catfishhunter 2 #1 July 9, 2004 I am having a dilemma in my personal life and thought I would see what others opinions are on age difference and dating. What is the biggest gap in age that you think is appropriate/inappropriate? before anyone asks I am 38.. met a wonderful woman that I have been hanging out with that is turning 21 in 3 weeks. Nothing serious just friends but I am thinking it could turn into more if I would let it, but when I think about it I feel like a dirty old man Opinions? MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT Life is Short and we never know how long we are going to have. We must live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. Everything we do should have a greater purpose. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #2 July 9, 2004 Who cares about age bro. If she is mature and legal go for it have fun.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #3 July 9, 2004 38 year old with a 21 year old? Expect terrific sex and an easy time "playing" but that's about it. When she wants to exercise her newly acquired ability to drink will you close the bars with her 3 nights a week? Communication will probably get difficult too, as you two will look at things from totally different perspectives. I'm not saying it can't work. If she's exceptionally mature for her age, and you're (like many skydivers) a bit immature for your age, it might be a nice fit (until you meet her dad and realize he's approximately your age). But I wouldn't go into it with any big expectations. If you can both approach it from a "fun first" perspective, I'd say go for it. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #4 July 9, 2004 don't look so much at chronological age, but at where you are in life. if she's still in college and has never experienced the real world like you have, that can make a relationship very difficult. If she hasn't had the opportunity to truly be on her own, she hasn't yet had the maturing opportunities that situation provides. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
catfishhunter 2 #5 July 9, 2004 QuoteWhen she wants to exercise her newly acquired ability to drink will you close the bars with her 3 nights a week? Well thats one thing I DON'T Have to worry about She is in recovery as well I am buying her first tandem for her birthday though=kiss pass Just so this thread doesn't really turn into what I should do I am really wondering about others opinions on what they would feel OK with for themselves. I am not at the point that I am serouisly considering anything more then the awesome friendship we have now but then again I might be old but I ain't dead MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT Life is Short and we never know how long we are going to have. We must live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. Everything we do should have a greater purpose. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #6 July 9, 2004 QuoteJust so this thread doesn't really turn into what I should do I am really wondering about others opinions on what they would feel OK with for themselves. Well in that case, i would just have fun for right now. If it turned into something more, great, if not, oh well. I am not currently looking for a relationship but i do like sport fucking (phrase stolen from our pilot) I wouldn't concern myself with age, only if i have fun with that person or not. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #7 July 9, 2004 I've only had girlfriends that were 10 years older for the past 15 years. Now i prefer 10 years younger or the same age.(i'm 37) Too young seems too tiring. Might be difficult to keep up with. She would have to be very mature and have similar interests for it to work for me. Either way, you will learn a lot i'm sure.Did ya read my mother /daughter combo thread ? Ha. Just a thought :) Just kidding please don't jump on me .. i'm injured ,ladies. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #8 July 9, 2004 Last year when I was 39, I briefly dated a whuffo woman who was 24 (initially she liked the idea of dating a skydiver until she found out what it really meant to date a skydiver). For the most part, age was not an issue. But our life experiences were different and in some respects because of this, the relationship didn't work. Of course there were bigger issues than our age difference. But it didn't help either. I wouldn't mind finding someone again who's in their mid to late 20s (assuming they'd be interested in me), but it's more important to find someone who you can share your life's experiences with that worry about age. But age differences can be a hurdle for some. Are there any 20 something year olds who would be interested in a young looking and very young acting 40 year old out there? I didn't think so ... Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #9 July 9, 2004 I was going to post my opinion.. but OUCH! I just can't touch this one. _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Staso 0 #10 July 9, 2004 i'm 30 now. my ex was 18. prior to that i date one that was 33. and before that - 19. age doesn't really matter. it all comes down to people. so do what you feel like and don't look back :) stan. -- it's not about defying gravity; it's how hard you can abuse it. speed skydiving it is ... Speed Skydiving Forum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damion 0 #11 July 9, 2004 i think i saw something like this on Jenny Jones once, or was it Springer. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyserenity 0 #12 July 9, 2004 Quote Are there any 20 something year olds who would be interested in a young looking and very young acting 40 year old out there? I didn't think so ... Raises hand, but I'm a single mom w/ two kids, doh! Still interested? I like coconuts. You can break them open and they smell like ladies lying in the sun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guru312 0 #13 July 9, 2004 A subject close to my heart. I have two daughters. One is 42 and one is 11. The mother of my second daughter is 30 days older than my first daughter. The mother of my second daughter is 21 years younger than I am. I don't know the membership requirements for the Dirty Old Man's Club but I just may qualify. If I worried about age differences I wouldn't have my wonderful and dynamic second daughter in my life; I wouldn't get the thrill of going to the beach and watching my grandchildren play in the surf with my youngest daughter. My grandson is 2 years younger than my daughter and my granddaughter is two years older. Having a daughter at my age is the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. Of course, YMMV! Short answer: Go for it! Follow your heart and your passion in all things.Guru312 I am not DB Cooper Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #14 July 9, 2004 QuoteRaises hand, but I'm a single mom w/ two kids, doh! Still interested? I have dated a couple of single moms on different occasions in my life and while I currently have the mindset that I won't go looking to hookup with a single mom, it's not out of the question if and when the fireworks start to fly. So I never say never to dating a single mom. So being interested isn't out of the question. But any potential mate of mine either needs to be a jumper herself or she needs to understand my need and desire to hurl myself out of an airplane or huck myself off of some fixed object. Never-say-never ... Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smellysue 0 #15 July 9, 2004 it doesnt matter amte it's the heart of the two of u that matter so talk it through with her u may be surprised she may feel the same go for it. good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PrairieDoug 0 #16 July 9, 2004 Not sure where it originated, but on more than one occasion I've heard the rule of thumb that a guy should not date a woman younger than half his age plus 7 years. So at 38, your cutoff would be 26. With this rule, the allowable age gap gets bigger as the man gets older. Of course, it's pretty arbitrary and doesn't factor in important stuff about the people involved and their relationship goals. People are more complex than that, especially as matters of the heart are concerned. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #17 July 9, 2004 Very well put. _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #18 July 9, 2004 I think I'm alone in regarding dating as the path to marriage. So with that as my premise, do you want to have baby children when you are in your 40's? Usually young women are thinking marriage and babies as they move into their 20's (my experience). You are just a couple years younger than me, but there is no way that I would take on the responsibility of creating children anymore at this age. If you are in a post-marriage, vasectomy stage, have fun, be honest, and don't expect it to last. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #19 July 9, 2004 It's your life so it doesn't matter what we think. People also vary enough that you can't generalize. Do you define dating as a chance to have fun with the appropriate sex or the search for a life-long partner? You both need to be of legal age and have enough physical attraction for either definition. If you want a partner you need to resonate with each other and have goals/values that aren't incompatable. More years give you more opportunities to figure out what's really important to you, develop confidence, and act closer to who you can be but are no guarantee. I know plenty of 40-50 year olds who are less developed as people than the 20-30 year olds I know. I also know a lot of 40-60 year olds who haven't lost the spontaneity and joy of youth. Chronological age is only directly relevant when it comes to life expectancy (I'd rather have 30-50 years of joy with my soul mate than none at all), pro-creation (I don't want children), and when you can cash-in your retirement accounts. It may or may not influence your families' support. My soul mate/true love/fiancee and I love each other more than we thought was possible, understand each other, want the same things out of life, amuse each other, and otherwise really enjoy each other's company. Although age and experience differences got us to where we are, the present and future are what's important. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
linny 1 #20 July 9, 2004 Quote Are there any 20 something year olds who would be interested in a young looking and very young acting 40 year old out there? I didn't think so ... yea of course, if you're fun. i'm only 23 and have just discovered older guys in the last year or so. you'd be surprised how many of us prefer the way Men treat us, rather than Boys. *lindsay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanpilot 0 #21 July 9, 2004 In the past year or so I have casually dated mostly younger women: 41/26, 41/29, 41/32, 41/33, 41/47, 41/36, 42/41. Of all the women, I was most like the youngest, but it was ultimately life circumstances and priorities that became obstacles, not age. For me at this point, 30-35 seems to be the sweet spot for dating, I'm not sure about long term. Give it a try and just be ready to revert back to being friends if it does not work. You won't know unless you give it a go._________________________________________ -There's always free cheese in a mouse trap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
josheezammit 0 #22 July 9, 2004 QuoteQuote Are there any 20 something year olds who would be interested in a young looking and very young acting 40 year old out there? I didn't think so ... yea of course, if you're fun. i'm only 23 and have just discovered older guys in the last year or so. you'd be surprised how many of us prefer the way Men treat us, rather than Boys. Linny I have a ton of friends that would straight up agreee with you, I am 24 and I don't think that it's wierd, now its normal, ooooo ya. but i don't date 8 year olds, its all relative *lindsay Ahh, what a wonderful world. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #23 July 9, 2004 Maturity level? Who the hell cares - how you are together is what matters. Consider the feelings of those close to you though.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #24 July 10, 2004 Hey Catfish hunter! I once dated a skydiver who was in his late 30's,I am in my early 20's. It was an awesome relationship, but things didn't work out due to long distance,other things, etc. He was a wonderful man,but I never wanted him to think I was immature, so I may have acted more serious around him than say, a guy my age. I still prefer older men, and I think age shouldn't matter, unless you are both pursuing opposite goals in life. I say go for it, because I want an older man, I understand what you may be going through. But beware, the young chick may be the fun-loving type who doesn't want to get tied down; either way, guard your heart with any woman. good luck! Sarah Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jayruss 0 #25 July 11, 2004 I think it all depends on the people. One of the coolest guys I dated was 40 when I was 23. __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
