Amanduh 0 #1 June 15, 2005 BWAHAAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!! THIS IS ONE SMART, KICK ASS DUDE! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?" I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #2 June 15, 2005 Hehhee, what a clever man!! Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fireflytx 0 #3 June 15, 2005 That was awesome!"Well behaved women rarely make history" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ifall 0 #4 June 15, 2005 THAT, is totally genius!!! In a way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #5 June 15, 2005 I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. *** Oh yes you HAVE!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #6 June 15, 2005 QuoteTHAT, is totally genius!!! In a way. Genius in a "he's still not going to be getting any" sort of way. Unless, that is, she has a wonderful sense of irony and can laugh at his wit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Designer 0 #7 June 15, 2005 A lady friend sent me that a while back.I sent it back basically letting her know that I'm not getting any that night either.Hopefully the next time I see her she will want to play?HeHeHe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MissBuffDiver 0 #8 June 16, 2005 If men really want to score, they have to learn to listen. Really listen. Women love men who listen to what we have to say. Just listen. It means you care what we have to say. No matter what the subject. A man that truly is a good listener will score. So stop buying stuff to make us put out. We know it's a bribe. The present that is given, just because you care is O.K. But, the ones given with the hopes that you will get ? back are not acceptable. I am speaking for most of us, or at least for myself. Lovemaking starts early in the day or even the day before the actual act. It's a look, a homemade dinner, help around the house, a bubble bath, when you know we've had a stressful day. The act starts way before you enter the bedroom. Sorry if I have let the cat out of the bag ladies. But there is an upside. When the man scores, so do YOU. So now you guys know what to do. SCORE ON WITH YER BAD SELF Sandy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #9 June 16, 2005 I hear ya, babe! My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jenfly00 0 #10 June 16, 2005 QuoteIf men really want to score, they have to learn to listen. Really listen. Women love men who listen to what we have to say. Just listen. It means you care what we have to say. No matter what the subject. A man that truly is a good listener will score. So stop buying stuff to make us put out. We know it's a bribe. The present that is given, just because you care is O.K. But, the ones given with the hopes that you will get ? back are not acceptable. I am speaking for most of us, or at least for myself. Lovemaking starts early in the day or even the day before the actual act. It's a look, a homemade dinner, help around the house, a bubble bath, when you know we've had a stressful day. The act starts way before you enter the bedroom. Sorry if I have let the cat out of the bag ladies. But there is an upside. When the man scores, so do YOU. So now you guys know what to do. SCORE ON WITH YER BAD SELF Good advice. For our part, we need to realize that we have been socialized (generally speaking) to act out our feelings and emotions rather than actually put them into words (a result of generations of women dened personal power, but let's not go there just now). I suspect that some part of our frustration with men 'not listening' is that we are not putting into words, what we mean. We are 'speaking' nonverbally in a language we have historically used. What seems clearly expressed to us, frequently is not understood by men. The way I see it, if both genders work on the problems, we all may have a better chance for great sex.YMMV, jen----------------------- "O brave new world that has such people in it". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #11 June 16, 2005 QuoteIf men really want to score, they have to learn to listen. Really listen. Women love men who listen to what we have to say. Just listen. It means you care what we have to say. No matter what the subject. A man that truly is a good listener will score. So stop buying stuff to make us put out. We know it's a bribe. The present that is given, just because you care is O.K. But, the ones given with the hopes that you will get ? back are not acceptable. I am speaking for most of us, or at least for myself. Lovemaking starts early in the day or even the day before the actual act. It's a look, a homemade dinner, help around the house, a bubble bath, when you know we've had a stressful day. The act starts way before you enter the bedroom. Sorry if I have let the cat out of the bag ladies. But there is an upside. When the man scores, so do YOU. So now you guys know what to do. SCORE ON WITH YER BAD SELF I'm sorry... what did you say? I wasn't listening... j/k I actually listen pretty well... but I never get anywhere... at least I don't seem to... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #12 June 16, 2005 QuoteApparently I'm not having sex tonight either. That's OK............sex is RARELY worth what it takes to get it and all the problems associated with it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #13 June 16, 2005 QuoteQuoteApparently I'm not having sex tonight either. That's OK............sex is RARELY worth what it takes to get it and all the problems associated with it. That's what I keep telling myself, too... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #14 June 16, 2005 QuoteThat's what I keep telling myself, too... I think I should just go to the Czeck Republic and buy myself a chick. Then if I get tired of her I can just send her back and get another one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #15 June 16, 2005 Quote I think I should just go to the Czeck Republic and buy myself a chick. Then if I get tired of her I can just send her back and get another one. Whoa!!! you can do that? Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marks 0 #16 June 16, 2005 some of those Czeck girls are HOT too.! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #17 June 16, 2005 QuoteI suspect that some part of our frustration with men 'not listening' is that we are not putting into words, what we mean. We are 'speaking' nonverbally in a language we have historically used. What seems clearly expressed to us, frequently is not understood by men. ... ... ... YMMV, I don't think there's a man in the world whose mileage varies on that point! We really, really suck at knowing what you mean when it's something totally different than what you're actually saying. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb092 0 #18 June 16, 2005 QuoteQuote That's OK............sex is RARELY worth what it takes to get it and all the problems associated with it. What's wrong....is Rosey mad at you What could possibly go wrong? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyjules 0 #19 June 16, 2005 That story was so funny, it made my day. ***Free bird Forever Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumper03 0 #20 June 16, 2005 QuoteQuoteI suspect that some part of our frustration with men 'not listening' is that we are not putting into words, what we mean. We are 'speaking' nonverbally in a language we have historically used. What seems clearly expressed to us, frequently is not understood by men. ... ... ... YMMV, I don't think there's a man in the world whose mileage varies on that point! We really, really suck at knowing what you mean when it's something totally different than what you're actually saying. Blues, Dave If people would just say wth they mean, this would be a non-issue! Scars remind us that the past is real Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #21 June 16, 2005 QuoteIf people would just say wth they mean, this would be a non-issue! It's lunchtime and I'm hungry. I mean it. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #22 June 16, 2005 QuoteIf people would just say wth they mean, this would be a non-issue! I've learned that the general rule is for women to not say what they mean. Rebecca's reply to you is one of those exceptions that proves the rule. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumper03 0 #23 June 16, 2005 QuoteI've learned that the general rule is for women to not say what they mean. Rebecca's reply to you is one of those exceptions that proves the rule. That's why she's one of the cool ones. Scars remind us that the past is real Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #24 June 16, 2005 All i heard was blah blah blah want a quick shag sorry just a simple guyhttp://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swedishcelt 0 #25 June 16, 2005 What do you know rock lover. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
