0
weegegirl

Why is it that nice guys get labelled "gay"?

Recommended Posts

Quote

Cuz the girls only give it up to the Bad Boyz?



Bingo-Dingo

It seems to me that when you're the nice guy, girls end up treating you just as one of their girlfriends, and nothing more. Then when you want a piece of ass, they get real serious and say "I thought you weren't like that". The hell I'm not like that. ;)

The FAKE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Probably because nice guys don't get laid. And I'm speaking from personal experience on that one. :|

My problem is I can't bring myself to be an asshole or treat someone like crap. Thus, I'm "friend" of everybody and "boyfriend" of none.

My personal take is that the "friend" will always be there, but the "player" may or may not be. So women go for the "player". And at which point I hear nothing but how their latest boyfriend treats them like crap.

Makes me wonder sometimes... :P

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Not all girls want an asshole.... not even most girls want an asshole. If that's your take on females, maybe you should find different females to hang around. And tell them what it is you want - if they don't 'like you that way' then maybe there's just something else about you they don't find attractive. If they really are in the minority that are attracted to jerks, then maybe you shouldn't be attracted to them ;)
it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
<
I think that you just dont understand women. You dont need to be an asshole or treat a girl like crap to get laid. BUT, more importantly, you must not be too nice of a guy (or a WUSS). Many 'nice guys' over compliment, buy stuff, kiss ass, and let themselves get stepped on which makes them 'WEAK' in a womens eyes. Women are not attracted to weak men. Also, 'nice guys' look at getting sex from a women as some sort of reward or something. So, a 'nice guy' will give compliments, buy gifts, take a girl out to 'somewhere nice'... That is supplicating dude... It's practically saying, "Hey hot chick, I am buying you stuff so that you'll like and have sex with me because otherwise I'm uninteresting and dont have much to offer"

Bullshit. Women need and want sex just as men do. Once you realize this, it makes things alot easier.

BE confident, make decisions, DO NOT be predictable, be in a sexual state, and you will get laid more. simple;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

BUT, more importantly, you must not be too nice of a guy (or a WUSS). Many 'nice guys' over compliment, buy stuff, kiss ass, and let themselves get stepped on which makes them 'WEAK' in a womens eyes. Women are not attracted to weak men.



Absolutely agree. But not all nice guys are jello-spined suckups either. God knows I'm not.

Quote

Also, 'nice guys' look at getting sex from a women as some sort of reward or something.



I don't expect anything from anyone. And I don't act the way I do toward people because I expect something in return. I try to treat people, guys and girls alike, with kindness and respect because that's a cornerstone of my belief system.

In any event, for me sex is part of a relationship, not some benefit/reward system.

Sure there are women I'm attracted to, but I don't go into it with sex being at the forefront of my mind.

At this point in my life I'm fine with who I am & the way things are. When a relationship is meant to happen, it will.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I agree with you totally.

One girl told me that a guy came up to her and said, "You are so totally beautiful. I'd do anything for a g/f like you."

Her reaction? "He doesn't know anything about ME, but he's willing to be a pet. Since he doesn't really like ME, just my bod, then I have carte blanche to act like whatever I want."

I thought her reaction said a lot about her, but it explains why the "nice guys" get treated like crap too. If guys are willing to do anything for nothing, they get what they asked for.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hey...I'm a nice guy. I'm definitely not gay. Is there a clause that says if you are in a relationship and are nice to a girl you aren't gay???

that has to be somewhere in the rules.

--joe
--joe
HISPA #69
The Best Band in the WORLD!!!
The new full length album "See What You Can Find"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I know one guy who was at one point 'the nice guy' to me.... we went down one road... I figured out what he was after... and now I am nothing to him. Nothing. I may as well not exist in his eyes.

I know another guy who is genuinely a good person.. a 'nice guy' and not gay.



Be careful. Not every case is the same but Yes, it is true that some guys behave gentlemanly and politely and generously because they are trying to get you to like them. Some are doing it as a "scheme," while others do it because they are genuinely good natured, friendly, caring, "sweet," etc.

It's hard to draw a line between a guy who uses "niceness" in a way that is calculated and scheming, and a guy who really wants to show in a condensed and efficient way how good a boyfriend he would make for you. It's rather like the show of strength that male animals perform in order to woo a female for mating. I don't see how this is wrong, actually. A guy might offer you help with something, like moving your possessions into a new home, as a means of showing you in a quick and efficient way that he'd be good to you, generous, selfless. What other way of attracting a mate is better? Women go home with guys who flash cash, a hot smile, bedroom eyes, and a cheap line at a bar! Is doing nice things for a woman any less respectable than that?

What may have happened in your case is that he did act this way, hoped it would attract you to him as a good man who is worth getting romantically involved with. When rebuffed, he got insulted and felt he had wasted his time and his niceness. Maybe he got off-put by your not recognizing his "offer." Maybe he felt that you surely had to have known he was putting himself on the table, and all you did was accept ("use") his kindness. (I've been there.)

It is hard to fault a guy for this, although ideally a person should be willing to accept that simply being a nice person to somebody is not a guarantee that they will "like you like you" -- if attraction is not there. It's not fair to the woman to expect that just because you're nice to her, she'll "fall for you." Shouldn't she be allowed to find, or not find, you attractive, with your kindness being a separate issue?

A guy should be a nice guy because being nice is its own reward. He should then hope that he will also find a woman who values it and wants him -- in part -- for those qualities that make him a "nice guy."

I'm still waiting for mine.

