Would you forgo having children if you had the possibility of a disorder being passed to them?

[mailin 0]

I most definitely didn’t have an ideal childhood, it sucked actually. My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic and having a very rough time of it right now and the only person that she is letting ‘help’ her is me (I use ‘help’ loosely as I’m not doing anything, I can’t. She’s so fried right now). This includes her coming to live with my husband and I (which he is a saint for doing). This is very hard on me right now as I have a 5 month old at home and am closing on my new home on Tuesday. In doing some research to try and help her, I came across some information that got me thinking. (http://www.schizophrenia.com/newsletter/1197/1197sibling.htm)

Schizophrenia has a biological tie to it.
"Mental illnesses are biologically based brain disorders that profoundly disrupt a person's ability to think, feel, relate to others and their environment, " is offered by NAMI, which is based in Arlington, Va., and has chapters across the country.
That definition fixes the cause as a genetic or chemical disorder, blame that can be tossed into a biological box. But, as Secunda writes, it's likely to be more complicated:
"The professional consensus is that these disorders are biologically based vulnerabilities that can be triggered or induced in a variety of ways by such environmental stressors such as financial or marital troubles. "
Secunda said she believes the lingering stigma of mental illness explains why only 20 percent to 40 percent of Americans with psychiatric disorders get treatment.
As traumatized bystanders to severe mental illness, children and siblings face lifelong issues, including the realistic worry that a caretaker role looms in their future.
Secunda found that the legacy of disrupted childhoods colored all aspects of her subjects' lives. More than half worked in the arts, where they could figuratively cry out for attention, or in the helping professions, where they could search for answers and assuage their guilt at being well.
Despite their mistrust of a mental health system that seemingly failed them, three-quarters eventually sought therapy. And -- finding cold comfort in statistics that strongly favor their chance of having normal children -- more than half decided to forgo parenthood.
One woman whose father was schizophrenic decided not to tempt fate after she married a man whose parents were both alcoholic and diabetic.
"The sick joke in our house, " she said, "is that if we had kids, they'd all become alcoholic, insulin-dependent schizophrenics. So we raise horses instead. "

My mothers father, his family and my mothers brothers all have mental illness in one shape or form; yet the thought of me passing it on to my children never crossed my mind. I have been very lucky in that I do not show any signs of the mental illness’ that plague her family – my brother, unfortunately does, he has ADD and at 26 can not organize his life enough to live by himself (not to mention the fact that he’s an alcoholic).

I’m feeling quite helpless lately and really on the verge of tears. Its hard for people to understand and I guess I just need to get this out to keep from imploding…

If you knew you could pass something similar to this (or any disease) onto your children, would you forgo having them?

Arianna Frances

[ladyskydiver 0]

No, I wouldn't forgo it.

Maybe do some genetic counseling/testing to see if I carry the defective allelle. Then is it a recessive or dominant disorder? Add into that equation if my SO carried the same allelle and then determine the likelihood of it being passed on to my child. At that point, I'd have a reasonable picture and be able to form a better decision.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[L.O. 0]

I have two kids. I had no fear in my life before they came along. There is no history of genetic defects, of any sort, on either side of the family. But I was so afraid. The risk is always there, no matter what you do.

If you know that cancer, heart disease or other disorders are likely, you had better do something.

To bring a life into this world without doing everything in your power to make sure the child is healthy is irresponsible and you don't deserve to be a parent.

The medical technology of the late 20th and now 21 centuries has eliminated Natural selection to one degree or another (in this country anyway). 50 years ago if you had cancer you died if you had diabetes you died if you had any number of genetic defects or diseases that are no big deal today you died. Now you live, procreate and pass the defect on to you kid and there kids and so on.

the modern American doesn't take into account the mass of defects found in there ancestry. It is nice to see people thinking a little about the future of there child and the effect of there parental genetics on them.

It all comes down to the risk involved. if it's a sure thing or even a very good chance, then it would seem to be foolish to have kids (adopting is always an option).

This all comes from someone with almost no risk factor. so take it with a grain of salt. If I was in a different situation I might be singing a different tune.

Kids are awesome.

Good luck.

HPDBs, I hate those guys.
AFB, charter member.

[moodyskydiver 0]

This question is very close to me as I have Type II Bipolar Disorder which also has genetic ties and has a tendancy to run in familes.Through my research thus far I am the only member of my family formally diagnosed as Bipolar, but that doesnt mean anything.

Although neither I nor my husband want children, I would have very strong reservations about bringing a child into the world knowing that there is a strong possibility that I would be passing along to them this disease which has caused me much grief. Especially with statistics showing that more than 70% of Bipolar patients die by suicide. (These statistics are pulled from Dr.Kay Redfield Jamison's book Night Falls Fast: understanding suicide. She is also Bipolar). It is a life of constant medication, lab work, therapy and emotional upheaval.Not to mention the stress that you put your loved ones through.Would I want to knowingly introduce a human into that world? My answer is no.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[DancesWClouds 0]

I do not have children, nor are they in my future.

My immediate family has a 50% rate of chronic depression. While it's treatable for the most part, it certainly can rear its ugly head from time to time, to the brink of suicide. I cannot say if all of us have escaped that end; my sister disappeared more than ten years ago and had suffered for her whole life from depression (and likely other mental illness).

If I wanted to have children, I probably would if my S.O.'s gene pool was pretty stable. It oftentimes comes down to the question of Nurture / Nature. I guess I see the argument for a little of both.

Dances
Muff Brother #2169

"You can take the girl out of the sky, but not the sky out of the girl!"

[CSpenceFLY 1]

I have not had any kids because I was scared to death one would turn out like me.


.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Yes. I had a tubal ligation after our twins were diagnosed Autistic. I couldn't imagine bringing another child into this world that might suffer like they do.

