Farmer McNasty

[freaksister 0]

These are great, ya'll! I am laughing too hard! Big vats, of I assume, shit. hahahahaha!!!rofl!!!
I am sooooo lucky....I don't have any stories for ya'll but I'm reading yours with amusement!
Sis
Sis
I may be crazy, but I'm not suicidal! Got Cypres?

[Doasfu 0]

I agree, keep 'em coming!
Dan

[Deleted 0]

Farmer McNasty #1: First jump at a new DZ and one of the regulers & I landed at a golf driving range that was closed but patroled by a junk yard dog. Lucky for me the dog went after the local jumper who must have landed there befor and knew the drill. He simply covered himself with his canopy like a tent and the dog just barked at the "tent".
Farmer Mcnasty #2: Z-Hills we landed in his pasture away from his cattle and walked to the gate next to his house and found the gate padlocked.We got the message and went as far away from the house as possiable and crawled under the barb wire fence befor we got caught.
Farmer Mcnasty #3. We were warned not to land on his property next to the DZ conficate gear, guns etc. We landed 3 miles out next to the road and the farmer was not happy screaming, crossing his arms, Ms Mcnasty doing the3 same thing. There were about 10 of us and I was far enough away to see the body lanquage and headed in the opposite direction. When we got back to the DZ we found out Mr Mcnasty 4 miles away was the same mcnasty that owned the land next to the DZ.

[lazerq3 0]

So why do farmers or anyone get mad if you land on their property. I mean its not like your trashing the place especailly a pasture ful of shit!! whats the deal, anyone know

[skyhawk 2]

well sometimes jumpers can damage the crop or scare the animals but its usally just cause they r pricks

[SniperCJ 0]

While doing training at SD Houston we were warned about the "Rotweiller farm" right across the street from the DZ. Apparently the guy raises Rots and doesnt like skydivers all that much. I never had the opportuninty to land there while I was there but heard some stories about guns getting pulled, shots being fired, cops being called and all that. Im lucky in that my home DZ is SD Dallas and we have LOTS of room, with only the occasional cow to dodge of you land off.
I did land off at another drop zone once. Got a realy bad spot and the only place I could get to was right in the middle of a trailer park. They had really big yards and wide streets, so it was an easy landing, but walking thru there carrying my chute waving to all the 'interesting' people on their porches was, well 'interesting'...

[SkySlut 0]

One of our McNasty's trains thoroughbread horses...so if we land off in his pasture, we can spook his horses and cause them to bolt into a fence or something causing serious injury...So when the owner of the horse finds out that McNasty had to put him down because of a skydiver...McNasty gets a ration of sh*t from the owner...possible lawsuit, blah, blah, blah. The guy has a valid arguement, but its not like people intentionally want to land in his pasture...it is an emergency, its either his pasture or trees. I will take the pasture anytime, thanks...
Recommendation: If you are going to land in a field with animals (especially a lone bull), try to keep as far away as possible from them. For your safety & theirs.
"I'll jump anything!"

[Craig 0]

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its not like people intentionally want to land in his pasture...it is an emergency, its either his pasture or trees. I will take the pasture anytime, thanks...

No kidding! It's like they think we WANT to land in the field or pastures and have to hoof (no pun intended) it back to the DZ. I'm with you, if I can't make it back there field is mine.
Craig

[Eggman 0]

2nd off landing, spotted a clearing, corked into it and found myself in the backyard of a huge mansion type estate. Grabbed my gear and started for the front. This little boy comes running out and yells "What a birthday! You got me a clown and a skydiver"
Sat there for a while having cake and ice cream
Last summer I came down in the corn field a ways from the dz. Bap Bap Bap, that corn stung. Headed for the fence
and a truck pulls up. Fartmer McNasty and his sons. The ol man is screamin at me to get the F%#@K off the property.
I look the other way and start walking. This punk hops out of the truck and starts to harrass me. I say "easy Dude, I'm outta here" Then he charges me as his other brother hops out. I think "Shit! this, I dont need" So, I turn to him and get ready to charge and close ground between us. Just as we get to each other Blam! This guys brother tackles him and proceeds to pummel him, real bad.
Not sure what was up, didnt care. Picked up a light jog towards the fence/woods/road/dz!
"Cant we all just get along"

[froggie 0]

i really like hearing the stories where you guys landed off and actually hung out. whether you sat there and had a hamburger with a bunch of partyrs or entertained a child on his birthday, i think that its really cool that you stay for a bit. I can only hope that if i have a real off landing (read: not near all the parked planes at the airport) that i run into the nice folks and not the farmer mcNastys. Keep trying for the dz but if ya gotta land off, entertain the whuffo folks for a bit before you head out :)
froggie

[Deleted 0]

Mark F... here....
SkySlut wrote some stuff about horses...
Years ago over in West Aust. I used to do a bit of ballooning ( which is very much more expensive than jumping ). Skydiving and ballooning happened from the same field usually with no problems....:-) The real problem was the horse stud next door on one side. We also had a cattle stud on the other side and over the road were sheep. The cattle and the sheep and their owners were no problem. Well the sheep would ALWAYS try and get directly UNDER whatever was coming down on 'em if they knew it was coming. Cattle don't seem to notice until you're on the ground. Horses are a different matter entirely. My ballooning instructor said about horses. "They're stupid unpredictable shits of things. If they don't trample you, they'll kill 'emselves somehow and the farmer sues. DON'T GO NEAR HORSES."
Bulls are only a problem if you're between them and where they think they want to be. Of course working out just where they want to be is not easy...:-) Best to stay away methinks.
The WORST animal hazard have to be GEESE. After a, let's just say out of the way balloon landing the 3 of us had a pretty bad time of it from about a dozen geese. Result we all ended up having stitches in our legs and one of the guys had his arm brkoen by one of the geese. Dangerous, stroppy buggers, geese.
Ooroo
Mark F...