Blue skies,
-
-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

IMO... there aren't enough nice guys out there! nice guys rock! i know a bunch of em. and they all rock!

here's to the nice guys out there... :D!!!

B|



This nice guy has been smitten with you ever since he first saw that avatar picture! :)
Are you as beautiful inside as your face is there? That would make you a prize! If the personality anwhere near matches the face... whoaa boy!

-
-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

IMO... there aren't enough nice guys out there! nice guys rock! i know a bunch of em. and they all rock!

here's to the nice guys out there... :D!!!

B|



This nice guy has been smitten with you ever since he first saw that avatar picture! :)
Are you as beautiful inside as your face is there? That would make you a prize! If the personality anwhere near matches the face... whoaa boy!

-



awe. :$ you MUST be gay!!! hahahaha! i kid! i kid! you are such a sweetie jeff! thanks for making me smile! ;):)

ladies... jeff is a VERY VERY VERY nice guy!!! B|

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have been doing extensive research into this subject over the yearsB| No really, and here are my current conclusions.

Girls mostly agree on what kind of man they want. It varies between social groups, levels of intelligence, that kind of thing, but it seems to be quite uniform. From least to most important, they want someone good looking, intelligent, funny and exciting. Where they differ is how well they can detect these qualities and what these qualities really mean to them.

Now here is something that one has to realize. Most people in this world do not know who they are and are not at peace with themselves. Especially sexually. It is rare that a girl will admit that what she wants is sex and nothing else, and it usually requires either a great degree of maturity or a calamity in her personal life. Why do you think drunkenness leads to sex? You do not lose control after 5 shots of vodka and a beer. It's just an excuse. Pavlov's dog, if you will.

Finally, and I think this is most important, if what you want is to get into her pants as quickly as you can, it doesn't matter what you really are. The only thing that matters is whether she perceives you to be what she wants. It doesn't matter if you're intelligent, it only matters if you can look the part. It doesn't matter if you're naturally funny and creative, it only matters if you can tell a joke at the right time, or make an ass of yourself appropriately, even if you're just copying someone. Most importantly, you have to be exciting. You have to give her that warm fuzzy feeling, if you know what I mean;) This makes scoring an almost trivial matter. It also explains the Bad Boyz complaint.

A friend of mine summarized this approach last weekend very eloquently: "You have to be loud. If you're modest and hardworking, you get jack sh*t."

A corollary of this is, if you only want to get laid as quickly as you can, you basically have to pretend to be someone you are not, ie, lie. It is unlikely that a serious lasting relationship will start this way. Hence, nice guys get less but last longer;)

-- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo
Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

A friend of mine summarized this approach last weekend very eloquently: "You have to be loud. If you're modest and hardworking, you get jack sh*t."

A corollary of this is, if you only want to get laid as quickly as you can, you basically have to pretend to be someone you are not, ie, lie. It is unlikely that a serious lasting relationship will start this way. Hence, nice guys get less but last longer;)



Exactly. There are those of us who are not willing to act as someone we're not, just to get laid. It explains why some of us wait a good long time between girlfriends. Like you said, it comes more easily to guys who find themselves willing to put out whatever "vibe" girls pick up on and want in the short term. But what of substance is left behind after that first fling and an attempt to see if it will all last? Not much. Often, not anything.

So I continue to wait for a quality girl to discover the value of the fact that with me, you get an honest, loyal, trustworthy, intelligent, funny, interesting, exciting guy who just doesn't care to show that off like an idiot at every opportunity, just to get some action.

Blue skies,
-
-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jeffrey, I agree with a post of yours!:o

pigs fly by

Cheers dude.

Quote

So I continue to wait for a quality girl to discover the value of the fact that with me, you get an honest, loyal, trustworthy, intelligent, funny, interesting, exciting guy who just doesn't care to show that off like an idiot at every opportunity, just to get some action.



Modest, too;)

-- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo
Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Jeffrey, I agree with a post of yours!:o

pigs fly by

Cheers dude.

Quote

So I continue to wait for a quality girl to discover the value of the fact that with me, you get an honest, loyal, trustworthy, intelligent, funny, interesting, exciting guy who just doesn't care to show that off like an idiot at every opportunity, just to get some action.



Modest, too;)



I have to be the most modest person you, or anyone you know, will ever meet. In fact, no one even dares challenge my modesty because they know that my modesty kicks the ass of their modesty, hands down. My modesty is superior!! :D:P;)

Blue skies,
-
-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

One girl told me that a guy came up to her and said, "You are so totally beautiful. I'd do anything for a g/f like you."

Her reaction? "He doesn't know anything about ME, but he's willing to be a pet. Since he doesn't really like ME, just my bod, then I have carte blanche to act like whatever I want."



Thats not being a nice guy. Thats being desperate with little self confidence. Big diff.
Remster

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

Thats being desperate with little self confidence.


And you'd know alllll about be desperate :P
Out of curiosity - what dosage of ghb did you use to get her down the aisle?



Fock off weielddbleeueeu.

For the record, I was a lonely, new jumper at a new dropzone in a foreign land (Alberta :D), and I was forced to drink spiked punch by these awfull regulars at dinner. Then, I was taken advantage off by this woman skydiver. Yep, thats my story. B|
Remster

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Then, I was taken advantage off by this woman skydiver. Yep, thats my story.


Ya know, I wouldn't believe a word of that if I didn't have a similar story. Mine even involved a dancing banana. Sigh... just an innocent pawn in a seductive temptress’ game.
it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0