Hey christians, riddle me this?

[rhys 0]

I was just reading the bible for something to do while sitting on my hotel room throne.

I wanted to read the noahs ark part as it seemed interesting.

This part got me thinking;

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11 Now the earth was corrupt in God's sight and was full of violence. 12 God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. 13 So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. 14 So make yourself an ark of cypress [c] wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. 15 This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. [d] 16 Make a roof for it and finish [e] the ark to within 18 inches [f] of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks. 17 I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish. 18 But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife and your sons' wives with you. 19 You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you. 20 Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive. 21 You are to take every kind of food that is to be eaten and store it away as food for you and for them."

So, if evolution does not exist, then is Noah officially the first human to discover new zealand? it seems this way as the maori are only believed to have been there for around 1000 years, we have many birds and other creatures that are secific to NZ so he must have passed through on his mission to collect all the creatures great and small.

I really cannot believe how millions of people actually find this plausable?

The leaders of countries even have to pretend they believe it also, to keep the votes rolling in.

As a christian (if you are), do you actually believe this happened?

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[JackC 0]

Back then, all the animals lived within walking distance of Noah's house. After they hitched a lift on the ark and Noah dropped them all off again, plate tectonics split Noah's back yard into all the continents of the globe (gardens were much bigger back then). Now New Zealand isn't really an island, it's actually floats and it got isolated faster than the other continents because Noah gave it the motor off the back of the Ark so it could chug across the south pacific (which it still does to this very day).

Honest.

[rhys 0]

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[Unimpressed] Honest.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[RonD1120 58]

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I was just reading the bible for something to do while sitting on my hotel room throne.

I wanted to read the noahs ark part as it seemed interesting.

This part got me thinking;

Quote

11 Now the earth was corrupt in God's sight and was full of violence. 12 God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. 13 So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. 14 So make yourself an ark of cypress [c] wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. 15 This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. [d] 16 Make a roof for it and finish [e] the ark to within 18 inches [f] of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks. 17 I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish. 18 But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife and your sons' wives with you. 19 You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you. 20 Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive. 21 You are to take every kind of food that is to be eaten and store it away as food for you and for them."

So, if evolution does not exist, then is Noah officially the first human to discover new zealand? it seems this way as the maori are only believed to have been there for around 1000 years, we have many birds and other creatures that are secific to NZ so he must have passed through on his mission to collect all the creatures great and small.

I really cannot believe how millions of people actually find this plausable?

The leaders of countries even have to pretend they believe it also, to keep the votes rolling in.

As a christian (if you are), do you actually believe this happened?

I am a counselor and minister not an OT scholar. A few years back I partnered with a minister to combat domestic violence. He was a Bible college grad and believed that the different people groups around the world occurred with the spontaneous displacement by God at the Tower of Babel. The flood occurred in Genesis 7 and the latter in Genesis 11.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[Butters 0]

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I wanted to read the noahs ark part as it seemed interesting.

This part got me thinking;

Quote

11 Now the earth was corrupt in God's sight and was full of violence. 12 God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. 13 So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. 14 So make yourself an ark of cypress [c] wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. 15 This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. [d] 16 Make a roof for it and finish [e] the ark to within 18 inches [f] of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks. 17 I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish. 18 But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife and your sons' wives with you. 19 You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you. 20 Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive. 21 You are to take every kind of food that is to be eaten and store it away as food for you and for them."

Does anyone else find it funny that God's answer to all the violence is to ... kill everyone and everything.

"That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch

[unformed 0]

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Doesn't anyone else find it funny that God's answer to all the violence is to ... kill everyone and everything.

Uhh...God has a plan that us mere mortals could never understand.

This ad space for sale.

[virgin-burner 1]

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Doesn't anyone else find it funny that God's answer to all the violence is to ... kill everyone and everything.

Uhh...God has a plan that us mere mortals could never understand.

i really like your avatar.. and find it very offensive, maybe the mods should look into this..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Butters 0]

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Does anyone else find it funny that God's answer to all the violence is to ... kill everyone and everything.

Uhh...God has a plan that us mere mortals could never understand.

