christopherm 0 #1 June 12, 2002 Bad news today. I recently moved to work full time at my home DZ. That puts me about two hours from my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years. I came back to visit for a couple of days and we have fun the first night i get there. The next day, I go over to her house to hang out and she seems upset. We leave to go play mini golf and she finally breaks down and says we shouldn't go out any more. She is crying and I am in complete shock. She says it is not because of the move or else she would say so, she says she just doesn't feel the same way about me anymore but she still loves and cares for me. It came as a complete shock to me and I'm deffinately not willing to just suddenly give up when this comes out of nowhere. She also says there is no one else that she is interested in.I need help, advice, experiences in the same situation. Ladies, what is she doing? Is this a phase? Is there still hope?HELP! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shark 0 #2 June 12, 2002 Initiate your Emergency Proceedures......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sinkster 0 #3 June 12, 2002 The main thing is to not lose your dignity over it and grovel or beg her to stay with you. No point in a relationship unless there is some kind of equal reciprocity. Plus the balance of power appears to be in her hands at this point. I had a similar thing happen once too. My advice now is to:1. Ditch her cold turkey and leave it be. No point dragging it out when it's over when you could be meeting someone new and exciting.2. Find someone else real quick as a "pivot" even if you don't really like them to make her jealous and want you back. This strategy also works to get dates in general. There are a lot of fish out there so don't sweat it and don't settle for "game playing". (although astute readers will note that my advice above about getting a "pivot" is also a "game" so I might be a hyprocrite. However, I'm still not jaded enough to actually follow my own advice which I have learned only from listening to other people.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites hottamaly 1 #4 June 12, 2002 It's hard to figure without knowing more about it but just from what little you have said, it sounds like she feels she's loseing you in a way. Does she skydive? You are now working FULL time at a dz, you jump, and, you just moved further away...just my .02 worthSKYDIVING GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pop 0 #5 June 12, 2002 Cut her away. No need to waste time. ----------"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he doesn't exist!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lummy 4 #6 June 12, 2002 Look cutaway, grab cutaway, Peel...Well...you get the idea the INTERNET comes in any color you'd like Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites rgoper 0 #7 June 12, 2002 time to get under "a different canopy" this one's got a malfuntion.....chachink! arch, and flare Richard"Gravity Is My Friend" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GrumpySmurf 0 #8 June 12, 2002 Carter's Rule #1 of Dating:Never, EVER go back to an ex-. Once she says she is having doubts and feels it won't work out, it's over - like the others have said - cutaway - her words just started the relationship on the downward spiral of death. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jimbo 0 #9 June 12, 2002 Do you think she's not telling you the truth? Don't beg, just accept it and move on.-Jim Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sinkster 0 #10 June 12, 2002 amen brother! preach it!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GrumpySmurf 0 #11 June 12, 2002 QuoteDo you think she's not telling you the truth? Yeah that is the number one warning sign - the combination of:"I don't think I feel the same about you" and "But I still love you." - that usually means she is torn between her feelings for you and for some other sod. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sinkster 0 #12 June 12, 2002 Quote Yeah that is the number one warning sign - the combination of:"I don't think I feel the same about you" and "But I still love you." - that usually means she is torn between her feelings for you and for some other sod. That's why u need the "pivot" point so she will decide on you just because someone else might take you before she can decide. Basically the old "someone else wants him so he must be worth something" trick.Quote some other sod. lol, eloquently put. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites airdrew20012001 0 #13 June 12, 2002 *** She says it is not because of the move or else she would say so, she says she just doesn't feel the same way about me anymore but she still loves and cares for me. It came as a complete shock to me and I'm deffinately not willing to just suddenly give up when this comes out of nowhere. She also says there is no one else that she is interested in. ***I hate that. I think people should be honest: "it's not you, it's me....I don't like you"Drewfus McDoofus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Derekbox 0 #14 June 12, 2002 See thread on "Dating skydivers"My opinion:Option 1) She skydives. Try to fix it.Option 2) She doesnt. Forget herOption 3) She doesnt skydive, but you really like her, dude its 2000'. Decision time. If all else fails, cutaway....->"Will work for jumps"->Daytona Beach Fl ->DZ: Deland->AIM: Derekbox Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ShortBus 0 #15 June 12, 2002 a spinning mal is something not to fuck with. If you got put on your back cut away theres nothin else you can doca-chink"would you rather have beer or total happiness in your life?" "hmmm what kind of beer?" Homer j..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites dove 0 #16 June 12, 2002 To me it sounds like there is someone she's interested in. She probably hasn't done anything but the temptation is there and it is stronger since you aren't there. Long distance relationships suck anyway. I say cutaway and find someone who IS sure of you. dove Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites billvon 2,380 #17 June 12, 2002 >2. Find someone else real quick as a "pivot" even if you don't really like them >to make her jealous and want you back. This strategy also works to get dates in> general. In my experience this never works. Women can sense desperation. When you go out with friends and _aren't_ looking for a relationship - that's when you find them.-bill von Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sinkster 0 #18 June 12, 2002 Quote In my experience this never works. Women can sense desperation. When you go out with friends and _aren't_ looking for a relationship - that's when you find them. Experience noted. The only problem then is when the wrong women come after you: Evil seductive temptresses! (my momma says women are the devil!)Right now I have my own stalker because someone brought their friend to the drop zone and apparently she's infatuated with the "dare devil" skydiver type and since I'm normally a very nice and open person I guess I looked like a sucker for her touchy-feely antics if you know what I mean. =) I can't say that I didn't enjoy the attention, but I started thinking with the wrong head and made the mistake of giving her my contact info instead of *just* getting hers. One of the TMs was hitting on her looking for a shag and if that's what I wanted I *know* I'd be set but I just don't have the heart to do it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MrHixxx 0 #19 June 12, 2002 If she doesn't feel the same way she used to, there is little or nothing you can do... Cutaway!-Hixxx"Woman... Wu -mon... Whoa - man! She stole my heart and my cat" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bbarnhouse 0 #20 June 13, 2002 Hummmm she has someone else, the move affected it, and ever hear the line........"you are the nicest guy I have ever met?" My advice.......go to plan "B" let er rip. chachink! Buh bye babay buh bye.Then don't begin a new relationship until you have recovered form this one. That isnt fair to you, nor the SO. Cheers dude!Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but rather by the moments that take our breath away. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skycat 0 #21 June 13, 2002 Yep, she either has someone else or is scared that you may have found someone else and is trying to end it before you do, don't ask me why but it does hurt less when you are the dumper rather than the dumpee. Having just moved 14 hrs away, I do understand the stress distance can have on a relationship, if he wasn't moving out here I know I'd be having second thoughts about the relationship in general. How do I know that cause I already have those feelings inside, it's like you are trying to protect yourself from being hurt when he decides to dump you cause he met this cute little blond tandem student. Of course, then I smack myself on the head and remind myself that he already turned in notice with NASA and I have his cutaway rig in the toy room closet. The thing is I have the comfort of knowing he is going to be joining me here, what are her options with your relationship other than being far apart with no end in sight.On the other hand she might have been looking for an out and now with you out of town, she has the "reasons" that she needs to end the relationship. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites fasterfaller 0 #22 June 13, 2002 So you got the "I still love you but I am going to rip your heart out and stomp on it talk".Cut away man,cut away.Now that you live at the beach you will find more sand,no need to take sand to the beach. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites thrillseek 0 #23 June 13, 2002 Beating a dead horse here but,Been There, Done That.CUT AWAY!!Find a reserve.(besides, you can spend more money jumping without her)I wouldn't be so hard core about it if it hadn't happened to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites hagar 0 #24 June 13, 2002 QuoteFind someone else real quick as a "pivot" even if you don't really like them to make her jealous and want you back. This strategy also works to get dates in general.Why would anyone create an intentional two out situation?