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jigneshsoni

Where did I go wrong?

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I have never given up in life. Always achieved what I wanted. But sky diving is 1 thing that is something I have not been able to achieve what I wanted. I have tried and tried and tried even harder and I failed. I know I know many of you are going to say "Failed, how come?" If you landed and are fine you didn't fail" But thats not what I am talking about.

Here is my history of sky diving:

Somtime in 2002. Wanted to pursue sky diving but there my personal and financial situation didn't allow me. But I knew then that someday I will sky dive and will sky dive good.

In 2005 I decided to take the AFF program and I kept repeating levels. It's hard to explain why I kept repeating levels. I also injured myself, nothing major, but it would scare me. I wanted to get it right so bad. I was so determined to get it and get my "A" license. I was costing me a lot to repeat levels. I was not even having fun. It is easy for many people to say "have fun" But from my prespective it is not easy. It is scary, challenging and it is not easy to have fun with no success and even getting hurt. The fact that I still continued it tells me how badly I want to do it. But with no success it really is hard to go on. Money was the major factor I had to finally give up. I could not afford to keep spending money and not make progress.

2007 9 more jumps: In 2007 I jumped again since I wanted it so bad. I changed the place and changed the program which made mos sense to me. Again I was not progressing, I can atleast say very very slow progress and again I was not having fun. There was too much to deal with, the fear, spending money wihout mush progress and all that again the same thing. When you keep spending money and you are not progressing much and not having fun, I believe you get to a point where you start questioning yourself why you are doing this and all that? Also you keep getting injured here and there makes you feel even moe nervous and depressed. I finally gave up!!!!!


OK now this is 2008 and almost end of the season, I wonder where did I go wrong? Don't I have basic skills that is required for this sport? Have I been so unlucky to get bad instructions 2 times? I doubt that. Was I not committed enough? I really don't know. What I know is that I want to do this. I want to enjoy this. I want to have fun. I really don't how? I tried 2 times, didn't work out.

Are there other people out there who went through what I have been through? Am I alone? I just hope not. I have head many people struggled in their early days, but really don't know anybody who did actually made so many student jumps (costing average 150$) and still stick to the sport.

I still want this and want this really bad. I live in NJ. I wish there was some place that would give me some kind of personal training and commit to me the way I would want to commit to sky diving. I wish there would be a way that somebody could commit to train me, work with my in every way to get me sky diving. Somway that I don't have to spend per jump basis, but spend for the program which would gurantee some results.

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I went through a tough patch during aff. What exactly were you having problems with? My main issue was the fact that I wasn't relaxed enough and with that, I couldn't achieve the proper arched body position. I repeated Cat A once, and repeated Cat C (release dive) three times. Just before my third attempt at Cat C, I took a trip to NC and spent 30 minutes in a tunnel. It was expensive and I would have much rather used that money for actual skydives, but it was something that I felt I needed to do if I ever wanted to progress any further. It worked like a charm and I completed the rest of my aff jumps with ease over the following couple of weeks.

I understand your feeling of wanting it so bad, because I felt the same way ... And I felt the same frustration before fixing my problems and moving on. Perhaps not to the extent of your struggles, but the feeling was there. I know that everyone says "have fun, have fun, have fun" ... But it wasn't possible for me to have fun while I continued to fail the release dive.

If you still have the desire and the money, don't give up. I am curious to know what your actual problems are. You've done 20 some aff jumps, is that correct?
Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs

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You need to RELAX!!! Forced fun never is. Just based on your post I would say that you are way too serious about this. The fun comes from just being in the moment, not stressing about your performance. If you are that stressed in the air, go to a tunnel. Work on whatever it is you are having problems with, without the stress of going splat if you fuck it up. You need a serious chill pill. Go get drunk or something, then try again. After you sleep it off, of course!

D
The brave may not live forever, but the timid never live at all.

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Coupla things...
~skydiving isn't for everyone. I've met people that really want to do it, but it just isn't part of their life-skillset. They're great people. They're not dumb, clumsy, or incapable. Enjoying the sport simply eludes them.

