ChickenSandwich 0 #1 January 10, 2009 I ask this because, as a gay man, I have always felt welcome but I've not felt a part of the family. Perhaps this is from my own experiences in life and I'm bringing them with me, or it's from my own experiences in life and I'm seeing them once again. I've never been targeted personally, but then again I've always had to tolerate gay jokes around the fire at night. I never spoke up because, growing up in the 70s, you learn not to show your hand. My guess is that with the exception of very, very few people in this sport, nobody would guess that I'm gay. In my low-numbers experience, I've jumped at 6 dropzones in 3 states on both east and west coast. I have had the opportunity to meet people from all over the world. Yet this attitude that jokes can be made at the expense of gays is prevalent at all of them. One thing that I am very happy to see is that the upcoming generation is, overall, so much more tolerant of alternative lifestyles than the past generations have ever been. They could care less if you are gay or straight. It's all about the person. But that being said, as a gay man why should I continue to surround myself with people that think that my life is a joke? Seriously, if I were to out myself at your dropzone, would you automatically not want to jump in the same plane I was in? Perhaps I picked the wrong sport. And that makes me really sad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #2 January 10, 2009 I think you're probably bringing a lot of your own baggage to the table-that and we, as a group, tend to skewer the sacred cows. At a DZ, you'll probably hear a gay joke-especially if everyone knows you're gay. I never go to a DZ without hearing fat jokes. I crack on Billy with deaf jokes-but I make sure he's facing me. Everything can be funny if you don't take yourself too seriously. It may sound harsh, but it's a warped type of inclusion that you get with this raggamuffin band. There are always exceptions to the rule, but generally, we use humor-even caustic humor-as a way to bridge our differences. In reality, for the most part, we don't care if you blow a goat at midnight while dancing with a dead cat around your neck as long as you don't hook through a crowded landing pattern.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #3 January 10, 2009 Quote Seriously, if I were to out myself at your dropzone, would you automatically not want to jump in the same plane I was in? I hope you've never seen that ... and that you never do. I'm straight, so I can't say how it feels to be gay in this sport, but I definitely see what you see with respect to jokes and bonfire antics. I suspect that this isn't atypical behavior for any (presumably straight) male-dominated arena, and the "anything goes/non PC" atmosphere of most dropzones allows it to take place. As a woman, I put up with (and dish out) a lot more politically incorrect b.s. at the dropzone than would be appropriate in most other settings of my life. I find a sense of humor and an ability to "give as good as you get" can go a long way in this sport. I have gay friends both in and outside of skydiving, as someone's sexuality has never been an issue for me - if I enjoy spending time with them, whether they are gay or straight doesn't matter (unless I want to date them, in which case it becomes a bit more relevant. ) I suspect ultimately you'll find skydiving not that different from everywhere else in the world - there will be people who will hate you for who you are, and there will be people who don't care, and there will be people who embrace you."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maxmadmax 8 #4 January 10, 2009 You are very well posticulated. I concur! Ciao MoFo's, Mad Max Don't go away mad....just go away! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maxmadmax 8 #5 January 10, 2009 "I suspect ultimately you'll find skydiving not that different from everywhere else in the world - there will be people who will hate you for who you are, and there will be people who don't care, and there will be people who embrace you. " Very well posticulated! I am in concurrent agreement! Ciao, Mad Max Don't go away mad....just go away! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenSandwich 0 #6 January 10, 2009 thanks but, like i said . there are very few people in this sport who know i'm gay. they don't make gay jokes and they don't tolerate them, either. i'm talking about the general 'around the fire' bullshit. gays get thrown under the bus constantly. women don't because there are women skydivers. jews don't because there are jewish skydivers. but for whatever reason, it's still ok to to throw gays under the bus, even though there are gay skydivers. is this community really that exclusive? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #7 January 10, 2009 Quote women don't because there are women skydivers. Hang around more. We get thrown under the bus plenty. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #8 January 10, 2009 Quotethanks but, like i said . there are very few people in this sport who know i'm gay. they don't make gay jokes and they don't tolerate them, either. possibly, because as your friends, they are sensitive to how you feel about it. I promise you that should we meet, you're less than 5 minutes away from a horrible fellatio joke. Then we can make a jump together, because with my hyper fall rate, i need somebody that will go down fast.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #9 January 10, 2009 Quote Hang around more. We get thrown under the bus plenty. You wouldn't hear the jokes if you were in the kitchen rattling those pots and pans like you ought to be.