Non-competitive activities for children.

[shropshire 0]

I've seen so many parents (seemingly living through their kids)... forcing them to get back into a game or (one that sticks in my mind) a sailing dingy, when the kid just didn't want to they'd had enough for the day.. thet's just plain wrong in my book.

Encourage, guide and praise.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[wmw999 2,116]

Yup. Too much of either is bad. I like both competition and non-competition. So did my son when he was little.

But soem parents live through their children's competition, and encourage their kids to hang their self-esteem on whether they won or lost. That's not so good.

With good parenting, competition is good. With bad parenting, it might be better to have less competition and more cooperation.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Zenister 0]

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We are all imperfect and will fail from time to time. It is the fear of subjecting the kids to failure.

failure is how you ultimately improve..

if you never fail you are not trying hard enough in the first.

'stress' (and competition) is what creates strength.

History clearly illustrates what happens to cultures that lacked the stress of a competitor, when they suddenly 'found one'(or more often one found them). It isnt any different for individuals.

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[ExAFO 0]

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We are all imperfect and will fail from time to time. It is the fear of subjecting the kids to failure.

failure is how you ultimately improve..

if you never fail you are not trying hard enough in the first.

'stress' (and competition) is what creates strength.

Heh. That's what my DE said when I passed my 2nd checkride.

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[SpeedRacer 1]

yep. too much coercion in either direction is not good.

competitive sports should not be banned, but non-competitive activities shouldn't be shunned as being "wimpier" either.

for example, when I was in high school we were allowed to select from about 5 different packages of activities for the school year. I went with the one that all the hippy-types chose: and yes it did contain a lot of non-competitive type activities.

But let's look at what they were: Cross-country skiing, canoeing, rock climbing.. Also ultimate frisbee (ok, a competitive team sport) but anyway, it's still all challenging, fun, and good exercise!

Speed Racer
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[Nightingale 0]

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The reason it is being done is because too many believe that it detrimentally affect the self-esteem of kids if they get defeated. A kid may have his or her feelings hurt by a loss.
...

When I was 14, I got my ass handed to me by a purple belt in my first karate tournament. I didn't like it, but I didn't cry about it. Having just learned that I didn't like what it felt like to lose, and figuring that winning took more effort than I'd been putting in, I got back into the studio, worked my tail off, kicked her ass the next time around, and won the majority of tournaments I competed in over the next decade, and managed to use the skills I learned to save my life. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really glad I lost that fight. Loosing can be good for you.

[jm951 0]

Ok for what it's worth, here's some $.02 from an old guy.

I think there is a place for both types of activities. The key is not to force a child to compete nor discourage a child from the non-compete. Through their school years, my sons competed in sports because they wanted to. I grew up playing soccer. loved the game and still do. My sons both preferred track, Xcountry, and swimming. My daughter ran XCountry for a while, but preferred band. (Think that isn't competitive, try going to band competitions.) It really boils down to encouraging the child in whatever they're doing to be the best that they possibly can. That's the real lesson to be learned from either path and the secondary one is don't go overboard either way.

I referee soccer, kids and adult, low, mid and high level and also high school. At almost every kid's match (8-18yrs) I see some parent living out a vicarious existence through their kid's performance on the pitch. At some high level matches, parents even carry around resumes with DVD of their kid's "career" to hand out to potential college coaches who might be at the game. It's almost comical just how "involved" some of these folks are. At that point, soccer isn't fun for the kid, it's a job that might lead to a possible scholarship. There's a bit of a debate in the club soccer scene about whether the time spent pursuing the high levels wouldn't be better spent in the books for better grades or SAT score. In the lower age groups, scores aren't "officially" kept, but you can bet your backside the parents and kids know who won and what the score was and it will be roundly discussed over happy meals later in the day.

Upshot, keep things in perspective. Not every kid wants to compete and the converse is also true. As a parent we're responsible for being alert to what may bring about the best long term outcome for our children and here's another observation, not all kids are the same- duh, so there are no cookie cutter solutions.

[diablopilot 2]

Are you resisting the "sheep-ification" of the masses?

Careful, you'll be getting something "special" in your Corn Flakes!

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You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

[georgerussia 0]

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It looks like most agree actively removing any competition is not a great idea.
So why is this happening? And why are parents allowing it to happen (assuming they have a way to stop it)?

Because some parents think it might hurt their little feelings. And that protecting their children feelings is more important than anything else - until they reach 18, of course. Then they release them into real world, and we've got one more person to blame everyone else about their own failures.

I wonder what will the next step be. Should all the kids forced to gain more weight, so they would not hurt feelings of overweight kids (up to 25% in some Bay Area shools)?

* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. *