[Aviatrr 0]

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i really like hearing the stories where you guys landed off and actually hung out. whether you sat there and had a hamburger with a bunch of partyrs or entertained a child on his birthday, i think that its really cool that you stay for a bit. I can only hope that if i have a real off landing (read: not near all the parked planes at the airport) that i run into the nice folks and not the farmer mcNastys. Keep trying for the dz but if ya gotta land off, entertain the whuffo folks for a bit before you head out :)

Just make sure that after your out landings(trust me, there will be plenty), if you hang around for a bit, call the DZ and let 'em know your ok.. Several of us spent over an hour looking for some bozo we thought landed in the swamp when he actually landed in some back yard and was invited to eat dinner with 'em.. Dumbass never bothered to call anybody and say he was ok.. We were pissed.. We missed sunset load..
Mike

[lazerq3 0]

What if you dont have farmer mcnastys but instead billy and the gang bangers!!!. THe DZ is out side the city however about two miles to the north there is a little section of town that is a gang area. Should we be trained to use riot gear at our DZ !!!!!

[Zennie 0]

Dang. Hope you're not target practice for 'em.
------------
Blue Skies!
Zennie

[Deleted 0]

>>So why do farmers or anyone get mad if you land on their property. I mean its not like your trashing the place especailly a pasture ful of shit!! whats the deal, anyone know.>>
Farmer's make their living growing crops and raising farm animals. They don't make a penny from jumpers. When some jumpers land in a farmers crops they neglect to walk down the rows to minimize the damage to the farmers crops. This cost the farmer money due to the reduced yeild/acre. Some jumpers even drag their rig thru the crops or can't find their way out and walk around in circles causing even more damage. Hint: if your going to land in the tall stuff pick a exit route before you land.
If the farmer has dairy cattle and they get spooked by a jumper landing to close this costs the farmer money because the dairy cattle's milk production can be adversly affected.

Same with beef cattle the farmer is trying to fatten them up because he gets paid by the pound and if they get to much exersice from surprises from above The poor cow might lose a couple of pounds and the farmer loses money.
Some jumpers don't know how to get out of a pasture without busting the farmers fence or they leave the gate open, animals can get out and the farmer has to chase them down befor they get run over.
Who's being "nasty" the farmer or the jumper, how many times does it have to happen befor the farmer gets a bad attitude? Some DZ's try and be good neighbors and pay the farmers copensation for any damages, other don't.
Of course some farmers are just plain nasty to everyone and everything they'll get pissed just seeing you walk down the road back to the DZ.

[skyhawk 2]

yer just like my post but longer and more indepth :-)

[Iflyme 0]

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Farmer's make their living growing crops and raising farm animals. They don't make a penny from jumpers.

Anon, this is good perspective... farming is a business. And some people just don't like ANYONE trespassing on their private property.

[Deleted 0]

>>What if you dont have farmer mcnastys but instead billy and the gang bangers!!!. THe DZ is out side the city however about two miles to the north there is a little section of town that is a gang area. Should we be trained to use riot gear at our DZ !!!!!>>
Before they built the new road to Z-Hills the only access to the DZ's was thru a poor part of town, shacks no street light etc. Some small business men would conduct business at night (drugs) with customers that stopped their cars in the middle of the road. In order to get to the DZ we had to wait until the car/cars in front of us finished their tranactions.
I guess the dealers knew that their place of business was on the way to the DZ and never got paranoid or bothered us.
Some people said the dealers thought all skydiver's were nuts and felt it was in their best interests to play nice.
Maybe if your concerned about having to land in the hood it might be wise not to have any red or blue on your gear. My guess is that if there reguler gang bangers they won't mess with crazy skydivers. However if you run into one that has just killed his mother or if you land in the middle of a gun battle than you may have to hit the deck or run like hell. Practice your emergency procedure's "duck and cover" or carry a cell phone.

[wingnut 0]

hell, when jumping in the hood i just carry my uzi (a fine product from omrimon's country) and some hand grenades(baseball, not pinappple), people know not to mess with the wingnut,plus if it gets really nasty i just call in the f-16's for a low level straffing run and some napalm!......(this is fiction i'm just a mechanic in the af, plus i have yet to see a "bad" part of germany......)
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[Deleted 0]

It's been a while since I was in the AF in germany and maybe things have changed, but if your looking for a bad part of germany try the area around the train station in Frankfurt after dark or the bars where the G.I.s hang out.
Your best source of info of current bad place's in Germany would be to find out the places that are off limit's to G.I.s. Their always lots of fun.

[propblast 0]

I dont know i liked germany. And i lived in Frankfurt to boot. Never had a problem there even at nite. Seems to me just like anywhere else you got to look for the trouble.
-e