skydiverkeith 1 #1 August 12, 2010 In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your adoring fan. James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)Blue skies, Keith Medlock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver604 0 #2 August 12, 2010 lmao "The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lost_n_confuzd 0 #3 August 12, 2010 I'd like to read her response. Should make for a good laugh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IanHarrop 37 #4 August 12, 2010 Old joke - this must be a re-post Its been around for years. Do a search and I'll bet this same link below was posted the last time too. http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp "Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hvance 0 #5 August 12, 2010 This is still good. If anyone watched the show the West Wing, there's a great scene in which Bartlett slams a conservative pundit using several of these lines. (The writer received the email.)I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #6 August 12, 2010 Quote This is still good. If anyone watched the show the West Wing, there's a great scene in which Bartlett slams a conservative pundit using several of these lines. (The writer received the email.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHaVUjjH3EI&feature=player_embedded Always fun to re-watch. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #7 August 12, 2010 And people go on about the Quran When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
D22369 0 #8 August 12, 2010 Why can't I own Canadian? *** Be glad you can't.... you would never be able to keep your fridge stocked with beer! Roy They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #9 August 12, 2010 Quote Why can't I own Canadian? *** Be glad you can't.... you would never be able to keep your fridge stocked with beer! Roy and the SMELL . . . I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hwt 0 #10 August 13, 2010 Quote And people go on about the Quran I have a feeling that the same could be done to the Quran , but that would get you killed.The letter had me laughing, but i never heard whether or not we could have a Canadian slave. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #11 August 13, 2010 Quote The letter had me laughing, but i never heard whether or not we could have a Canadian slave. From what I understand, if you ask Remster nice enough, he will be your Canadian slave. For a little while anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #12 August 13, 2010 You can't own a Canadian because we are the superior race (we do live North of you), and therefore it makes more sense for us to own an American. Which would be pointless because as the superior race we ourselves would also prefer to own a Canadian!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #13 August 13, 2010 Canadians don't hold their value. Poor investment. Mexicans, on the other hand, work for their keep. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelpdiver 2 #14 August 13, 2010 QuoteYou can't own a Canadian because we are the superior race (we do live North of you) so the Moose and Polar Bear are the master races of North America? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,611 #15 August 13, 2010 43% of Canadians prefer bacon to sex: tweetmeme.com/story/581948037/43-of-canadians-prefer-bacon-over-sex-holy-kaw... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #16 August 13, 2010 Quote 43% of Canadians prefer bacon to sex: tweetmeme.com/story/581948037/43-of-canadians-prefer-bacon-over-sex-holy-kaw When you eat bacon, it's over and done. No rotten first marriage; no child support; no tuition checks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #17 August 13, 2010 Quote You can't own a Canadian because we are the superior race (we do live North of you), and therefore it makes more sense for us to own an American. Which would be pointless because as the superior race we ourselves would also prefer to own a Canadian!! And owning an American would be like owning a fat yappy dog... the neighbours would be really pissed off with you... make a noise about nothing, eating all of you food and crapping all over your lawn.... (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piisfish 135 #18 August 13, 2010 why would anyone want to own a Canadian anyways ? scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverkeith 1 #19 August 13, 2010 Quote why would anyone want to own a Canadian anyways ? I hear they come in handy on mountaineering trips, although from my experience they are overly afraid of avalanches and driving erraticly on snow...Blue skies, Keith Medlock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abedy 0 #20 August 13, 2010 Quote Always fun to re-watch. Too bad it hasn't ever been aired on German free TV. But I suppose quality stuff like West Wing is considered a thread to the audience numbers/rates by the powers-that-be of the various channels. Most of 'em prefer airing cheaply produced gemstones like Big Brother or "The Top 25 funniest farts on TV" etc pp it seems... The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abedy 0 #21 August 13, 2010 P.S.: As a German, I could choose slaves from quite a variety of countries, by the way... And, according to Beavis and Butt-Head, KuhNuhdah is "the big state in the north", IIRC - maybe that's the reason US Americans can't own them? The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #22 August 13, 2010 Quote P.S.: As a German, I could choose slaves from quite a variety of countries, by the way... And, according to Beavis and Butt-Head, KuhNuhdah is "the big state in the north", IIRC - maybe that's the reason US Americans can't own them? Canada - the 51st state . . . I like it . . . then we could share all our healthcare.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver604 0 #23 August 13, 2010 Well, don't bother with the French Canadians, they whine a lot, talk about separating and expect special treatment. a Newfie Canadian would be good, If you like, fishing, hunting, drinking and fighting that's the route to go. Just make sure ya got real cheap native smokes and plenty of beer in the fridge. "The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #24 August 13, 2010 Quote Well, don't bother with the French Canadians, they whine a lot, talk about separating and expect special treatment. a Newfie Canadian would be good, If you like, fishing, hunting, drinking and fighting that's the route to go. Just make sure ya got real cheap native smokes and plenty of beer in the fridge. What about guns . . . lock them up - or leave them out all willy nilly so they have something to play with when I have to go to work?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver604 0 #25 August 13, 2010 Guns??? leave em out, lock up the bullets tho, be like sending Tiger Woods to the golf course and hiding his golf balls "The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites