ACMESkydiver 0 #26 July 6, 2005 QuoteI went into a Subway sandwich store with a buddy of mine. There were two girls working the counter alternating with the customers. One of the girls had a huge booger hanging out of her nose. It didn't take me long to figure out that my placement on line would mean booger girl would be preparing my sandwich. As it was getting close, the girl wiped her nose with her hand and did not proceed to wash it. She then turned to me and asked what I wanted. Thinking quick, I replied that I had not yet made up my mind and she should help the next customer which was my buddy. I never did tell him...I was being nice. D'oh, a true 'blue falcon'...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highfly 0 #27 July 6, 2005 I was sat in a board meeting with high management. I really needed to fart, but I knew it wouldnt be smelly as I had let a few off before I went in. I slowly ejected my little pocket of poison gas into the air, but as I was squeezing I proceded to squirt out some bottom water. As you can imagine this smelt a lot worse than my pocket of gas.. It's so difficult to leave a board meeting normally ,but this time I didnt have any problems. I made my excuses got up and walked out. Only a little later did I realise that it had soaked through my beige trousers. I quit my job shortly after that. www.myspace.com/durtymac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beerlight 0 #28 July 6, 2005 Great freakin thread I was about 8, and was thirsty. Proceeded to toss back some drink I thought was some type of cola. Nope, it was my granddads spit from his chewing tobacco! I puked there and then.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #29 July 6, 2005 QuoteGreat freakin thread I was about 8, and was thirsty. Proceeded to toss back some drink I thought was some type of cola. Nope, it was my granddads spit from his chewing tobacco! I puked there and then.... That was one of my worst fears in the army...all the guys on duty with me chewed...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelpdiver 2 #30 July 6, 2005 man, at least someone tells a real story. Folks, if the most disgusting thing that ever happened to you is you vomited once, YOU'RE LYING! Thankfully I was alone for my worst. At best guess, the nastiest 24hr flu I've ever dealt with. Simulataneous projectile vomiting out both ends. You can only pray to the porcelin goddess in one direction. Which resulted in of course, more vomiting in response. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinfarmer 0 #31 July 6, 2005 QuoteAt one point in my life I was a farmer in N. Wisconsin. It was a small dairy farm. Each morning I would get up at 4:00 am to milk the cows. In the winter, the cows were kept in the barn all night, sleeping on cement covered with straw. Most times they would poop while still laying down, getting it all over their butts and tails. One morning I was especially sleepy while milking one of our holsteins. Just as I decided to yawn, the cow decided to swat my face with her tail. Got a mouth full and decided farming wasn't for me. I still think the bitch did it on purpose! Man I hated that part about milking. I'm glad those days are over. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #32 July 6, 2005 Quoteafter the five hundredth time of me saying, "That's...just...f*cking...wrong! " I get that a lot... in The Bonfire... Okay, the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to me.... that's easy. I was in college, living in an apartment that I shared with 2 roommates. One was gone for the weekend. The other and I proceeded to get into a shot-drinking contest with the biggest bottle of Peach Schnapps. After draining that, we weren't finished. Just so happens there was a bottle of cheap rum in the cabinet that was about half full. We drained that too. We had to go pee real bad, and being so drunk, I stood at the toilet holding myself up by grabbing the towel rack, which I promptly ripped out of the wall when I dropped to my knees. When I stood up again, I let fly into the toilet, then I look over and saw my roommate letting it fly into the counter-top sink! Finally, in a mad dash upstairs to get to our respective beds (we were on the track team), banging into the walls and ripping one of the mounts out of the wall for the stair rail, I'd dove into my waterbed and promptly passed out. The next morning my roommate was desperately trying to wake me up, shaking me violently, I kept trying to shoo him away as I could not get my eyes open and just wanted to sleep. A while later he's at it again, finally I open my eyes and say "what the fuck do you want??" "you gotta go look in the mirror!! Come on!!" So I get up and stagger to the bathroom and peer into the mirror just inches from my face. A slow realization of horror started to come over me and sink in.... I saw a huge streak of dried vomit protruding from my mouth, across my face into my hair. There were corn kernels and whatnot in my fucking hair! The stench of stale vomit in my room was unbelievable. I can tell you this, I never drank Peach Schnapps and rum in shots again. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda965 0 #33 July 6, 2005 I may be weird, but I love this thread! I am one of those people that likes to laugh at the expense of others, including myself lots of the time! On a Friday morning after a night of drinking in college, the phone rings. It is none other than Alanab waking me up to go to out to breakfast. I look around very confused and try to sort things out as I mumble to her on the phone... Looking down in my bed, I see that I have puked in my sleep. I tell her this, we have a laugh and she tells me to come out to breakfast anyhow-- she'll be there to pick me up in a few minutes... I try to clean up and meet her outside. As we sit down at the restaraunt, she proceeds to tell me that I have barf stuck in my ear. The breakfast outing was filled with multiple trips to the BR and a not so fun room cleaning when I got back! Blue skies and SAFE landings! ~Amanda~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #34 July 6, 2005 YESTERDAY! I was doing some demos here & there, and was rushing around...hot and getting tired, I banged some gear into this 'bite' I have had on my leg for the last few days... It broke open and a bunch of little slug looking things come crawling out!!!!!!!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hipwrddude 0 #35 July 6, 2005 The more I think about this the worse it gets! In the Marines on Camp Schwab in Okinawa, my bunkie gets up before daybreak after partying out in the ville of Henoko. I say, "Hey, whaddaya doin?" And he responds, "Traversing fire," as he pisses back and forth in our cubicle. In Panama, a Staff Sgt challenges his platoon to show some tough balls. One daring Marine takes him on. At the urinal, they fill up their clear plastic cups, return to the bar, and the Staff Sgt says, "Bombs Away!" and drinks his urine in one nasty gulp (all of us were gagging!) His challenger takes one feeble nibble sip, and does an 'Exorcist vomit' all over the table. The Staff Sgt picks up some chunks, dumps them in his cup, adds beer, which foams over and says, "Tough balls!" This close friend of mine... real close, gets discharged from the service, hooks up with a tall hot chick who's on the swim team. At his apt. they go into the bathroom to shower together, and, after a minute being alone under the shower, she pokes her head out and says, "What are you doing?" He's on the can, fulfilling his duty to shit, shower and shave! Not to hijack this thread about me (that's why they say "Happy Birthday to ME, right?) In my early 20's I'm cruisin' on over to South St. in Philly to hook up with this MILF (14 yrs my senior.) Being naturally stupid, I had consumed several beers before the drive, took off w/o peeing and hit gridlock a few blocks short of the club. Here's the picture, the city is bustling with people walking to the right, the the left, thank god it they were one-way streets. My hand is high up on the wheel and I'm hunched over with a hand on the joystick filling up a 7-Eleven Super Colossal HyperGulp! This cup is so big, planet Earth would resemble a pea next to it. Anyway, it overflows on to my lap! So, what do I do? I put on my long jacket and go into the club, of course! You're always the starter in your own life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #36 July 6, 2005 QuoteYESTERDAY! I was doing some demos here & there, and was rushing around...hot and getting tired, I banged some gear into this 'bite' I have had on my leg for the last few days... It broke open and a bunch of little slug looking things come crawling out!!!!!!!! Yuck, some dude who was helping a friend of mine fix his car at my house had several 2 week old bites from a Brown Recluse, and they had gotten septic. Yeah, he already went to the ER before, to fight the venom. But he forgot the septic infection. Anyway, one of the bite sites was badly swollen. I was in the house when I hear him yelling to get my attention. I go out to see what he wanted, and he's got his shirt hiked up to his neck exposing the wounds near his armpit. One of them had an 18 inch long stream of yellowish pus oozing down his torso! I went and got some paper towels for him to wipe the disgusting crap up... ugh..."