smiles 0 #1 November 30, 2003 hey- what would you do if your partner in life has made serious decision to become a jehovah witness (he apparently has taken 2 yrs. to decide this path) He has chosen a path in his life I will not be part of any way- any how- never. Not religious myself- never have been but my reaction besides "shock" is we are on completely different paths and people do change....I love him and have for 22 years....it is time to go our separate ways. My reaction I will stew over but really do not know what so called Jehovah Witness's are about- except from what I've heard around here and there...maybe I am over reacting???.....Merry Xmas!! SMiles Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kpjumps 0 #2 November 30, 2003 Wow, that is a tough one... I had a little girl in my class once who was j.h and learned a little. She left the room everytime the pledge was said (every morning she had to stay in the hall). She couldn't be involved in parties celebrating anything (birthdays, christmas, easter). As for their beliefs, it is a bit different than your mainstream christian churches. They think a select few are coming back to inhabit the earth. I am trying to remember from some stuff my kiddos parents gave me. The email on the back of one of them (don't know how to do the clicky thingy) www.e-watchman.com Best of luck, I can't imagine being in your spot...Your character will ultimately determine your destiny. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MC208B 0 #3 November 30, 2003 sorry to hear about your predictament Karen, bummer.... My lil sis was in the exact same spot that you are in now approx 5 years ago. Was going to leave Steve over it. Now she can't wait for the weekend so she can go out and distribute the "Watchtower". They are both very into the witness deal (she more than he). So, be careful or they will rope you in Marianne (my sis) tells me that JW is the way, the ONLY way (of course). They have all the "right" answers as to heaven and hell, life after death (or lack thereof) and everything else we mortals hope will happen when we start the big dirt nap Good luck to you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manifestbitch 0 #4 November 30, 2003 After 22 years....wow. i suppose the decision you have to make is this: is my love for him unconditional? if so..then you must learn to deal w/it in the best way you know how. If this is one of those things that you just cannot, in any amount of time accept....then it's time to go your separate ways. but i suppose you've already said that huh? that's the best i can do, hon. :) {{{{hugs}}}} what a dificult situation for you, hope all goes well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest #5 November 30, 2003 You are NOT overreacting! My advice... RUN!!![/RED] They're a CULT - no better than snake-kissers! I know this is going to stir up a hornet's nest, but... How does one distinguish a cult from a religion? "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." - Matthew 7:20 A religion exists to serve the needs of its followers. A cult exists to serve itself. The Jehovah's Witnesses are a CULT! If you let them into your life, they'll bleed you dry, telling you that you have to give everything you own to them or you won't be one of the "Chosen" (as if we pitiful beings could BUY OUR WAY INTO THE HEREAFTER WITH MATERIAL GOODS!!!). I had an in-law who was in that wacky cult - they took everything he had. He died penniless in a nursing home, and that was only because they couldn't take that as well. BE STRONG. Tell him that if he goes that way, he'll go without you. Your soul belongs to the Almighty, not those damned (and I do mean DAMNED) Jehovah's F'in Witnesses!!! "The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #6 November 30, 2003 Can we calm down please?Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and religious beliefs,but please don't express them in such a way as to offend people who might not share your views.Thats just rude even if they are your opinions. As to smiles original post: Much vibes to you girl.You have a heavy decision to make. If your mate has truely set his mind to this then nothing you can do will change his mind.Religious beliefs are very serious and emotional subjects. It sounds like you have already decided that you will be no part of his religious endeavors;thats fine and understandable that you have your own convictions. This has come in the middle of a long relationship, so you have to make the choice to either agree to disagree about religion, or follow your paths without one another. If you two can find a way to agree to disagree,then I think you two will be just fine together. I was involved with an athiest for awhile and we decided that, if I promised I wouldn't try to convince him God existed,then he wouldn't try ot convince me that He didn't. In the end it worked out well and our parting of ways had nothing to do with religion. If you just cant put it behind you and accept it, then the parting of ways is unfortunately best. You might take a look at your mates beliefs just to understand them better, but do not change your own just to be with him. As for the cult thing, I don't get into those arguments.I've had my fair share of them in my life. I left and denounced the Mormon church years ago after my family converted.I didn't agree with their teachings,but will not slander them on the basis of disagreement.Everyone has the right to believe and practice as they see fit. "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shawnstarr 0 #7 November 30, 2003 religion = false sense of security for insecure people. its simple. people like to know why we exist, who created us, how we should live life, and what will happen after death. religion gives them these answers so they don't feel scared about their lifes and can paa judgment on others. this is a pretty broad generalization of course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiles 0 #8 November 30, 2003 QuoteI know this is going to stir up a hornet's nest, but... thanking you- I do wish I had some ground as far as the "bible" goes- (have honestly never read it....but he has been for years) Immediately I am looking for anything negative I can "throw" his way about this