~It really sounds like you're looking too far forward. Like you want to be able to XXX and XXX, but haven't gained that ability in 20 minutes. Can you point to anything that you've mastered in 20 minutes or less? Tunnel will help with the freefall.

You're not alone in being frustrated at the start.
Find an instructor that can help you relax. Your post suggests you're really uptight. That's no fun for anyone, not you nor your instructors.

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First - what someone else said. Check out the tunnel and getting some specific instruction.

Second - don't give up! If you really want it you will find a way. A couple years ago a older gentleman started AFF and after several tries was basically told this was not the sport for him. He then went to another dz where they were more willing to work with him. He managed to get his A license even though it took him around 50 jumps!

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I got my A-licence at 91 jumps and finished my RW-instruction course at 170-ish.

I didn't 'fail' many jumps though, I was busy having fun. Sure, I had to repeat stuff, some of it many times - but I don't regard those jumps as money down the drain - there was always something I did right or could learn from and at the very least the freefall time is counting for my B-licence.

In my opinion, the only jump I "failed" was my attempt at my first 8-way. I was way too nervous since I was not completely ready and wanted to succeed way too much, as. this would be the last chance at an eight way for a while (I'm from a Cessna 206 DZ - six jumpers tops). Shortly summarising the jump, I nearly torpedoed the formation and ended up stopping below the formation, and without realising that for a couple of seconds.

Remember you are (should be) skydiving to have fun, not to measure yourself against the "pro's". An A-licence, passing a level or standing up your landings are not the "holy grail" of skydiving - walking away from your landing so you can try again is.

You might like to check out this thread and this thread
Finally, I did two searches for you: check here and here... you're not alone.
"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

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If the money is an issue have you considered static line program? Where I'm from I get roughly 6-7 jumps in static line program for the cost of one AFF jump. So the minimum 7 AFF jumps costs the same as about 42-50 jumps in static line program.
Your rights end where my feelings begin.

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First, if you live in NJ, have you considered Kutztown Skydiving Center (Kutztown, PA)? I'm an AFF instructor there, and I guarantee you won't find more personalized instruction, instructors dedicated to personalizing your AFF program to your individual needs, and doing whatever it takes to make sure you're successful. It's a smaller DZ, one cessna, so we aren't running students through like cattle that have numbers, not names.

Next off... you have 21 jumps spread out over 3 years. 21 minutes of freefall experience spread over 3 years. Exactly how to you expect to master anything with that little practice? ;) Skydiving does take dedication, and part of that means making a jump or two every weekend (more if possible), as you learn so much faster that way.

Third, who cares if you repeated levels? A LOT of students repeat levels. I have a good friend now that is a hell of a jumper, took her something like 15 jumps (in her case all done back to back, not spread out like yours) just to get off of AFF. Her struggles as a student will eventually make her a very good coach. There's something to be said for working hard.

Fourth, as someone else mentioned, you come across as a very intense personality type. As a result, you aren't having fun, and your instructors probably also aren't having fun dealing with that kind of attitude? Don't beat yourself up for this... I was the same way as a student, it's just how we are, but something you need to out grow, just like I did. Skydiving is far more psychological than anything else. If you have the mind set in order, the physical skills follow. Intense personality types tend to fight with the air and be very stiff in freefall. You have to learn to relax, set thinking aside, work with the air, treat the air and your canopy as partners, not enemies. Those mindsets will do a lot for your AFF progression.

Feel free to PM me if you want to try out Kutztown or need more information. We bust our butts with students and we want this to be a fun experience for all concerned.

Jen


Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

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The tunnel as others have suggested is probably the greatest tool a beginer can use. Advantages are you can learn to fly your body and do so comfortably with no altitude stress and 50 sec time limit. After a 15 min session you have about same FF time as 15 dives. When I went through AFF I did a session w/ AFF instructor and it made a huge difference next jumps were no big deal after you learn correct body position, turns, speed ctl.B|Of course as everything else in Skydiving its not cheap but fun.

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Thanks for all your responses. Like always all you guys rock.

I missed to mention a few things in my original post so here goes:

I already did a 25 minute tunnel time.

All my jumps were not AFF. They were combination of Tandems, IAD, AFP, custom. But on an averge it did cost me around 160$ a jump.

