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misskriss

Too risky for mommy?

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So, I'm not a real skydiver....only tandems so far. Here's the thing. Scheduled to start AFF this coming Saturday. I have 3 children......my mother says I'm being selfish..too dangerous for a mother of 3....what if something happens....etc. My husband is semi supportive. I've had such a blast doing tandems and just wonder if by continuing am I only thinking of myself. Any other parents of young children have the same concerns or get the same flak from family? Guess I'm looking for permission.. give it to me

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I hate to say it but if you are doubting anything now.... maybe this is'nt for you. Enough pressure from your family will eventually make this a big problem with them. I know of lots of parents that jump, and a few that both parents jump. All of them have made all their final arrangements and made preperations for their children beyond most other parents plans. Death is never more then a couple of seconds away in this sport and if you can get over that, then you can really start to have fun. If that is a hang up then it'll always be in the back of your mind and your proformance will suffer.
If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will....

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You're gonna get flack from pretty much every segment of your community. I get it from all angles, all directions..............
You will discover yourself in a whole new way, and you will relate to the world differently (and better, I believe). You will learn many things about yourself, and what you are capable of. How could that be wrong, selfish, detrimental?
Like Jimbo said: "permission granted".
Now go fly! And come back and tell us all about it!!!!!!!!!!
Ciels and Pinks-
Michele
If you really want to, you can seize the day; if you really want to, you can fly away...
~enya~

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I am totally with you, Kriss.....I skydive and have a 5 year-old, and I really do think it's selfish in some way. In the years that I've jumped, a BUNCH of people have died skydiving, and many that were the most careful, safest people you'd know. Something just went wrong.....and kids lose parents that way. I still go through a big debate about that in my mind, but not skydiving is simply not an option.....
some days it's just not worth gnawing through the straps
http://home.earthlink.net/~linzwalley

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I can relate. I'm a single parent, there is no father in my son's life. He was 6 when I started jumping, and I caught hell from my parents (who would have been the ones to take over his care should anything have happened to me).
What I did to help relieve their minds was promise to skydive as safely as possible, and until now (my son just turned 18) I've never jumped as hard as I really want to (since more jumps equals more exposure to the not-so-manageable risks, like aircraft problems).
What do I mean by skydiving as safely as possible? Things like flying a larger canopy, not jumping in marginal conditions, not doing more risky skydives (head down, big ways, swoop landings)...
My take on it is that I can die walking down the street, driving to work or of some horrible disease just as easily as I can jumping out of perfectly good airplanes. If I were to have died jumping when my son was younger, well, at least he would have known that I had truly _lived_ my life... Eventually even my mother understood - she recently told me that while she would of course mourn my death should I go in, she would not blame skydiving for it - she knows how much it means to me and she's very proud of what I've accomplished in the sport so far. That's a pretty awesome thing imho.
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Guess I'm looking for permission.. give it to me

Go for it! Your children, and eventually your whole family, will respect you even more for living your dreams, and while they may worry about you with time they will see that you are skydiving responsibly and as safely as is possible. imho that's all they have a right to ask of you.
pull & flare,
lisa
[subliminal msg]My website Go Now[/subliminal msg]

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my mother says I'm being selfish..

Skydiving is a fairly selfish sport. My wife reminds me of this on a fairly regular basis. :D
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I've had such a blast doing tandems

You have to take time out for yourself, even as a parent. You can't completely neglect yourself and expect to keep a healthy mental attitude. It will give you time away and a chance to do something that makes you happy. Everyone needs that (even mommies). Just make sure you balance it with your family and other responsibilities. It is a fairly dangerous sport though and you have to be realistic about that.
Frasier has left the building :D
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

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So there you were driving to the gym when you were killed by a drunk driver...
See, no matter what you do, you could die. Yeah, thats not the point you were making, but I wanted to make a point with that. It is a dangerous sport but if it is something you truely love, then you should pursue it. Didn't you see a handful of crumbsnatchers running around the DZ when you were there? Probably. Those were more then likely jumper's kids, you're not the first one to do this, and your kids will have some neat experiences at the DZ.
Oh, and once they reach about 10yrs or so, you'll have a set of packers, they have to earn their allowance some how, right? ;)
A human cannonball, I rise above it all
Up higher then a trapeze, I can fly

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it is more dangerous to drive a car down a free-way than to skydive but no one ever says, "don't drive your children will not have a parent." their are all kinds of ways to make it even more safe than it already is. what i would be more concerned with is who is going to be teaching and watching your children while you are jumping. are you going to let your kids run free on the DZ and set the grass on fire(spaceland last summer!), or pick up the other habits that may form. this is a safe sport for those who make it safe........freak things can always happen in whatever you do. and too, everyday, treat your children as if THEY will not have a mother tomorrow because when the hooded man knocks, it is not like you cannot open the door or pretend not to hear him....................i kinda been thinkin' about this all day because on the way to work a chevy truck on the other side of the f/w got hit from behind, went airborn, half way jumped the wall, almost hit me head on and then flipped back over and rolled a few more times before coming to rest. i almost got killed and i was not even fuckin skydiving!
"remember when we were in africa"

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That's true.....sure you can get killed mowing the yard if the circumstances are right.....it's just that skydiving is not one of those things that one must do in order to live in society.....unless you're a skydiver.... but I guess then we're talking in circles....
some days it's just not worth gnawing through the straps
http://home.earthlink.net/~linzwalley

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Follow your dream.................
There will always be someone who doesn't agree with something you do or how you do it. Take the time and do something for yourself. You will become a more confident person and have a whole different outlook on life. I know that just doing the couple of tandems I did, has changed me. Nothing compares to the freedom of the sky! Go for it!!!!!!!
J
"Follow your dreams, go skydiving"

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I asked the exact same question at the exact same stage that you are at. I did a few tandems and planned on starting AFF and I go so much flack from my boss and a few relatives (aunts, sisters) that I started second guessing myself. My in-laws didn't seem to bad about it until my husband decided to join me. Now we can't even mention it in front of them.
Anyway... I decided it was worth it. You don't know what tomorrow may bring so you have to live today. I would rather live a shorter full life than a long life where I never really lived. I do try to be as careful as possible. My husband and I are both very conservative on canopy choices and if the winds get iffy I am one of the first to scratch off the load. I have no problem riding the plane down if weather conditions change. We also don't go on the same load very often ... we like to keep one of us safe on the ground just in case. We've talked with our kids about the risks and explained how we are doing as much as possible to stay safe. I've stopped arguing with those saying I'm not being a good mother. I quietly tell them that I'm sorry they feel that way but that I've given it serious thought and that I don't agree. Then smile and change the subject. Most of the times I feel that I am doing the right thing. Occasionally I'll be sitting at one of my kids' games or comforting them when things go wrong and doubts will cross my mind. I'll think of how much they need me and how much it means to them that I am there. But then I also know that I'm a better mom when I feel fulfilled and happy. I'm a mom but I'm also a woman. I can't stop living my life for 20 years. Plus I think I'm teaching my kids to live and to follow their dreams. So I think if this is something that you really want to do then you should do it. It is more dangerous than most other things you will do but if you love it, it's worth it. Good luck and let us know how AFF goes! If you want to read about my experiences starting out here is my website http:// http://www.geocities.com/tysca66
Oh... and yes you are already a real skydiver. Definitely over that whuffo line! :)Blue Skies,
D

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I have to agree with the masses here. Im the father of a two year old son. I stopped jumping for a while after he was born because everyone told me it was the "responsible" thing to do. It was the worst period of time in my life. Skydiving changes you, the friends you will make in the skydiving community will change you and once you start (which you already have by doing tandems) youll never be able to stop. You know not the day nor the hour or the means by which God or your higher power will call you home do not give up your dreams of skydiving, youll look at life in a whole new way. be careful forever but get your ass in the air!

