New jumper shows up and . . .

[billvon 2,395]

New jumper shows up at a DZ and gets on a bigway. As the load is climbing to altitude, an instructor notices the guy sitting there on the bench.

"Hey, I haven't seen you here before. My name's Joe. What's yours?"
"It's Dave!"
"Hi Dave. I notice you're on this big way here. Do you have the experience to do it? It's a pretty big dive."
"Don't you worry about that. I may be new but I'm fine."

Joe then notices Dave's rig. It's a ripcord main, which seems unusual on a new Vector.

"Hey, uh, Dave, is that a ripcord rig?"
"Why yes it is!"
"Oh. Why do you have a ripcord rig?"
"So I can put an AAD on the main as well. It's set to fire at 2000 feet so I get two shots at a good canopy."
"Uh . . so you have TWO AAD's?"
"Yep. And a Skyhook, two altimeters, two audibles, flotation gear and four hookknives. Oh, and a spine protector and paratrooper boots."
"We're not even near any water! What are you worried about on this dive?"

Dave looks Joe straight in the eye and says "not a fucking thing."

[beowulf 1]

Seems like a very strange and unlikely scenario. Not sure what the point is.

[CanuckInUSA 0]

This all depends on whether Dave and Joe support the Donkeys or support the Elephants. Plus is either one of them a gun lover and/or do either of them believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Me thinks (don't you just love my grammar) that this thread was posted in the wrong forum? LOL

Try not to worry about the things you have no control over

[DanG 1]

Read the OP of the Gun Joke thread.

- Dan G

[Andy9o8 0]

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"We're not even near any water! What are you worried about on this dive?"

Still better to have one cuz when you need it, you really really REALLY need it. Better yet, carry 4 or 5 in your car, too, so just in case some dirtball cuts you off in traffic, you'll never want for having one handly and ready to wave at him and threaten to inflate him but good.

[beowulf 1]

Ah, just read the joke haven't read the rest of the posts.


The two scenarios really don't match up all that well so the humor is totally lost in BillVon's version.

[Southern_Man 0]

I blame Obama. And Hitler.

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

[JohnRich 4]

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New jumper shows up at a DZ... What are you worried about on this dive?"
Dave looks Joe straight in the eye and says "not a fucking thing."

Understandable that pro-skydiving supporters would feel as if the joke proves their point.

However, what's interesting about the joke is the ironic subtext of the punchline that it's ONLY because he's surrounded by safety equipment that he feels as if he's in control of his jump.

[billvon 2,395]

>what's interesting about the joke is the ironic subtext of the punchline that
>it's ONLY because he's surrounded by safety equipment that he feels as if
>he's in control of his jump.

Hmm. Sounds like you are making the same assumption about this example that you attacked others for making in the gun example.

[JohnRich 4]

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>what's interesting about the joke is the ironic subtext of the punchline that
>it's ONLY because he's surrounded by safety equipment that he feels as if
>he's in control of his jump.

Hmm. Sounds like you are making the same assumption about this example that you attacked others for making in the gun example.

Do you have a problem with that assumption?

[lawrocket 3]

The guy should be committed, arrested, and lose his suffrage.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Andy9o8 0]

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The guy should be committed, arrested, and lose his suffrage.

No fair! Why shouldn't he suffer like the rest of us?

[quade 3]

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Quote

>what's interesting about the joke is the ironic subtext of the punchline that
>it's ONLY because he's surrounded by safety equipment that he feels as if
>he's in control of his jump.

Hmm. Sounds like you are making the same assumption about this example that you attacked others for making in the gun example.

Do you have a problem with that assumption?

Ok, oh god, I take it all back!

billvon proved that it doesn't HAVE to be because of fear; the guy in the joke could just be a moron.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[JohnRich 4]

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Quote

Quote

>what's interesting about the joke is the ironic subtext of the punchline that
>it's ONLY because he's surrounded by safety equipment that he feels as if
>he's in control of his jump.

Hmm. Sounds like you are making the same assumption about this example that you attacked others for making in the gun example.

Do you have a problem with that assumption?

Ok, oh god, I take it all back!

billvon proved that it doesn't HAVE to be because of fear; the guy in the joke could just be a moron.