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyjumpsteve 0 #10 January 10, 2009 I think if you outed yourself at the dropzone you would find other gay people and you would be able to be more open around others and not worried if they would "find out". This would lead to closer relationships and more of a feeling of being "part of the family". Fuck the few people who would not jump with you if you came out to them. I think skydivers are in general very tolerant of people from a variety of backgrounds and only really care that you are a jumper too. Sure, there are a lot of jokes as there are jokes about tons of other things as well......I would just ignore them and if people knew about you, you would probably hear a lot less of them because people would find a lot of other things to joke about around the fire at night. You didn't pick the wrong sport. It is the best sport to meet people, travel, and become part of a unique worldwide brotherhood. Perhaps there will be another Rainbow Boogie (held 2 years ago in Montreal) in the future and you can meet some other queers (I say that in a nice way ) I have met 50+ gay skydivers (many on dz.com).....so believe me you are not alone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #11 January 10, 2009 Quote Quote Hang around more. We get thrown under the bus plenty. You wouldn't hear the jokes if you were in the kitchen rattling those pots and pans like you ought to be. I don't need to rattle pots and pans to get you beer and a sammich. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenSandwich 0 #12 January 10, 2009 Quote Quote women don't because there are women skydivers. Hang around more. We get thrown under the bus plenty. You know darlin, I hear you. But at least you didn't have to put up with comments about how you and your ilk should be killed. :cheers: I guess. On edit: Here's how it sits with me. I'll jump with you Friday afternoon and have a blast and then at the end of the day, go and grab a beer and sit around the fire with you. 20 minutes later, you're telling gay jokes and saying shit like you think all gays should be bashed. The next morning, you're asking me to do a gear check. Think about it. 2nd edit: NWFlyer, this rant wasn't aimed at you. Sorry for the way it sounded. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
keithbar 1 #13 January 10, 2009 o.k. fucking women they should all be killed. feel better now? i have on occasion been accused of pulling low . My response. Naw I wasn't low I'm just such a big guy I look closer than I really am . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #14 January 10, 2009 There is no need to "out" yourself. It's not like you need to announce you have TB for the sake of the rest of the people in the plane. Be yourself. If the subject comes up, it comes up. When someone asks you, "do you think that chick is hot?" Be honest. "I'm not into women. I'm gay." Doesn't matter if it's the skydiving community or not. You have those that accept it and those who don't. Everywhere. I'm openly bi-sexual. And definitely not afraid to admit it. And I really don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenSandwich 0 #15 January 10, 2009 Quote o.k. fucking women they should all be killed. feel better now? Sure. American women are great for sport-fucking but make terrible wives. Do you feel better now? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #16 January 10, 2009 Holy fuck-you stole my Max Approval-it's just cuz you have boobs. If I ever meet you, I'm gonna stick out my tongue and make mean faces. So thereYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenSandwich 0 #17 January 10, 2009 Quote There is no need to "out" yourself. It's not like you need to announce you have TB for the sake of the rest of the people in the plane. Be yourself. If the subject comes up, it comes up. When someone asks you, "do you think that chick is hot?" Be honest. "I'm not into women. I'm gay." Doesn't matter if it's the skydiving community or not. You have those that accept it and those who don't. Everywhere. I'm openly bi-sexual. And definitely not afraid to admit it. And I really don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. Lisa, I love you and truly appreciate you. But (I'm sorry to say this) lesbian and bisexual women get a pass in society. Woman-on-woman sex is (most every) heterosexual man's fantasy. But man-on-man sex? You've got to be kidding me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #18 January 10, 2009 are you serious dude??? people make jokes about everything and everybody under the sun.. unless you're some uptight douche, I would jump with you. you could even take a dock on my cock if that's what floats your boat. if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
keithbar 1 #19 January 10, 2009 . you could even take a dock on my cock if that's what floats your boat. now THAT! is putting a lot of faith in the flying ability of a guy with 62 jumps. i have on occasion been accused of pulling low . My response. Naw I wasn't low I'm just such a big guy I look closer than I really am . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenSandwich 0 #20 January 10, 2009 Quote . you could even take a dock on my cock if that's what floats your boat. now THAT! is putting a lot of faith in the flying ability of a guy with 62 jumps. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #21 January 10, 2009 I watch it. Seriously. If people can't accept you for who you are, then stay away from them. You are defined by your person, not your sexuality. If someone doesn't want to jump with you because of it. That is their issue, not yours. Be yourself!! Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #22 January 10, 2009 Quoteyou could even take a dock on my cock Talk about a test of freefall accuracyYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #23 January 10, 2009 Quote are you serious dude??? people make jokes about everything and everybody under the sun.. unless you're some uptight douche, I would jump with you. you could even take a dock on my cock if that's what floats your boat. I knew there was something I loved about you. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,555 #24 January 10, 2009 Hate to tell you this Lisa, but your avatar is broken: There is no cow in it. "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #25 January 10, 2009 oh snap!!!! well unless it's really cold outside it's more or less like a gripper if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites