Anti-spanking letter

[freeflybella 0]

This letter was written by a family to their Pastor after hearing a sermon that included a message endorsing spanking as a means of discipllne. I think it's amazing. Although I'm not Christian, I found it powerful. I also happen to be in the anti-spanking camp. Just thought I'd share a well-thought out and articulate argument.

Dear Pastor,

We are so grateful for all of the ways that you have helped us to connect in a closer way with God. This of course has had a profound influence on our parenting. Yet, in light of a recent sermon, we would like to present to you an alternative Christian view on disciplining children. Christians, of course, are probably the strongest proponents of spanking in the US. It is, so they say, their God given right---it's what the Bible teaches. That is exactly the point of contention and what we hope to humbly disprove.

Let's take the Old Testament. Some (our more literal-interpreting brothers) would say that it covers a period of about 4000-10,000 years; others (our more moderate and liberal brothers), anywhere between 10,000 to millions and millions of years. Irrespective of which view you hold, it has to be astounding that there is not one example of spanking in the whole Old Testament. This is especially impressive when you consider the large percentage of OT books which are more narrative than didactic. We might also add that there is no example of spanking in the New Testament, even though the time period is significantly shorter (around 100 years) and the majority of the books are didactic and not narrative. Now certainly there are some didactic passages in both Testaments that can be construed as being pro-spanking, however, they can be interpreted in a different light with sound exegesis.

Strange, isn’t it, for a teaching that is so adamantly held by so many believers that it is not illustrated once in either Testament. But, even if no narrative biblical passage illustrates spanking, if it is plainly and consistently taught in didactic passages, then we must accept it as God ordained. In the Old Testament the only passages that can be construed as being pro-spanking are found in only one book: Proverbs. A good hermeneutical principal is to not build doctrine on poetic passages. The wisdom books are full of symbolism and hyperbole and are often a stumbling block to the more literal interpreting readers. The “rod” in these Proverbs passages that so many see as a license to spank is symbolic. This Hebrew word is often translated as shepherd’s “staff/rod” or king’s “scepter”. So, if we were to be more literal, a closer translation would be bat and not twig! But that is not the author’s intent. This “rod” is a symbol of authority and guidance, like a shepherd guiding his sheep or a king governing his people. This is why the Psalmist could joyfully exclaim: “thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4). We do not wish to pass over this lightly, because these verses are the foundation of the Christian pro-spanking argument. However, to avoid repetition, we ask that you read the following links www.gracefulparenting.blogspot.com and www.aolff.org for a detailed analysis of these passages.

It is somewhat puzzling that the people who insist that spanking is Old Testament mandated claim the passages from a poetic book, yet dismiss clear instructions from a didactic passage in the Torah to stone rebellious children (Deut. 21:18-21). Why the inconsistency? You claim that one passage is obviously morally wrong. We submit that both are morally wrong, especially in light of the culmination of God’s progressive revelation---Jesus Christ, who taught us, among other things, that unless we “become like little children” we can never enter the kingdom of heaven (Mt. 18:3. See also Mt. 19:14). Implication: children are more in tune with God than adults. Which raises the question: should the unrighteous be punishing the righteous?

While the Old Testament is of great value, we recognize that no longer being under the Law changes how we apply some of the OT Scriptures to our daily lives. So even if spanking is Old Testament taught that doesn’t mean it is New Testament endorsed. Throughout the New Testament the one passage used to support spanking is Hebrews 12:4-6. Going back to the original language there, however, also changes the meaning to the importance of discipline and authority in shaping a child, not physical punishment. God certainly disciplines us but He doesn’t physically hit us when he does. Read the text. Proper exegesis shows that the pro-spanking people simply choose to read into this passage the very point they need to prove.

So, if there are no passages in either Testament that truly encourage spanking, then we must evaluate discipline according to other principles that the Bible teaches clearly. Jesus teaches us that we have two goals: to love God with all that we are, and to treat others the way we would like to be treated. Nowhere does He imply that His words do not apply to how we treat children. In fact, His interactions with children showed a special effort to value them and their feelings. He also tells us that whatever we do to the least of these we are doing to Him. Can you honestly say that you would want someone to hit you? I can't. I can say truthfully that I would want loving correction and instruction if I were doing something wrong, but being hit/spanked/popped/smacked would not be a part of it.

Jesus’ example was that the one in authority had an even greater responsibility to act in love than the one under authority. We are to demonstrate the Fruit of the Spirit. Yet how is hitting a child compatible with the peace, patience, kindness and gentleness in which we are called to walk? The Bible is very specific about how we should deal with sin in others: We are taught that in correcting those who disobey to do so gently (Gal. 6:1). Parents are specifically cautioned to not cause their children to lose heart (Eph. 6:4). Having the people you love most in the world deliberately hurt you is pretty disheartening, regardless of any lofty motives they may claim.

The Bible is clear that parents have a responsibility to discipline their children. But discipline and spanking are not the same thing. Discipline is about making disciples, or teaching. It is difficult for children to focus on a life-lesson, though, if they are distracted by the anger, hurt, fear, humiliation and resentment that result from being hit. As career teachers, our professional education classes and our years of experience with students of many ages have convinced us that the research is correct in showing that people learn more effectively through positive reinforcement than from punishment (negative reinforcement). You have seen this in the family of (name removed), whose children are delightful to be around. They do not spank, but instead practice gentle discipline.

Another important point is that most of us are able to learn best from example--that is why Paul wrote to be imitators of him as beloved children. Kids are expert mimics. Too many children in our nation are learning that the way to respond to an offense is to hurt the offender. “Turning the other cheek” is not supposed to mean baring a child’s bottom. We recognize that in other relationships of authority (employer/employee, police officer/civilian, pastor/church member, husband/wife) that physical punishment is inappropriate, even when correction is needed. Children are even more vulnerable—surely we can find better ways to correct them, as well.

When Christians teach spanking, the majority has several cute euphemisms to describe it and a list of guidelines as to how, when, and with what. There is absolutely no Biblical basis for any of them—they are essentially cultural. Whether you call it spanking, popping, smacking or hitting, they all mean to strike a child in order to produce pain and fear. Why do we feel the need to create so many guidelines: spank only on the bottom or legs, only X number of times, only with your hand/a switch/a paddle/PVC pipe (Michael and Debi Pearl, some of the most popular writers on spanking in Christian circles, advocate plastic plumbing pipe!). Is spanking on the bottom any better than the Waorani practice of slapping their children in the face with stinging nettles? Why, if neither results in permanent injury? If God didn’t impose a limit on the number of times we strike a child, who is to say that 9 times is worse than 2? While not spanking in anger is at least more likely to avoid a total loss of control and avert serious physical injury, watching the person you love and trust more than any other calmly and deliberately choose to hurt you is a chilling experience.

I would submit that the reason behind the euphemisms and rules that Christians create is that our conscience is condemning us. We are aware on some level that hurting those who are smaller and weaker goes against the nature of Christ, and feel a need to justify and minimize what we are actually doing.

Another issue with spanking is that as the child grows, the spankings must get harder and longer in order to produce the same level of pain and fear. When do they eventually start to cross the line into abuse? Of course, most parents stop spanking once the child begins to approach them in size and maturity. We agree that then it is more appropriate to use the Biblical admonition, “Come now, let us reason together…”. If the child is old enough to reason, spanking is unnecessary. If the child is too young to reason, then the child is too young to effectively understand what the parents are trying to teach, and the spanking is both cruel and pointless.

The false dichotomy that always pops up is that if parents don’t spank, they are not disciplining their children. That suggests that parents are relying on spanking as their main or only form of discipline. Permissive, lazy parenting is neglect. The responsibility given to parents is a great, even fearsome one. By choosing not to spank, we have gained deeper insight into our children’s hearts. It has challenged us to deal with anger and pride, and earnestly seek God’s wisdom, patience and love. Proactive parenting is more “work” than spanking, but already the rewards have been great.

There are so many alternative ways to discipline that result in harmony and renewed connection between the parent and child. Teaching a child to do right is much more effective than executing judgment for doing wrong. When we as parents obey our directive to treat others as we want to be treated, it causes us to get behind the eyes of the child and deal with the root of the problem rather than just suppressing an outward behavior. It is amazing to see a cycle of irritability and frustration break when the parent chooses to discipline by restoring relationship. Many parents assume a time-out is the default choice if parents don’t spank. However, often what children need is more time WITH the parents to reconnect, reassure and restore. Without turning an already lengthy letter into a book, if you are interested in other approaches, we would be happy to explain how we handle specific situations or direct you to sources that we have found beneficial.

The plan behind redemption is clear. God wants to reconnect with us. All of the history of the Law shows that merely punishing sin doesn't change the heart. What changes the hearts of our children is relationship. Obedience grows out of love and trust rather than a self-centered desire to avoid punishment. If children obey simply out of fear of being spanked, their motivation isn’t righteous, but only self-centered.

As a child of God, my choice for obedience isn't based on a fear of punishment. It isn't a get-out-of-hell-free card for me. It is because I love Him and have learned to trust Him. My children are learning to obey for the same reasons. If my children do wrong and repent, for me to go ahead and hit them seems very inconsistent with the way that God has forgiven my mistakes. I have a responsibility to show the same grace toward my kids that I have received. It is God's kindness that leads us to repentance, not His wrath.

We have chosen to look at this from a Christian perspective, but we find it interesting that the research is overwhelmingly against spanking. The American Academy of Pediatrics, like many other professional organizations involving children and health, has issued a statement against corporal punishment on the grounds that it is not nearly as effective as positive reinforcement and that it can be harmful physically and emotionally. In fact, there are some indications that spanking is associated with increased delinquent and antisocial behavior, increased risk of child abuse and spousal abuse, increased risk of child and adult aggression, decreased child mental health and decreased adult mental health. Consider this in the light of Jesus’ warning against causing little ones to stumble.

Sometimes it is difficult to discern what the Bible teaches on specific issues. You have often used the illustration of God playing hide and seek in order to encourage us to dig deeper and seek Him with all of our hearts. On the topic of spanking, He has given us glimpses of His heart--the parable of the unmerciful servant (Mt. 18:21-35), I John 4, James 2:13. None of these suggest ignoring or excusing sin, but they all teach us to be humble and loving as we show others, regardless of their age, a better way.

In closing, we chose to write this to you because of our respect for you. We know that you are someone who has the courage to look beyond the easy, superficial answers and the integrity to hold convictions that may not be popular. Believe us, in Christian circles not spanking is tantamount to heresy, but it is a very worthy cause. We humbly suggest that spanking is just another religiously transmitted disease. We love you and your family and are grateful that God has placed us under your spiritual leadership. May God bless you and your family.

{names deleted}

The following list includes just some of the organizations that have issued a statement against spanking in the home:

* American Academy of Pediatrics
* American Humane Association
* American Orthopsychiatric Association
* Association for Childhood Education International
* California Medical Association
* Early Childhood Association of Florida
* Family Service of Milwaukee
* International Child Art Foundation
* National Association of Social Workers
* National Foster Parent Association
* Parents Anonymous
* Society for Adolescent Medicine
* United Methodist Church
* Wisconsin Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Board

Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi

[bodypilot90 0]

say what you want most kids need a good old spanking every now and then. Never hurt me and never truly hurt anyone I know. This is not abuse, it is tool, done right it works. The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

[Shotgun 1]

Quote

The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Sorry, but that's just BS.

[guppie01 0]

Quote

Quote

The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Sorry, but that's just BS.

With ya there Keeley!

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[skymama 35]

Quote

say what you want most kids need a good old spanking every now and then. Never hurt me and never truly hurt anyone I know. This is not abuse, it is tool, done right it works. The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Spankings are a sign of lazy parenting.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Nightingale 0]

Quote

Quote

say what you want most kids need a good old spanking every now and then. Never hurt me and never truly hurt anyone I know. This is not abuse, it is tool, done right it works. The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Spankings are a sign of lazy parenting.

I'm not a parent, but I agree. Whenever I got spanked as a child, it damaged the trust I had in my parents, and took weeks for things to feel right again. However, I preferred that to my mom saying "I'm very disappointed in you!"... that was a hundred times worse than a spanking.

[Conundrum 1]

Quote

Quote

Quote

say what you want most kids need a good old spanking every now and then. Never hurt me and never truly hurt anyone I know. This is not abuse, it is tool, done right it works. The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Spankings are a sign of lazy parenting.

I'm not a parent, but I agree. Whenever I got spanked as a child, it damaged the trust I had in my parents, and took weeks for things to feel right again. However, I preferred that to my mom saying "I'm very disappointed in you!"... that was a hundred times worse than a spanking.

When I was spanked as a kid, I learned not to do whatever it was I was doing that caused me to get spanked. I'd say it's pretty effective. Keep in mind I'm talking about a swift swat on the butt, not a backhand to the face or any other type of physical abuse.

It took "weeks" for things to feel right again? Were you being beat with a belt?

[mnealtx 0]

Quote

Quote

say what you want most kids need a good old spanking every now and then. Never hurt me and never truly hurt anyone I know. This is not abuse, it is tool, done right it works. The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Spankings are a sign of lazy parenting.

I can see where you are coming from with the post, but I don't necessarily agree - some kids respond to lectures and some don't. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating a swat on the behind for any/every infraction, but sometimes, for SOME kids, it IS necessary.

Saying that "no kid should be spanked" is a ridiculous as saying "every kid should be spanked", IMO. It's all dependent on what discipline is effective for THAT child.

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[mamajumps 0]

Quote

say what you want most kids need a good old spanking every now and then. Never hurt me and never truly hurt anyone I know. This is not abuse, it is tool, done right it works. The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

I agree 200%
There is a difference between discipline & abuse. Kids today are lacking discipline... it can be be proven too.. Look at crime stats amongst teens now compared to 20 years ago... the difference... parents were not afraid to discipline their kids then...

[guppie01 0]

Think of obedience training with a dog - would a trainer recommend spanking / or using a paddle on a dog to get a desired reaction.... most likely not. I would like to think humans are much more intelligent than dogs and just as easy to train minus physical punishment....

In my opinion spanking / or a form of physical punishment does not foster a relationship based on respect, it fosters fear and domination.

but.... that's just my .02

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[mnealtx 0]

Quote

Think of obedience training with a dog - would a trainer recommend spanking / or using a paddle on a dog to get a desired reaction.... most likely not. I would like to think humans are much more intelligent than dogs and just as easily trainable minus physical punishment....

In my opinion spanking / or a form of physical punishment does not foster a relationship based on respect, it fosters fear and domination.

but.... that's just my .02

g

People can reason - dogs cannot. My kids got lectured. They also got a swat on the behind every now and then. My oldest said there were times she'd thought about asking for the swat on the butt to get out of the lecture!

As I said above, I can understand the 'anti-spanking' point, and I realize that for some kids, it works fine. The converse of that point is that it *doesn't* work for some kids.

There's no one answer that is right for EVERYONE.

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[nerdgirl 0]

Quote

The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Is that your subjective, personal opinion, which may be fine for you? Or do you have some evidence to support that all-encompassing, definitive assertion? ... because all that's needed to prove false is one "screwed up kid" who was spanked. Remember the plural of anecdote is not data.

Quote

Look at crime stats amongst teens now compared to 20 years ago... the difference... parents were not afraid to discipline their kids then...

Actually crime rates among young adults have decreased in the US since the 1990s. And the causal factor had nothing to with presence or absence of spankings/corporal punishment. See primary data & popular press accounts here. The decrease has been linked -- positively correlated significantly -- to decline in use of lead in gasoline, paint, etc when young adults were in utero, infants, and toddlers.


Makes me wonder what “truths” I accept currently that will be found untruth-worthy in the future?

VR/Marg

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying

[Nightingale 0]

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote

say what you want most kids need a good old spanking every now and then. Never hurt me and never truly hurt anyone I know. This is not abuse, it is tool, done right it works. The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Spankings are a sign of lazy parenting.

I'm not a parent, but I agree. Whenever I got spanked as a child, it damaged the trust I had in my parents, and took weeks for things to feel right again. However, I preferred that to my mom saying "I'm very disappointed in you!"... that was a hundred times worse than a spanking.

When I was spanked as a kid, I learned not to do whatever it was I was doing that caused me to get spanked. I'd say it's pretty effective. ...

I just learned not to get caught next time. If mom said she was disappointed and took the time to tell me why, that's when I learned the lesson she wanted me to.

[vskydiver 0]

Quote

Think of obedience training with a dog - would a trainer recommend spanking / or using a paddle on a dog to get a desired reaction.... most likely not.
but.... that's just my .02

g

Um, don't they use electric shock collars to train dogs?

[crashtested 0]

I put a electric collar on one of those on my kids, did them the world of good, minus the nervous tick they now have when they do somthing wrong.

Getting a slap on the butt has nothing to do with relegion or anything, it is a means of disapline for a young person who's brain is developing, And still can not understand the difference of right and wrong, If you can explain to your kid why it was wrong and they don't need extra punishment and never do it again than well done, but not all kids are like that, they play up, they will push you to see how much they can get away with, spanking should be a last resort, but still part f the parental armory.

The point of it not being mentioned in the old testement, is a bit farcical, sex and marrige with 8-12 years old is also not mentioned in the bible but was common, does that make it wrong or right??

I was caned at school, which taught you many things and temporay resentmant, but made me stronger as a person and never did me any harm.

[mamajumps 0]

Quote

Quote

Think of obedience training with a dog - would a trainer recommend spanking / or using a paddle on a dog to get a desired reaction.... most likely not. I would like to think humans are much more intelligent than dogs and just as easily trainable minus physical punishment....

In my opinion spanking / or a form of physical punishment does not foster a relationship based on respect, it fosters fear and domination.

but.... that's just my .02

g

People can reason - dogs cannot. My kids got lectured. They also got a swat on the behind every now and then. My oldest said there were times she'd thought about asking for the swat on the butt to get out of the lecture!

As I said above, I can understand the 'anti-spanking' point, and I realize that for some kids, it works fine. The converse of that point is that it *doesn't* work for some kids.

There's no one answer that is right for EVERYONE.

Nearly everyday in 7th grade my bestfriend & I were called down to the office for licks for something we had done the day before. As a kid I would much rather take a spanking than a lecture or ISS or Saturday school or anythng else from parents or school officials. It was quick, only stung for a sec or two and it was over....

[mamajumps 0]

Quote

Quote

The most screwed up kids are the ones that never got one.

Is that your subjective, personal opinion, which may be fine for you? Or do you have some evidence to support that all-encompassing, definitive assertion? ... because all that's needed to prove false is one "screwed up kid" who was spanked. Remember the plural of anecdote is not data.

Quote

Look at crime stats amongst teens now compared to 20 years ago... the difference... parents were not afraid to discipline their kids then...

Actually crime rates among young adults have decreased in the US since the 1990s. And the causal factor had nothing to with presence or absence of spankings/corporal punishment. See primary data & popular press accounts here. The decrease has been linked -- positively correlated significantly -- to decline in use of lead in gasoline, paint, etc when young adults were in utero, infants, and toddlers.


Makes me wonder what “truths” I accept currently that will be found untruth-worthy in the future?

VR/Marg

So if it in your opinion isnt the lack of discipline, then what has turned out nearly an entire generation of kids who think they are "victims" and think we owe them everything and that dont have to respect anyone or work to get it? Wasnt like that in the past generations, where kids were taught to respect people and got there butts warmed up for breaking rules....

[NtheSeaOrSky 0]

Quote

Quote

Think of obedience training with a dog - would a trainer recommend spanking / or using a paddle on a dog to get a desired reaction.... most likely not.
but.... that's just my .02

g

Um, don't they use electric shock collars to train dogs?

The trainers who take short cuts do...some do amazing training with just their voice/praise or a clicker.

Life is not fair and there are no guarantees...

[nerdgirl 0]

Quote

Quote

Look at crime stats amongst teens now compared to 20 years ago... the difference... parents were not afraid to discipline their kids then...

Actually crime rates among young adults have decreased in the US since the 1990s. And the causal factor had nothing to with presence or absence of spankings/corporal punishment. See primary data & popular press accounts here. The decrease has been linked -- positively correlated significantly -- to decline in use of lead in gasoline, paint, etc when young adults were in utero, infants, and toddlers.

So if it in your opinion isnt the lack of discipline, then what has turned out nearly an entire generation of kids who think they are "victims" and think we owe them everything and that dont have to respect anyone or work to get it? Wasnt like that in the past generations, where kids were taught to respect people and got there butts warmed up for breaking rules....

