Showering rituals

[CrazyIvan 0]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN.

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note -- must
do more sit-ups.
4. Use toilet.
5. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
6. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
7. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
8. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until
red.
10. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
11. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come
off).
12. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get
it waxed instead.
13. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you get scalded.
14. Turn off shower.
15. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
16. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair
in super absorbent second towel.
17. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
18. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
19. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed are and then
sashay to bedroom.
20. Spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN.

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake
wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Admire
the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
9. Realize that you didn't use the toilet before entering the shower, so pee
into the drain.
10. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
11. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
12. Wash your butt.
13. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
14. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
15. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the
floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
17. Partially dry off.
18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.
19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your
wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound
again.
22. Throw wet towel on the bed.
23. Take 2 minutes to get dressed in the same clothes that you had on
before the shower.

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[hagar 0]

clicky
clicky

It is getting harder to find jokes that hasn't been posted before, especially good ones.

---
PCSS #10

[Ian84 0]

1. wake up at 7.20.......check using the central heating system that school has not reduced budget(yet again)

2. run to washroom with towel SECURELY fastened around waist.

3. position yourself so as to be in line for one of the 4 showers shared by 32 boys.

4. Attempt to be in shower after water temperature has reduced to below boiling point but before it turns so cold that you forget your name.

5. Face wall in order to shield from blasts of fire extinguisher and missiles being hurled in an effort to encourage your swift completion of shower.

6. No time to dry off......once again securely fasten towel around waist and leg it back to dormitory.

7. Get dressed.....checking over shoulder every 3-5 seconds.

8. Get to breakfast before milk runs out.

[PLFXpert 0]

As I mentioned the first time this thread came up, I fall more into the guy category.

Clothes in the bedroom, only not in a pile, folded or thrown in hamper.

Walk nakie to bathroom flashing na-na's at the boyfriend making "wooo-woo" sound.

No botanicals, for me, just cheapo suave coconut shampoo/conditioner.

Make shower mohican and pull back curtain to see self in mirror, if music is on, do dance, too.

OK, I DO like the huge towel the size of a small African country, but it doesn't stay on long, jsut to dry.

Rinse face in cold water in sink and wipe down water splashed.

Take off hair and body towel, flip head over and back, then walk back, nakie to bedroom, again, flashing na-na's at boyfriend making "woo-woo" sound

An hour later.....get dressed

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[CrazyIvan 0]

One of the advantages of leaving alone is that after showering you don't have to dry off...IT'S NAKED TIME!!!, nothing like walking around the house in the buff.

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[PLFXpert 0]

Nah, nothing like teasing the boyfriend, I say and who says I can't still walk around nakie?

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[CrazyIvan 0]

Quote

Nah, nothing like teasing the boyfriend, I say and who says I can't still walk around nakie?

Teasing?, HA!, if you did that to me, you'd be playing with fire

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[PLFXpert 0]

He he he...I'm a PYRO!

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[CrazyIvan 0]

Quote

He he he...I'm a PYRO!

then....IT'S NAKED TIME!!!!

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.