The very reason I am posting here shows that I still want to do this; just don't know how. I want to learn to sky dive and enjoy it like most of you very bad; but don't we all have some kind of $$$ limit to how much we are willing to spend to achive something. Ofcourse I want to do this very bad, but like all of you there are also other things that are important in life besides sky diving. Family, job, kid, career. I really don't know about others, but just becuase I have to limit on how much I want to spend on things I want to do in life. Examples: I donate money to charity every year. It gives me happiness at some level. Ofcourse I can donate a lot more but does not mean I am going to. Nobody has "unlimited" resource of money. So we have to plan how much we can spend on what.

Sky diving is a risky sport and scary too especially in the beginning. The thought of me jumping out of the plane brings a smile on my face and want to do it so bad. Also scares me, I don't want to die or get hurt. I have wanted this very bad; but like I mentioned I have a limit on how much I want to spend on this. I already crossed that limit just becuase I wanted it so bad convincing myself that it will be all worth it. :-) But it still didn't work out for me. I stopped and I still wanted it bad, so started again obviously didn't have "unlimited" resource of money this time either and not seeing myself progress is very upsetting and discouraging. Finally gave up...........

I know it is going to be very hard for most of you to understand my situation becuase you didn't go through what I am going thorugh. You have to walk the shoe to find out where and how much it bites. But the only thing that makes me feel a little better is that I am not alone like you guys mentioned. Thanks for all your support.

Now coming to the point, I have wanted this and sitll want this and want this still bad. I want to do this. Is there any way I can get this done without worrying about money. I have showed my committment to get this right by sticking to it for so long with the failures and injuries and still wanting it. Is there anyway, anybody, any DZ that can make this happen for me?

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I know it is going to be very hard for most of you to understand my situation becuase you didn't go through what I am going thorugh.



maybe you'd best explain this better.
We *all* went through what you're going through.
Everyone has concerns about money.
Everyone has concerns about their safety.
Everyone is fearful of various aspects of skydiving when they get started, and some never quite get through it.

What _specifically_ are you looking for here? What _specifically_ is giving you trouble? What _specifically_ are you looking to have be different?

You haven't said specifically what it is that "isn't working out." Landings? Exits? Freefall?
What do you want to achieve in 21 jumps? World-class canopy pilot? VRW Pro? Four way champion? Stand-up landings?
What do your instructors specifically tell you about your abilities? they should be writing in your logbook. What are they writing?

you continually refer to wanting to "do this." What does "doing this" mean to you? What constitues a "failure?"
The risk will *always* be there. Even the best make mis-judgements and are injured or worse. Don't fool yourself into ever thinking this is a safe sport.
It's not.

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Pretty hard to say what exactly you need based on what you have told us. The tone in your posts makes me feel like you are scared to skydive. If you are spending too much time thinking about that, you become incapable of learning. Think, deer in headlights. They just sit there and don't soak in the fact that the car is about to run them over.

Maybe I'm wrong, don't know. You said you did some time in the tunnel but didn't tell us how that went. Did you do good in there? If you did then I think it might be helpful for you to sit down with an instructor and explain the things that you are so afraid of. You also have to understand two things, everyone is scared in the beginning. The instruction and training you get is designed to give you the confidence you need to move past that. Work it out with an instructor, what are the things that are bothering you. Build up some confidence that you can handle those situations. Secondly, everyone has to at some point come to terms with and accept that you can get seriously hurt or killed doing this. Everyone comes to accepting that in their own way, you need to find yours. If you can't- this sport just isn't for you.

That said, I really hope you can succeed. Most of this stuff is just a matter of practicing the right things enough times but you still have to be able to think on your feet and make decisions on your own. You need to have the confidence to do that. I don't want to discourage you because you are clearly committed to doing this. Just sit down and work out the issues one at a time based on previous performance and what your instructors think you need to practice. You also have to trust that they are telling you the truth and know what they are doing. If you don't, find a dropzone where you can trust them.

As for the money, nothing can really be done about that, if you run out, spend some of your "jumping" time working at the dropzone to earn some extra cash. I wish you luck! Do great!
~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

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I agree with DSE completely.

