it in a "vocabulary building" email to me. Along with steato...whatever.

Funny motherfucker!

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Ok, I CHALLENGE ANYONE to tell me truthfully... that they never told Cliff a story with a woman in it, and he didnt ask .. "well, was she hot?"

and then you say "Cliff, you sick fuck, that was my (grandmother, wife, dog, thai hooker, durian)...

He says: "ok, it is sick, but... was she hot?

Then you finally break down and say yes/no.

I cant be the only one he did that to all the fucking time. Ha!

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Jen your post makes me very happy for Bueno as well as much as it makes me happy for you. You are right about how resolute he was about living by his beliefs and I am very pleased you too spent such time together. I know it is never enough but I am happy you had what you did.

As far as being argumentative, I think that word is misleading. I am accused of being outspoken (and it is likely true and without the benefit of Cliff's keen insight) and I found Cliff to be quite agreeable. The things he brought to the discussion were usually things that I hadn't noticed and we sometimes debated these much longer than they deserved. He did a wonderful job of building a case for his view and I enjoyed these discussions very much.

I never quite got used to the purple PT Cruiser but it definitely fit him at the time. He showed up at our sleepy little King Air dz in a swamp in SC (not Southern Cal.... the SC on the east coast) with a fairly new AFF rating. I think he would have moved on after the weekend but our DZO loved Budweiser with rare exuberance. I endured many long dissertations on the value of having an "NCB number". He tried tirelessly to save our souls by teaching us not to buy cheap beer. Get it? NCB= No Cheap Beer. Anything worse than Newcastle would send him off to the nearest store to try and teach us more respectable habits.

I truly enjoyed his friendship and can only hope people someday look back at me and remember me for being anywhere near as kind and friendly. I haven't seen him in a couple of years but the winter air holds a bit more chill knowing he has moved on to another existence. If we ever discussed religion I don't remember it but if God grades on a curve, I am certain Cliff did very well.

Peace and love Cliff and I hope to meet you again someday.
"... this ain't a Nerf world."

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"Is she hot?"
"Damn it you're missing the point, Cliff!"

He's met almost all of my pre-skydiving-days friends in various countries (all of whom have been sorry to hear of this, most of them brought to tears) and he never met a single one he didn't ask that about before hand. Usually afterwards he'd explain in detail the sort of encounter he'd like to have with them, too. Ew Cliff, sick. :$:P
As always,
Love,
Aviva

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Kristin, this is Clifford's youngest sister Brandie. I would like to thank you for trying to save my beloved brothers life. He meant a lot to all of us and sadly, accidents happen. It is times like these when we have to stand by each other for support.

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Brandice & to All Who are Reading these postings of "Cliff Heller"

You have me smile, cry, laugh, cry, smile laugh & cry again. It is wonderful that all of you have such special memories about my cousin Cliff. This has to be the hardest death I've dealth with in my entire life (I'm 52). Even my parents passing wasn't this hard on me, they were much older. Their deaths weren't TRAGIC. Cliffs passing into the wild blue yonder has made such an impact on everyone. It was a horrible accident that I don't think anyone who knew Cliff though he would go out this way. I only hope his passing will kept others from having that same fateful accident. We were all be blessed by Cliff's friendship. Keep these posts coming, I look forward to hearing more & more about my cousin from many different people in his life besides our family.

Cousin Cindy

P.S. Miss you more than words can ever say
I love you XOXOXOXO

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This is Cliff's youngest sister Brandie. Thank you all for your comments on Cliffy (he will hate me calling him that). He was an AWESOME big brother to me. I have scattered memories of him being there is a 15 year gap between us, but Cliff always was a wonderful brother. I was fortunate enough to go out and visit him Summer 2005 where I took my first (and only) jump. He told me that I should do the T+ 13,000 feet because the 9,000 foot jump would not be worth it. He shared his passion with everyone around him. It was an amazing experience and I am glad I had the chance to share it with him. It is hard for everyone in his life to deal with this devastating news. We are all broken up over what tragically took him from us. It isnt fair. Everyone he touched throughout his lifetime was blessed to know him. I will miss him dearly. His death is still very shocking to us all. We are all crying over what happened. I myself am in disbeleif. Like many of you I have called his phone to hear his voice which only made me cry. I wanted him to answer it. I want him to call. I want it to be a mistake that it was not him but in the same case I wouldnt want ANY other families to be gong through what Cliff's family and friends are going through. Thank you all who knew Cliff and shared about him. I learned some more things about him- qualities that I now realize I shared with him so thank you all for giving me that peice of my brother back. And unfortunatly, accidents happen, so to everyone who shares the passion of skydiving like Cliff did, please be careful up there.