As for bi-polar/manic-depressant/psychotic challenges, we face those on his side of the family, too. I had no idea until we had been married for 3 years already, and I had an 8 month old baby, and twins already on the way. He never talked about it.

I watch my daughter very closely, and thank God (knock on wood) my daughter has shown no signs at all of having the same disorder.

All this was prior to seeing how bad it is with the mom in law, and sister in law, and now her daughters...if we had a descision to have kids right now, I might opt out solely for that reason...however, I do also believe that environment plays STRONGLY into how a person will develop with a disorder of any kind. And if you yourself aren't showing syptoms or signs, that's great news.

Joe and I wanted 5 kids; however, we made adjustments and are extremely busy with our 3. If our boys recover, and we can successfully navigate them OFF of the Autism spectrum, and we're still young enough, we might adopt a baby girl from China or Vietnam or Korea. I understand that their orphanages are full with girls, and bad things tend to happen to little girls in those countries that have no families.

Just remember with Ari, you have 2 great factors going for you: you do not show symptoms at all, and you will provide her a good environment with role models growing up through you and dad. That's better than many kids could ever hope for.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[jeiber 0]

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I have not had any kids because I was scared to death one would turn out like me.

I would take a bipolar, manic depressive, autistic child with ADHD before I'd take a child with Chris Spence Syndrome!

Shhh... you hear that sound? That's the sound of nobody caring!

[moodyskydiver 0]

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As for bi-polar/manic-depressant/psychotic challenges, we face those on his side of the family, too. I had no idea until we had been married for 3 years already, and I had an 8 month old baby, and twins already on the way. He never talked about it.

I watch my daughter very closely, and thank God (knock on wood) my daughter has shown no signs at all of having the same disorder.

Just because there are no signs now doesnt mean you are out of the woods I'm afraid. Studies show that Bipolar Disorder usually does not manifest itself until late teens/early twenties.So keep that in mind.

I personally can look back at my high school years and see the signs were there.I tried to get help at 18 but it was misdiagnosed as depression.Finally I went into a very bad manic depressive spell when I moved off to college at age 22 and only then was I formally (and correctly) diagnosed Bipolar II.

If you ever want to talk about it feel free to PM.Good luck.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[Squeak 17]

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No, I wouldn't forgo it.
.

What if the disorder were somthing like Huntington's Chorea, before anyone anwers read up on it.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[lisamariewillbe 1]

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before anyone anwers read up on it

Cant ya just post a clicky

Oh and if I had the above, I probably would have children if the doctor said there was a chance the child would get it. I didnt have children for them to live in pain for their entire life... only the 18 years I get to embarrase them

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[Scoop 0]

I think it would make me think more carefully about alternatives like adoption... or a puppy

Luckily for me the only real herditary condition in our family has been heart disease in the later years. I don't class that as a disorder as such, its one of those things that can snuff you out prematurely but doesn't affect your everyday living so I wouldn't have aproblem assuming my partner was as fortunate.

[Squeak 17]

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before anyone anwers read up on it

Cant ya just post a clicky

Oh and if I had the above, I probably would have children if the doctor said there was a chance the child would get it.

I'ts not a chance it's a garuntee, and can be tested pre-pregnancy

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[ladyskydiver 0]

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No, I wouldn't forgo it.
.

What if the disorder were somthing like Huntington's Chorea, before anyone anwers read up on it.

As Huntington's is a dominant disorder (and no one in my family has it so it would have to be from an SO's family), I'd want my SO to be tested to see if he carried the defective allele. If he did then he and I would both sit down and discuss children and the issues that would happen IF the child received the defective allele. (There's a 1 in 4 chance that a child will receive a defective allele.)

If after we discussed the situation, we decided to go ahead and try for children, I would want genetic testing in utero and at that point in time make a decision based on the results.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[Squeak 17]

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[replyIf after we discussed the situation, we decided to go ahead and try for children, I would want genetic testing in utero and at that point in time make a decision based on the results.

and a posistive result would lead to what descision?

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[klr 0]

No,

but each case is different.

I already stand a well high chance of inheriting a condition from my old man & when I went to visit my mom in hospital on Saturday she had been asked by her specialist to take me to one side and tell me that I stand, yet again, another high chance of inheriting the condition that she hid from our entire family for the last 29 years !

I would hate to think that my parents, knowing what they know, may have decided to not to have me.

I've had a ball the last 34 years ... !!

Things may get difficult in the future, but ya can't have everything easy.

'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.'

[jumpwally 0]

yes,,,,,

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[ladyskydiver 0]

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If after we discussed the situation, we decided to go ahead and try for children, I would want genetic testing in utero and at that point in time make a decision based on the results.

and a posistive result would lead to what descision?

That'd be a discussion that my SO and I would have to have and see where both of us stood and go from there.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[P.F. 0]

As the father of an Autistic son.....Yes! I Stopped having children because the possibility of me and my wife of having another is far greater with each additional child.

http://home.comcast.net/~thefishwrapper

[TheAnvil 0]

I think that's something you and your S.O. need to discuss. Probably with a doctor. I'm not sure myself and think it highly dependent on the two of you and your relationship.

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[Eiley 0]

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I'ts not a chance it's a garuntee, and can be tested pre-pregnancy

If a parent has it, the child has a 50/50 chance of having it.

If you have it, there's 100% guarantee you will die from it. And the death is truly horrible.

My partner had it and we decided not to have kids. However, other members of his family with it have chosen to have children in the hope there will be a cure by the time it kicks in on them. Generally they leave it up to the kids to be tested in their teen years.

It's not a life of pain and misery - symptoms don't kick in until mid-30s. After that it is a life of pain and misery for both the sufferer and their loved ones.

nothing to see here