Deep thoughts

[DropZoneDick 0]

"Cats aren't really clean,
they're covered with cat spit!"

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website: www.dickmcmahon.com

[FallingILweenie 0]

if you ever drop your keys in molten lava, forget about them cuz man, they're gone.

[bbarnhouse 0]

Bwahhhhhhhh yeah but cat spit (saliva)also has certain cleaning enzymes ....then again...everyone's perception of clean is different. LOL

[Jessica 0]

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Skydiving is for cool people only

[skydive84 0]

Twisted! - I like it!!!

Adi

[hookitt 0]

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[bbarnhouse 0]

When asked for a penny for your thoughts, and you throw your .02 in, what happens to the other penny? is it like what happens when you only get one sock back out of the washing machine?

[hookitt 0]

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[Gawain 0]

Whenever a kid asks me why it rains, I think it's kinda cute to tell them it's God crying. When they ask why God is crying, I think it's cute to tell them, "Probably because of something you did."

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[hookitt 0]

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[sunshine 2]

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

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meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[riddler 0]

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

[hookitt 0]

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[sunshine 2]

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

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meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[airtwardo 6]

The more you run over a kitten in the road...



The flatter it gets.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[blondeflyer7 0]

Who is normal~what is normal

even the guy that wrote the definition~was he normal

Think about that one

[Unstable 8]

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.



Think about this one......
sds

=========Shaun ==========

[hookitt 0]

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[Kris 0]

"One time Bob landed on an ant and we all laughed.
And then I thought, what if I was an ant, and Bob landed on me?"

Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and
Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™

[Laurel 0]

If your parachutes don't open just remember to grab hold of the grass so you don't bounce.

.....................................................................
PMS#28, Pelogrande Rodriguez#1074
My Pink M

[crewkeith 0]

i like that one

The skies are no longer safe

I'm back

[Blahr 0]

Whenever something goes screeching across the room and latches itself onto someones neck, and they start screaming and trying to pull it off, I have to laugh because..what is that thing?

[Blahr 0]

If you were a cowboy and you were dragging someone behind you on your horse, I'll bet it would really piss you off if you looked back and he was reading a magazine.

[lawrocket 3]

I told my little brother one day that I would take him to Disneyland. He was so excited. Instead, I thought it would be fun to take him to an old burned down barn, and tell him Disneyland burned down. He cried and cried, but I knew he was laughing inside.

I would have taken him to the real Disneyland, but it was getting late, so I took him home...

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Tee 0]

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.


Tee

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