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ECVZZ

OK - now my kid's pissed...need opinions

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yeah, I've been thinking about the prepay ones for my 15 yr old after he decided to walk home on his first day of school and got lost for 4 hours (he just moved here from NJ). If I do get him one, it'll get just enough minutes to call home or me call him.
I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

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i had a cell phone in high school, well my senior year anyays, my parents made me pay for it and it did come in handu when i didn't have change for the phone or needed to ask if it was alright if i stayed out later or went to a friends house....come to think of it i think i payed like 30 a month for 60 minutes..which at that time wasn't to bad........ i'd vote for the prepayed one if ya have any say in it.....and hell if he decides not to leave it at moms house when he comes over just "hold" it for him untill he goes back.....

best of luck with things... i remeber how i was at 14 and i am glad i will be a long time before my yet to be concieved kid reaches tht age.....

______________________________________
"i have no reader's digest version"

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The prepaid cell phones are great - that's what I have, and I got it primarily so I wouldn't get surprised with huge airtime bills (and also so I don't have yet another bill to pay every month). I plan to replace it with another, more "advanced" prepaid phone in the near future and I'll probably give my current phone to my son. He has a job and few bills; he can afford the airtime far more than I can.

There's no way in hell I'd have paid for a cell phone or cell airtime, prepaid or not, for him before now - and again, he'll get to buy the airtime when he gets my current phone. When you aren't the one paying for the airtime it's very easy to spend far too long talking on the damn thing. And we all know how much teenagers like to talk on the phone...

Pay phones aren't nearly as widely available as they used to be, but there are still enough of them out there, around here anyway, that when he's out and about and needed to get ahold of me he's been able to find one.

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I think the key here is your feeling that he will get in trouble with a phone. Go with your heart. If you don't feel you're being paranoid or over-reacting, put your foot down.

When people have been conditioned to follow the rules, it's easier to pick and choose which ones to break. If it's agains the rules to have one at school. That should be it. Especially if he's kind of asking your permission to break a rule. "My Dad knew I had the phone even if it's against the rules" can be the basis of breaking any other rules of the child's choosing. "If it's ok for you to break that rule, how come it's not ok for me to break this rule?".

Trust your gut instinct. And good luck.

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Ok, first thing, you can't really tell him he can't have one if it's his mom buying it, because she WILL buy it and he WILL take it. If you tell him to leave it at his moms house, he'll just hide it in his backpack when he's at your house too. He will bring it home, you just won't know it. You might as well just be ok with it, let him have it, then make random calls to his cell, just to let him know that by having the phone, it's one way you can always get ahold of him. I give it a month of this before he's begging you to take it off his hands...B|


Just my opinion of course, I could be wrong

S.E.X. party #1

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "f*#k, what a ride".

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i'm with the 'pick your battles' crowd. the phone won't cost you anything, it might be convenient for you to be able to call him, and if it gets confiscated, you aren't out anything and he learned a lesson. i'm in sort of the same boat, i have custody of my two kids, the ex has them every other weekend, plus the march break and all summer. so dad's the hard ass, making them get out of bed every morning and off to school, do homework and go to bed early. time with mom is stay up late, laze around all day, tv, vcr and phone in their rooms, the whole bit. the kids are 11 and 13 now and it's getting to be more of a challenge. look at the big picture, the cell phone probably isn't that big of a deal. there will be more battles, save yourself for the big ones.
"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

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I'm with the fool on this one, let him have his phone, but when you know he's with his pals, call him up to check on him, tell him you love him etc.
He'll soon give up on it...hopefully....

Dunno about the US, but here in the UK its pretty common for kids to have a cell phone, especially 'pay as you go' ones.
--------------------

He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson

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Tough call. My two oldest daughters (13 & 14) have both a prepaid cell phone. As they have to go to school with their bicycle to the next village each day, we want to make sure, that they can call us, if something happened. They each get about USD 14 worth of phone time each month and so I don't have to hassle with phone-bills. They have come very handy also for me and my wife, that way we can get in touch with them when ever needed. It's not so much a social thing that they have to have on to be cool but more a convenience thing.

I guess there is always a reason to justify something or the other.

Being a parent is a growing up experience...

...
..
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how high can you fly with broken wings ...
life's a journey not a destination

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"Being a parent is a growing up experience..."

Ain't that the truth, after years of a Peter Pan existence, I find myself having to finally mature, and by gawsh its a bit of a shock to the system.....
--------------------

He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson

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There are times coming up in the near future that you may want him to keep in touch or you may want to call him to check up on him. When you are done, set reasonable rules for the use of the cell phone and stick to them. In time he will become more dependant on the phone which as a parent will give you more control. B|



The key to walking on water... Is knowing where the rocks are

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Ok - you don't have/see the need for having one - thats fine but just out of curiosity what do you consider a need?

Does your opinion match the ones of your kids or if they need an opinion you just give it to them?:ph34r:

Kids are progressing with time - are we?

...
..
.
how high can you fly with broken wings ...
life's a journey not a destination

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I work on a project with mobile phones / cellphones, and part of our work is to keep up to date with the research regarding health and the use of these phones.

There are no consistent findings yet, although the more recent publications seem to indicate that there is no health danger.
If you can influence the decision into what sort of phone to get, try for one with a low SAR( Specific Absorption Ratio), and maybe also get a handsfree headset (there are a few that limit the radiation)

I think the general opinion so far is that they should not really be used by 'children' under sixteen, as their skull by the ears is still thickening (sounds impossible)

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Thanks for all the input everyone! You've given me lots of food for thought. I can see the advantages of him having a cell, but for now, I'm going to stick with my original decision.

If his Mom insists that he have one, he'll have to leave it with her when he comes home.

Greg

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Speaking from a HS teacher point of view, I would take it first chance everytime I saw it and wouldn't return it until the parent comes to get it. Trust me, when the parent has to come to school for little things a couple of times, there WILL be changes.

You made a good choice.

:)
http://www.brandonandlaura.com

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This is your decision to make and I respect you for sticking to your guns; however, I hope you don't set yourself up for trouble. His mom is going to buy him the phone so you might as well take advantage of it. Let him bring it to your house but keep it on the counter when he is there. That way you can see that he isn't sneaking it to school. (As a teacher it would be mine if I even got a sneak from someone that he had it!) Then when he goes somewhere and might need it (movies for example) he can take it and use it. If you aren't paying for it why not take advantage of it. By being open minded about it while setting parameters for it's use when at your home you wind up with the best of both worlds and your child doesn't have to start out sneaking and lying.

Just my opinion.

Lisa

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

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Hi: You made the right decision. Plus at his age he really wants a parent, not another friend. Hold tough, explain why you are opposed and case closed. I do like the idea of him paying for the whole bit, that will slow things down. Hang tough, whoever said it was going to be easy?

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Thanks for all the input everyone! You've given me lots of food for thought. Greg



I must say in my slight existence on this NG especially this forum I'd come to know y'all as not the place to find a serious answer, but you have impressed me with this thread. Not one single smart ass remark, just good knowledgable opinions.


Huh?!? What cloud?!? Oh that!!! That's just Industrial Haze
Alex M.

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"Not one single smart ass remark, just good knowledgable opinions. "

Methinks its now only a matter of time before the usual suspects show up and prove you wrong....;)
--------------------

He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson

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