Zeemax 0 #1 July 5, 2005 I bought a couple of pizza's from the local supermarket the other day. Ate the one a couple of days ago and was about to cook the other now... As i pulled it out the box, imagine my suprise when the bastard was square! shit... what the hell do i do?? Its just waiting to go in the oven so i have about 15 mintues before i get to the real problem. How the fuck do i eat a square pizza?? please.. someone... anyone... help! how do i cut it? how do i consume it?!?!? WIATROSE YOU BASTARDS THE BOX MADE NO REFERENCE TO A SQUARE SNACK! Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #2 July 5, 2005 Uhhhh...............just cut the corners..........you know.........like when you are driving a golf cart. Just don't end up in the emergency room. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arlo 0 #3 July 5, 2005 eat the ice cream instead. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #4 July 5, 2005 thanks.... now has anyone got any real advice?? I've just realised i have no square plates... what the hell do i put it on to eat? It may have seemed like a good idea when they made it, all trendy and what not... but shit the bed, the reality is very different. Square pizza? i mean what the fuck?!?Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GARYC24 3 #5 July 5, 2005 You should eat at least 1 square meal a day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #6 July 5, 2005 i dont have any ice cream.... damn it! this is just going from bad to worse Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #7 July 5, 2005 Can you carve it into a circle, and then glue the ends you cut off to the rest of the pizza with peanut butter?Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #8 July 5, 2005 If you want to eat it, cut it up into slices before placing on plate. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #9 July 5, 2005 Just cut a big x in it. Then you''ll have 4 huge slices. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namgrunt 0 #10 July 5, 2005 start eating at 1 corner ,eating toward center. repeat 3 more times daaaaa59 YEARS,OVERWEIGHT,BALDIND,X-GRUNT LAST MIL. JUMP VIET-NAM(QUAN-TRI) www.dzmemories.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 15 #11 July 5, 2005 You don't have square plate? I thought every self-respecting person had at least one square plate floating around to eat Sushi off of.Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #12 July 5, 2005 hell, we have a chain here in the atlantic provinces that only serves square pizza. they just cut it in squares about 4" or so to a side. i'm not a big fan of it because i happen to like crust, but for crust haters, they have their own section in the middle."Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #13 July 5, 2005 You dumb Brit,sounds to me like you got a Sicilian Pizza. Just cut it into squares and STFU! _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #14 July 5, 2005 well thanks a fucking bunch. I went with the giant X. The peices were too big too eat comfortably and i got it everywhere. Last time i use your advice Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #15 July 5, 2005 Modern“square” pizzas are actually elliptical. You have to learn to make the transition from a round pie to a square pie – we had to learn it back in the day; you have to learn it, too. A round pie is easy to handle, while a square pizza is a high-performance pie. Get proper coaching and learn to use it properly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 0 #16 July 5, 2005 There's no need to fear... UNDERDOG>>>> , nevermind. OK.. there must be a rectangle cookie sheet somewhere in your vacinity. Here's what you do. Put the pizza on the cookie sheet after the pizza is fully cooked. If it is cooked on the cookie pan, then use a second pan. Since all squares are rectangles, the square pizza will fit on the rectangle pan. Proceed with cutting the pizza with the usual circular cutter. This can be tricky. For instane the 4 large slice suggestion is rather good as is the many different squares suggestion. Since pizza is generally finger food, either one will do. Be sure to wash your hands before and after the dining experience. If you're not keen on holding the pizza with your hands, it's enitrely possible to use a knife and a fork to cut the pizza in to small pieces and eat them one at a time. In that instance, the pizza will not require prior slicing with the circular blade. The key to the whole situation is don't let the pizza intimidate you. It's only there for one purpose and it became square just to rile you up and confuse you. don't show fear and it won't bother you. Good luck!My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #17 July 5, 2005 QuoteLast time i use your advice Should have gone with the PB dude...Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #18 July 5, 2005 It was a very large square pizza and i didn't manage to eat all of it... should i consider downsizing to a smaller one next time? I did have some trouble eating it and it did get a bit messy....Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 0 #19 July 5, 2005 QuoteI went with the giant X. The peices were too big too eat comfortably and i got it everywhere. Oh.. bugger. I logged on a tad too late. Well, print out this thread in case the square pizza shows it's face again. Better luck next time.My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #20 July 5, 2005 QuoteThe peices were too big too eat comfortably and i got it everywhere. Once you get the big pieces you are then supposed to fold them in half. Damn have you never been to Chicago? Anyway...........Hey dumbass, you're suppose to blame the whole thing on her and then DEMAND a Girlfalldown sponge bath to take care of the mess. Damn you dumb!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 4 #21 July 5, 2005 For next time, cut it thusly (before) Then expand and rearrange the leftover pieces in the middle like so (after)it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #22 July 5, 2005 i didn't have any, and at my level of experience i didn't want to start eating with a combination og gear i hadn't tried beforePhoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #23 July 5, 2005 But how do you calculate Wing Loading?? Pie-R-Squared!! But wait if If Pie-R-Squared.. Isnt that really a Cobbler? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #24 July 5, 2005 no risk of that... bloody thing! I'm an old timer in pizza eating and i like it round. There may well be benefits to your new fangled square pizzas, but rounds have always been safe and acceptable to me. Why should i change pizza just to keep up wtih everyone else? I'm happy with my choice... maybe one day y'all will come back and try a round...Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #25 July 5, 2005 You fold it in half with the gooey stuff on the inside and call it a calzone. You just pick it up and eat it. When anybody gives you any shit about it, kick their ass. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 1 of 3 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