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My girlfriend is a mother of 2. She got the same sort of flack. She replied that she could just as easily be killed driving to work every morning and if she died while skydiving she will have died doing what she loved to do. Her children are very supportive of her jumping. They think its great.
You cant live your life at someone else's whim. And a happy skydiving mother is better than one earthbound, always looking skyward.
Go jump!
JC

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I'm really glad that you brought this subject up. I have a 3 yr old girl and an 18 month old boy and wonderful wife that I cannot get enough of. I'm presently not pursuing my licsence because of this concern. Someone earlier posted that if you can't come to grips with the fact that death is a mere seconds away, then this sport is probably not for you. I'm having trouble with that, personally. If I were single it wouldn't be a problem, but I entered this marraige for the long haul and we decided to raise a family together . That's what I'm having trouble getting past. Is it selfish of me to jump out of airplanes . . you bet it is. Do I really want to jump out of airplanes . . you bet I do. But should it be so important, that I'm willing to place a husband and a daddy in the face of that kind of risk . . . I honestly don't know, but I'm desperately working on it.

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that death is a mere seconds away


This is differen't from the rest of your life exactly how? You can die of anything at anytime. Might as well have some fun before you go. Life isn't about trying to desperately hold onto the here and now. It's about living and living is about adventure, experience, and change. For me anyway. The meek shall inherit the earth....
"It's all about the BOOBIES!"

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I personally don't think that there is any correct answer to this. I think it's something that, hopefully, every parent who skydives thinks about and makes an informed decision about. For me, though I know there is selfish motivation, skydiving is too great a part of my life to give up....and I do want my child to grow up feeling that he can go out and grab whatever he wants from life....he learns that by seeing how his dad and I live our lives....As long as we survive skydiving, then all's well and good. That argument may not hold water with some 5 y/o kid whose mother died because she had to jump out of that plane.... Skydiving is not something that you pretty much have to do in order to make it in society....it's an extra, added risk (and a pretty huge one) that we take on simply because we want to....
some days it's just not worth gnawing through the straps
http://home.earthlink.net/~linzwalley

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Don't get me wrong, I understand the risks of everyday life. My question is, in light of being accountable to three other people that I love more than anything, does the fact that I love skydiving justify adding a voluntary risk of this magnitude to my life? . . I don't know, but that's what I'm personally dealing with.

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i dont have a wife or kids,but when me me and my brother first got into this sport my dad gave us all types of greif. that was until he came out to the drop zone saw the people packing giving instruction watching the videos ect what canged his mind was going up and watching me exit the airplane!
i gave him two thumbs up as i fell away
when i landed he understood why i did it ! i was celebrating life! that was the last time i saw him i gave him a big hug before he left.six months later he died of a heart attack.
just the night before he died he was talking to me about doing a skydive! but i am glad that he understood why i do what i do
you are on this earth for a short time. do as much as you can while you are here. love your husband ,children and family.
and live. only you can know how to live your life.
skydiveing is a wonderful sport. that where i feel closest to my dad.
if ya can't dodge it RAM IT !!!!!!
click me

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>Guess I'm looking for permission.. give it to me
Can't do that . . . it's something you have to decide for yourself. I should say that you can make skydiving as safe or as dangerous as you want it to be. If you stay current, choose gear based on safety rather than fashion, are careful who you jump with, and choose disciplines that are inherently safer than others, you can be extremely safe, safer than 90% of the skydivers out there. Is that safe enough? That's up to you to decide.
-bill von

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I have 2 kids. Everytime I head out to the dz, I say a little prayer, not for me, but for my kids to not lose their mother. And, after I had an accident on jump #11, and a wrap on #26, I reconsidered jumping, and quit for 7 months. But, those where the worst 7 months of my life. I felt like I wasn't "living" anymore. And, I wasn't as good as a mom during that time. So, I decided to read alot, ask a lot of questions, and be a conservative jumper. And, I've had 120 jumps since then, and haven't had any incidents so I'm feeling a lot more confident about my decision. I realize I can still die jumping, but I can die anywhere, anywhere. The tragedy of 9/11 is a testement to that.
It took some time for my kids to adjust to me not being at home 24/7 for them, but they've also gotten closer to their father because of it. And, they both think it's pretty cool now. My daughter introduces me to her friends as, "this is my mom, she's a skydiver". And, my son is reciting his speech right now that he's going to make to his 5th grade class tomorrow about skydiving.
Finally, the best advice I ever got when I was tormented with my decision was from my mentor....face your fears, live your dreams.
Andrea
I'm high as a kite
I just might
Stop and check you out.

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