Friday funnies

[SpeedRacer 1]

Subject: Fw: The 2003 Darwin Awards
>
> For your edification, I enclose the annual Darwin awards.
>
> For those of you not familiar with the Darwin awards, they are
awarded
> annually for the most extreme acts of (occasionally terminal)
reported
> stupidity - they are now in for 2003...enjoy.
>
> First Place - The 2003 Darwin Award Winner:
>
> ** When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
> during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
> Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the
> barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked....
>
> And now, the honorable mentions:
>
> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
> machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
> insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one
of
> its men to have a look for him self. He tried the machine out and
lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>
> 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
> driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
> transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit
> his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
> everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
> to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
> excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
> discovered for 3 days.
>
> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
> serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how
he
> received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
> to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he
was
> hit.
>
> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the
> counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
> the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which
> the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
> fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
he
> got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives
> you money, was a crime committed?)
>
> 7. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
> carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
> "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone
> was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it
> and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd
> been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before
> the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In
memory
> of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved with
> the words, Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"
>
> 8. Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window,
grab
> some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
> his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
> would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the
liquor
> store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
> videotape.
>
> 9. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
> grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
> woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
> Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
> the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
> the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
> replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
> from."
>
> 10. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
> Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
> demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
> open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
> onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
> man, frustrated, walked away.
>
> 11. Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
> running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck.
Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license
plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

Speed Racer
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[SpeedRacer 1]

Top 10 Reasons Dorothy Was Greeted As A Liberator

> >
> >10. The Wicked Witch of the East actually HAD weapons of mass
> >destruction.
> >
> >9. Rebuilding contracts awarded locally to Lullaby League and
Lollipop
> >Guild.
> >
> >8. Dorothy apologized.
> >
> >7. Evil oppressor legally verified as "really most sincerely dead"
> >rather than "maybe dead."
> >
> >6. Dorothy got it that she wasn't in Kansas any more.
> >
> >5. Did not install Toto as interim governor of Munchkinland.
> >
> >4. Went home as soon as possible.
> >
> >3. No interest in Munchkinland's natural resources.
> >
> >2. Dorothy wasn't taking orders from the one with no brain.
> >
> >1. No collateral damage.

Speed Racer
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[TB99 0]

I thought these were cute funny pics!

Trailer 11/12 was the best. Thanks for the memories ... you guys rocked!

[TB99 0]

Last one ...

Trailer 11/12 was the best. Thanks for the memories ... you guys rocked!

[flyboyshell 0]

I enjoyed those!!!!!

Hehe

Blue Skies!!!

FlyBoyShell
EarthBound FreeFly Suits

[Gawain 0]

Excellent...all of them...thanks!

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[Dragontail 0]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Thanks

[D22369 0]

Most excellent!!!!

Roy

They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.