More on South Africa

[Scratch 0]

In the beginning......
In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for rugby and cricket matches, going to the beach and braais.
He created night for going jolling, sleeping and braais.
God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was
the Second Day.

On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and
braais on the beach. God saw that it was good. Evening came and
morning came and it was the Third Day.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to
provide tobacco, malt and yeast for beer and wood for braais.
God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was
the Fourth Day.

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops,
boerewors, steak and prawns for braais, leather for rugby and
cricket balls.
God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was
the Fifth Day.

On the Fifth day God created an oke - to go to the rugby and
cricket, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and
prawns at braais.
God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was
the Sixth Day.

On the Sixth Day God saw that this oke was lonely and needed
someone to go to the rugby, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around
the braai with.
So God created buddies, and God saw that they were good okes.
God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was
the Seventh Day.

On the Seventh Day God saw that the okes were tired and needed a
rest. So God created Chicks - to clean the house, bear children,
wash, cook and clean the braai.
Evening came and it was the end of the Seventh day.
God sighed, looked around at the twinkling braais, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the okes and chicks, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns, and
God saw that it was not just good, it was better than that, it was damn good .......IT WAS SOUTH AFRICA

BTW
Oke = Guy
Braai = Outdoor cooking over open coals
Boerewors = Sausage, hard to explain what it is like.
Jolling = partying

[helicam 0]

Right on Bra Scratch

You spread the good word to all them non-believers!

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter

[skreamer 1]

Quote

IT WAS SOUTH AFRICA

[Scratch 0]

Still is my son.
All that rain must have soaked into your brain.
Time you come back home to dry out

The Guinness may be good that side but the boerewors is better over here. Just ask the chicks

[nws01 0]

Have you seen any Giraffes lately?

[meatmissile 0]

First time I see this post. I thought some of the newer SA - guys might enjoy it

--
ZZZzzzz....

[TheBile 0]

OK then. If South Africa is so good, why did Kerry defect to Thailand eh ?

Gerb

I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

[bertusgeert 1]

Ag man, nou maak jy my sommer sooooo jaloers!
Ekke wil terugkomm!!!!!

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As jy dom is moet jy bloei!

[Skyrad 0]

Ek ook!

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

[bill2 0]

I'm curious - I was reading some posts on the internet by a security training firm that trains a lot of people from SA. they said that the country is very dangerous (no specifics as to exactly where) and that the crime rate is very high, with people being attacked on a regular basis. Is this true? How is SA today compared to before the change in government (Mandela being elected)?

Again, just curious.

[Peej 0]

Nothing like the taste of braaied boerie and tjops. Nice post bru

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

[racer42 0]

Someday I'm gonna take a long trip to So. Africa.

But first , you have to explain cricket in 100 words or less.

L.A.S.T. #24
Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team
Electric Toaster #3
Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor
Co-Founder Team Happy Sock

[meatmissile 0]

Quote

they said that the country is very dangerous (no specifics as to exactly where)

Mostly rubbish. I have lived here all my life, and it's not dangerous at all.

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ZZZzzzz....

[Peej 0]

About a year ago i saw the darker side of our country when i was mugged at gun point and took a bullet in the thigh.

I got lucky, it missed all the important stuff. Has it affected my view of this beautiful country at all?

HELL NO!

I understand the motivation for the attack: poverty and probably hunger and i continue to love this place more than life itself.

We have some of the most beautiful and diverse scenery and people in the world. We have unbelievable beach breaks and point breaks, our skies are blue year round, our women are some of the most beautiful creatures i have ever seen and our beer is almost always cold!

God bless Africa.

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

[piisfish 137]

and riser slaps are sooo smooth

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[metalslug 36]

Quote

I'm curious - I was reading some posts on the internet by a security training firm that trains a lot of people from SA. they said that the country is very dangerous (no specifics as to exactly where) and that the crime rate is very high, with people being attacked on a regular basis. Is this true? How is SA today compared to before the change in government (Mandela being elected)?

