why did princess di cross the road?

[unformed 0]

because she didn't wear her seat belt.


okay, your turn, give me your really bad jokes ...

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[bigern13 0]

The best WORST joke I have heard and can remember is

What is better than coming in first place at the special olympics?


Not being retarded.

I know, going to hell.

"I love 'lamp'."
-SKYMAMA

[unformed 0]

haha, but got a question ... is retared like being retarded?

This ad space for sale.

[Mostly_Harmless 0]

What did the blind, deaf, paraplegic kid get for xmas?


Cancer.

_________________________________________
www.myspace.com/termvelocity

[bigern13 0]

Quote

haha, but got a question ... is retared like being retarded?

Now thats funny. You undersaid what I stood though. I must be "retared" I never cood spell gould.

"I love 'lamp'."
-SKYMAMA

[crwpj 0]

what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs...
(fill in the situation)
bob
matt
doug
jimmy
phil
russel
cliff
art
pop art
kurt
sue
skip
bill
tad
kurt and rod
rich
warren
humphrey

pulling is cool. keep it in the skin.
options: it does a body good.

[funks 1]

Q - What is the useless piece of skin around a vagina called?

A - A Woman

Q - What would The Flintstones have been called if they were black?

A - Niggers

My 3rd cousin on my brother in laws side of the family is black, therefore I am allowed to tell this joke.

[McDuck 0]

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too with a name like anhhhnghrhnhgh.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

How did they punish Helen Keller?


They rearranged the furniture!!!!!!!!!!!!!Bwaaaaaaaah!


Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[McDuck 0]

Quote

How did they punish Helen Keller?


They rearranged the furniture!!!!!!!!!!!!!Bwaaaaaaaah!


Bobbi

Also: put doorknobs on all the walls; left the plunger in the toilet.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and
she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven... which part of
your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"

Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in
front of you and God just takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your
legs."

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.

"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the
other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh God,I'm coming!"

If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

The nun fainted.

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[micro 0]

good'un.

I miss Lee.
And JP.
And Chris. And...

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, nor any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her MD recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well-known sex therapist. So she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose." So she did. "Now, get down and crawl reery fass to the other side of room." So, she did. Dr. Chang then said, "OK now crawl reery fass to me." So she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, that why you not haf sex or dates."

Confused, the woman asked, "What is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang replied, "It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."


Sorry...I'll stop now.
Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[BlindBrick 0]

Why? the monkey fall out of the tree?







Cause it was dead!


-Blind

"If you end up in an alligator's jaws, naked, you probably did something to deserve it."

[Andy9o8 0]

What did Princess Grace have that Natalie Wood could have used?

A good stroke.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

If Mamma Cass would have shared her sandwich with Karen Carpenter, they would both be alive today.


Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[funks 1]

Q - What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A - Nothing, she has already been told twice.

[squink 0]

How do you save a paki from drowning?


Take your foot off his head.





What do you throw a drowning paki?


His wife and kids.

...the door was open

SKYDIVERGIRLS.COM

[BlindBrick 0]

What do you call 4 Cubans in a raft?


A; Quatro sinko

-Blind

"If you end up in an alligator's jaws, naked, you probably did something to deserve it."

[freefal 0]

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?
Half of a cat.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it, and one to suck my d!ck.

"Ignorance is bliss" and "Patience is a virtue"... So if you're stupid and don't mind waiting around for a while, I guess you can have a pretty good life!

[freefal 0]

My 89 year old grandad told me this one yesterday...

Two old men were sitting on a park bench when one asks the other, "You ever been drunk enough to kiss a girl on the navel?"

The second guy answers, "I've been drunker than that!"

"Ignorance is bliss" and "Patience is a virtue"... So if you're stupid and don't mind waiting around for a while, I guess you can have a pretty good life!

[squink 0]

A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor.
The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them."
The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his crackers in your neck."

...the door was open

SKYDIVERGIRLS.COM

[mccurley 0]

Little Johnny walks into the house and asks his Mom "Where do Babies really come from?"

His Mom bends over and very gentle responds to him " We've had this discussion before Johnny. The stork brings us the little babies."

Johnny looks her in the eye ans says "Yea I know that part.

But who shags the stork?"

Watch my video Fat Women
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRWkEky8GoI

[crwpj 0]

what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs...
(fill in the situation)
in a lake? bob
on your doorstep? matt
in a hole? phil
under a pile of leaves? russel
on the side of a mountain? cliff
on your wall? art
his dad ? pop art
if he's rude to you? kurt
if he's a lawyer? sue
towed by a skiboat? skip
in your mailbox? bill
two of them, over your window? kurt and rod
in prison? humphrey

pulling is cool. keep it in the skin.
options: it does a body good.

[mattyblast 0]

While his wife was out grocery shopping, a man secretly came home early from work and bought a new chandelier for the bedroom. When she came home, he said, "Surprise! You know that beautiful chandelier we've both been dreaming about hanging in the bedroom right above our bed? I went out, bought it, and installed it while you were away!"

His wife replied, "Oh, great. I suppose this means I'll be spending the whole night on my back with my legs in the air...hpmh!"

The man said, "Oh honey! What I do, I do out of unconditional love for you. If you don't want to make love to me tonight, I understand!"

She replied, "Who's talking about making love?? With your carpentry skills, that's how I'll need to sleep to keep from getting crushed by the dang thing!"

HEEHHEHAHAHEHAHHEHHAEHAEHHEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

"DOOR!!!"