Vasectomy Horror Stories

[NSEMN8R 0]

My wife wants to have a vasectomy done on me.

There's another thread going on right now about jumping after having it done, and a few people have mentioned some really fucked up stuff happening.

This post in particular really got to me:

Quote

I took a whole vial (8 injections) of novocaine or whatever they squirt in your ballbag. I had excruciating pain through the whole procedure - felt every cut, yank and burn. Then waddled home. Balls as black as oil and as big as oranges. Felt like I'd been kicked in the bollocks by a horse for 7 days....

I'm not really worried about recovery time. I'll lay in bed for a month if I have to (the weather is crap here anyways). But what are the odds of something terrible like this happening to me during the operation? Or afterwards even if I take it easy?

If you've had it done, how bad did it suck?

Thanks...

[Scoop 0]

So you wont be NSEMN8ing nothing! How will you live up to your reputation with a blow like that?

Back on topic - I have no help for you at all

[IanHarrop 37]

If you get it done on a Friday you can expect the wife or SO to be more than willing to fetch your favorite beverage for the whole weekend After that you're on your own getting your own drinks.

That sums up my experience - not a big deal really and you have to figure that this is so for most people.
If it was always a big deal, no one would get it done.

"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy

[hemphog 0]

dude... they go in there with a KNIFE!!! You're actually going to let them do that?

Just go be a test subject for the male birth control pill

I watched a video of the surgery in high school, and 1 of the guys in the class actually passed out. I'm usually not very squimish, but it tripped me out.

Sooo ya. Good luck with that

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"Ya we'll rape the local objects, and maybe do some jumps too!"

[NSEMN8R 0]

It probably won't work on me anyways. Those tubes will just automatically fuse themselves back together.

Actually, I'm a little worried that when they cut them open that shit will go airborne. This whole city will be knocked up.

[freeflir29 0]

I have seen guys that are having sex the same night they had the operation. Others that were in pain for weeks! I'll be honest............I'm not confident enough to have it done myself.

[NSEMN8R 0]

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Just go be a test subject for the male birth control pill

Now that's a great idea! Where do I sign up?

[Tink1717 2]

The worst part of mine was the razor stubble. The itching was unbelievable.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[plowdirt 0]

Whats up brother ,I'm sitting here laughing my ass off, and my daughter is to. I will say this don't do it!!!

This world needs more people like you, and I'll be happier knowing my daughter will run into your kids one day, Well. maybe not

Have a good Turkey Day Tone, send my love to the family.

Ed

[DTOXX 0]

Had it done after our second child was born. Not a lot of pain with the general anesthesia. I remember sitting around with a bag of frozen peas in my lap.

The oddest part was when the doc said "You may feel a slight tug." and what ever he pulled made my neck retract into my chest.

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D.T. Holder
SIMstudy

[monkycndo 0]

According to my doc, my experience was about the average. Snipped on Friday morning and had 2 1/2 days to recover before going back to work. One side was a piece of cake and the other was a little uncomfortable during the snipping. No pain, just could tell the difference. I love the smell of BBQ, but smelling yourself getting cauterized can be a little unsettling. I followed the doc's directions about the frozen peas to control swelling. If you didn't like peas as a child, they will be your best friend now. Took the meds as directed and they did a pretty good job controlling pain/swelling. Only one side swelled up at all. Yep, same side that was odd during operation. The only real discomfort (not pain) I felt was the pulling of the stitches due to swelling and the ends of the stitches poked/irritated the skin. It is so much easier for us guys to get snipped than our ladies. Make sure you get your two post procedure checks to confirm you have no swimmers left. Had a buddy who couldn't wait before resuming without a raincoat and ended up with another lovely child.

I am VERY glad I had it done.

50 donations so far. Give it a try.

You know you want to spank it
Jump an Infinity

[waltappel 1]

Years ago I went to my urologist and tried to get a vasectomy. He had me sit through an "informed consent" movie and then refused to do it because I was too young and had never had kids.

Let me tell you, anyone who can sit through the flick and still say "Let's do it!" should not be denied. They are truly determined.

The flick centered around a (supposed) construction worker. I think his name was Joe. Anyway, Joe the construction worker is talking with a couple of his buddy's at work about family planning (Oh yeah, that's a truly realistic scenario!) and talks about the idea of having a vasectomy.

"What's the deal? Ya' tired of being a man? Har! Har! Har!"

After much soul searching, Joe the sensitive construction worker desides to get a vasectomy. Then the flick took a really evil turn.