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda965 0 #37 July 6, 2005 QuoteYESTERDAY! I was doing some demos here & there, and was rushing around...hot and getting tired, I banged some gear into this 'bite' I have had on my leg for the last few days... It broke open and a bunch of little slug looking things come crawling out!!!!!!!! Ewww, what in the hell was it??? Last week a friend of mine got bit by a spider and had to got to urgent care and get it packed with antibiotic gauze- it messed him up so much. Evolution is creating some scary bugs that I guess I never want to come within inches of me! My gosh!Blue skies and SAFE landings! ~Amanda~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #38 July 6, 2005 Ewww, what in the hell was it??? *** Damn if I know...! They looked like tiny white bananas with feet. I was working out in the back of the house last week, several acres of trees and a stream etc. The medic thought they might be some kind of a fish parasite that bored a hole into me and then had a family. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #39 July 6, 2005 When babies are newborns, their shit is mostly liquified, as that's what their diet is. When they're about 2 weeks old, they get very gaseous, under pretty high pressure, which propels the liquid shit outta there at damn near terminal velocity. Being the dutiful dad, I usually gave our oldest her first diaper change of the morning. One morning I was changing her diaper when she let one go - a stream of high-velocty liquid shit flew out and went in a neat stream right up my shirt and onto my face. 16 years later, I'm teaching her to drive now, and it's me shitting my pants. Go figure. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #40 July 6, 2005 Hurrrrrl. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wingnut 0 #41 July 6, 2005 QuoteI'm teaching her to drive now, and it's me shitting my pants. Go figure. don't worry, in another 40 years it will be her having to change your diaper!!! as for disgusting, heard at the dz this past weekend about this fetish some people have, lets just say it has to do with used feminine products... now that's disgusting.... if you want details ask someone whoe was at dinner with the SDA crew saturday night, as it's to gross to repeate here... ______________________________________ "i have no reader's digest version" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #42 July 6, 2005 QuoteIt was small and kind of pebble-y. I'm thinking that I swallowed mouse droppings with my coffee. Ah ha.. the rodent version of grape nuts..... aka Mouse Nutz......BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TypicalFish 0 #43 July 6, 2005 QuoteThere was this one time I put these weird goggles on ... ewww. Me, too. Let's not talk about it. "I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #44 July 6, 2005 QuoteQuoteIt was small and kind of pebble-y. I'm thinking that I swallowed mouse droppings with my coffee. Ah ha.. the rodent version of grape nuts..... aka Mouse Nutz......BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA If they were his nuts, then there's one unhappy little hurtin' mouse running around here somewhere...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skysprite 0 #45 July 6, 2005 Some of this is funny, but some of it is truly unrepeatably disgusting. Breaking open a wound only to find shit crawling out... ew ew ew!! Creeeeeeeepy! ~skysprite Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #46 July 6, 2005 QuoteSome of this is funny, but some of it is truly unrepeatably disgusting. Breaking open a wound only to find shit crawling out... ew ew ew!! Creeeeeeeepy! *** No.....If I'd posted a PICTURE....now THAT would be disgusting! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #47 July 6, 2005 aw shit dude, please post that picture. I know you have it. That would top this thread off right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,116 #48 July 6, 2005 I saw someone snort an oyster once. Whole thing. It was incredibly disgusting. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #49 July 6, 2005 The worst thing I've had to do is........... Cut up a dead calf whilst still inside the cow. The vet went in through the side an I had to go in through the rear, Using a wire saw and working to a rythm we cut it into six pieces an took it out through the side of the cow. The cow survived but ended up barron. Also cleaning out an infected cut in a heifers foot ( between the hoves ) I had to cut the infection open an scrape out all the puss an shit before spaying with antibiotic, That smell made my stomach wretch. Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #50 July 6, 2005 QuoteI saw someone snort an oyster once. Whole thing. It was incredibly disgusting. Wendy W. That's worthy of a puke-fest if I've ever seen one! [Pirate] Puking is a bit like yawning. Once somebody in a room pukes, the rest follows suit..."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