- the horribleThe post whore wannabe previously knows as Haeloth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites E150 0 #25 June 13, 2002 So it seems to have co-insided with you moving away to work on the DZ. Maybe she is doing this now because she is scared of the future. She might be expecting (a month down the line) you to say, 'Hey, this is not going to work, we are just too far away form eachother'! ??Ask her a few questions, that's only fair. If she won't answer straight, then that says it all. So, why did you take a job so far away from her? How often could you see her, if you stayed together?You should accept what she says like a man. If you are ment to be together she will realise her mistake and try to rectify it. From my experiance you can not force a situation, you have to go with the flow even if you don't like it. Remember, there are plenty of potential solemates out there. Also, the hurt does go away & time heals. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
hottamaly 1 #4 June 12, 2002 It's hard to figure without knowing more about it but just from what little you have said, it sounds like she feels she's loseing you in a way. Does she skydive? You are now working FULL time at a dz, you jump, and, you just moved further away...just my .02 worthSKYDIVING GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pop 0 #5 June 12, 2002 Cut her away. No need to waste time. ----------"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he doesn't exist!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #6 June 12, 2002 Look cutaway, grab cutaway, Peel...Well...you get the idea the INTERNET comes in any color you'd like Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rgoper 0 #7 June 12, 2002 time to get under "a different canopy" this one's got a malfuntion.....chachink! arch, and flare Richard"Gravity Is My Friend" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #8 June 12, 2002 Carter's Rule #1 of Dating:Never, EVER go back to an ex-. Once she says she is having doubts and feels it won't work out, it's over - like the others have said - cutaway - her words just started the relationship on the downward spiral of death. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jimbo 0 #9 June 12, 2002 Do you think she's not telling you the truth? Don't beg, just accept it and move on.-Jim Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sinkster 0 #10 June 12, 2002 amen brother! preach it!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #11 June 12, 2002 QuoteDo you think she's not telling you the truth? Yeah that is the number one warning sign - the combination of:"I don't think I feel the same about you" and "But I still love you." - that usually means she is torn between her feelings for you and for some other sod. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sinkster 0 #12 June 12, 2002 Quote Yeah that is the number one warning sign - the combination of:"I don't think I feel the same about you" and "But I still love you." - that usually means she is torn between her feelings for you and for some other sod. That's why u need the "pivot" point so she will decide on you just because someone else might take you before she can decide. Basically the old "someone else wants him so he must be worth something" trick.Quote some other sod. lol, eloquently put. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdrew20012001 0 #13 June 12, 2002 *** She says it is not because of the move or else she would say so, she says she just doesn't feel the same way about me anymore but she still loves and cares for me. It came as a complete shock to me and I'm deffinately not willing to just suddenly give up when this comes out of nowhere. She also says there is no one else that she is interested in. ***I hate that. I think people should be honest: "it's not you, it's me....I don't like you"Drewfus McDoofus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Derekbox 0 #14 June 12, 2002 See thread on "Dating skydivers"My opinion:Option 1) She skydives. Try to fix it.Option 2) She doesnt. Forget herOption 3) She doesnt skydive, but you really like her, dude its 2000'. Decision time. If all else fails, cutaway....->"Will work for jumps"->Daytona Beach Fl ->DZ: Deland->AIM: Derekbox Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ShortBus 0 #15 June 12, 2002 a spinning mal is something not to fuck with. If you got put on your back cut away theres nothin else you can doca-chink"would you rather have beer or total happiness in your life?" "hmmm what kind of beer?" Homer j..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dove 0 #16 June 12, 2002 To me it sounds like there is someone she's interested in. She probably hasn't done anything but the temptation is there and it is stronger since you aren't there. Long distance relationships suck anyway. I say cutaway and find someone who IS sure of you. dove Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,380 #17 June 12, 2002 >2. Find someone else real quick as a "pivot" even if you don't really like them >to make her jealous and want you back. This strategy also works to get dates in> general. In my experience this never works. Women can sense desperation. When you go out with friends and _aren't_ looking for a relationship - that's when you find them.