I'm sorry we are Arab we don't have sex....

[shah269 0]

I had a very interesting discussion with one of my friends from Saudi regarding sex, war and life.

A few months back I was put on a blind date by my cousin in an effort to cheer me up due to my pending divorce. My cousin grew up in Texas in a very Persian / middle eastern community and thus most of her friends are Persians and middle easterners. She knew I was down and set me up on a blind date with one of her friends that just happened to live 40 miles from me. We'll call her N. N is a beautiful girl. Simply gorgeous. She's the kind of girl who when you walk into a bar with her holding your hand the guys turn around and notice and the women start calling her names, more on this later.

The girl could have been a model if she had not married so young and was living in the US.
N is my age, 33. Married twice. First at 17 to her then boy friend which whom she had a son with and divorced and remarried a guy a good 25 years older than her when she was in her late 20's.

The girl has had a rough life to say the least. But never the less she is a very nice person and very attractive to boot. So I was very happy with my cousin when I first saw N thinking...."OK maybe life doesn't have to suck so bad." but it was evident that after our first date that we were of different worlds but we decided to stay friends. I like having friends from various parts of the world gives me better perspective on life.

So her and I have been friends for a while and we have gone out to the movies and dinner and what not and are rather comfy with each other and speak openly without issue.

Last week I was having evening tea with my friend Amro from Saudi regarding the culture of Arabia and where this anger was coming from. He being pragmatic simply stated "We are Arab, we don't have sex we just drink tea and get pissed off at things and people." Now I'm not one to blame the worlds ills on women for that would be insane which I told him point blank. But his rebuttal was spot on.

"Look Shah some of the most beautiful women in the world can be found in the Arab world, just look at Ms. America. But our culture prevents us from dating let alone talking to each other. All that builds up amazing frustrations on the part of us guys. And unlike girls we just can't shop away our sex drive. So we suppress it via doing dumb shit such as going off to Afghanistan and or just being angry or if we can afford it leaving the country and hitting up Amsterdam and Eastern Europe. It's not that women are the fault of this anger it's our society and it's the social rules we have to live by. Rules devised by a few guys afraid of the size of their dicks and thus placing a woman's chastity above all else thus imprisoning her in her own gender. But what they didn't account for was the rest of us guys having to live with such a ludicrous construct! Trying to balance our own desires brought on by biology and our culture."

Very powerful words. But I still thought he was a bit over dramatic. I mean really! I've been around the world and no way any culture could really be that conservative about love and sex. Hell even those nutty Mormans know how to get down and dirty!

So this past Friday I took N out for dinner since both of us were feeling very down due to life. First we hit the mall for I needed new shoes. So I decided to try out a little social experiment. Here I am with a woman who exudes sexuality from the shoes she is warring to the clothes she has on (no one dresses like that on a Friday afternoon unless they want the attention). I tell her I need to get a birthday card for a friend and duck into a Spencer's. The look on her face when she saw all the various sex toys near the dirty birthday cards was just amazing. A cross between shock and horror. I asked if she had ever owned one and the look said it all.

But hey not everyone is kinky. But maybe Amro was on to something. Later during dinner I asked her point blank, "N, you are my age, you have traveled as much as I have, honestly how many guys have ever seen you naked?" Answer "Three". Three I said in shock! One was her first husband second was her son being she use to take him to the shower with her and last being her last husband.
Here is a woman of amazing beauty, when I showed her photo to my female friends in my MBA class they all accused her of being various things proving that the girl is in fact very attractive, and who has not only no sex drive but has no sexual experience.

Thank god I'm only her friend!
But then it hit me, ok say there were many of her, all with the same level of chastity imposed on her by guys suffering from SPD (Small Wang Disease). How would I behave? And I suddenly saw where Amro was coming from. You would have this cognitive dissonance between biology and social norms. And at some point you will have issues. Be it becoming radical or violent.

Maybe what the Arab world needs, other than a modern education system, is a sexual revolution. Much like the one we had here in the US. The empowerment of women so as to take charge of their sexuality and their lives so that maybe this disconnect would go away?
That or start pumping estrogen into the water supply to calm these poor guys down.
Just look at our society when women gained equality in bed with men. Have you noticed that things are a lot calmer than they use to be?