That's funny, because all I did was copy your response in the "gun joke" thread, and change a few words to match billvon's scenario. So now you've compounded your incorrect assumptions, by assuming that people may carry guns not just because they're fearful, but also because they're morons.

Let the gun bigotry continue.

[billvon 2,395]

>Do you have a problem with that assumption?

You can make any assumptions that you like. It's pretty funny to watch you attack people for making the same sort of assumptions you make, though.

[champu 1]

So... you take driving with a faulty tail light pretty seriously then, huh...

[JohnRich 4]

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You can make any assumptions that you like. It's pretty funny to watch you attack people for making the same sort of assumptions you make, though.

That's called "giving them a taste of their own medicine". Glad to see that you didn't like it - that's an acknowledgement that when it was done by the anti-gun side, that it was wrong. And that was the whole point of throwing it back at you guys.

[kelpdiver 2]

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"Hey, uh, Dave, is that a ripcord rig?"
"Why yes it is!"
"Oh. Why do you have a ripcord rig?"
"So I can put an AAD on the main as well. It's set to fire at 2000 feet so I get two shots at a good canopy."
"Uh . . so you have TWO AAD's?"
"Yep. And a Skyhook, two altimeters, two audibles, flotation gear and four hookknives. Oh, and a spine protector and paratrooper boots."
"We're not even near any water! What are you worried about on this dive?"

Dave looks Joe straight in the eye and says "not a fucking thing."

So once again, you're trying a bit too hard and come up with a pretty poor translation.

Carrying two pistols and having 3 other guns in the car doesn't interfere with the ability to drive or react.

But using obsolete rigs, and dumping overcomplexity onto a skydiving system where you have seconds to resolve problems is a pretty clear risk increase. Perhaps if the driver were wearing ski boots and had a rambo knife digging into the small of the back...

[quade 3]

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote

>what's interesting about the joke is the ironic subtext of the punchline that
>it's ONLY because he's surrounded by safety equipment that he feels as if
>he's in control of his jump.

Hmm. Sounds like you are making the same assumption about this example that you attacked others for making in the gun example.

Do you have a problem with that assumption?

Ok, oh god, I take it all back!

billvon proved that it doesn't HAVE to be because of fear; the guy in the joke could just be a moron.

That's funny, because all I did was copy your response in the "gun joke" thread, and change a few words to match billvon's scenario. So now you've compounded your incorrect assumptions, by assuming that people may carry guns not just because they're fearful, but also because they're morons.

Let the gun bigotry continue.

You think I didn't recognize what you posted?

Oh dear . . . you must have more guns than I thought.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[skybill 18]

Hi B-V,
It's a JOKE!!!... A f%#king chicjken joke!!!!! A twisted Joke and the punch line is exzctly the same!! The stolen joke about the guy gets stopped by the PD, gives license, regis and "Concealed Carry Permit" the cop says you caryin?? The guy rattles off a bunch of guns and the cop sayz "What ya' 'fraid of??" and the guy sayz,"Naddafuckinthing!!!" Gof#$infiggure!!!! Ya' can cqrry 15 extra reserves, 14 hook knives and 37 AAD's an' ya'll still "BOUNCE!!!! Joke or no joke, itdon'tmatter. "Got Gunz... and parachutes too."

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[lost_n_confuzd 0]

My neighbor who's a Harley guy once asked why I wear all that gear. My answer...

...while riding my motorcycle to and from work on I-95 the chances of me being hit by soccer-mom flapping her jaw on the cell are very slim. However, in the event she does side swipe me at 60+ mph, my chances of survival without my protective gear are even lower.

That's why no matter what the weather is I wear a full face helmet, leather jacket with armor and back protector, kevlar pants with knee/shin guards, gloves, and riding boots.

I doubt soccer-mom will hit me anytime soon, probably never will. I'm not scared of her, I don't ride in fear, but in the event that she does side swipe or hit me from the back, I want to be protected.

Of course, if you're stupid and ride on the street like you do on the track, you'll greatly increase your chances of getting hit by soccer-mom. So, even though you're wearing gear, don't be stupid and rely on it to save your ass. Use your brain first and avoid soccer-mom.