ntrprnr 0 #1 July 15, 2005 sigh... It had to happen sooner or later. I'm a 32 year old guy, living in New York City. Single, 2 cats. Discovered skydiving. 2 moe jumps left in my IAF course. Totally and completely in love with it. Deliberately didn't tell mom and dad - didn't need the insanity of mom and dad finding out their only child is jumping out of a plane. Well, they found out today. A reporter is doing a story on what CEO's do in their spare time. I'm a CEO. I told the reporter I was learning to skydive. Dumbass reporter left a message on my parent's machine asking how they felt about it. So not pleased. I was going to tell them eventually, just not this way. They freaked beyond all possible belief. So, I ask you - How do you let you parents know that it's not the end of the world? That you're probably safer jumping than you are crossing the street in NYC? That it's a wonderful, addictive, truly spectacular sport that I've found, and that nothing they say is going to stop me from doing it? Basically, how do you get them to stop worrying? Thanks, all. ntrprnr_______________ "Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?" "Even in freefall, I have commitment issues." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ntrprnr 0 #2 July 15, 2005 And by the way - Hi... First post. Glad to be here. Thanks for having me. :)_______________ "Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?" "Even in freefall, I have commitment issues." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob.dino 0 #3 July 15, 2005 QuoteBasically, how do you get them to stop worrying? Time. Mine weren't happy I started skydiving, but over time they've relaxed a bit. They'll probably never be completely happy about it, but they've grown to accept it's part of me. edit: btw, good to have you here. Welcome to the gang! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallinWoman 1 #4 July 15, 2005 My dad was impressed when I made my first jump. Then he was pissed when I made my second..third...heehee. I calmed my mom anyway by teaching her about reserve canopies, AADs, jumprun, landing patterns....I taught her everything I could about how we go about making this crazy sport as safe as we can. My dad never listened to any of that, unfortunately. ~Anne I'm a Doll!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BethMott 0 #5 July 15, 2005 Hey, NTRPRNR- Luckily, I have a family that "trusts my judgement" and they just deal with it. What are they going to do?? Be mad at their only son?? My Mother actually jumped too, but I just never talk about it with the Dad. Everyone else in the family just thinks it's really cool that I live on the edge..or whatever! Congratulations on loving it so much! Where do you jump in NY? I'm in Jersey and I'm jumping at Crosskeys. Like the other guy said, give it time. Just be really careful and they'll get used to it as they learn to understand how much you love it! Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #6 July 15, 2005 QuoteAnd by the way - Hi... First post. Glad to be here. Thanks for having me. :) Your what now?cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #7 July 15, 2005 how do you get them to stop worrying? *** Buy 'em a tandem jump! Educate them...show stats etc. and buy them a video of your AFF. Get a hook knife...they work on apron string too! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob.dino 0 #8 July 15, 2005 QuoteGet a hook knife...they work on apron string too! [Wink] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #9 July 15, 2005 >Get a hook knife...they work on apron string too! < Aww, come on I'm shure there's a perfectly good reason, after all NY can be a scary place, I went to Queens once an it scared the shit outa me Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blewaway5 0 #10 July 15, 2005 That's the same reaction I got, first time, that's wonderful, second time, why do you have to go again, you already did it once. Third, total freakout, saying how I was raised and kept alive for eighteen years and now I'm risking my life Well, I went the edumacation route, too. They accept it, hell, I'm their child. Now they even kinda brag about it to their friends Truman Sparks for President Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vamp 0 #11 July 15, 2005 QuoteBasically, how do you get them to stop worrying? You don't. Worrying is their job, no matter how grown up and successful in life you become. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dixieskydiver 0 #12 July 15, 2005 Mom my still doesn't like it, but I use it to get them to help me buy "safer" (read: nicer, more expensive gear) to make them feel better. My dad had gone bungee a few times before so I managed to get him out of a plane. And welcome to the forums. Dixie HISPA #56 Facil Rodriguez "Scientific research has shown that 60% of the time, it works every time." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #13 July 15, 2005 Time. I've been jumping 20 years. My parents were overjoyed when I stopped racing superbikes. They were horrified that I switched to skydiving. After 2 years in the sport, I smashed my femur hooking it. I thought at the time that they were very supportive, but it was recently revealed to me some 18 years later that they were OVERJOYED that I'd smashed myself because they thought I would stop. Over time, things improved. They were dubious when I said I was leaving my job to go to the US to pick up tandem and AFF ratings and to gain some big sequencial experience. My dad said - "They've been to the moon. They don't need an African to tell them how to jump out of aircraft!" I made a bet - that if I lasted a year in the US and got my ratings, that he'd do a tandem with me. Well, I did, and he did his tandem. He never did more, but in the 13 years since then, both of them come out to the DZ whenever they visit and sit back and watch the skies. I don't get the frantic sunday evening calls from my Mom, "You're ALIVE!" anymore, and being 40 something now, I've sat them down and had the chat that even if the worst happens, and I go in - this ride has been the most worthwhile of my life. The places, the times, the dives, but mainly the people. I'm so far ahead of the game that I feel guilt when I see those with less time and fewer jumps maim and kill themselves. Skydiving has been better to me than life itself. I struggle to see the benefit of one without the other. Stopping, or even slowing down is unthinkable. I'm a parent too now, and it's tough to realise the child in tears who just came off her bike will one day be doing things that scare me. She's already done two tandems though - and skydiving is not one of those things. Welcome to the party. Your parents love for you will be stronger than anything you can do. They'll come around eventually, as long as you stay as safe as you can, and be the child they have always loved. tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vibeke 0 #14 July 15, 2005 I thought I had this one figured out. My parents are "young parents", open minded and supportive rather than holding me back. So when I began skydiving I had their support from day one. But their worries increased, as they followed the sport for a few years. They saw accidents and became frightened. It is a side of skydiving they wish to ignore, but with a child skydiving, its impossible to pay no mind to the dangers involved. My father who had been on one static-line jump and one AFF jump, stopped skydiving as he was afraid to leave behind the family. My mother still want to try an AFF, but both of them have promised each other not to do it regulairly. Actually Im glad. I had to repack my dads canopy myself, checked his gear twice, and only let him go with specific instructors. I was concerned and felt relieved when I saw him land safely. So its a worry that goes both ways.... They come to all our competitions, but when I am away on trainingcamp, they call every single day checking up on me and dont rest until Im home. And they worry a great deal about my plans to work within skydiving and spend 3-5 years outside of Denmark, before "setteling down". For them insight in the sport only made them worry more. They feel good about the reserves, AADs and like, but generally the closer they came to the sport, the more they worried. We debate it often. How safe you are, when taking safety precautions, how much you as an individual can do to prevent accidents, and if it is all worth the risks._________________________________________________________ Your success and happiness, is in direct proportions to your commitment to excellence, regardless of your chosen field of endeavour. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkR 0 #15 July 15, 2005 I told my parents right from the beginning that I was skydiving. My mother isn't exactly overjoyed, but she has accepted it. My wife's parent's are a different story though. She has been skydiving for 7 years without them knowing it. Eventually, we had to tell them for we were having a few of our pals swooping in on our wedding. So... when they found out, they were completely over the edge. But at the wedding, we paired them off with a friend of ours, skydiver too and pretty much about their age (60+). They've been having a very nice talk, since then her parent's are still not thrilled, but it's ok.»Somewhere between the lies and truths borderlines get shady. Somewhere between the yesses and nos you can find the maybe.« Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyn 0 #16 July 15, 2005 become a pilot, get a motorbike and take up horse riding... all are far more dangerous and it will stop them worrying about the skydiving!!! Skyn Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
