Favourite Simpsons quotes

[PeteH 0]

Bart: Soul? Come on, Milhouse, there is no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman, or Michael Jackson.
Milhouse: But every religion says there's a soul, Bart. Why would they lie? What would they have to gain?
[Lovejoy, in his office, works a change sorting machine]

Sideshow Bob: Even murder has its ugly side.

Homer: Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.

Bart: Hey, Grampa, we need to know your first name.
Grampa: You're making my tombstone!?

Grampa Simpson: I'm an old man. I hate everything but Matlock.

[harro 0]

Mr Burns: Excellent, more for my ever growing army of the undead.
Mr Smithers: Mr Burns you have to take your finger off the button.
Mr Burns: Oh, Sonofabi....

Jumpy Jumpy??

[jumpr71 0]

"I'm scared daddy,toscared to even wet my pants"
"Oh boy sleep!! That's where I am a viking"
"Me fail english?!?! That's unpossible!"
"My cats breath smells like cat food"
Ralphie Wiggum

---you should seriously consider removing yourself from the gene pool---

[flyhi 24]

"Marge, I'm coming to bed and I've been watching women's volleyball on ESPN."

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[yoink 321]

Snake as Homer is thrashing his car:
She needs premium dude!!!! PREMIUM!!! Aw screw the honour system... lil' bandit needs me.

[jakee 1,441]

(hypnotist) Don't worry mr simpson I can undo your boy's brainwashing, I was the one who got paul mcartney out of wings

(homer) You idiot! he was the most talented one!!

Do you want to have an ideagasm?

[Paige 0]

DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH!

Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate
www.TunnelPinkMafia.com

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

I bent my wookie

____________________
Say no to subliminal messages

[Stik 0]

These berries taste like burning.

Ralph Wigum

[Hooknswoop 19]

Krusty the clown: Yes, I have been drinking gasoline, mother.

Derek

[quatorze 1]

I'd kill every one in here for one drop of sweet sweet beer- HS

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

[Zeemax 0]

I cant beleive i met Mr Bean!! - Homer

Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE
Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies

[ianmdrennan 2]

my sig.

Performance Designs Factory Team

[quatorze 1]

Mmm Beer, the cause and solution of all life's problems -Homer

Oooo, they have internet on computers now-Homer

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

[mr2mk1g 10]

"Don't worry homer - 9 out of 10 religions fail in their first year" - God

Hutz : "Your Honour, I move... for... a bad court thingy..."
Judge: "You mean a mistrial?"
Hutz : "Yeah... a mistrial... thats why you're the Judge, and I'm the... law... talking... guy..."

[ScubaSteve 0]

Lisa: Excuse me, why isn't my name in the program?
Vicki: It is, silly. You've got the most important part of all. [flips
through the pamphlet]
Lisa: Curtain puller?!
Vicki: No one can see the show if the curtain isn't open.
Lisa: Bu-- My parents are counting on seeing me dance! And I've worked ever
so hard.
Vicki: I'm sorry, Lisa, but giving everyone an equal part when they're clearly
not equal is called what, again, class?
Class: Communism!
Vicki: That's right. And I didn't tap all those Morse code messages to the
Allies 'til my shoes filled with blood to just roll out the welcome mat
for the Reds.

[airdweller 0]

------------------------------------------------------
"From the mightiest pharaoh to the lowliest peasant,
who doesn't enjoy a good sit?" C. Montgomery Burns

[rehmwa 2]

So many quotes, so little space...

Milhouse, "I there wasn't a goldfish, then why did I have the bowl, Bart? WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL?"

Grampa - "I'm going to the outhouse"
Homer - "We don't have an outhouse, MY TOOL SHED"
pause
cut to Homer hosing out his tool shed

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Meathorse 0]

"I'm smarter than the deeeevil! I'm smarter than the deeeevil!"
"YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME!!!"

"mmmmmm... 64 slices of american cheese...."

[meltdown 0]

Mr Burns singing:
"Like my loafers - former gophers"

[scottbre 0]

Homer: Stupid like a fox!

Some old guy: I vant some taquitos...

Homer: In America, first you get de sugar, then you get de power, then you get de women.

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

"Your mother's full of stupidjuice!"
My Art Project

[panzwami 0]

Judge: "Mr. Hutz, do you have any evidence at all?"
Hutz: "We have lots of hearsay and conjecture, those are kinds of evidence..."

Ad execs: "A pirate!?! Well, that's certainly not the image we want for Long John Silvers."

Homer: "Ohhh, what am I gonna do with 10,000 Angel ashtrays?"
Bart: "I could take up smoking."
Homer: "You damn well better."

Bart: "You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!"
Dr. Nick: "Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too?"

Dr. Nick (during surgery): "The knee bone's connected to the something. The something's connected to the red thing. The red thing's connected to my wristwatch. Uh-oh."

Troy McClure: Oh, hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid'.

Lionel Hutz: "Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson. We've drawn Judge Snyder."
Marge: "Is that bad?"
Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."
Marge: "You did?"
Lionel Hutz: "Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with the word 'son'."

and probably my favorite (and the source of my sig):

Trent: "So where to eat? You like Thai?"
Homer (as Max Power): "Tie good. You like shirt?"

Matt
-----

[Stumpy 284]

I'm going to bed with my wife, and I won't be out for fiiiiivvvvveeeee......... minutes!

Never try to eat more than you can lift

[my_dog_steve 0]

JEEBUSS!!!...

[fool 0]

Principal Skinner: "Good job Mr.Nibbles! Now chew through my ball sack."

S.E.X. party #1

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "f*#k, what a ride".