Everyone on the planet likes to think that we are so much different that everyone else, that our problems are bigger, our situations unique and no one else get get it. Reality is, none of us are all that special, we are more alike than we are different, and our hurdles are more similar than you think they are.

First, what is your 'life priority' and where does skydiving fall on your 'to do' list? If it's a high priority right now, you'll make it work, if it's lower on the totem pole of importance, it may not be a bad idea to focus your efforts on more important facets of your life for now. The sky isn't going anywhere, and there's nothing wrong with putting it off if that's what you need for your own personal balance.

Money? It's an issue for all of us, but we all made it work. You can too. You can save up for a year or two... have a skydiving fund with $6000 in it. That will cover your fees for your first 30ish jumps, A license, and all your first gear, assuming you buy used. Some of us saved up, some of us worked an extra job, some of us cut corners in other areas of our lives, some of us started working at the DZ in low paying grunt jobs and worked our way up in order to be around the sport.

Skills? That comes with time and jumps. You have too few jumps over too much time in too many disciplines.... all that erraticism only hurts you and slows your progress. Learn patience, grasshopper, for only then your skills will progress. It sounds like you're jumping around from one training method/DZ to the next and not spending serious time focusing on one DZ and one training program in order to progress from one jump to the next. Focus more.

Family? Do you really think none of us have families? :)
Career? Yep, most of us have one of those too. It's about finding balance between job, family, other parts of life, and jumping.

Your life is in your control. None of us can hand skydiving to you.... you have to be patient, be creative, and make it work, if that's what you really want. You'll find that this sport is full of people that love to help determined jumpers, but this sport is also full of wanna be jumpers that are all talk and no effort.


Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

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Maybe I've never paid attention to these kinds of threads, but it seems like there has been a rash of them in the last couple of weeks.

ie.

Is skydiving for me?

Forced to put dream on hold


Is this normal?

- David
SCR #14809

"our attitude is the thing most capable of keeping us safe"
(look, grab, look, grab, peel, punch, punch, arch)

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Is this normal?



Tough question. I'm sitting here trying to think of one person who is "normal"....nope, can't recall any.

Oooo, Oooo...I got it!
Abbie Normal!

Ok, Ok, so it was a bad joke.
(Don't blame me...it was Mel Brooks' idea.)
:D:D


To anser your question: Yes.
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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Yes I am scared of skydiving. But who isn't?

I understand it makes me incapable of learning when you are scared. The question is how not to be scared? I have read ton of post and books on not to be scared, but I don't think it is helping me much.

Sorry about my tone in my post, I am just very frustrated not being able to achieve my goals in sky diving. Well goals could keep changing, but my current goal is to get my "A" license so I can jump unsupervised so I can afford jumping more and can develop my skills at my own pace rather than constantly worried about how much the jump has costed me and I was not able to clear the level.

I just wish there was a better program to learn where each invidual accordingly to his/her personality could learn at his/her own pace at a reasonable price. As a student I have a lot to deal while I am skydiving, I should not be having to deal with eaither a perform certain things in the dive or "you just lost another approximately 175$" It is overkill of a price one has to be pay while not progressing.

I appreciate all of you responding my post and your private messages, I know I will have to work this out somehow myself like most things in life, but any more guidance that will actually lead me to my "A" will be great.

If I analyze my major issues while I am learning to sky dive are the following. I honestly do not know how to overcome it. I am sure almost all of you had the same issues but I guess those didn't affect you as much as it is affecting me or you guys handled it much better than the way I am handing it. I get all that, I just don't know what to do about it now?

2 major problems I have:

1) I am scared......who isn't?
2) $$$$$$.


Thanking all of you for your advice and kind words.


Regards
Jignesh

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1. I am still scared every single jump. Fear isn't the problem. Managing fear is. Get Brian Germain's book "Transcending Fear"... written by a skydiver, so great information there for you on this very topic.

2. $$$ Save up, pick up an extra job, work at the DZ, there are lots of options to do that. We all made it work.

