Shark 0 #1 November 7, 2003 Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky. If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe. Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee. When one engine fails on a twin-engine aeroplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash. Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club. What is the similarity between air traffic controllers (ATC) and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies. Never trade luck for skill. The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?" "Where are we?" and "Oh, s--t!" Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers. Airspeed, altitude, or brains: two are always needed to complete the flight successfully. A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication. Mankind has a perfect record in aviation: we never left one up there! Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries. Flying the aeroplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything about it. When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, you forgot something. Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day. Advice given to Royal Air Force pilots during World War II: When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible. The Piper Cub is the safest aeroplane in the world: it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot) A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut) If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatics and test pilot) If an aeroplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it. Ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator) Though I fly through the Valley of Death, I shall fear no evil, for I am at 80,000 feet and climbing. (sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location in Kadena, Japan). You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F. Crickmore - test pilot) Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you. There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign over squadron operations desk at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base, Arizona, 1970). The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time. (Author unknown, but someone who's been there) "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out on the "glass cockpit" of an A-320). If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to. Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees, and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there. You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tinfoil 0 #2 November 7, 2003 QuoteYou know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal. Ok, now that one is just funny. “- - Sumo is the greatest of sports. It has power, grace, speed and cluture. And most importantly, two fat bastards smacking the shit out of each other. ” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lee03 0 #3 November 7, 2003 DAMN, I resemble allot of these! Here's another one: "A good landing is one you walk away from. A great landing is one where you can use the airplane again!"-------- To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities. --Nevil Shute, Slide Rule Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #4 November 7, 2003 Oh I thought maybe you were talking about flying with a shorty t shirt or nekkid with navel facing downward Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pilotdave 0 #5 November 7, 2003 QuoteIf the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe. As a helicopter system safety engineer, I'm offended by that! Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tailwheel 0 #6 November 8, 2003 Never fly the "A" model of anything. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hooknswoop 19 #7 November 8, 2003 You can never have too much power or too much fuel, unless you are on fire. Derek Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aviatrr 0 #8 November 8, 2003 QuoteNever fly the "A" model of anything. HEY!! I fly the "A" model! Don't be dissin the A's! Now if you're talking about the Tomcat....yea, I agree, don't fly the A model.....go for the B or D if given the choice.....yea, as if the military gives you a choice.. Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aviatrr 0 #9 November 8, 2003 Quotetoo much fuel, unless you are on fire Been there, done that.....didn't even get a goddamn T-shirt!@# Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #10 November 8, 2003 QuoteWhat is the similarity between air traffic controllers (ATC) and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies I had a variation on that as a Forward Air Controller. "If I screw up...I die.....if the pilot screws up....I die......if the AFAC screws up....I die......if the Arty or Naval gunfire screws up....Hmmm...yep....I die." It was a dangerous job but lots of fun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
park1231 0 #11 November 8, 2003 http://www.freescottspeicher.com/support.php Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