It appears that God shares the same sentiment as people like Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, etc...

"That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch

[okalb 78]

If you think about it that must have been one hell of a boat. He needed to build a refridgeration system to keep the polar bears and penguins cold. A heating system to keep the lions warm. We won't even talk about the food he had to get for all the animals to eat with all of the different animal diets. What about the carnivorous creatures? Did he have to bring more than 2 of the animals that the carnivorous animals eat so that he could feed them but still have at least 2 left in the end?

Like most of the bible, this story makes perfect sense

Time flies like an arrow....fruit flies like a banana

[virgin-burner 1]

maybe it was a SPACEship, but due to the missing term at the time, it was "just" a ship!?

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[rehmwa 2]

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Does anyone else find it funny that God's answer to all the violence is to ... kill everyone and everything.

Proof that God designed operating software

gotta problem? - reboot

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[rhys 0]

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He was a Bible college grad and believed that the different people groups around the world occurred with the spontaneous displacement by God at the Tower of Babel. The flood occurred in Genesis 7 and the latter in Genesis 11.

Firsty, what are you talking about?

And secondly, do you believe such a vessel existed and every living creature was captures in pairs and saved while the humans all drowned for being violent assholes?

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[kallend 1,619]

It's all explained in The Log of the Ark:

Written by Kenneth Walker and Geoffrey Boumphrey. It was first published by Constable & Co., London, 1923. It was first published in the U.S.A. by E.P. Dutton & Co., New York , 1926 under the title What Happened in the Ark. One of the many editions was by Puffin Books in 1963.

The book's plot describes the way in which an outcast animal, the scub, infiltrates the ark and introduces certain of the other species to the idea of eating meat. (Until this point, all the animals eat porridge with a dollop of treacle.) This sinister development is described alongside a good deal of slapstick humour. For example the nautically naive Noah initially constructs the ark with all the large animals quartered together for social reasons, only discovering the consequences for its stability when the flood waters surround it.

Like many later fictionalisations of the Noah story, from Gary Larson to Julian Barnes, it introduces mythical beasts such as the unicorn into the Ark's passenger list, a device with obvious dramatic potential: we assume that such creatures are unlikely to survive the voyage. Here, as elsewhere, the comic elements mask tragic ones to good effect. Especially memorable is the plight of the 'Seventy-sevenses', a pair of nondescript and painfully shy mammals who name themselves after the number of their cabin, and who eventually abandon the Ark on a small raft because the atmosphere on board has become too oppressive. There was also an even sadder pair of animals "The Clidders" who melted when it began to rain!

Outwardly this is a de-theologised version of the story: God does not appear, and the purpose of the Flood is not mass drowning. Yet the way the scub creeps into the childish innocence of the Ark and subverts it still points to a narrative patterned by Christian concepts of the Fall. In the final scene, a horrified Noah - who has not yet realised quite what has happened on his ship - watches as the newly released animals chase and fly from one another, awakened to their new identities as hunters and hunted.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[billvon 2,379]

> He was a Bible college grad and believed that the different people groups
>around the world occurred with the spontaneous displacement by God at the
>Tower of Babel. The flood occurred in Genesis 7 and the latter in Genesis 11.

I think such Biblical events are wisely filed under "allegories" rather than "historical facts."

[skydyvr 0]

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> He was a Bible college grad and believed that the different people groups
>around the world occurred with the spontaneous displacement by God at the
>Tower of Babel. The flood occurred in Genesis 7 and the latter in Genesis 11.

I think such Biblical events are wisely filed under "allegories" rather than "historical facts."

Bill, just curious, did you get your style of quoting replies from back in the BBS days?

. . =(_8^(1)

[RonD1120 58]

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> He was a Bible college grad and believed that the different people groups
>around the world occurred with the spontaneous displacement by God at the
>Tower of Babel. The flood occurred in Genesis 7 and the latter in Genesis 11.

I think such Biblical events are wisely filed under "allegories" rather than "historical facts."

