relationships gone bad

[tandembrent 0]

how do you deal with a downward spiraling relationship when both individuals involved keep hurting one another, when both care deeply for each other , but can't seem to stop the cycle of pain??
is it best to walk away, or continue to try and repair the damage?

~~~~Green grass and high clouds forever~~~~
no matter where you go, there you are!

[Jimbo 0]

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=699732#699732

-
Jim

"Like" - The modern day comma
Good bye, my friends. You are missed.

[misskriss 0]

OH God.......been there done that........and it doesn't matter how much you care.....the point is.....if it's really love then why would you continue to hurt each other. Love isn't about hurting. I'm tired of hurting and finally got the guts to do something about it. Doesn't mean you won't stop caring about the person but as I've heard so many times......the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. I know it's hard...

[themitchyone 0]

Could it be that one or both of you want to move on, but are afraid to make the final move and do it? If so, don't wait until you guys hate each other. Just let it be.

"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girl's sports such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing." - Homer Simpson

[Darius11 12]

That’s hard.
If by hurting you mean you have disrespected each other then I hate to tell you once that happens there is no going back it will happen again and again. If it’s just fights but in a civil way and you care for each other you can work it out if you both key word being BOTH wan to.
If not walk away it will hurt but there is nothing like wasting time you can never get that back.

Peace and good luck

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[eeneR 1]

Bottom line, there is a large amout of obvious agression for what ever reason, Maybe something happend that started the cycle. Maybe one person did something to the other that hurt them is such a way that burned, and the other didnt realize that or didnt feel that this particular incedent was a big deal. When things like that happen they will fester and become a major source of anger. Once that cycle starts, its hard to stop it unless the offending party understands the situation.

The best option is to get away before things are said and done that you or they may feel miserable about.

She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway."
eeneR
TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto

[McDuck 0]

Formerly married to a person who brought out the worst in me, and vice versa. You know in your heart what the answer is. The problem is knowing what to do about it. It took me six years to figure it out, and we kept getting better and better at hurting each other. Those were, by FAR, not the proudest years of my life.

Edited for grammar.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[skytrixaz 0]

I’m sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time in your relationship. Without knowing the relationship details (ages, single/married, prior relationship histories, communication styles…) here are a few thoughts:

You are entitled to a caring and high quality relationship. The relationship will function to the extent to which it is built on a solid friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved. First, you’ll need to figure out what is causing you pain, problems and frustrations in this relationship. Of course, your girlfriend will have to do the same…a mutual agreement to resolve the issues at hand. Second, you’ll need to accept and acknowledge full ownership of your contributions to where this relationship is at the present moment. Don’t get stuck with who is right or wrong. Just figure out if whether what you’re both doing now is working or not working. Negotiate what can be done to accommodate both your needs and your girlfriend's needs.

Hope you find a solution.

g

[sunshine 2]

Sometimes love isn't enough to stay together.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[Faber 0]

do you see the door.. just walk away.. no reason that a relation ship should be like that

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

[vonSanta 0]

Yeah Faber - those ain't love handles - it's cutaway and silver!

Pull 'em, get out, pay his/her momma a bottle of spirits, repack, jump again.

Santa Von GrossenArsch
I only come in one flavour
ohwaitthatcanbemisunderst

[WrongWay 0]

Get out. What's the point of being together if neither of you are happy? Sure, you may love this person, and care about them, but if you do, then show them by making them happy, letting them go. It's much easier said than done, but trust me, give it a week and you'll feel much better.

KUDOS AND VIBES

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

[tandembrent 0]

thanks everyone for the wisdom. you are all correct and very helpful. we will get beyond and prevail.

green grass and high clouds forever!

if you see her , tell i'm sorry!

~~~~Green grass and high clouds forever~~~~
no matter where you go, there you are!