udder 0 #17 July 15, 2005 I never told my parents a thing. Mom found a reciept on the floor and then it began. I think she's gonna take out life insurance and hope I go in in time for retirement. Mom always worries, but I never tell her when I go down to the DZ. I'll never forget when Tonto told me off for calling my mom a b@#ch. I was 16 and mom wouldnt let me do AFF 2. Well now im 18 and theres nothing she can do about it. I just try and keep it as quite as possible. Mom wont listen to a thing regarding what happens or safety aspects, seh also wont even consider coming down to the DZ. Dad has and he was quite impressed. Nothing you can really do besides tell them the facts. They will always worry - or take out life insurance."In one way or the other, I'm a bad brother. Word to the motherf**ker." Eazy-E Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beverly 1 #18 July 15, 2005 Hey, it is not that bad. I manage to get my mom to the DZ once a year and she sees that I can land better than most people. She also worried lots in the beginning, and I also stopped getting the monday morning calls. On a Friday, if she called, I knew not to tell her I was jumping. I also reminded her that I had more injuries doing Gymnastics as a child, than I have had doing Skydiving as an adult. She was bullied into doing a tandem last month, and she hated it, but is secretly proud of herself, and does take some credit. I suppose it all boils down to education. Never say it is a safe sport. You can die, so they need to know the dangers, but they can also know the stats and realise that it is less dangerous than other activities (Drinking and driving) She was also really proud when I got my national colours and they all support lots when we are doing fundraising for teams etc. She even came to say goodbye at the airport when we left for the World meet last year. Pretty awesome. Just tell them how much you love it, and they should be happy that you are happy. Skydiving is not for everyone, so you may just seal your fate if you get them to jump as well..... I think true friendship is under-rated Twitter: @Dreamskygirlsa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #19 July 15, 2005 hmmmm.... my mom happened to call me shortly after I landed from AFF level 1. I said, "Guess what I just did!!!" and then proceeded to tell her that I had just jumped out of an airplane and frankly telling them that I do this is the easy part. Trying to make my parents understand that although I minimize the risks as much as possible there is always a chance that I could get hurt or die is much more difficult. And, yes, I have tried to explain it to them... You're an adult (and it sounds like your a relatively successful one too.) I wouldn't fret... the rents *should* accept it once they get over the shock. QuoteBasically, how do you get them to stop worrying? Oh, and *you* don't can't get them to stop worrying... they have to do that on they're own... that and they're gonna worry cause you'll always be their baby...Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leroydb 0 #20 July 15, 2005 QuoteThey freaked beyond all possible belief....Basically, how do you get them to stop worrying? Your 32... nuf said... like the others said, time. first my mom was upset that I joined the army, the I went to airborne school, then skydiving, then BASE. She used to think the latest thing was the craziest... She worries a tad, but she just came to watch me jump at TF idaho bridge... She worries not so much now...Leroy ..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #21 July 15, 2005 Tell them that you almost died today on the way to work and you had a vision that you must skydive to live.Tell them we lose 30 people a year out of a few million jumps.Tell them you're going to the dz to be happy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #22 July 15, 2005 It's all about information. My parents weren't okay with it until my dad made the effort to learn about the sport. He read up on gear (he loved the idea of a Cypres), statistics, acccident reports, etc. etc. etc. and realized that it's not quite as bad as its reputation of "What if your chute doesn't open?". Now, every time I come home my parents ask me how my jumps went. Also, with all due respect my friend.....you're 32, the CEO of some company, and your parents don't trust your judgement? Once you read into it and acquire information about the sport, you learn that it's safer than a LOT of other "ground based" sports. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mailin 0 #23 July 15, 2005 Don't lie to them - skydiving is not safe. How many times a day do you cross a NYC street? How many times a day do you jump from a plane? Think of it in those terms and you'll see that skydiving is not safe, don't fool yourself - and don't lie to them. I'm lucky - my parents think I'm cool JenArianna Frances Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RfukfreeflyingW 0 #24 July 15, 2005 Quote I'm lucky - my parents think I'm cool Jen aww and mine say I'm a great catch... whats ur point? ---- -God, you are the perfect amount of dumb... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mailin 0 #25 July 15, 2005 my point? My parents love me more than my brother JenArianna Frances Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