Therefore, the original post was spurious and nonsensical.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[Andy9o8 0]

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> He was a Bible college grad and believed that the different people groups
>around the world occurred with the spontaneous displacement by God at the
>Tower of Babel. The flood occurred in Genesis 7 and the latter in Genesis 11.

I think such Biblical events are wisely filed under "allegories" rather than "historical facts."

Therefore, the original post was spurious and nonsensical.

Ron, of course the OP can speak best for himself, but I think he was addressing those who actually believe that biblical accounts are historical facts to be taken as literally as possible. Most devout people I know - of any religion - believe their respective religion's scriptural accounts to be allegorical. But I do know a few who really do believe them to be literally true. So, even with the veiled mocking (which I realize you find disrespectful) aside, the inquiry is not unreasonable, on a purely intellectual level, as directed to that specific target audience.

[RonD1120 58]

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Therefore, the original post was spurious and nonsensical.

Ron, of course the OP can speak best for himself, but I think he was addressing those who actually believe that biblical accounts are historical facts to be taken as literally as possible. Most devout people I know - of any religion - believe their respective religion's scriptural accounts to be allegorical. But I do know a few who really do believe them to be literally true. So, even with the veiled mocking (which I realize you find disrespectful) aside, the inquiry is not unreasonable, on a purely intellectual level, as directed to that specific target audience.

I don't see this thread as disrespectful. Rather, I see it as comic relief. Noah discovering New Zealand, really.

I usually try to respond from a Scriptural perspective, even when joking around. Sometimes I think that folks don't believe that Christians have a sense of humor, in the same vein that liberals don't understand conservative humor.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[riddler 0]

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I think such Biblical events are wisely filed under "allegories" rather than "historical facts."

I doubt you get to Armenia, much. Most people don't. People in Armenia firmly believe that Noah's Ark landed on Mount Ararat, and that they are Noah's descendants.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[rhys 0]

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I don't see this thread as disrespectful. Rather, I see it as comic relief. Noah discovering New Zealand, really.[Laugh]

Why is that such a funny thing to say,for me as an agnostic, it is funny, for you as a christian it should be a thought to ponder.

Your bible says that is how it happened!

I hear talk of the bible being allegorical; if God is so divine, and the bible is the basis of what you believe, why did god beat around the bush with these riddles and tell it how it is?



If god was a bit more straight up, then the name john might be more popular than mohammed, and the missionaries woldn't have such a hard time doing thier jobs in the middle east.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[RonD1120 58]

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Why is that such a funny thing to say,for me as an agnostic, it is funny, for you as a christian it should be a thought to ponder.

Why? I am not held accountable to agnostics. At this stage of my life, there are only a few things left for me to take seriously or to ponder. I intend to laugh at as much as I sense that is humanly and personally possible.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[rhys 0]

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Why? I am not held accountable to agnostics. At this stage of my life, there are only a few things left for me to take seriously or to ponder. I intend to laugh at as much as I sense that is humanly and personally possible.

Why, because you base your life on and accept that the definition of the origin of life and all existence is, what others (with very high educations in alot of cases) would consider complete garbage.

Do you not wonder why there are such discrepancies between the teachings of the bible and the reality of existance?

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[turtlespeed 212]

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Why? I am not held accountable to agnostics. At this stage of my life, there are only a few things left for me to take seriously or to ponder. I intend to laugh at as much as I sense that is humanly and personally possible.

Why, because you base your life on and accept that the definition of the origin of life and all existence is, what others (with very high educations in alot of cases) would consider complete garbage.

Do you not wonder why there are such discrepancies between the teachings of the bible and the reality of existance?

Reality is subjective to your beliefs.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[maadmax 0]

Why, because you base your life on and accept that the definition of the origin of life and all existence is, what others (with very high educations in alot of cases) would consider complete garbage.

Do you not wonder why there are such discrepancies between the teachings of the bible and the reality of existance?

[RonD1120 58]

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Do you not wonder why there are such discrepancies between the teachings of the bible and the reality of existance?

Nope, I do not wonder at all. I understand completely why you fail to believe. You cannot understand why I do believe. Therefore, the ball is on your side of the net. I am amused at your attempt to play it. Your style is humorous. Noah in NZ, that's wild.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.