0
Jessica

Ravings of a madwoman.

Recommended Posts

I'm so tired of working weekends I can't even see straight. Or maybe it's just that I need new glasses.

So I've always chewed my nails, but it gets worse when I'm nervous, and I've apparently been really nervous lately because my fingers look like I've been using a cheese grater as an emery board.

I went to the drugstore a few days ago, and they sold me this stuff that you put on babies' fingers to make them stop sucking them. I brushed it on, per instructions, and caught myself with my fingers in my mouth 20 times that night anyway.

So I just went in the bathroom (I'm at work) and poured the whole bottle on my fingertips. Now my fingers are orange. And smell funny. Perhaps the smell alone will make them less appealing for chewing.

Hmm, it's not working. I'm being driven mad by the urge to bite my fingernails. Perhaps this is what alcoholics feel like on their first day off the sauce.

I just sent the following IMs to a co-worker:

Jess: *summoning satan out of boredom*
Jess: *playing backgammon with satan*
Jess: *watching "Designing Women" with satan*
Jess: *tired of hearing satan whine about being bored*
Jess: *directing monkeys to rip satan's head off*
Jess: omg. I just killed satan.
Jess: Now who will watch "Golden Girls" with me.

I often defend IM to management, explaining that we need it to communicate efficiently with co-workers.

No comment needed: www.mycathatesyou.com.

OK, let's see what's moving on the wire....

OMAHA, Neb. - Marg Helgenberger fantasized about becoming a star while plunging knives into beef carcasses during her summer job at a meatpacking plant in her Nebraska hometown.

Indeed.

Back as events warrant.
Skydiving is for cool people only

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So what's REALLY on your mind, dear?

Why don't you concoct a bizarre, misleading, unfactual, erroneus news story about someone none of us has ever heard of, and start another scandelous episode in history???

At least I'd be entertained for a while!



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote


Why don't you concoct a bizarre, misleading, unfactual, erroneus news story about someone none of us has ever heard of, and start another scandelous episode in history???



if anyone from SC are reading this... Joe and Laurie are getting married, b/c Laurie is pregnant with Joe's baby.

Just a rumor:)

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

just don't wash your hands after you use the bathroom next time



Also something to think about next time you shake someone's hand... did they or didn't they? Course we could also go into gas stations... and resturants... oh oh and fast food joints.... er maybe I should quit, I am about to disgust myself[:/]

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Viking, Viking, Viking....>:(

Quote

sounds like classic oral fixation.



then

Quote

Try chewing on a straw or a somthing



Here was a chance to help our friend Phree and you recommend sucking on straws? Jess, I am sure Phree will help you with your "oral fixation!";)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I'll buy all your food and beer for you next weekend




dude, since your gona be so kind to jess, wana hook me up too???well just sunday, don['t need the whole wekend.....

______________________________________
"i have no reader's digest version"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I bite my nails too. It's a bad habit, but it's a hell of a lot better than picking your nose. :|



Thats true.........talking about true and noses....I hear rumours that you guys at The Dal have tried a nose funnel?:P

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

HEY !! Who the FUCK are you, and what did you do with Seth ??!!?!!??


Don't worry Don, I was set up. But this could work to my advantage... giving her a false sense of security and all. I'm actually compiling the list of ways to make her cry as we speak - one of them invovles salt and a red-hot poker.....
it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0