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Kristen,

No one blames your husband for what happened. It was an "ACCIDENT" and an accident is just that, an accident (it wasn't planned). As one of Cliff's family members I can assure you no one in Cliff's family blames anyone (especially Jay). Be well & I hope Jay is coming along.

Cliff's Cousin cindy

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Their deaths weren't TRAGIC



After a good friend of mine died earlier this year, I was questioning whether I should keep jumping. After reading my post about that questioning on these forums, Cliff sought me out one day at the dz. We had a long talk about my reasoning for hanging it up and he shared his thoughts on the matter with me.

Through that conversation and through his post to me here (quoted early in this thread), Cliff helped me to realize that when someone has a huge passion for what they are doing, it's not tragic when they leave us while pursuing that passion.

I didn't know Cliff for very long, only since he started jumping regularly at Davis. I didn't know him very well, but his words impacted me hugely. He was one of the people I looked forward to seeing at the dropzone. I hope the fact that through his love of skydiving he touched so many people in so many different ways in some way helps to lessen your grief, if not now then at some point in the future.

blue skies...
lisa

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Cliff was an important part in our little skydive family in Asia, while he lived in Singapore..... I remember all the stories I heard about him before I even met him. I was scared that I was not cool enough and I thought he will be laughing at me as I'm a bit of a chicken.... the opposite...he always had time for an encouraging word, cheered and motivated me for the next challenge.... a couple of years after he left Singapore Marcus and I met up with him at Perris for the flyboyz film festival. He got invited to do some big ways with the big girls and boys.... but he always found time to jump and hang with us....... Cliff you never left our mind......



....Marco, I never will forget the time you were in Singapore and jumping with us in Asia....I couldn't believe what you guys can eat....disgusting poor :-).... I thought I had to puke... I also don't forget the love I saw Cliff having for you - unconditional..... I think we are all very lucky to have crossed the path with such an incredible person.....

I also remember the first of January here in Australia were we are at the moment (it was still the 31 st in the US)..... Marcus reading the news on DropZone.com..... saying he has bad news...thinking he read the weather forecast and it will be raining for another 3 days...... how I wished this was true and how we wished Marco wasn't confirming our fear...

Jolanda

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....Marco, I never will forget the time you were in Singapore and jumping with us in Asia....I couldn't believe what you guys can eat....disgusting poor :-).... I thought I had to puke... I also don't forget the love I saw Cliff having for you - unconditional..... I think we are all very lucky to have crossed the path with such an incredible person.....



Those weeks in Asia were some of the best in my life. Hanging with my best friend, grossing everyone out with what we'd eat, being pigs in every way. I also loved that I was there in a way that could make Cliff proud of me. He knew me for so long, and saw me through a lot of changes in my life... and when I came to Singapore to be a speaker at a big conference, I loved that I was finally making him proud of me.

The part you wrote about seeing the unconditional love he had for me made me cry for about a half hour this morning. I haven't gotten that from too many people in this life. I dont expect to get it from many more. That was really cool. From fuck-up to big success, he was always in my corner.

I'm sorry to have confirmed the news. I wish that you and I had some other reason to re-connect.

OK, happy story time!

As you already noted, Cliff and I would eat pretty much anything. He was allergic to shellfish, but that didn't stop him from consuming any organic substance he could come across. It was cool to have a friend who would say "you gonna eat that eyeball?"

In Singapore, we loved going to Newton Circus to get red-hot Sambal Stingray.

When he came back from Singapore, I was living on Fort Myers beach, and he came to visit. An army of stingray camped out in the shallow water And we looked at each other and said "you thinking what I'm thinking?"

So we hacked up some bamboo poles and made spears out of them. A beer in one hand and a spear in the other, with horrified beach-goers staring at us, we both came out of the water with stingrays jammed on the end of our makeshift spears.

Next thing you know, we're grilling fresh stingray. We made a sauce out of coconut milk from the trees in my yard, and some ass-blasting hot pepper that I brought back from Laos. Of course, we got ourselves some nice frosty Singha to round out the meal.