If you spent a lot more time on the DZ, you'd understand where your money went and why AFF jumps cost so much.... no one is getting rich off of owning a DZ or working for one. As an instructor, I make probably $200/weekend (both packing and instructing total). Of that, $50 goes to gas, $50 to my dog sitter so I can even be at the DZ all weekend without worrying about my pets. $60 to taxes since I get a 1099. That leaves $40, which usually covers food or a case of beer. If anything, I lose money as an instructor. You'll find that most of us are not in the sport for money.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

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The question is how not to be scared? I have read ton of post and books on not to be scared, but I don't think it is helping me much.
Have you told your instructors that you're dealing with fear? They might have some good advice on things you can do. Further, by letting them know, they'll probably try to do things to relax you. I always found this frustrating, because I can't really hear people or understand what they're saying, but while I was thinking, "Why don't you shut up? You must realize I'm just smiling and nodding", I was still smiling and nodding at them, pretending to understand, and relaxing.

Are you taking the basic relaxation steps? On the ride to altitude, take deep breaths whenever you're feeling nervous. Take a deep breath before you climb out, and then, before you do the count, take a deep breath, then count (let your instructor know you plan to do it, so he can evaluate whether you rushed it).

Don't rush anything. 1 second is a long time up there, so you can take time to do what you need in order to relax a bit.

Of course, relaxing when you're skydiving isn't the same as relaxing when you're at home on the couch watching TV. You just need to get your nerves to the point where you have power over them, and they don't control you.

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Sorry about my tone in my post, I am just very frustrated not being able to achieve my goals in sky diving.



Oh, I hear ya. I was so frustrated during my 10second delays. All I had to do was fall and pull. And repeatedly I'd fail. And when I passed to 15second delays, I think the only reason is that the instructor felt sorry for me (or felt that more freefall might give me a chance to fix things).

What can be simpler than falling? Well, the falling part is easy. I'd place a big bet that you do that successfully every time you get out of an airplane. However, falling and remaining in control is a lot more difficult. And on top of it all, you're expected to deploy and then pilot a parachute to a safe, unhurt landing! There's a lot to figure out. Don't feel bad if you don't "get" it the first time.

Quote

my current goal is to get my "A" license so I can jump unsupervised so I can afford jumping more and can develop my skills at my own pace rather than constantly worried about how much the jump has costed me and I was not able to clear the level.


Are you ready? When you get your license, the next step is getting your own gear. For me, skills were hard to develop, but I started when I was in a low-paying job, and then transitioned to unemployment. The A license dropped costs a bit, but suddenly people expected that I had my own gear. So you're still renting, and it's still expensive. And there's nobody to guide you! Don't rush to get your A, some things are easy as a student.

Quote

As a student I have a lot to deal while I am skydiving, I should not be having to deal with eaither a perform certain things in the dive or "you just lost another approximately 175$" It is overkill of a price one has to be pay while not progressing.


Take a step back to reality. You are progressing. Even if you were completely overloaded with fear and sensory overload, you're one (big) step closer to being a good skydiver. Regardless of how big a step forward you took, you're still responsible for the costs of the airplane, instructor, gear, and DZ.

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1) I am scared......who isn't?


I'm generally very relaxed on the ride to altitude. I sit down close my eyes, visualize the skydive, and at times, nearly fall asleep. Not so long ago, the idea of falling asleep on the ride to altitude seemed crazy, but eventually you realize that there's nothing you can do other than visualize and take deep breaths. Eventually deep breaths seemed pointless, and the dive was visualized, so I could lay back and relax.

When the door opens, (or actually a few minutes before, when we're approaching altitude) I'm still nervous as hell. At this point, I've probably gone over in my mind what I'm going to do, what could go wrong, and how I'd likely react to those situations. So I take more deep breaths and move to the door, and do what I've planned to do.

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2) $$$$$$.


Skydiving will never be cheap. Student jumps are expensive, but one you're not a student, renting gear is still expensive. And then buying gear is a hastle and a half, and now, rather than having to come up with a couple hundred dollars for the weekend, you have to come up with a couple thousand dollars in one shot.

And then you have to maintain that gear. I'm still shopping for gear, so I don't have direct experience, but I know I'm going to have to pay for repacks, relines, and batteries/checks for an AAD.