They showed him in the shower shaving his balls. I don't know about most guys, but my balls are off limits. We are talking sensitive area. I don't even touch them! Shave them with a razor?!!!! I can watch the bloodiest of horror movies and laugh all the way through them, but I was really starting to cringe watching the informed consent flick!

Then came the animation of the cutting. I have a really active imagination anyway, so my mind translated the animation into images that would have made the Nazi "medical experiments" look like child's play. At this point, I'm sitting there protecting my crotch with both hands rocking back and forth like an autistic kid with my face so scrunched up that I must have looked like I was being anally probed!

After what seemed like hours and hours (actually, it was only a few minutes) of that horror, they get to the post-operative part. Joe is walking to the car (with a gate that makes it look like he just got gang-raped).

After he gets home, he is laying there with what looks like 5 tons of ice on his balls. By this time, I'm sliding into unconsciousness from the extreme mental anguish of watching the flick.

"Still want to do it?", my doctor asks.

"Hell yeah!!! I'm not busy this afternoon."

"Walt, you're only 19. You've never had kids and may change your mind at a later time. A vasectomy is a lot easier to do than to undo. I get some guys who come in here who are around your age but truly should never reproduce because they are pretty messed up in the head. Sometimes I will agree to do someone like that, but you are just not in that category."

Obviously he didn't know me very well. I tried to convince him that I too, was quite the psychopath. No such luck, though.

I went to the same doctor about 7 years later and got the same result.

That was a long time ago, but if they still show the hellish informed consent flick, I'd have to speculate that the surgery could not possibly be worse than watching that.

Walt

[tbrown 26]

I had mine done 13 years ago, after two children that were both very difficult births for my wife. It's not exactly like having your balls tickled with a feather, but it isn't anything a brave tough skydiver can't take either.

There are horror stories about everything. A meteor could crash through the roof of the doctor's office and kill you both. Again, you skydive don't you ? You ever read the Incidents forum ? If that doesn't scare you off skydiving, then stop worrying about a little clip job on your 'nads.

Quite honestly, it is just a little tough to get through the procedure - my favorite part is when they stick a big needle in your scrotum, it's about as much fun as it sounds - and then they do it again to the other side. But you won't be traumatized, it will heal up quickly, and BELIEVE ME, you'll feel like you have a new toy. Because you will. And you can change your name to Blankenchuter or something equally cool.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[KindredSpirit 0]

I'm going to get this done very soon. I'll let you know how it goes.

"Kicking gravity's ass since 2003!"

[adamUK 3]

>Blankenchuter

Bwahhaaahaahahahaa.. Jeez. I never laughed so hard before.

[efs4ever 3]

I jumped on the fourth day after mine.

1984. Worked fine.

Russell M. Webb D 7014
Attorney at Law
713 385 5676
https://www.tdcparole.com

[JohnRich 4]

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If you've had it done, how bad did it suck?

No big deal!

The worst part is the novacain, like the needle prick in your gums that the dentist does. A small cut is made on each side, only about a quarter-inch long. Doc fishes out the tube through the cut, snips it in half, folds the ends over and ties them down so they won't grow back together, then tucks them back inside and closes the cut with a couple of stitches.

I was black and blue for a few days, but that was it. I even rode my bicycle home from the doctor's office.

Then you go back about a week later with a sample to have it tested to ensure that all the sperm is out of your system.

At this point, the best part of all begins: wild sex with women unencumberbed by the mental burden of worrying about pregnancy. Can you handle it?

[Squeak 17]

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It probably won't work on me anyways. Those tubes will just automatically fuse themselves back together.

If you have a good surgeon that can't happen, my Doc, cut about 15mm out of each Vas and then cautorised each end (theres a smell you'll never forget, burning Vas) once they were sealed he looped them back into a fold in ther scrotum, the tubes are NEVER joining up again
Don't sweat the Op, the worst part is actually injecting the scrotum with anesthetic, ask them to rub some anisthetic gel on the scrotum before injecting, alternaively you get get put under completly, but you increase you risks and costs ($$$) if you go full anesthetic

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[matthewcline 0]

I have told any one who asked to buy condoms.

I had mine done a while back and if it wasn't a permanent thing I would never do it again.

For 2 weeks I had 2 purple grape fruit and an egg plant in my shorts! It was pain full just to walk!

The Doctor ( I think his name was Frankenstien) said that men have no less than 2 nocturnal erection in thier sleep. During that 2 week period I could tell you to the second that happened to me, I would wake up in such pain.

Now that it is all over though the up side is not having to worry about a pregnancy and I can plan all my earnings for my Daughters colledge and car and clothes and food and and and...

An Instructors first concern is student safety.
So, start being safe, first!!!