-bill von Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sinkster 0 #18 June 12, 2002 Quote In my experience this never works. Women can sense desperation. When you go out with friends and _aren't_ looking for a relationship - that's when you find them. Experience noted. The only problem then is when the wrong women come after you: Evil seductive temptresses! (my momma says women are the devil!)Right now I have my own stalker because someone brought their friend to the drop zone and apparently she's infatuated with the "dare devil" skydiver type and since I'm normally a very nice and open person I guess I looked like a sucker for her touchy-feely antics if you know what I mean. =) I can't say that I didn't enjoy the attention, but I started thinking with the wrong head and made the mistake of giving her my contact info instead of *just* getting hers. One of the TMs was hitting on her looking for a shag and if that's what I wanted I *know* I'd be set but I just don't have the heart to do it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHixxx 0 #19 June 12, 2002 If she doesn't feel the same way she used to, there is little or nothing you can do... Cutaway!-Hixxx"Woman... Wu -mon... Whoa - man! She stole my heart and my cat" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #20 June 13, 2002 Hummmm she has someone else, the move affected it, and ever hear the line........"you are the nicest guy I have ever met?" My advice.......go to plan "B" let er rip. chachink! Buh bye babay buh bye.Then don't begin a new relationship until you have recovered form this one. That isnt fair to you, nor the SO. Cheers dude!Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but rather by the moments that take our breath away. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 0 #21 June 13, 2002 Yep, she either has someone else or is scared that you may have found someone else and is trying to end it before you do, don't ask me why but it does hurt less when you are the dumper rather than the dumpee. Having just moved 14 hrs away, I do understand the stress distance can have on a relationship, if he wasn't moving out here I know I'd be having second thoughts about the relationship in general. How do I know that cause I already have those feelings inside, it's like you are trying to protect yourself from being hurt when he decides to dump you cause he met this cute little blond tandem student. Of course, then I smack myself on the head and remind myself that he already turned in notice with NASA and I have his cutaway rig in the toy room closet. The thing is I have the comfort of knowing he is going to be joining me here, what are her options with your relationship other than being far apart with no end in sight.On the other hand she might have been looking for an out and now with you out of town, she has the "reasons" that she needs to end the relationship. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fasterfaller 0 #22 June 13, 2002 So you got the "I still love you but I am going to rip your heart out and stomp on it talk".Cut away man,cut away.Now that you live at the beach you will find more sand,no need to take sand to the beach. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thrillseek 0 #23 June 13, 2002 Beating a dead horse here but,Been There, Done That.CUT AWAY!!Find a reserve.(besides, you can spend more money jumping without her)I wouldn't be so hard core about it if it hadn't happened to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hagar 0 #24 June 13, 2002 QuoteFind someone else real quick as a "pivot" even if you don't really like them to make her jealous and want you back. This strategy also works to get dates in general.Why would anyone create an intentional two out situation?- the horribleThe post whore wannabe previously knows as Haeloth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
E150 0 #25 June 13, 2002 So it seems to have co-insided with you moving away to work on the DZ. Maybe she is doing this now because she is scared of the future. She might be expecting (a month down the line) you to say, 'Hey, this is not going to work, we are just too far away form eachother'! ??Ask her a few questions, that's only fair. If she won't answer straight, then that says it all. So, why did you take a job so far away from her? How often could you see her, if you stayed together?You should accept what she says like a man. If you are ment to be together she will realise her mistake and try to rectify it. From my experiance you can not force a situation, you have to go with the flow even if you don't like it. Remember, there are plenty of potential solemates out there. Also, the hurt does go away & time heals. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