Everyone on the beach looked at us like we were complete freaks of nature. And, well, I guess that was a fair opinion to have of us.

At the time, I was unemployed. I had just taken the bar, passed it, but couldnt find a job. While we were hunting stingrays, it caught the attention of a guy on the beach (well, everyone's attention, but this guy talked to us).

It turns out that the guy was a partner at a big law firm where I had been trying to get a job for years.

Cliff pimped me to the guy all day. By the end of the day, the guy hands me his card and tells me to make an appointment to come meet him at his office - that we needed to talk about me working for his firm.

Yes, I got my first job because me and Cliff were hunting stingrays with bamboo spears - and because Cliff couldn't resist looking out for me.

And now look where I am. Thanks, Cliff.

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Marco, this is Steve Black we meet & had a short but unbrideled time in Indo, also stimpies ( ashley's) wife hatede us both.
cliff did so much for me, & we did so much for him,
shit happens but it still hurts,
the shock is what gets me, he was the one person telling me to take care & have control, sad but true, he will be missed by me and many other.
I am glad we all had the times we did they will live on.

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I remember the nigth the cliff made you a Randezza brother, Indonesia & singapore was a different & extreme world, Amigos in Jakarta, Lido hotel, figths with locals over pool tabels, Dag Glow aborshions, what more can be said, a great person lost he tought me how to sit fly.
hardest lose I have had to hear or aprat from our other Indo friend how went in.
I have not shed a tear for a long time until today I hope I don't have to again any time soon .
fuck it all, I hope he had a great jump before the opening,
Love to all ,& sorry for the lose, but better than crossing the road.
Cliff rock on.

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I remember the nigth the cliff made you a Randezza brother, Indonesia & singapore was a different & extreme world, Amigos in Jakarta, Lido hotel, figths with locals over pool tabels, Dag Glow aborshions, what more can be said, a great person lost he tought me how to sit fly.
hardest lose I have had to hear or aprat from our other Indo friend how went in.
I have not shed a tear for a long time until today I hope I don't have to again any time soon .
fuck it all, I hope he had a great jump before the opening,
Love to all ,& sorry for the lose, but better than crossing the road.
Cliff rock on.




STEVE!!!!! I was trying to track you down for the past few days. I had an old mobile number and an old email address. I figured your dirty ass would boil to the surface soon enough.

Yeah... that weekend in Indo was one of the best of my life. What a fucking riot. Finding tequila in Lido, Indo., you saying "fuck it, give us one of everything on the menu, and bring us 10 pitchers of beer" (for what, four guys, three bar girls, and Rita.).

That was an epic weekend. I keep trying to write about it more, but I just get all fucked up when I do... I'm really happy to see your name up here though. PM me your contact info.

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As far as being argumentative, I think that word is misleading.

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Truer words never spoken in this case. You can say almost anything, if you say it with a smile, Bueno always had that smile, even laughed when he would hit the hard points, a laugh of the non-threatening nature.



I think he would have moved on after the weekend but our DZO loved Budweiser with rare exuberance. I endured many long dissertations on the value of having an "NCB number". He tried tirelessly to save our souls by teaching us not to buy cheap beer. Get it? NCB= No Cheap Beer. Anything worse than Newcastle would send him off to the nearest store to try and teach us more respectable habits.

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He used to always try to "turn me on" to a "real beer" but I every time I bought it, they drank it faster than me...stick with the cheap stuff. That way he would always offer me one of the good ones...



I truly enjoyed his friendship and can only hope people someday look back at me and remember me for being anywhere near as kind and friendly.

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Perfectly stated.



He did a wonderful job of building a case for his view and I enjoyed these discussions very much.

***

His voice, I will never forget hearing that voice, probably because it normally carried some kind of a message that would make you think.

Maybe I should go get one of them New Castles, and remember all of those good times. My prayers go out to those who grieve for our friend.

bue·no – interjection Spanish. good; all right.
:)
How well it fits.

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I just went on the incident part of dropzone & under fatality Eloy 30 December is a detailed account of how this happened to Cliff & Jay too. Jay is alive unfortunately my cousin Cliff isn't. If anyone wants to know the particulars (how the canopy's collided etc,) just go there and read the account(s). My heart aches, my eyes tear in fact I'm still crying hysterically @ times. This one is going to take a long, long time before the pain eases.

