Bill Hicks

[jjiimmyyt 0]

Here in the UK Bill Hicks is regarded as something as a comic genius andurban legend has ithe was not so appreciated inhis owncountry. Is this true?

If you dont know who Bill Hicks is, think of Denis Leary,with Bills's routines but funny.

thanks to AC for inspiration forthis thread.

Edit: Myspace barisfailing

"This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die." -Dave

[daniel_owen_uk 0]

Absolute genius, funnies comedian ever etc etc.

__________________

BOOM Headshot

[virginflyer3 0]

Genius! The comedy of hate! And he is the GOD!

People keep repeating we are FREE!






***
Jus thinkin' of John, Jack, Jus thinkin' of John.

[dropoutdave 0]

Comedy genius, absolute timeless comedy.

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May Contain Nut traces......

[AlexCrowley 0]

I never understood the whole hate thing. I've probably heard 95% of his shows that were recorded and compared to the other comedians who were part of the whole 'comedy of hate' BS he was in a completely different galaxy.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[virginflyer3 0]

The man was so ironically full of Love! I mean he wanted his dying granny to meet Chuck Norris!

I wonder what he would have come up with about today's world if he was still here?


They say that pot makes you unmotivated. WRONG! You can still do everything you could whilst not on pot, you just realise it 'ant worth the fucking effort.

[AlexCrowley 0]

Not a great deal of difference.

(Hillbilly 1 voice) What's G-12 do, Tommy?
(Hillbilly 2 voice) See, it says here it destroys everything but the fillings in their teeth,
helps us pay for the war effort.
(Hillbilly 1 voice) Well, fuck, pull that one up!
(Hillbilly 2 voice over walky-talky) Pull up G-12, please.
(Bill does some cool sound effects with the mic) SHooooooooooooP. BOOM!
(Hillbilly 1 voice) Cool! what's G-13 do?

And if you really think hate had anything to do with his material then you missed the point.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[AlexCrowley 0]

People said, "Uh-uh, Bill, Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world."
Yeah, maybe, but you know what? After the first three largest armies,
there's a real big fucking drop-off, all right?
The Hare Krishnas are the fifth largest army in the world,
and they've already got our airports, okay?
Soo, I think that's the greater threat right now.
Mr. Onion Head in Terminal C is scaring the shit out of me. Get him away from me.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[AlexCrowley 0]

pornography has gotten a really bad name in our country.
And I'd like to state, for the record, right now - I love pornography. Love
it. I have tapes that are pure fucking art, I'm telling ya. People fucking,
sucking, every imaginable position, the finest looking women, fucking,
sucking - I love it. For the record
Mistuh Hicks, thank you for your testimony. I don't know if we have a place
for you right now on the Supreme Court-but, boy, you ever thought about
becoming a Senator? C'mere, boy. Bring some of them tapes over here, lookit
that-whooah. Bring them over Teddy's house, yeah, look at that there-oooh.
She go to that like a duck to water, look at that there. How, how, how.
That is one of my big fears in life, that I'm gonna die, you know, and my
parents are gonna come to clean out my apartment, find that porno wing I've
been adding onto for years. There'll be two funerals that day.
I can see my mom going through my stuff.
Look, honey, here's Bill when he was a Cub scout. Look at how cute my baby
is. His little short pants, his little hat. Look how cute my baby was. I
wonder what's in this box over here. 'Rear Entry', Volumes One through
Forty?!

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[AlexCrowley 0]

I find ironic, too, is that people who are against these things
that cause sexual thought are generally fundamentalist Christians, who also
believe you should be fruitful and multiply. Boy, they walk a tight rope
every day, don't they? "How do we be fruitful and multiply and not think
about it?" "We could sing hymns during it." (sings) "One stroke at a time,
sweet Jesus. One stroke at a time, sweet Lord."
I did that joke in Alabama, in Fife, and these three rednecks met me after
the show. "Hey, buddy! C'mere! Mr. Funny-man, c'mere! Hey, buddy, we're
Christians, and we don't like what you said." "So then forgive me." Later,
when I was hanging from the tree.
Here is my final point, oh thank you God. About drugs, about alcohol, about
pornography, whatever that is. What business is it of yours what I do, read,
buy, see, or take into my body as long as I do not harm another human being
on this planet? And for those of you out there who're having a little moral
dilemma in your head about how to answer that question, I'll answer it for
you - none of your fucking business. Take that to the bank, cash it, and go
fucking on a vacation out of my life.

But where did this veneration of childbirth come from, I missed that
meeting, I tell you that. "Oh, childbirth is such a miracle, it's such a
miracle."
Wrong.
No more of a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. You
know what a miracle is? A miracle is raising a kid who doesn't talk in a
fucking movie theatre, there's your goddamned miracle.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[AlexCrowley 0]

People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe...he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.

Yeah,

No real difference at all.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[AlexCrowley 0]

Last one, I promise:

"The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think that it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly coloured, and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question - is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us. They say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.' And we...kill those people. Ha ha ha. 'Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride. SHUT HIM UP! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and family. This just has to be real.' It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter because: it's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings, and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourselves off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here's what you can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defence each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, for ever, in peace."
Bill Hicks

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[virginflyer3 0]

Do you think he does childrens parties?

The best damn lesson in the world!


__________________________________________________

Bill on creation: I've got one word for you....dinosaur!

FC Hillbilly: Huh, well I think that god put them here to test our faith.

Bill: Thank god I'm strapped in here right now, cause you sure are testing my faith dude.

[AlexCrowley 0]

"I am available for children's parties, by the way. Some of y'all might have a young'un coming of age, and not want to go the traditional, clown/balloon animal route this year, you might want to look me up-"Beezlebozo." Clown from hell. "Hi, kids, it's Beezlebozo time!

Tell me something, who here out of you young'uns has never smoked a cigarette? C'mere, kids!" (kissing noises) "What's your name?" (little boy voice) "Tommy." "Tommy, how old are you?" "Five." "Five years old, and you mean to tell Beezlebozo you're not smoking cigarettes yet? C'mere, Tommy!" (kissing noises, hacking) "Hold it in." "Mommy!" "Nope, it's Beezlebozo time. "Tell me something, who here out of you young'uns has never watched a skin flick? C'mere, kids! See them, them's titties!" "Mommy!" "That is your mommy. It's Beezlebozo time." Clown from hell."

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[virginflyer3 0]

Anyone who trips on Acid in the woods and grows up in porno theatres is probably going to have the answer to the universe.

Thank dear Bill that he shared it with us.



I could get up at dawn, go to a job that does not motivate or inspire me artistically whatsoever........or I could get up at noon and learn to play the Sitar.

[tso-d_chris 0]

"By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. No, this is not a joke: kill yourself . . . I know what the marketing people are thinking now too: 'Oh. He's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market.' Oh man, I am not doing that, you fucking evil scumbags."

"Yeah, you really got my act down good, guys. That'll be great. You know, when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink orange drink." (After being asked to do an advertisement for orange drink)

[sfullerman 0]

Ron Shock telling this story about Bill....
"Pat Robertson said that God, thats G-a-w-d , Gawd,
had appeared unto him and told him to run for president.
My best friend Bill Hicks said that, God had also
appeared unto him, and told him specifically not to vote for that fuck"

"If you're sitting at a four way stop intersection, wondering whos turn it is....aint yers"