religion or cult. It has taken him 2 years to tell me- afraid of my reaction but outa the blue is off to the kingdom hall tomorrow and serious about "joining" what ever that means. He is also serious that this is the only religion that is "right". He also feels this will only change our lives for the good. Geez, my cousin studied Religion in university and became a "born again Christian"... To each their own- but I can absolutely not stand getting preached to or "at"....and I got my first taste of a "preaching" today. I have strong instinct- this is not going to work- infact I just realized how much I do not know him. Separating over religious choice is probably easier than any other basis for separation? On the other side if you ever feel like sliding easy out of a relationship- fake you are a Jehovah's Witness???? I do not plan to "run" as I am not afeared. Have to look ahead at "separation" being a positive step for both of us. SMiles Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #9 November 30, 2003 My ex was a JW for 8 years before I divorced her. They will stop "bad associations" by not spending time with non-JWs. They will become your entire social life. They will encourage the JW to get a job with a "brother". They become your financial support. They will isolate you from general society by not allowing you to participate in socially bonding events. Community sports, school events, local dances, dinners. Christmas, Valentines Day, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween - all off limits. They do not vote. Your children are asked to not salute the flag, further isolating your children from their peers and making them an object of derision. They use cult tactics to eventually control all aspects of your life. All your financial, emotional, and social support will be within the group. I think that the JW are the most emotionally damaging thing that can occur to children. Any JWs who read this and are offended, I would be happy to discuss anything that is felt to be an untruth. Been there, done that. Leave now, save yourself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #10 November 30, 2003 From what I've seen (have had several close friends get involved, and a few get uninvolved), I would agree on the cult issue. Please, be careful. Any group that controls its members so tightly and so completely discourages individual thought and choice cannot be healthy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wingnut 0 #11 November 30, 2003 ht, had a friend who's sister married a guy that was jw and so she converted.... she ten shuned her family and such because they were not also jw's........ the story i got from my friend about her sister seems very similar to yours........ but then again i'm for "to each his (or her) own"..... just don't drag me along...... ______________________________________ "i have no reader's digest version" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aneblett 0 #12 November 30, 2003 talking down religion = false sense of security for insecure people. its simple. people like to know why we exist, who created us, how we should live life, and what will happen after death. talking down religion gives them comfort so they don't feel scared about their lifes and can pass judgment on those who have found a way to deal with the fact that the answers to these questions aren't availible by any conventional means. this is a pretty broad generalization of course.S.E.X. party #2 ..It is far worse to live with fear, than to die confronting it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiles 0 #13 November 30, 2003 I do not feel so alone- very good to hear all opinions...can be positive of the timing here, the boys are adults and raising youngsters is not involved. Unconditional love?......I rebel- and start making boundaries for myself. Realize that I have strongly developed "beliefs" (not religious) and I do not wish to be in a relationship that slams the door shut on my individual thoughts and choice. At the same time neither does he. Separating will give him the freedom to follow what he believes and me the freedom to follow what I believe....(unconditional love) I think I can sleep now...thanks all. SMiles Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
julius 0 #14 November 30, 2003 A co-worker and his family are JW's and they are strange. Here are some examples: 1) he uses his sick leave when he's NOT sick because it is given to him to use. Also, according to thier "book", we age due to an illness that eventually kills us, therefore we are always sick. 2) JW's are forbiden from Skydiving because it's suicidal - go figure, he's obese due to over eating and that's not suicidal? 3) drives like a maniac with no regard for the people on the road or the people in his own vehicle - suicidal? 4) cant afford to buy food for the family so the "Kingdom Hall clan" brings food over - actually a really nice gesture, BUT he still has cable TV, internet, AND seasons passes to a PRO sports team! I could go on and on, and then there's the "Born Agains", they're almost as bad. just my observations.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 November 30, 2003 Quotetalking down religion gives them comfort so... When someone has a beer, it's none of my business. When they drink enough to ruin their own life, then it becomes an addiction for them. The addiction is a method of coping with the unhappy parts of their life which messes up another part. That is still none of my business. However, I may mention to them that I am seeing certain negative impacts to their life. It is still their decision. When their problem impacts the life of their SO, it becomes the business of that person. A JW changes the lives of all around them. If a bus is heading for an accident. I like to warn the passengers to not get on that ride. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #16 November 30, 2003 You'll find that rationalization is one of the earmarks of the religion. They can't do Halloween, but they have a "fall festival" where all the kids dress up in costumes. They can't receive Christmas gifts, but they'd better get one around that time or else. The rules are only rules when they are to the advantage of the person. My favorite two are: "The woman is the weaker vessel" and "The man is the head of the household like Christ is the head of the church". All household/life decisions must be approved through the man. Welcome to the 1st century. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taln1rigr 0 #17 November 30, 2003 QuoteThe email on the back of one of them (don't know how to do the clicky thingy) www.e-watchman.com Here's your clicky thingy I know, I wondered for a while how people had the mysterious ability to make these "clickies" appear ... then I clicked on the link that says Get Markup Help (located just above the box in which you write your reply) & it was a mystery no more. Hope this helped. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 558 #18 November 30, 2003 Smiles, Whoa! That is a tough decision! I wish you luck. A few JWs are bright people i.e. Consuelo who was the best sewer, mother, marathon runner, etc. at Rigging Innovations. Moderates of any faith are easy to live with, just be cautious when they start descending into fanaticism. It is the same as alcoholism .... If you need a shoulder to cry on, come over to the dark side of the Fraser River, er ... Pitt Meadows. Speaking of coming over to Pitt Meadows, we are having a Christmas Party on December 6 and you are invited. Oh, and thanks for the heads up about MMIST. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #19 November 30, 2003 QuoteA co-worker and his family are JW's and they are strange. Here are some examples: 1) he uses his sick leave when he's NOT sick because it is given to him to use... Lol, i do that, but for a very different reason Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aneblett 0 #20 November 30, 2003 fair enough.. I see your point. I more replied to the previous point to play devils advocate. no pun intended. I hope that you saw mine too. I was raised in a christian religious family and though I am not practicing I have respect for some religions. I don't take it personally when people call my parents insecure (among other things), as everyone is entitled to an opinion. I just wanted to illustrate that it is possible for those who like to talk down religion as a whole to be just as "weak-minded","insecure" etc as the people they are talking about. AgeS.E.X. party #2 ..It is far worse to live with fear, than to die confronting it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faber 0 #21 November 30, 2003 Quote Your soul belongs to the Almighty, not those damned (and I do mean DAMNED) Jehovah's F'in Witnesses!!! my sould belongs to me,and i know of no Fíng almighty(talking Allah?).. what a silly post... Smilies,thats a tough choice you have to deside.What ever you deside it will effect you the rest of your life.If YOU dont like J.W. then dont go there. my deepeste respect Stay safe Stefan Faber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #22 November 30, 2003 Quoteits simple. people like to know why we exist, who created us, how we should live life, and what will happen after death. Personally, I don't have any of those questions. They don't concern me. Religion is used by some people to address them. I also tend to be negative towards religion in general, but instead of making blanket statements, I usually point out items that I think are illogical. I put all religions on an equal footing with astrology, palmistry, tea-leaf reading, and psychic hot lines. All are attempts to control ones destiny through the control of an omnipotent servant by praying or burnt offerings. However, when the answer to the "how we should life life" question is more damaging than any of the problems, the religion becomes a greater problem. That is the case of the JWs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aneblett 0 #23 November 30, 2003 but instead of making blanket statements, I usually point out items that I think are illogical. *** I can respect that. I will digress however as I think that we have hijacked the thread for long enough. blue ones! AgeS.E.X. party #2 ..It is far worse to live with fear, than to die confronting it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest #24 November 30, 2003 QuoteQuote Your soul belongs to the Almighty, not those damned (and I do mean DAMNED) Jehovah's F'in Witnesses!!! my sould belongs to me,and i know of no Fíng almighty(talking Allah?).. what a silly post... Smilies,thats a tough choice you have to deside.What ever you deside it will effect you the rest of your life.If YOU dont like J.W. then dont go there. my deepeste respect Your point is well taken - you (meaning YOU) have Free Will. It's "your" soul, of course. I meant my remark to be in the context of religiousity in general; e.g., somebody who already has a spiritual commitment, so their soul is committed to God... mh"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiles 0 #25 December 1, 2003 QuoteModerates of any faith are easy to live with, just be cautious when they start descending into fanaticism. It is the same as alcoholism .... Everyone's personality is different- maybe wonder when one has an addictive personality- addict to drugs/alcohol/ conform to skydiving & alcohol/ then filled with abby-normal enthusiasm for religion starting when 911 hit the fan. I recall reading then how so many picked up their bibles- my partner hasn't put his down since. Re: he is extremely "bright"---especially in world history. QuoteIf you need a shoulder to cry on, come over to the dark side of the Fraser River, er ... Pitt Meadows. Speaking of coming over to Pitt Meadows, we are having a Christmas Party on December 6 and you are invited. ahh! such a small world!....Have a great Xmas bash!-thanx for the invite- might even know some familiar bodies there (got to see a few at Steve & Candace's wedding this summer) I prefer not to mix party & drinking ---with crying on shoulders--not good taste - all invited to Xmas party Sat. Dec. 20th. -2469 Cameron Cres. -Abbotsford 853-6640 - plan to attend boxing day at Chilliwack Flying Club (Bill Hardman's 60th.) hope he gets his wish (jump from open cockpit) QuoteOh, and thanks for the heads up about MMIST. Hey- you sound like the perfect candidate for a high position with MMIST- did you apply? SMiles Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