[Thanatos340 1]

No need to discipline your children at all. Nothing a little more Ridlin, Prozac or Xanax wont fix.

Seriously, I think the lack of Discipline and Parental Guidance for children today is one the biggest problems we have. I agree that after a certain age, Corporal Punishment has limited benefit but parents trying to negotiate with their children or trying to cuddle their children into behaving is asinine.

It seems every time I go out to a restaurant or shopping mall there kids that their parents just let run wild. These kids are Screaming, Misbehaving and generally have a complete lack of respect for their parents or anyone else for that matter.

Children need guidance and some discipline. That discipline does not have to be corporal punishment but they MUST be shown where the lines are and taught to behave.

If you talk to most well adjusted, normal successful people and ask them if their parents would have spanked them as a child when necessary, the answers would be an overwhelming yes. The same question to people with emotional and behavioral problems and you will usually find that they came from a single parent household where their parent tried to cuddle them into behaving.

Children will by nature always explore their boundaries. Removing any possible confusion for the child as to where those boundaries are is every parent’s responsibility. For small children a firm swat on the bottom when needed does just that. That is not lazy parenting, It is effective Parenting.

[Shotgun 1]

Quote

Nearly everyday in 7th grade my bestfriend & I were called down to the office for licks for something we had done the day before. As a kid I would much rather take a spanking than a lecture or ISS or Saturday school or anythng else from parents or school officials. It was quick, only stung for a sec or two and it was over....

If you were misbehaving and called down to the office for licks "nearly every day", it doesn't sound like the spankings were very effective. It sounds like the "lecture or ISS or Saturday school" would have been more effective since you didn't mind the spankings as much.

[NtheSeaOrSky 0]

Quote

Children need guidance and some discipline. That discipline does not have to be corporal punishment but they MUST be shown where the lines are and taught to behave.

I am not a parent, and this is obviously an emotionally charged issue between them, but I agree with this wholeheartedly.

I think the area where it gets muddled is in the 'being taught how to behave' because that inherently is subjective to the parent's ideas of what acceptable behavior is.

Life is not fair and there are no guarantees...

[Shotgun 1]

Quote

Children need guidance and some discipline. That discipline does not have to be corporal punishment but they MUST be shown where the lines are and taught to behave.

Absolutely.

Quote

If you talk to most well adjusted, normal successful people and ask them if their parents would have spanked them as a child when necessary, the answers would be an overwhelming yes.

Probably so. And if you talk to most juvenile delinquents, drug addicts, rapists, serial killers, etc., and ask them if they were spanked as a child, the answers would be an overwhelming yes. Basically, (non-abusive) spanking or lack of spanking has little to do with how the child turns out as an adult; it is the general manner in which parents treat their child that has much more effect.

[mamajumps 0]

I didnt fear nor was I intimidated by my parents, I am however an upstanding member of society who knows how to respect people, especially my elders and I understand that if I want something I must work for it... you dont see that quality in kids now days...

[Thanatos340 1]

Quote

Probably so. And if you talk to most juvenile delinquents, drug addicts, rapists, serial killers, etc., and ask them if they were spanked as a child, the answers would be on overwhelming yes. Basically, (non-abusive) spanking or lack of spanking has little to do with how the child turns out as an adult; it is the general manner in which parents treat their child that has much more effect.

Agreed. It all boils down to if the parents "Laid Down the Law" when necessary. Just grabbing a belt and expecting that fix every problem is NOT the solution. Parenting is much more complex than that.

I do strongly believe that corporal Punishment has a place in a Parents arsenal. It is most effective when used very sparingly and as a last resort.

Firm strong action when a child is out of line is absolutely necessary. Much can be done with Tone of Voice even for a small child. (Tone, Not Volume. I do not believe that Screaming or Yelling at a Child is ever called for. It simply shows the child that you as a parent have lost control of the situation.)

It is not the Spanking or Lack of Spanking that has the effect on how the child turns out, It is whether or not the parent took the time to let the child know where the boundaries were and that there were Consequences for crossing those boundaries. Spanking a child when absolutely nessacary (Tone, Time out and other methods have failed) is an effective way to do just that.