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Vallerina

Chemistry

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Okay, so it's probably been discussed before, and no one has the answers, but I don't really care! :P And, no, nothing sparked this thread...well, nothing other than reading some of my extremely old diaries! :)
One thing I've never understood is chemistry between two people. I never understood how there could be two guys who are extremely similar, but I'll only have chemistry with one. I never understood how one person could feel chemistry and not the other.

So, what are your theories? What's behind chemistry? It's not looks or common interests, that's for sure. So, what is it?
There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

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Have you ever looked at someone at just the right time and that look told you a lot about them?


Hmm....that's an interesting question. Yes, I have. I have looked at someone who was the only other person laughing in the room, and that told me a lot about them. It told me they were just as weird as me! :)
There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

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I have no clue. If I did, maybe I could figure out why guys I feel chemistry with always think of me as a "buddy"! [:/]

it's a pretty amazing thing when it hits hard, though. I think some of it is pheremones - I've felt chemistry with people before, but only one time have I had a pure pheremonal reaction to someone - guy sitting near (but not with) my friends at a bar. I took one look at him and I couldn't focus on anything else and had to figure out a way to talk to him, so I just sat down next to him and started talking (not normal behavior for me). I told my friends after he left "people that beautiful don't usually talk to me in real life." Saw him a few days later and realized "He's cute, but hardly beautiful" but I was sooooo blown away by the pheremonal reaction I'd had to him (and yes, I was sober!), I saw him as totally gorgeous. That... is chemistry, but I can't explain it (or why it wasn't there as strong the next time I saw him).
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

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Maybe your subconcious knows a lot more about what you want than you do. Ever tried to compare all those chemistry in the past to find the common denominator and still come up with nothing?
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"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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Chemistry can be in a lot of things. I have had amazing connection and chemistry with people I have only just spoken with on the phone. When we stopped speaking to one another, I was genuinely disappointed. It's been months but I still miss talking to him and think of him once in awhile and we never even met. Chemistry can be personality driven completely and also physically driven. I have also met a man and found it instant. It was great, we dated for three years. The chemistry is still amazing when we meet up.

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Ever tried to compare all those chemistry in the past to find the common denominator and still come up with nothing?


There is a common denominator. The guys I've had chemistry with I laugh a lot with. However, there are guys that are attractive/fun/nice/smart/etc, and I'll laugh a lot with them, but there's no chemistry.
There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

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a combination of looks, personality, intelligence, and phermones. All humans are very driven by smells. I met a girl once, who had a good combination of the above plus phermones. Something about the way she smelled (not perfume) drove me nuts.

my two cents

"You did what?!?!"

MUFF #3722, TDSM #72, Orfun #26, Nachos Rodriguez

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a combination of looks, personality, intelligence, and phermones. All humans are very driven by smells. I met a girl once, who had a good combination of the above plus phermones. Something about the way she smelled (not perfume) drove me nuts.

my two cents



See....I told you....;)
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A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

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Well,

Not to attempt to ruin the mystery of chemistry, but, it's actually quite a natural thing if you think of it.

Natural selection, survival of the race, many many things are happening behind the scenes when two people pair up to mate.

In alot of cases, the "need" is so strong, the desire so overwhelming, that common sense is thrown aside and nature makes all the choices.

You've seen it time and time again, guy or girl, who is befuddled because of the relationship choices they've made. They always seem to satisfy the beast within, but leave alot to desire elsewhere where theres need.

Ok, my theory is, these people (all of us in some cases) have just witnessed genetic slavery. We've been manipulated by nature, because nature saw the strength in the match.

Problem is, nature is looking for physical survival in many cases. Leaving out the nuances that a human requires for fulfillment.

There you have it. Thats my theory.

You got admit though, when it comes to getting the heart thumping and the blood racing, Nature knows her shit. Wow. lol

j
It's a gas, gas, gas...

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I definately agree with Salsa Johns observation. There is a lot about human biology that we don't know yet and a lot about "attraction" that has to do with senses not yet understood. I'm hoping that in the next 50-100 yrs, there will be significant advancement... but then we might get to the point that matchmaking is based on genetics and biology... where's the fun in that?!

p.s. and why exactly are you quoting the private brain care specialist, Gag Halfrunt?

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I was strongly attracted to a rather plainish looking female engineer on my ship. Maybe it was the fact that she could change the lube-oil of some of the machinery that drove the attraction. Her pheremones were definitely f-76 fuel-oil:)
_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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One thing I've never understood is chemistry between two people. I never understood how there could be two guys who are extremely similar, but I'll only have chemistry with one.



It wasn't you; The other guy was obviously gay.:)
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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Chemistry is just all in the mind. So is sexual attraction. We psyche ourselves into believing whatever we want. It's not natural or special it is just timing and accidental proximity.



pretty much... it is an unconscious decision by those who do not know/understand themselves very well.. for those who have taken the time to examine themselves, their desires, and pattern of behavior, it is a conscious choice. One of the prime factors that separates Humans from animals.

like most things in life, you get the energy out of it that you put into it in the first place.. it may only take an instant to decide, but once you've made that decision(conscious or not) few people ever go back and reevaluate...
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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

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All humans are very driven by smells.



There is no doubt about that, and I never knew it until recently. I have this cologne that, for whatever reason, reacts with my body chemistry in freaky ways. I have had incredible reactions from females while wearing it that I know I would not have gotten otherwise. I was even approached by a guy who asked me about it (that was weird). Who knew?!?
_________________________________________
-There's always free cheese in a mouse trap.

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So, what are your theories? What's behind chemistry? It's not looks or common interests, that's for sure. So, what is it?



I don't know... but I'm taking a chemistry class this semester, so I'll ask the teacher and get back to you. :P

But seriously, I have no answer to your question. It's something I've always wondered about too. Most of the people I've felt a very strong attraction to (had that "chemistry" with) don't seem to have much in common with each other - and don't necessarily have a lot in common with me.

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