ugh

[Doasfu 0]

Man, I almost cried yesterday when I was driving down the freeway and stuck my hand out the window. I'm so fucking sick of video games it's not even funny, but I'm too damn scared to jump.
Dan
"Oh, you went to a movie this weekend? That's nice. Me? Oh... Actually, me too..."

[freaksister 0]

I hate to hear that man...Believe it or not though, I do understand something of how you feel. I am finally getting over my fear factor, but for a long long time I had to force myself to skydive sometimes, because I was just "afraid." I didn't really know what I was afraid of, just "something." But I kept going back up even if it was only one jump the whole weekend and every time I was glad I did. Maybe that is what you need to try to do! Don't give up on yourself!
Sis
I'm not crazy because I take the right pills everyday.

[dkearns 0]

Dude,
Some times you just have to decide what you want to do. If you want to skydive then go skydive. If your afraid of dying and that's what is slowing you down then I'm not sure anyone can help you, but if it's some thing you really want to do in your heart then you'll get in the damn airplane and you'll get out of the damn airplane and be relaxed and aware of what's going on and have a good jump. When you get to the ground you'll thank your self and everyone will know by that big shit eaten grin you have on your face. Next thing you know you have beer in your face then pies then more beer then what's her name on your face. By this time you will have forgotten more about being scared than you can remember and just be a regular skydiver.

[PalmettoTiger 1]

Dan, we may be in the same boat. After running out of excuses this afternoon, I had to admit that I've lost my nerve. It's happened to me before. I eventually found it again, and made a jump or two. This time it may be different. The "Alps" article on the front page GROSSLY misreports the death of a skydiver from my DZ. However, the fact that the AP did not see fit to get her correct age, hometown, or even the correct details of her death does not change the fact that Erin is gone.
I'm not afraid of skydiving all of a sudden just because of her death. I've been worried about my safety, and in particular how my passing would hurt my family, several times before. But I was able to come to terms with that, push through the doubt, and have fantastic jumps. I think the problem is that everything I have ever taken up, I have quit after a little while. Now that habit is sneaking up on me again.
Drop me an e-mail and we'll hash this out.
Blues, squares,
PTiger

[Aviatrr 0]

Sorry Dan, but I'm not the best when it comes to paying attention.. What exactly is it that scared you away? Bad experience? I know you are a fairly low timer, but how many jumps?
Hey - face it, skydiving is not for everyone.. I may catch flak over this, but it's true.. I know several people who have gotten out of the sport because they were afraid every time they jumped.. One with over 500 jumps.. He forced himself to do it because all his buddies did it.. None of us knew that..
You need to decide if the rewards outweigh the risks.. People will tell you skydiving is safe.. They're wrong.. It's dangerous as hell.. It's all about risk management.. I feel that the rewards far outweigh the risks, and I feel very safe skydiving...but safe is a very subjective term.. I don't have a family - maybe if I did, I would feel different.. I don't know..
Mike

[ClayFowler 0]

I'll say this once. YOU HAVE TO DIE OF SOMETHING, Death is inevitable. You can either choose to live or just exist in the short time you have on this planet. GO FAST TAKE CHANCES AND FOR GOD"S SAKE DONT WEAR A HELMET!!!!!

[Zennie 0]

Not that this will make you feel any better, but remember that BASE jumping and skydiving are totally different animals. About the only similarity is that you're wearing a parachute. BASE is way more dangerous because there's no backup, and off-heading openings are very often killers.
Life has a 100% mortality rate. I don't worry about dying skydiving because I could just as easily drop dead from a heart attack, get cancer or get creamed by someone at an intersection. You really never know. I just hope that when my time comes, whenever and however that may be, that it's quick & painless. Preferably I won't even know it's coming. Really distracts from living in the moment, ya know?
There's a Zen story about a guy being chased by a tiger. He gets to a cliff and jumps off because he has no other option. He manages to grab a branch and hangs on for a bit. He looks up and sees the tiger waiting for him above and looks down only to see more tigers waiting for him below. As the branch starts to break, he notices a big strawberry growing on a bush right next to him. He reaches out, grabs it and right as the branch breaks he pops it into his mouth and savors it's wonderful taste.
Sorry for the morbidity, but that's kind of what I think life is about. If we spend our time worrying about something as inevitable as death, we miss so many wonderful things that are right in front of our eyes. Fear is basically an aversion to the unknown. We're afraid of hypotheticals which exist only in our minds. If we don't concern ourselves with the unknown there's nothing to fear.
Gassho! (Buddhist bow of respect and saltuation that you and I are one).
------------
Blue Skies!
Zennie