What do you think?
Not saying sex and sexuality is the end all and be all to world piece but perhaps sexual equality may be a step in the right direction.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Tokter 0]

I saw a documentary about that on swiss television. I think it played in Iran, where they have temporary marriages. You sign up for a predetermined duartion, pay the priest and voila you are married and automatically divorced when the time is up.
That seems to be used for prostituion, dating etc.

So at least some found a solution...

[shah269 0]

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I saw a documentary about that on swiss television. I think it played in Iran, where they have temporary marriages. You sign up for a predetermined duartion, pay the priest and voila you are married and automatically divorced when the time is up.
That seems to be used for prostituion, dating etc.

So at least some found a solution...

Yeah we Persians are a different lot then Arabs.
But yeah you got it....that's what it's for.
Then again, you have morons like Ahmightneedajacket saying "There are not gays in Iran......but we will cover the sex change costs."

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[falxori 0]

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But our culture prevents us from dating let alone talking to each other. All that builds up amazing frustrations on the part of us guys. And unlike girls we just can't shop away our sex drive. So we suppress it via doing dumb shit such as going off to Afghanistan and or just being angry

It may be a contributing factor but it can't be that simple.
The Arab society is not the only one with strict sexual restrictions. Orthodox Jews can be almost as bad with interaction between the sexes but you don't see a lot of them going to Afghanistan.
Not saying your point is invalid, just that its not as simplistic and straight forward.

"Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero."

[shah269 0]

Orthodox Jews also make up a small population of the Jewish community.
Who knows....but holding back biology in the name of god?
Not a good idea.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[billvon 2,384]

>Who knows....but holding back biology in the name of god?
>Not a good idea.

We hold back biology for God, for society, to adhere to laws, for any number of reasons. Sometimes it's a good idea, sometimes it's bad.

[BillyVance 34]

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Orthodox Jews also make up a small population of the Jewish community.
Who knows....but holding back biology in the name of god?
Not a good idea.

You could make the same argument for Catholic priests being forced to embrace celibacy. Now the Vatican has to deal with all the molestation firestorms.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[shah269 0]

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Orthodox Jews also make up a small population of the Jewish community.
Who knows....but holding back biology in the name of god?
Not a good idea.

You could make the same argument for Catholic priests being forced to embrace celibacy. Now the Vatican has to deal with all the molestation firestorms.

Immagien if they had guns, money and a target!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[kelpdiver 2]

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I saw a documentary about that on swiss television. I think it played in Iran, where they have temporary marriages. You sign up for a predetermined duartion, pay the priest and voila you are married and automatically divorced when the time is up.
That seems to be used for prostituion, dating etc.

So at least some found a solution...

Same solution the students at BYU have found with weekends in Vegas.

[Binkus 0]

Ive actually heard quite a few people in the military make this argument LOL. although it may be a contributing factor I dont think it is quite that simple.
But it does go along with the old saying guys sometines use before going to a bar "By the end of the night I'll either be fighting or fu****g)

[shah269 0]

It's funny, a few months back I was reading an article about how on paper Japanese women have the lowest sex drive on the planet and are perfectly happy with having sex once a year with their husbands. Preferring to shop and be with friends to having an intimate encounter with their partner.
The article also went on to say that based on a 30 year study, only in Japan can you have a 30 year study!, on average the average man in the study who was 25 years old had 1/2 less testosterone then his grandfather. And they were discussing how it was a form of evolution brought on by commercialism where by one gender could satisfy their biology via consumption of goods while the other tried to figure out what to do. Thus these new "guys" were more prone to forgoing their sex drive and setting up "social clubs" where they knitted and baked rather than chase girls.
It was really strange. I'll have to see if I book marked the article. But Japan is a peaceful country but when you look at Arabia and all the political mess there and you add to the pot a good deal of frustration.....it becomes nutty.
Maybe middle east peace can be brought about via sending mass amounts of porn into the region?
Or some sort of huge bomb carrying birth control pills? Anything to bring about social change in terms of equality of the sexes. But then again.....how many women would forgo shopping to a night with their husbands or boyfriends? I know women here in the US who would prefer to shop till they dropped rather than an evening at home.
Makes you wonder doesn't it? What will happen when some super frustrated well to do Saudi oil sultan invests a few million at some silicon valley start up to develop the first female android? (I'm showing my age here, think Cherry 2000). Then what?
Sure the world would be at peace but we would go extinct in a few decades.
Which....might not be a bad thing?

