Patience with my neighbours, Mr Bush

[alpha 0]

This is beautiful!



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Patience with my neighbours, Mr Bush
Terry Jones

Sunday January 26, 2003

The Observer

I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I!

For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.

As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.

They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!

And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.

That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.

Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq.

Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror.

What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.

Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?

It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out.

My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up. Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.

It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

[Zinger 0]

I would much rather be a neighbor with G.W. Bush then a neighbor of Saddam Hussein or any of his offspring and that is a fact.

------Have a good one!--------

[rhino 0]

Why is it beautiful.. Sounds lame to me?

[CrazyIvan 0]

WTF?

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[Dirtsucks 0]

WHATEVER DUDE!!!!!!!

I think I'm dumb, I think I'm dumb, I think I'm dumb...

[skycop 0]

Another well articulated point from our friends on the left.
One suggestion, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY AND LET THE GROWN-UPS LEAD!!!!

There is a poster on the front page of this website, www.usafammo.com (non-clicky) not logic, just fun! that sums it all up!
Peace Out!
Jim

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[alpha 0]

I thought it was beautiful because it effectively argued a very important point... We should be very careful how we carry ourselves now. We should analyze how are we perceived in the world. What goes around comes around. You think US'd would be the lone super power 10, 20, 50 years from now?
It did atleast shut some people up here! Hard to argue this logic.

Now can someone explain why did it seem so lame to them? Was it too hard to understand?

-alphadog

[skycop 0]

Hard to argue this logic? Hard to understand?
Hmm.........if you think this is logic, I'd love to sell ya some swamp land in Florida!
This stuff reminds me of the "See Spot Run" books I love so much!

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[alpha 0]

I'd like to make an offer on that swamp land. How much did it cost you?

What did NOT make sense to you anyway? Argue the point NOT hide behind stupid comments.

-alphadog

[Gawain 0]

Quote

It did atleast shut some people up here!

Didn't shut us up...we're just more in tune with the fact that neighborhood rules do not apply to geopolitics and visa-versa.

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[alpha 0]

Now we're talking... So you are saying that the article makes logical sense except that logic does not apply to countries. That is an interesting point-of-view. By that assertion Iraq was right to occupy Kuwait. Soviets didnt do anything wrong in attacking Afghanistan. We're talking might is right here. Maybe Germans weren't so wrong in taking over half of Europe and more. They had the firepower ... french and brits were unfair (treaty of versailles), Stalin asked for it, jews were a nuisance and in the end they were a dominant race just like Americans are the dominant nation right now.

Get real!

[rhino 0]

Quote

WTF?

PLEASE PLEASE don't tell me I need to explain why this is ignorant and not even in the same realm of logic as the situation as Iraq.

[skycop 0]

If you try to explain, you're called stupid. It's the typical "I can shout you down" debate style. I prefer sarcasm because it's much more fun! Everytime I try to debate someone with these views the facts really don't matter. The situation will be twisted and the mind shut to any other point of view. The moral equivalent run wild!
This is very complex, and not nearly as simple as this article would like it to be.
As far as swamp land in Florida, I really wish I had some!! With the weather here the way it is, at least I'd be warm!!!
Blue Skies!

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[DivaSkyChick 0]

LOL There is definitely a commitment to Bush on this forum.

I hope everyone remembers that one of the responsibilities of people in a democracy is to question your representatives - following your leaders blindly might seem patriotic but it's not. Most of you who support Bush also support the NRA. You support the right to bear arms to protect yourself, at least as far as the constitution is concerned, from your own government should it cease to be run democratically. How will you know if you don't ask questions???

The parody that Alpha posted was meant to help us look at the subject from another perspective. It's important to try to do that. Don't you think?

---
www.facebook.com/mandyhamptonfitch

[skycop 0]

Thanks for making my point! WTF does the NRA have to do with any of the stuff covered in this thread? Classic "bait and switch" so to speak.
I do support the president at this point in time BUT, only after taking many things into consideration, doing my homework, and looking at historical facts.
Not just bitching for the sake of bitching and basing my views on emotion.
IMHO
Blue Skies

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[alpha 0]

PLEASE PLEASE don't tell me I need to explain why 

this is ignorant and not even in the same realm of

logic as the situation as Iraq.

You cannot explain because you don't understand it or else you would have tried. PLEASE PLEASE explain why this is ignorant and not even in the same realm of logic as the situation as Iraq !?!?

... mind being shut to any other point of view.

Hardly the case... I'm searcing for a point of view that proves me wrong but so far no one seems to be able to justify a war based on facts. They just know it is complex and justified.