Cut costs where you can (do you really need cable television? can you switch to PLPD on your car insurance? can you get away with not buying beer for that first?). Most people I know who skydive regularly live paycheck to paycheck, and it's not that bad a way to live.

(Edited to add two things: (1) I don't have that many jumps, so standard disclaimer applies: talk to your instructors about your issues, most of them are helpful. (2) Stop being hard on yourself. It's tough stuff to learn.)

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What specifically scares you? Discuss this with your instructors.

Is it that the parachute won't open or you'll have equipment problems? See if you can learn how to pack and then watch the packers pack your parachute, you'll see it was done properly and it'll be fine.

Is it the landings? Work with your instructors, remind them how it went last time, get advice and then get a thorough debriefing as to how it went this time.

Is it the freefall? Afraid you won't accomplish the manuevers? That's what it seems to me, you don't want to "waste" money on jumps. Maybe you need more tunnel time, if you're able to do fine in the tunnel, there's no reason you shouldn't be doing fine in AFF. What specifically are your instructors telling you that is causing you to fail your jumps?

Give us some more specifics and we'll give you answers tailored to you.

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I failed my stage 4 jump because i was unstable. I was shattered. For 3 weeks i re lived every moment of the jump and looked at myself in the mirror and tried to get the perfect arch. I tried to get my legs and arms in exactly the right spot.
On my next attempt i had a new instructor and he told me that i was way to tense and worried about the whole thing. He told me to push my hips forward and put my arms back and dont worry. If i do that in freefall i will be as stable as. Anyway the dive was no worries and i was stable and passed.
So i learned in this to relax and have fun. Sure i was scared as to get out the door but sometimes there is so much going through my mind that i forgot the most important thing to me in the skydive and that was to concentrate on one thing. As soon as i am in freefall to push your hips towards the ground and you will be stable.

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I agree with DSE completely.

Everyone on the planet likes to think that we are so much different that everyone else, that our problems are bigger, our situations unique and no one else get get it. Reality is, none of us are all that special, we are more alike than we are different, and our hurdles are more similar than you think they are.

First, what is your 'life priority' and where does skydiving fall on your 'to do' list? If it's a high priority right now, you'll make it work, if it's lower on the totem pole of importance, it may not be a bad idea to focus your efforts on more important facets of your life for now. The sky isn't going anywhere, and there's nothing wrong with putting it off if that's what you need for your own personal balance.

Money? It's an issue for all of us, but we all made it work. You can too. You can save up for a year or two... have a skydiving fund with $6000 in it. That will cover your fees for your first 30ish jumps, A license, and all your first gear, assuming you buy used. Some of us saved up, some of us worked an extra job, some of us cut corners in other areas of our lives, some of us started working at the DZ in low paying grunt jobs and worked our way up in order to be around the sport.

Skills? That comes with time and jumps. You have too few jumps over too much time in too many disciplines.... all that erraticism only hurts you and slows your progress. Learn patience, grasshopper, for only then your skills will progress. It sounds like you're jumping around from one training method/DZ to the next and not spending serious time focusing on one DZ and one training program in order to progress from one jump to the next. Focus more.

Family? Do you really think none of us have families? :)
Career? Yep, most of us have one of those too. It's about finding balance between job, family, other parts of life, and jumping.

Your life is in your control. None of us can hand skydiving to you.... you have to be patient, be creative, and make it work, if that's what you really want. You'll find that this sport is full of people that love to help determined jumpers, but this sport is also full of wanna be jumpers that are all talk and no effort.



Very well said Jen and DSE!!

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You keep saying you're incredibly committed to the sport and how much you want to skydive but can I ask why you want to skydive? I haven't seen any mention of your reasons and wonder whether your motives are part of your problems?

I wanted to skydive because I fell in love with falling through the air and playing under a parachute the very first time I experienced it on a tandem so I wanted to repeat that great experience. Are you wanting to achieve a certain status because it's on your ticklist in life or because you fell in love with the sport?

This is in no way an attack on your motives but it may help you to understand why you are so frustrated with your progression.

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