Cliff "I Love You"

Cousin Cindy XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOX

Rest in Peace

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Alright, all this talk about Cliff and beer along with some prodding from Marco has motivated me to make a post. My name is Ryan, and I’m Cliff’s friend from law school. Since I don’t skydive, and was never really fond of internet forums, I have held back posting something until now. I’ve enjoyed reading what everyone else has to say so much, that I feel it would be unfair to not share a pic and story with all of you. I also look forward to meeting many of you this weekend in Staten Island.

Here’s the story on the pic:

It was the last day of classes at the end of the Spring semester - right after the last 1L final (property law). Our school had scheduled to have a keg setup in the courtyard and Cliff and I had made a pact to get at least buzzed when we were done with the test. He had originally planned to leave right after the final to make the DZ before it got late, but the weather was unusually crappy that day. We had a great conversation about dark vs. light beer because Cliff was refusing to drink the Miller Lite the school had provided. Cliff was going on about quality brews, and I couldn't shut up about how many carbs they had. I knew how much he hated diet conversation. We paused long enough for the picture to be taken - right before Cliff gave in to me and finally walked over to the keg of Miller. We then continued the discussion until the keg ran dry and we noticed everyone else had gone home.

I flew out to DC the next day to begin my summer clerkship, and Cliff spent a week doing law review tryouts. I remember getting calls and crazy emails late into the night from him complaining about how ridiculous the law review competition was, or how he had figured out something in one of the problems that no one else would have gotten. I tried to remind him about the time difference between PST and EST but he didn’t really seem to care.

When he found out that he didn’t make law review, he called me first. After letting me know the news, he said “well, I guess it’s good that you didn’t waste a week of your summer doing tryouts, because if I couldn’t make it, then you couldn’t have.” Most people would have probably been offended by the statement, but not me. I understood everything Cliff ever said to me, and was never offended or hurt once. There was no question about it, he was right - if he couldn’t make law review, I definitely couldn’t make law review! We joked about the tryouts a little bit, and chocked up the situation to some crazy conspiracy by the school to only select a “certain type of people” for their law review, and how they were against engineers like us succeeding because we already had so much going for us. The theory was similar to the one explaining why we didn’t get into their top 10 law schools.

That was the great thing about Cliff, he could always recover well. After not getting in to Stanford, or not getting straight A’s the first year of law school, or not making law review – he always came back and fought harder. I’m still waiting for him to come back now…

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After not getting in to Stanford…



Fuck Stanford. Fuck Stanford in the ass. They blew it. We should send this to the admissions committee there with a note "see what you dipshits passed up!"

I think I may have tried a little too hard to stuff the sadness yesterday... it exploded on me this morning. I'll have it together by the time i get to NY.

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One of the videos posted uses the Repo Man theme as the background music. That is SO cool.

In the movie, which Cliff knew verbatim, there is a point when Harry Dean Stanton screams with immense rage (at some guys called *the Rodriguez Brothers*:

"GODDAMN..... DIPSHIT.... RODRIGUEZ..... GYPSY.. DILDO.. PUNKS!!!!"

Whenever Cliff and I made a jump together, we'd always look at each other and yell that. He would have this funny assed laugh afterward...

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One of my students read this thread... this is an excerpt from what he had to say:

I can't help but be jealous of the relationship you had with your buddy, Cliff. It sounds like the ultimate friendship - the kind in those 80's coming-of-age movies (Stand By Me), but you got to continue that into adulthood. It sounds like you guys were the loudmouths at the restaurant that quiet people like me would mutter "look at those assholes" while secretly wanting to join in.

No wonder he got an A in my course last semester.

Ugh... im fucking losing it again.

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Does anyone remember that "toast" that Cliff used to do, usually in the most inappropriate situations?

Something like this:

May prostitutes prosper,
May fuck become a household word, ...
Without further ado
Cunt.


Something like that. I know I am missing half the words because every time I heard it I was probably laughing beer out my nose.

I remember taking him out one night, and we had a bunch of girls at the table. He stands up, stone cold sober, and bellows this "toast" out.

He finishes, there is beer everywhere from me laughing, and the girls all fled.

Cliff had this way of cock blocking you, but making you have *more* fun in the process.

Cliff, you weird, offensive, hilarious bastard.

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