Post your truckstop bathroom jokes

[cvfd1399 0]

I was in a questionable establishment today while doing my business. Every guy knows that truck stop bathrooms have a world of entertainment on the walls, so while I was doing my thing I decided to read some of the jokes on the wall when I came across this gem written in blue ink pen "why are you looking at the wall the joke is in your hand" I pissed on the floor I was laughing so hard. So post yours..ooh by the way, the joke did not apply to me

[kai2k1 0]

seen on a truckstop wall

"here i sit with my cheeks a flexin, givin birth to another texan"


In no way do I mean to offend anyone from the great state of Texas

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[ccowden 0]

Kid from Arkansas comes back from his honeymoon without his wife.

Father asks, "Where's your wife?"

Kid says, "I shot her."

Father says, "Shot her? Why the hell would you do that?!"

Kid says, "Cuz I found out that she was a virgin."

Father says, "Why would you shoot her for that?"

Kid says, "Cuz if she ain't good enough for her own folks, she ain't good enough for mine!"

[EdC 0]

At a little truck stop on the north side of the Columbus, Ohio outer belt I found this little tid bit:

What is the first sign of AIDS?


A severe pounding sensation in your ass.


I laughed for a couple days after reading that one.

Big Ed

[kingbunky 3]

written in small letters near the bottom of the door: "you are now shitting at a 45° angle."

or

here i sit with a broken heart
took two pills and my truck won't start
but just to prove i'm a die hard trucker
took two more and pushed the mother f*cker

or

under the paper roll:
" driver's license, please take one."

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[ScottishJohn 25]

To Do Is To Be -- Sartre
To Be Is To Do -- Shakespeare
Do-Be-Do-Be-Do -- Sinatra
Yabba dabba do -- Flinstone
Scoo-Be-Do-Be-Do -- Shaggy

----------------------------------------------------------------------
If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

[CrazyThomas 0]

Quote

seen on a truckstop wall

"here i sit with my cheeks a flexin, givin birth to another texan"


In no way do I mean to offend anyone from the great state of Texas

Gonna have to Ivan Bust you on this one........bbbrrreeeeeeaah.

Play again.


Thomas

[towerrat 0]

seen in a porta-john

He can't plumb
and he can't fit
but the porta-john man
sure knows his shit.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes!

[BeattheDrums 0]

Saw these recently...

"He who writes on bathroom walls
rolls his shit into little balls.
But he who reads those lines of wit,
Eats those little balls of shit."

and

"Its no use standing on the seat,
the crabs in here can jump ten feet.
and if you think thats pretty high
just go next door, those bastards fly."

A thunder of jets in a clear blue sky, a streak of gray and a cheerful "Hi"

[SpeedRacer 1]

seen in the Cat's Eye Pub, written in caligraphy:

"If I had the dick of a stallion,
And the balls of a red ass baboon
I'd stand on the edge of Grand Canyon
And bunghole the man-in-the-moon!"

Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

[tbrown 26]

Not found on a bathroom wall, but too good to pass up:

Doctor Dave was dealing with a heavy guilt trip over having had sex with one of his patients. It tormented him. At times a voice inside would tell him, "Dave, you're not the first doctor to fall into bed with one of his patients. And you won't be the last. You're young Dave, and single. So forget it."

But then another voice would bring him back to reality:


But Dave, you're a veterinarian."

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[soulshine 0]

how do you circumcise a redneck?.....kick his sister in the teeth!

Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity!
~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~

[gremlin 0]

seen in a toilet in a military camp in Bosnia:

Please flush twice as its a long way to the canteen!

I'm drunk, you're drunk, lets go back to mine....

[yoink 321]

Seen in the toilets of a bowling alley...

Odi et amo. Excrucior.

Not often you see Latin scrawled on a wall - as near as I can make out, it means

"I love her and I hate her. I am tormented."

i though that showed some style...

[skydived19006 4]

I read this in Playboy well over 20 to 30 years ago, when I was too young to have purchased the magazine myself, and most likely to young to have even understood what I was supposed to have been doing while admiring the women. I guess it stuck with me.

When all the shithouse poets die,
They will find erected in the sky,
In honor of their sterling wit,
A monument of solid shit.

Experience is what you get when you thought you were going to get something else.

AC DZ

[PhillyKev 0]

Same source as you, probably same circumstances


You can shake
You can squeeze it
You can bang it on the wall
But it must go back in your pants
For that last damn drop to fall

[Marz 0]

At my university, in the pub bathroom

"I fucked your mother"

And underneath some genius wrote:

"Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

Funniest shit I've ever read on a bathroom wall!

Marz

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Did I just kill another thread?

[PLFXpert 0]

I try not to stop at truckstops to use the restroom. Any liquid passes right through me and I always need to use the restroom. As a result, I have no problems going in a bush, a parking lot, ANYTHING, but a nasty disgusting gas station bathroom!

Men have it so easy, all you need is an empty bottle...you don't even need to stop.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[cvfd1399 0]

Here I sit all broken hearted,
I had to shit but only farted!

[mfrese 0]

Standing at a urinal doing my business, and I happen to look up to see a perfect straight line drawn at about seven feet on the wall. Written below it:

If you can pee above this line, the Winslow Fire Department wants YOU!

Doctor I ain't gonna die,
Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

[Mayberry 0]

(Written on a men's room condom dispenser, saw it somewhere on a road trip.) "This gum is stale!!" Don

Don

Here's to friends!

[D22369 0]

Written on the ceiling of the Brick tavern in Roslyn Washington
--->There is no gravity......the earth just sucks!!!!

Roy

They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

[usedtajump 1]

Seen over a urinal at a truckstop in Provo, Utah:

Stand a little closer padnah, that's not a Winchester in your hand.

Seen this in several places:

In case of nuclear attack, duck under the urinal, it hasn't been hit yet.

The older I get the less I care who I piss off.

[PD126r 0]

Read this one over a urinal in a chinese resturant:
"We aim to please. You aim to, please!"

[LivingLegend 0]

"More than 3 shakes is a wank!"

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1.618 !