If you try to explain, you're called stupid.

You did NOT try to debate anything. You just tried to sell some swamp land which was deemed stupid. I apologize if that caused any distress!

The simple fact is that we're brought up to not question anything that the govt does (except for when the body bags coming back home... NAM). 911 was uncalled for but in the end it was a result of our govt's actions. What we cant defend we call complex and go back to our lives. What this redneck leading us does right now will come back and effect us in big ways later.
-alphadog

[DivaSkyChick 0]

Quote

Thanks for making my point! WTF does the NRA have to do with any of the stuff covered in this thread? Classic "bait and switch" so to speak.

Second time I have to ask this of someone here today - Are you kidding me? You honestly are going to pick that out of my post to argue with? LOL Talk about bait and switch!

But seriously, I'm glad you're basing your opinion on your research. I have no problem with your view at all, just with people who hide behind patriotism instead of really looking at the issues.

---
www.facebook.com/mandyhamptonfitch

[wmw999 2,117]

Liza, while I'm with you on whether it's time to go to war, 9/11 was no more our fault than it's a woman's fault that she was raped when she was wearing a tight skirt. Really.

A terrorist will use what he needs to in order to justify what he wants to do anyway. Some world conditions encourage more people to let the inner terrorist out (just like some urban conditions seem to encourage some guys to let the inner rapist out).

The fact that I'm using the male gender in this doesn't mean I think only guys are capable of this. However, these specific examples (terrorist and rapist) are pretty overwhelmingly male.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[LouDiamond 1]

Quote

However, these specific examples (terrorist and rapist) are pretty overwhelmingly male.

Not trying to hijack here but actually there are a good deal of female terrorists. There is a book called "shoot the women first" that is no longer in print but it can be found that deals with the women in various terrorist organizations and their perspective into why they do what they do. The reason for the title of the book is that is what was told to many CT units since most males tend to not view females as threats in a CT situation when in fact it has been well documented that the females are in fact the most brutal and blood thirsty of terrorists to be encountered. This is attributed to the fact that they are already at a disadvantage by being female and compensate for it by over compensating in areas of brutality and fervor.


The book is quite well written (female author) and still has very solid principals in todays female terrorists around the world.

"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required"
Some people dream about flying, I live my dream
SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING

[skycop 0]

The last paragraph sums it up! ( I am too stupid to figure out how to quote on here though).
Blame America and name call.
Truely a grasp of facts!

In this forum I prefer sarcasm and inference, not as much typing required!

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[Jimbo 0]

Quote

You cannot explain because you don't understand it or else you would have tried. PLEASE PLEASE explain why this is ignorant and not even in the same realm of logic as the situation as Iraq !?!?

This is the second time you tried to tell another what he thinks or is saying. If you expect to have an intelligent argument on this topic I suggest that you grow up a bit.

-
Jim

"Like" - The modern day comma
Good bye, my friends. You are missed.

[kallend 1,621]

Quote

Quote

WTF?

PLEASE PLEASE don't tell me I need to explain why this is ignorant and not even in the same realm of logic as the situation as Iraq.

I politely disagree with you. I thought it was a very apt metaphor for the situation as it is TODAY. Now, if President Bush comes clean and tells us the real reason for all this, or shows some credible evidence, that will be different.

A colleague of mine is convinced that Bush/Powell were set-up by the CIA into presenting as "evidence" a lot of stuff of really dubious credibility.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[rhino 0]

Quote

I politely disagree with you. I thought it was a very apt metaphor for the situation as it is TODAY. Now, if President Bush comes clean and tells us the real reason for all this, or shows some credible evidence, that will be different.

Your neighbor doesn't want to kill you with VX gas. You neighbor hasn't murdered hundreds of thousands of his own people.

[charliezulu 0]

You make some interesting comments about effective argument against some of the respondents up to this point. Maybe you should look into starting your thread with something other than an analogy that really has nothing to do with geopolitical machinations in the real world. If you were trying to get a reaction, you could have just said that you stand for peace in a different way than President Bush plans to attain it. I personally disagree with your point of view, and like to debate these particular points with someone that uses effective debating skills rather than bear-baiting a thread with a pointless quote. Just my $.02.

CZ

[Speer 0]

***The simple fact is that we're brought up to not question anything that the govt does (except for when the body bags coming back home... NAM). 911 was uncalled for but in the end it was a result of our govt's actions. What we cant defend we call complex and go back to our lives. What this redneck leading us does right now will come back and effect us in big ways later.
-alphadog