Favourite sayings

[cocheese 0]

My grandpa's favorite was :
There are more horses asses than there are horses.

[SpeedRacer 1]

My grandpa had a few:

" I'm busier n' a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest."

"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions written on the heel!"

Speed Racer
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[SpeedRacer 1]

Here's mine:

"I never drink any beer that's lighter going in than coming out."

Speed Racer
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[freeflyimpaired 0]

From the great red vs. blue series:

"why don't you make that a memo and file it under SHIT I ALREADY KNOW"

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

[rodeochic 0]

I'm posting my favorite picture instead.

[MissBuffDiver 0]

My favorite is the one I try to live by: The blessed of us, should help the rest of us!

Sandy

[wingnut 0]

i personally like the reply when someone is talking to you to say back to them

"what was that one more time, all i herd was, blah, blah, blah, i'm a dirty whore..."

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"i have no reader's digest version"

[Rookie120 0]

"You gotta hate to see that this early in the mornin!"


If you ever jump in Hawaii or already have you know what I'm talkin about on this one, "Your a little long and a little inland, I think you'll be alright"

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck!

[FrEaK_aCcIdEnT 0]

It sounds like ur up an unsanitery tributery(sp?) with an insufficient means of locomotion!

A.K.A. Up shit creak without a paddle!


Edit: thought of another one:

off your ass and on your feet, out of the shade and into the heat.

ExPeCt ThE uNeXpEcTeD!
DoNt MiNd ThE tYpOs, Im LaZy On CoRrEcTiOnS!

[fallingchip 0]

(When driving past one of those yards that looks like a junk yard): "They got more shit than a little bit."

(When seeing a unreasonable price tag or when someone has said something stupid): "That's/You must be...high as giraffe pussy." ( i know that was rude ladies...sorry)

(What to tell someone who can't keep a secret): "You leak like a sift."

(I use this one a work frequently): "I like your method. Do it wrong the first time and get it out of the way."

(I use this at work to...stole it from the movie Thick As Thieves. When I'm asked "Where's your warrant at?") "Behind that preposition."

And last:
(Another I have used at work ONCE, but I took a disciplinary write up for it. When an asshole reminded me that his tax dollars pay my salary) "Well sir, I didn't think they took taxes out of wel-fare checks."

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"A radical man is a man with both feet firmly planted in the air."
-Franklin Delano Roosevelt

[txhoss 0]

Off like a prom dress and easy like a prom date.

Have Rig will travel ...

[globalskyjunkie 0]

my 2 favorites:

1.You know why they don't send donkeys to school??? Because nobody likes a smart-ass!

2. Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!

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I always say the wrong thing, usually because I'm bored

[Guest]

1. HEY ASSHOLE

and

2. How far back can you remember, son? "I remember going to the prom with dad and coming home with mom." he

You can have it good, fast, or cheap: pick two.

[airtwardo 6]

...You can always get a lot more with a gun & a smile...than you can with just a smile!

~Al Capone

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[MikeJD 0]

Inherited from a friend, for when I can't find something -

"If you were my [altimeter/car keys/jacket], where would you be?"

[Rookie120 0]

"It's not gonna suck itself!"

and
"Were off like a Jewish foreskin"

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck!

[robbie 0]

It seemed like a good idea at the time? (I managed to set myself and the motorcycle I was sat on, on fire with this one??)

I’m always in the shit the only thing that changes is the depth

I never made the first team I only made the first team laugh (Billy Bragg)

Roberto The Stupid

[airtwardo 6]

...Somewhere around here...there's a village missing its idiot!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[jasonRose 0]

you'll find it the last place you look.

Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!!

[Rebecca 0]

Dumbest saying: "You just wanna have your cake and eat it too."

Yes, yes I do. Dumbass.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?