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tunaplanet

Hunting Joke

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A couple of Alabama hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?



Forty-two

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This guy is walking in the forest with a shot gun and sees a bear sunning himself on a rock. He takes aim, fires and misses.
The bear comes running down the mountain grabs this guy by the neck and says I'll fuck u or kill u; take your pick. Poor guy just turns around and lowers his trousers and bends over. The bear gives him a good one.
This guy is really pissed off and wants to kill this bear. He goes home and gets his 3006 and goes back into the forest the next day.
Sees the bear on the same rock, takes aim , fires and misses. The bear comes running down, catches him by the neck and the previous days story is repeated again.
Now this guy is REALLY mad and goes ghome and gets his elephant gun and goes looking for the bear again. He sees the bear, takes aim, fires and misses. The bear comes running down the mountain, catches him by the neck and u know what happens next.
This was the absulute limit and this guy after nursing his sore behind for a couple of days, picks up his Bazooka and goes looking for the bear again. He sees the bear, takes aim, fires and misses.
The bear comes running down the mountain, grabs him by the neck, eyes the man suspiciously and says,"You're not really here for the hunting, are you?"
Speed Racer
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:)
After an hour or so of dragging his buddy outta the woods, and over to an emergency room the shooter finally get the attention of a doctor.....:|B|
" Doc Doc ,, Is my buddy gonna make it?? will he pull through?? !!!! , he excitedly asks..[:/]
.... " I think we can save him" the Doctor replies,,,
" But it would have been a lot easier, :| [:/]
if you didn't gut him and field-dress him, before you brought him in here " !!! >:(:S:D:ph34r:B|;) :P

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