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Butters 0]

Everyone having sex with everyone is not the solution to your problem. If you don't believe me, just watch Maury Povich ...

"That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch

[shah269 0]

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Everyone having sex with everyone is not the solution to your problem. If you don't believe me, just watch Maury Povich ...

At least they aren't blowing themselves up!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Meso 38]

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It's funny, a few months back I was reading an article about how on paper Japanese women have the lowest sex drive on the planet and are perfectly happy with having sex once a year with their husbands. Preferring to shop and be with friends to having an intimate encounter with their partner.

You've pretty much just destroyed my dreams.


PS:

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At least they aren't blowing themselves up!

Nice pun, well played.

[Butters 0]

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Everyone having sex with everyone is not the solution to your problem. If you don't believe me, just watch Maury Povich ...

At least they aren't blowing themselves up!

What about all the assaults and murders that occur because of infidelity or promiscuity?

"That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch

[shah269 0]

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What about all the assaults and murders the occur because of infidelity or promiscuity?

Very true.
But I'm talking Macro Sexuality and you are talking Micro Sexuality.
As a culture where by all sexual contact is prohibited such as that of Saudi Arabia and other hard line Islamic countires or strange cults and or institutions such as the Catholic church.
In effect it's hazing to obtain complaince. Except it may have backfired.
Again I'm speaking Macro not Micro.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[turtlespeed 212]

So . . .in a nutshell . . . what you are saying is that all the Arab world needs to do is get laid and they will stop blowing people up?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[shah269 0]

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So . . .in a nutshell . . . what you are saying is that all the Arab world needs to do is get laid and they will stop blowing people up?

Would you blow people up if you were getting laid?

There is a level of frustration in their culture due to high unemployment, add it to is social pressures, and then some history and a dash of "What do you mean I have to marry the first girl I say hi to!" and well....yeah.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[turtlespeed 212]

Quote

Quote

So . . .in a nutshell . . . what you are saying is that all the Arab world needs to do is get laid and they will stop blowing people up?

Would you blow people up if you were getting laid?

I don't think anyone should blow people up.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[kmills0705 0]

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So . . .in a nutshell . . . what you are saying is that all the Arab world needs to do is get laid and they will stop blowing people up?

Would you blow people up if you were getting laid?

There is a level of frustration in their culture due to high unemployment, add it to is social pressures, and then some history and a dash of "What do you mean I have to marry the first girl I say hi to!" and well....yeah.

Where do you live again so we can stay away?!

Kim Mills
USPA D21696
Tandem I, AFF I and Static Line I

[Southern_Man 0]

I don't know that I buy Shah's original premise but there is a lot of literature about sexual frustration of various sorts leading to violence. China, due to its one child policy and sex selective abortion, has a rate of 113 live male births:100 live female births. The natural occurence is 105:100. China will have 20 million "extra" males within the next few years with little/no mating prospect. Could be a huge cause of societal instability or military adventurism.

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

[shah269 0]

Well it was my friends theory as to why his homeland is such a hot bed (pardon the pun) of anger and frustration.

I don't know if I agree with him but I know I would not be happy if I lived there. Biology Vs. Religion and Social Pressures.....may cause me to be an angry dude.

I don't think I would pick up a gun but I would probably be a bit more angry.

As for China, I'm sure it's going to be interesting? Maybe China will start importing girls from across the globe? Who knows? Their culture is a little different from that of the Middle East.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[TriGirl 268]

You could also look at it this way:

Many cultures/religions believe that in society as a whole, the "male" and "female" bring different energies to the table. Sometimes all-male and all-female interaction is healthy (such as boys night out, Saturday spa with the girls). Sometimes, you need to have the two halves together for the combined result.

In Saudi (and other such restrictive places), they separate the male and female to the extreme. It may not be a matter of HAVING sex. It may be a matter of just the company of the opposite sex. For instance: when I throw a party, guys always want to know if I'll have a lot of women there. They aren't necessarily trying to score, but they're enjoying the interaction. Perhaps if the pendulum were to move just a bit toward the middle, not necessarily to the opposite side, it would suffice. After all, when you're raised in a society where you can't even look at a girl/woman in the face until you're ready to marry her, seeing her hair and/or having an open conversation is probably just as fascinating/satisfying!

See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus

Shut Up & Jump!