Friday funny

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Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their
local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do
you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome to play with us."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the
newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.

"Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend. Can I take a
look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of
his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I
can see right in the window."

"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked, too! The bitch!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the

"Then the neighbor. He's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to
teach him a lesson."

The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand

Fallschirmsport Marl

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The farmer and his wife had worked hard, scrimped and saved
to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he
started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and
sideburns. Being pleased with his new hirsute adornment, he
had his picture taken and sent it off to his parents.

On the back of the photo he scrawled: "How do you like it?
Don't I look like a count?"

Shortly after, the son received this terse note: "You idiot,
it cost us a fortune to send you to college, and you can't
even spell!"
if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

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My mother was walking through the mall when a man with a
clipboard stopped her. "I'm taking a survey," he said. "Do
you think there is too much sex in movies?"

"I'm not sure," replied my mother. "I'm usually too wrapped
up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is
if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

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