[Duck 0]

You are not the only one, if that is any consolation. After my accident, my life was wrapped in so many things for so long that I didn't really think about jumping (other than what I did wrong). I told myself that I'd get back into it, but never did. Now I'm on the edge, waiting on USPA to reissue my license. I need to get recurrent with a Level IV and hope to come to terms with a few things at that time. While I've been waiting, now I'm thinking about jumping all the time, seeing all kinds of scenarios play through late at night. Maybe I spent six years avoiding the issue, but now it's in my face and it's at times exciting and others terrifying.
But - and this is just me, my situation - I have to find out. Because for the past couple of years, I have never been happier than when I was jumping and being around fellow skydivers. I know how Clay and Av thinks works for them, but others like Tiger and myself look at it another way. You just need to figure out your approach, which may be entirely from another direction.
I guess I don't have any fool-proof advice for you. When I read your post, I just thought to myself, 'Yeah, yeah. I know what that feels like.' And it's easy to be embarrassed/ashamed/disappointed with yourself feeling that. Don't. It's a very real issue, and it's good you threw it out for someone to hear. I guess I'd just say, listen very carefully to yourself, both sides, to include the part that's in love with the air and the part that's terrified of the ground. There's a balance somewhere in between and you need to find it. Good luck and, I hope, Blue Skies. Feel free to send me a message if you want.

[skymedic 0]

You have two choices here. Eather you want to be a Skydiver badly enough or you do not. If you want it you will go to the DZ get on the frickin plane and then jump out. otherwise find another sport. as mike said earlier this sport isn't for everyone and I am sure I will get flamed for this BUT you need to get up there and quit letting your mind fuck with you like this. I know you can do it, you know you can do it, and everyone else here knows you can do it.....SO DO IT.....or quit. sorry it is so in your face but you need to make up your mind and figure out what it is you really want.
email me and we can talk this out. come on man you know you want it....
Marc
A-38578

[mouth 0]

If I remember correctly you were having headaches really bad and that is why you stopped jumping. Are you still having them? When was your last jump? Did anything happen on that jump?
I'm not going to offer any advice to you right now. I would rather hear more of what you are feeling and why you think you are feeling that way. Maybe then we can help you work through this to find the best possible solution.
BTW....Medic you need to read and take your own advice. Do it or quit...you are starting to sound like me. LOL

[AggieDave 6]

I know personally I have a morbid fear of heights and it took me about 40 jumps to get over my fear of skydiving because of that. Once I was in the air I was fine, though under canopy I was worried about something happening under 1000ft (weird, huh?). The ride to Alti was bad for me, because I was worried, once the door opened I was scared shitless, but once I was climbing out, I was fine. Now, I have fun on the way up, the door opens and I'm hanging my head out looking at the spot/just getting a bodypart out in the air That was a blast. I look forward to my canopy time now, I like to play and see what I can do. The point of the rambling is, if it is something that you know in your heart that you DO actually enjoy, the fear will go and you will begin to have the best time of your life. If you decide that it isn't for you, I'm sorry and we'll miss having you in the sky with us, but if you continue, GREAT! Maybe we'll meet at a DZ sometime and we can get a jump or two together, or at the very least get some beer and talk about jumps. AggieDave '02
-------------
Blue Skies and Gig'em Ags!
BTHO t.u.

[Albatross 0]

I know that some others have said that this is up to you and I agree. Look life is dangerous and we all know that and accept it on some levels. We cross the street knowing that a car could kill us, we drive knowing that we could crash and we skydive knowing that we could die. This is a fact of life, each of us has to decide which risks are important enough or small enough to take. I don't envy the thoughts that you are dealing with but I hope that you don't let a fear make you stop doing something that you love. If you want to stop great, if you stop for your family or friends that is up to you but for yourself don't leave because you are afraid because then you are not in charge and not running your life your frear is. I have had the deamons and know what they are like good luck in your stuggles with your deamons.
Ready, Set, GOOOOOOO
Albatross

[Albatross 0]

I know that some others have said that this is up to you and I agree. Look life is dangerous and we all know that and accept it on some levels. We cross the street knowing that a car could kill us, we drive knowing that we could crash and we skydive knowing that we could die. This is a fact of life, each of us has to decide which risks are important enough or small enough to take. I don't envy the thoughts that you are dealing with but I hope that you don't let a fear make you stop doing something that you love. If you want to stop great, if you stop for your family or friends that is up to you but for yourself don't leave because you are afraid because then you are not in charge and not running your life your frear is. I have had the deamons and know what they are like good luck in your stuggles with your deamons.
Ready, Set, GOOOOOOO
Albatross