While many may argue that poverty is the primary motive in increased South African crime, the statistical evidence suggests this may not be true.
I cant find an internet link to the report, but I am sure I overheard news of a recent United Nations study that the overall level of poverty in SA has improved slightly in the last 10 years.
Unfortuntely though, the crime has increased aswell.

It's a common belief that the justice system has become a lot less effective in the last 10 years.
The death sentence and harsh police tactics are no more, and prison overcrowding is addressed by occasionaly releasing several thousand convicts on a type of 'very early parole' if they were serving time for minor crimes. In my opinion, it is mostly these factors that have increased the crime rate.

As with many urban enviroments the world over, not all places are equaly 'dangerous'. I have heard that dark alleys in New York City are dangerous too.
And so, people do take some care in areas to avoid at certain times of the day or night. I dont want to encourage tourist paranoia by sounding overly negative, but I would certainly want to brief visiting friends from overseas on a few things before suggesting that they drive around alone here.

[Peej 0]

Smooth and surprising

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

[bertusgeert 1]

Hey, just a few funnies for those who can understand:

backseat driver = skouervlieg
> balls-up = knaterflater
> blind date = moljol / steekproef
> brandy = polisiekoffie
> cubby hole = vroeteldoos
> chaperone = voëlverskrikker
> condom = saadsokkie
> cycle pants = voëlverklikker
> dagga = rondkyktwak
> doggie bag = brakkiepakkie / woefkardoes
> face-lift = hysbakkies
> g-string = gatsnaar / snakstringetjie / stertriem/ tergtoutjie
> go-go girl = wikkeldoedie
> groupie = groepgriet
> gynaecologist = roofkyker
> hacker = kraker
> hairdresser = dollaklitser
> hamburger = frikkadelbroodjie
> helmet = pletterpet / valhelm
> hyperlink = hiperskakel
> impotence = stingelstres
> longdrop = dieptroon / doefpoef / plonsput / plonspardoems
> make-up = jeugdeeg
> maltese poodle = stoepkakkertjie
> massage parlour = streelperseel
> quickie = japtrapkap
> rapper = rymkletser
> sales rep = kommissiekabouter / koopseblief
> sex = klits
> sperm bank = skootwerf
> stapler = draaddrukkertjie / papiervampier
> stew = vleismoles
> stress = gemoedsbekakking
> sugardaddy = vroetelvarkie
> toi-toi = vakbond-vastrap / williewerkie-wals

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As jy dom is moet jy bloei!

[bertusgeert 1]

An another, you can see a little bit of South African culture here:

This one is a classic from our days when there was an army!

Letter from the Army

Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell my boetie (brother) Wouter and my other boetie Koos that being in the Kommandos beats working for Oom Piet by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am, but am now starting to enjoying sleeping late. Tell Wouter and Koos all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No varke (pigs) to feed, no cows to milk, no mampoer (mmonshine) to mix or braai wood to split. Practically nothing. Manne (Men) get to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on fruit juice, pap (porridge), eggs, bacon, etc. but short on steaks, boerewors, chops, potatoes and other regular food like vetkoek. But tell my boeties you can always sit between two dorpies (city boys) that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Sersant (Sergeant) says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our post-box at home. Then the dorpies from the city get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. This next will kill my boeties with laughter. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a dassie's head and doesn't move at all. And it isn't shooting back at you like those bliksemse Venter boys from the next-door plaas (farm). All you have to do is lay there all rustig (calm) like and hit it. You don't even have to make your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with the dorpies from the city. I have to be really careful though, they break real easy. It's not like fighting with Swart Duiwel (Black Devil), our old bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this platoon except for that Groot Jan Jordaan from somewhere in the Noord Transvaal. He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and weighs over 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell my boeties to hurry and join before other okes find out about this Kommando set-up and come stampeding in !

Your loving daughter, Esther

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As jy dom is moet jy bloei!