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Viking

OMG Door to Door Salesmen are fun to mess with!!!!

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We just this guy selling some shit from the Denny's!!! He came to the wrong door and rang the door bell. (happens alot) and we had out dog Emily in the house and she hates the door bell so she proceeds to bark up a damn storm. So i go out side to talk to this guy and right as he starts walking past this huge platglass window we have in the living room Emily jumps up on the couch and smacks her head on the glass making me and the salesman jump. So i calmly say to him "Look man if she comes through the window you should run as fast as you can b/c she has really strong jaw muscles". Well this guy turns fucking white as a ghost. "So what ya selling" i asked him and he kinda stutters and starts his speal. Now by this time we have slowly walked back to the front door were my mom is restraining Emily. The guy see's this and stops what he is doing as asks what kinda dog it is. I tell him its a black lab. He is like oh ya i heard they are pretty protective. Ya she is very protective of her family. He says its a she? Yes, oh, ya they are even worse about the protectivness thing and then out of the blue i just flattly say "big teeth too" the guy just says good bye and walks off!!!! me and my mom proceed to laugh our ass' off b/c this is like a sport for us.
Remember when Sex was safe and skydiving was Dangerous?

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Bwaaaaahaaahaaaaaaaaa!! Got to love them guard dogs! Reminds me of the time I went to my parents house, just after they got a new dog. Walked up to the front door and started going in, and the damn thing runs up and bit me right in the ass!! Saved by my wallet, fortunately. Her name is Lacey, and she’s VERY protective of my parent’s place. Later on, after she was used to me, I was up at at my parent’s again with a friend of mine and we were playing basketball. Lacey kept circling us and would dart towards my friend and I would shout “LACEY!!! NOOOO!!!!” and she would back off. Finally we were walking toward the house and she comes up behind us and sinks her teeth into my friend’s ass. He whips around and goes “OOOWWWW YOU BITCH!!!!!!” After telling him I was sorry about that, I quietly went to Lacey and said “good girl!!” When I was younger and lived with my parent’s at a different house, we got robbed. Took my Super Nintendo and all my games (how dare you!!), and 2 pot pies out of the freezer (must have been hungry burglars). The 3 dogs we had at the time didn’t do a damn thing. Now, my dad works night shifts a lot, and my mom used to be scared to be home alone at night. And now that they have Lacey, I sincerely think that anybody that thinks they are going to break in are probably going to lose their most precious family jewels, and then some!! Man’s best friend – damn straight!!
Josh
"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

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Reminds me of the Siberian Husky we had when I was a teenager. No barking or growling, but he would always strain at his collar trying to get at Jehovas Witnesses and salesmen. Little did they know he only wanted to lick them to death!
Ha! ha! ha!

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I always find it fun to see if I can get a telephone salesperson to hang up on me. It's usually not too hard, I just ask lots of questions about their product. There's always something flakey with what they're selling. After all, if it was really as awesome as the pitch they laid down, why would they need to call me to sell it?

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Proven Chuck Blue techniques for ridding yourself of roaming Mormons, Jehovahs, etc....
Come to the door with NO PANTS OR UNDERWEAR ON then talk to them like nothing is out of the ordinary. A nice finishing touch is to have your .45 in your hand. Believe me, they will never come back.
As far as telemarketers: If I am just too tired to hang up on them, I will generally tell them to give me their home phone number and I will call them back there.
Chuck

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How funny! What a pretty dog too!
We have a Rott/Great Dane mix that won't let Merrick and I play! We start messing around, play hitting each other and such, and he gets upset with it! He'll stand between us and put his mouth around whomever's arm is doing the hitting, not biting down, but growling a warning :) Then my other dog, a Cocker/Chow mix is my best guess, will get mad at the Rott/Dane (Judge) and start biting at him for biting us! It's quite a mess, but I would hate to see someone REALLY try to hurt one of the family!
(BTW, they are locked out of the bedroom during 'intimate moments'. You can imagine how upset they get thinking someone is getting hurt! LOL!)
Pammi
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