[outthere 0]

yeah - i now getting out the door is hell - but so is fear - so this next part may be a bit cheesy and what not but bear with me - as kid i read Dune, by Frank Herbert, and fell n love with and adopted a little mantra from it which i repeat for myself to clear my head, whether the fear be from a test, out climbing or getting out the goddamn door of that plane:
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn to see fear's path. Where it has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain"
so that's how i see it, and that's what it's all about - being you and not being your fear.
e

[xybe 0]

Admitting that you are afraid is a great step and you've taken it, kudos! Bsides, you don't need to push yourself into jumping, wait until you are ready. When you make your decision to jump, that is IF you make your decision to jump then you will know that eventually you will jump and it's only a matter of time before you are freefalling and having fun canopy rides.
I falied to deploy my first two AFF jumps. I believe it was because I denied my fear, I was to proud to accept that skydiving could be scary to me. I was to busy being mad at myself for screwing up and missed all the fun on my first jumps. The point here is, accept your fear, know that in spite of it you will make a good jump. Don't go for perfect at the begining, just be safe and have fun, it will save you ton's of frustration and money wasted on fruitless jumps.
Remember, fear is good if it helps you stay alive. I will take fear over excessive confidence any day.
Besides, skydiving is as much fun you can have in a planet with no spiceworms to ride :)
Loved the Dune reference!
(If you decide not to jump, you can always become a Hardcore Whuffo, new members are always welcome
Still shedding whuffo-ness
Check out the Hardcore Whuffo pages

[lazerq3 0]

I'll tell you what ..I was scared shitless when that door opened and it took till about jump 13 to get over that. Now I'm like a dog in a car,, roll that window down so I can stick my head out. You need to figure out what it is your afraid of . Handling Emer-proceedures, falling, or what. You either need to go to the DZ and DRILL DRILL DRILL or just quit. If its not for you then thats fine, nobody here is going to lose any respect for you. Hey you treid it and it just wasnt for you. Thats more than what approx 6. some odd billion other people can say. But if you want it GO FOR IT and quit beating yourself up. Plus when I come to Mich I'm going to need someone to show me the ropes there in hastings. My parents live only 30min away so you can bet one of these days I'll be out there.
Hope you get over your demons and good luck what ever you decide!
jason

[Doasfu 0]

Quote

"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn to see fear's path. Where it has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain"

Hey, we're not talking about the Gom Jabar here, just a 15 second delay. :)
Dan
"Oh, you went to a movie this weekend? That's nice. Me? Oh... Actually, me too..."

[Kris 0]

Quote

Hey, we're not talking about the Gom Jabar here, just a 15 second delay. :)

Gom Jabar? Are you trying to insinuate that he's a filthy Harkonnen animal or something? That's not very nice...
Kris
Ahhh, Skydiving, Geeks & Dune. It just doesn't get any better than this.

[JDBoston 0]

Well,
Skydiving, geeks, and Dune. Who woulda thunk it. Frankly it's amazing any of us get laid. Just kidding, I have read all of the Dune books - the ones by Frank at least, not his son or whoever picked up the torch. There's some neat shit in there.
What worked for my fear, as I mentioned in a different thread, was telling everyone I could think of that I planned to jump on X date so I couldn't back out of it. It didn't make me any less afraid, but it did prevent me from bagging on something that deep down inside I knew I wanted to do.
Not that I'm a professional advice giver or anything, but let me suggest a couple things:
1) buy Dr. John DeRosalia's book Mental Training for Skydiving and Life. Do a Google search to find his address or send me a private message and I can give it to you. It is well worth the $18, trust me. I think lots of other top notch skydivers out there have read it or trained with him, including Arizona Airspeed and others.
2) If you don't want to go to that much trouble, read Parachutist a lot, stare at the pictures, and visualize yourself doing some of that cool shit as a future D-license holding badass. If you can get excited about the possibilities it helps with your motivation to get through the initial barriers.
3) On the plane, take deep, smooth breaths. Ideally take up Yoga, they will teach you how to relax the right way.
You won't necessarily have an epiphany like, "wow, now I know all I want to do is skydive." But you may find yourself getting in the car and going to the DZ because somewhere deep down inside you feel like that's really the only reasonable thing to do on a sunny day. Good luck and keep us posted!
Joe
A-38502